Love and Marriage

July 15, 2003

Table of Contents

FSM 382 CM/FM

February 2002

We Met on a Staircase2

You’ve Got “E-male”!5

The Queen of My Life6

The Answer10

Silver Anniversary12

Signs and Wonders13

The Law of Love

The Sweetness, the Closeness, the Rewards16

The Pros of Living the Law of Love18

Dad’s Encouragement20

The Lord, Our Link21

Saved by Prophecy!24

How the Lord Saved My Life and Gave Me Love24

We Met on a Staircase

By Mercy (of Byron Surrender), Europe

It was a beautiful evening in August 1974. I had turned 17 a few days before and was on my way to the Poorboy Club in Geneva, Switzerland, where I had been a catacomber for one year. I had just finished a semester at a boarding school in a little town nearby, and was going to see the Family for the first time in four months.

As I walked down the stairs towards the club, this cute guy looked up at me. His green eyes caught mine and reached deep into me, as a broad, amused smile lit his face. I felt like I had been hit by lightning, and a very strong, clear impression shot through my heart: “This is the man you’re going to marry!”

I was shocked, and thought it was my imagination. I introduced myself (my name was Naama then) and so did he (his name was Isaiah at the time). He kept trying to look into my eyes, but I just evaded his gaze, lest my eyes betray my emotions.

We saw each other a few times during the following two weeks. Then he was gone. I asked one of my fellow catacombers where he’d gone and when she told me, I wrote him a letter. Just a simple “Hi, how are you?” letter.

What a surprise when a few days later came his reply. It was almost word for word the Letter “Lord Byron’s Surrender” (ML #301C). The words burned themselves into my memory: “Behold, I am married unto thee and nothing us twain shall part!” But how could this be? I wasn’t even in the Family yet, he was moving around, and we hardly knew each other!

Over the next few months we met only a couple of times, and then I had to go to England for a while. By the time I joined full time in the spring of 1975, we had pretty much lost contact.

I then moved to France and one day was talking with a sister about Byron and what had happened between us, wondering what to do. She suggested I write him and find out if he really wanted to marry me. So I wrote another “Hi, how are you?” letter and sent it to the last Home I had heard he was in. Then I made a fleece that if I got a reply by a certain date, it would be a confirmation that it was the Lord’s will for us to get married.

Byron had changed locations and it took quite a while for my letter to reach him. I moved as well, and as the date I’d set as a fleece was getting closer, I felt that it probably wasn’t the Lord.

Then one day I got very sick with a high fever, a terrible cough, and pain in my chest. I could hardly breathe, and the shepherds were quite concerned about me. Then someone came in with a letter and asked, “Do you know anyone in Germany?”

“No,” I replied.

“Well, there’s a letter for you from Germany.” I opened it and it was from Byron. I was so happy! It sparked hope in me. I prayed for the Lord to heal me, and within 30 minutes I was up and around, completely healed, and I even went witnessing that afternoon!

My shepherd was quite curious to know what was in the letter that had caused such a miracle, ha! So I explained and he suggested I write to Byron and ask him plainly if he wanted to marry me. That was hard on my pride, as I always felt the man should be the one to ask. But then the Lord reminded me of the letter Byron had written after we first met, so I decided to do it.

A few days later in Germany, Byron was praying for a wife. He asked the Lord to show him that day who he should marry. That very day, he received my letter asking him if he still wanted to marry me! So he answered yes.

From then on, we had to decide who would join whom. I was in the south of France and Byron in northern Germany. After back and forth communications that took a few months (that was before e-mail), the Lord settled it by giving me a dream that I should go to Germany.

So that was decided, but then organizing the move took another couple of months, and I was getting quite impatient. To encourage myself I would make little fleeces every day. As I was car litnessing, I’d pray things like, “Lord, if I see five cars from Germany today, I’ll take it as a confirmation that it’s Your will for us to marry.” So He’d do it, day after day.

Finally I think the Lord got a little tired of those fleeces. One day as I was doing my usual counting, it was five minutes from the time to go home and I was short one German car for my daily fleece. I was already thinking, “That’s it! It’s not the Lord’s will after all!” when I saw a big truck coming right towards me! It was from Germany and on the side in huge letters was the name of the very city Byron was in. It was like the Lord shouting at me, “Yes, it’s My will! Are you getting the point?!” I had a good laugh at myself and stopped “fleecing.”

I finally made it to Germany, where Byron and I started living in the same Home. It was very nice, but we also had our ups and downs. Finally, our downs seemed too many and I decided that maybe it wasn’t the Lord’s will after all. (I must have been quite dense, seeing all the Lord had done.) So I told my shepherds I thought that was the end of it. I felt I had made a big mistake in asking Byron about getting married, so I decided I’d never ask a man that again. I also asked the Lord, as a sign, that only the man who was to be my husband would ask me to marry him and no one else.

As I was a childcare worker in that Home, I only went out witnessing on the weekends, usually on a faith trip. One weekend it so happened that there was no other partner to go with me but Byron. The shepherd asked if it would be OK with me to go with him and I said yes, but I was afraid of being alone with him, as I felt he would want to talk about “us.”

The evening came, the dreaded time when we were alone together. He told me how he loved me and asked me if I’d marry him in spite of all that had happened. I asked him for a day to pray about it.

After returning back home, I had a little argument with the Lord. “I asked You, Lord, that only the one who is destined to be my husband would ask me to marry him and no one else. What are You doing?”

The Lord answered: “He is destined to be your husband. Say yes.”

So I swallowed my pride, said yes, and then went to face my shepherd to tell him I’d changed my mind. He replied, “I’ll marry you two next week, so you won’t have time to change your mind again.”

A week later, on the fourth of July, 1976, we were married. We now have nine children, two grandchildren, and are still deeply in love.

After we got married, I asked Byron why he wrote me the words from “Lord Byron’s Surrender” in that first letter I received from him. I knew he liked me and we got along well, but it had been too short a time for us to see if we were even in love. He said, “I asked the Lord what to write to this little girl and that’s what He showed me to write, so I did it.” Ha! Thank You, Jesus!

(See Eve 18 for tips from Mercy on life and motherhood.)

Byron and Mercy captions:

Byron and Mercy, on their wedding day 25 years ago!

Byron and Mercy at their 25th wedding anniversary, July 2001

You’ve Got “E-male!”

By Mary SGA (of Michael), Thailand

I started writing a guy that I didn’t really know but had met briefly years ago at a YA seminar. I wasn’t sure about trying out the e-mail method, but it was my only option as guys were so scarce in my area! I gave it a shot and we became very close that way. Our closeness grew to a desire to want to be together.—We had fallen in love via mail!

I moved to his Home early last year and we were married six months later. I’m now pregnant, and we’re going to be having a baby in March.

A lot of people say mail is a pretty unreliable way to get to know someone. True, it can be. But in the Family we’ve been blessed with a foundation of honesty and faith in one another, right?

I just thought my testimony would encourage other single girls that there is hope, as I really thought I was going to be a nun for life. The Lord had promised me all the desires of my heart, but it was so hard to wait and trust Him for it. He did have the perfect match for me out there, though, and He put me together with my soul mate, even through the mail.

(Editor’s note: Do you have a story about how the Lord put you together with the one He planned for you? Or how He helped you wait till His choice came along? Or maybe you can share how He’s taken care of you as a single person in the Family? Please send in any testimonies of miracles of the Lord’s love and care along these lines. We’d love to hear from you!)

The Queen of My Life

By Johannes (of Milcah), Europe

She was right there in front of me when we sang the last song of the evening, a beautiful, dark-blond, gentle, soft-spoken, slender girl with big blue eyes.

I was working behind the scenes two evenings of the week in the Copenhagen Poorboy Club, and acting in a few skits. The last skit was a powerful rock opera about System slavery and how to get out of it! She was sitting in the audience, one of the visitors, and as we all were singing the last song, I sang it just for her. Afterward I invited myself to her table. Milcah told me she was from Paris, studying at the University of Copenhagen. During the last hour before the club closed, we spoke in English about salvation and God’s love, as I didn’t speak French yet. (I’m Danish.)

To my great surprise, when she left Milcah said, God Nat! (good night) in perfect Danish. She then revealed she was half French and half Danish, but her vocabulary was not as rich in Danish as in English. Pretty good, knowing three languages so well! I think my speech must have been pretty incomprehensible. In fact, my eyes were shooting stars. I was quite impressed!

As a teen I had seen the film North to Alaska with John Wayne. In it, his friend needed a wife and John went to the big city to pick up a French girl for him. Ever since, my dream had been to marry a French girl. But about Milcah I thought, She is way too pretty to pay any attention to me. Besides, she is only 18 and I am 28. But the Lord has a way of giving us even the desires of our hearts.

Love has no boundaries!

It took two months and several visits to the Poorboy Club for Milcah to get saved. After another two months, one evening I sang her some songs, in particular “A Castle Made of Sand.” I told her about dropping out for the Lord, and she joined the next morning. She was in different Colonies and then moved to Christiania in Copenhagen.

I was given responsibility of the work in Christiania and the Copenhagen district and was living in the same house as Milcah. It was a year after we had met that I asked her to work with me, to see if we were fit for each other, and she agreed! But when I explained more in detail what it meant—working and praying together to see if we liked each other (six months was the rule), she told me point-blank, “I don’t want it!”

In spite of this, for the following four months I tried to work together with Milcah, since I was there anyway! We did have some fun together, going out on hikes, listening to music, skinny-dipping, a bit of kissing (but no sex). However, no positive statement on the marriage question was in sight.

Two more times in the following two months I asked Milcah to marry me; each time she answered with a no. Then I was called to a three-day meeting in another part of the country. When I returned, Milcah jumped at me and put her arms around my neck and told me she had missed me.

Love hopes all things!

Before I joined the Family, I had been married for eight years. As the policy in the Family at that time was “no sex till married,” I had had two-and-a-half years of a desert-dry love life. All this physical love energy was translated into spiritual love energy, though with some emphasis on the girls, I have to admit.

Love is patient!

We were to be married on a Saturday after the show at the Poorboy Club, but due to an important meeting, the regional shepherd who was supposed to conduct the ceremony couldn’t come. We waited with anticipation for the next Saturday night. This time the car had a motor problem, and as our shepherd lived around 100 km from the capital, again he couldn’t come.

Finally the third week came around and again the car had a breakdown. We then decided together with the shepherd to marry ourselves with the ones present.

One may think, with all these obstacles, that it was maybe not the Lord’s will for Milcah and me to be together. But as you may have noticed by now, I was not taking no for an answer!

We stood in a circle with our eight co-workers in the now-empty Poorboy Club, Saturday, November 22, 1975. I prayed for the Lord to be present with us, as He had been with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, to bless our getting together. Milcah and I said yes to each other, with a prayer that the Lord would help us stick together in our ups and downs, in health or sickness, in riches or poverty, till He wanted us to part. A co-worker prayed a prayer of blessing for us, all said amen, and we kissed! We all had a drink together and then we were off to our honeymoon night.

Love believes all things!

(Milcah:) Our marriage ceremony was done somewhat on the run and was not as romantic as I would have imagined it. I was very young and would say that I was not very prepared for what was ahead. It was only later in my life that I was able to fully commit myself. That commitment is more of a time reference for me than our wedding, in a way.

Later we were involved in a wedding ministry, and I had the opportunity to see many fancy weddings, well prepared, with fancy dresses and ceremonies, but sadly, the statistics show that 50% end up in divorce. So I saw that it’s not all in the ceremony!

That night we took a taxi to my brother’s house where we had been invited for the night. A thin single mattress had been prepared in the upstairs corridor for our first night together.

Love endures all things!

(Joh:) The next day, with no money in our pockets, we went hitchhiking through Germany and Belgium to Milcah’s parents’ house in Brussels. Due to some mistakes in my business handling, I was called back to Denmark. Our honeymoon had lasted three days.

For Christmas we were invited to her parents’ holiday house. There we had a combined Christmas-marriage dinner with them and Milcah’s brother and two sisters.

Due to my mistake, I lost my job as national finance man and district shepherd. We were transferred to the north of Sweden as normal Family members, without titles. For more than a month we were on the road looking for a place to live. Every day we would be witnessing and asking people for a place to sleep that night. The Lord did the miracle, and every night we got a place to sleep indoors. Outside it was at times minus 20°C!

Love is not puffed up!

We were separated on two occasions. After one year together, we went to France. We had been in Marseilles and then Toulouse for about four months when Milcah got fed up with being my full-time translator. I have to admit, I was a bit lazy learning the language, as she was so good at translating! At the same time our relationship was not doing so well. Milcah felt like giving up, when she was invited by some friends to have a break. In the two months that she was gone, I was stuck with only French speakers and learned to speak enough of the language to make it on my own. I also learned to appreciate her more, so that time apart was a blessing in disguise.

The second time we separated, Milcah didn’t feel our marriage was going so well, so she wanted to separate and wanted me to agree to it. The only answer I could get was, “Let the bird fly free; she may come back!” So I agreed to the separation, though it was breaking my heart. I thank the Lord it only lasted three months.

Love suffers long!

(At least for me, Joh, it felt long!)

(Milcah:) This time of separation was a relief for me, as it had been hard for me to handle the pressure of married life. As soon as we were not in agreement about things, I would think I had made a mistake. During our time apart I had time to “find myself” again, who I was and what I wanted to do. I believe it is necessary to be away from each other at times. At the end of the three months, I had to get desperate to seek God’s will. He showed me clearly that my place was beside Joh. Also we both didn’t want the children to be separated. Since then, I haven’t questioned our union anymore, but have fought for our marriage, which has made it much easier. The Enemy didn’t have this inroad any longer!

(Joh:) Most of our downers have been at times when I was leaning on the arm of the flesh, lacking in going to the Word and the Lord, lacking in time spent with the children and teaching them the Word. At times I would be feeling a lack of sex and at times Milcah would be feeling unappreciated. It’s a typical man/woman conflict, I think. I’m not the most romantic guy you can find (Capricorn), and I have learned to be more that way. She is not the most sex-craving woman in the world, but she has learned to give more.

Love found a way!

I thank God we never had strong, uncontrolled arguments. We were usually able to discuss our points of view and either agree on one or the other, or agree to disagree. In front of the children and others we decided to agree with each other, but afterward we would often discuss and come to an agreement, or to a compromise for next time. At times, we would have to divide our responsibilities into spheres of influence, where either I would decide or Milcah would decide.

In 1993, 50 policemen raided our Home and I was put in prison. Milcah fought for our children like a mother-lioness robed of her cubs.—She is a Leo! Our children were placed in a social institute for over a month. The youngest was released within a week but it took nine lawyers and a lot of fight to get the others out. Thank God for mothers, who can organize counterattacks and go places where we men are denied access.

Love never fails!

With a pretty and gentle wife like Milcah, it is almost impossible for men not to fall in love with her. On many occasions men would manifest their love in quite obvious ways. We have usually wanted an open marriage, willing to let others into our intimate union. When we have, most of the times we found it enriching, giving us beautiful times of love, unity and inspiration, especially when this happened with a single person, which is not the easiest thing on the other partner.

We had the blessing of nine years together with Mary, who helped us with our children, treated them as her own, and never asked to be on an equal basis with Milcah. The Lord also gave us almost three years with Dan. His music, enthusiasm, and love always inspired us to new heights. The children were blessed with lots of Word and music lessons. Without him Milcah and I would not be doing as well musically as we are today. They taught us that “love seeks not her own.”

In conclusion I would like to say, love never fails! Milcah and I have been married for 26 years. She is the beautiful mother of our seven children. God is love, and He is the One Who has made it work.

P.S. Please feel free to write us at: Johmilfr@aol.com.

Johannes and Milcah photo captions:

Cover pic: Milcah and Johannes, married 26 years and parents of seven, now on their way to Togo!

“The Pioneers”-a singing group of Joh and Milcah and kids Michelle (15), Christophe (10), and Tatiana (12). The Pioneers recorded a CD in Togo with African musicians, and plan to return to Togo, Africa, in January 2002 along with the three children, Sara MD, and her son Roby (14).

The Answer

By Rejoice Fighter (of Daniel), Brazil

A little over a year ago I got very desperate with the Lord about having someone to share Jesus’ love with. I had up until that time found great love and comfort in Jesus, and I really did consider Him my Lover and Husband; it’s just that sometimes it got to be quite lonely and difficult. I had been a single mother of five for a long time and had been quite disappointed as far as getting a mate.

Many times I had prayed for a mate, but nothing really happened until I prayed a desperate, on-my-knees, crying, specific prayer. I somehow knew that the Lord was going to do something, though there was really nothing in sight—that is, no single male anywhere nearby.

Time passed and suddenly my shepherd decided to visit his ex-wife, who lived about a day’s ride away. When he came back after being gone over the weekend, he was very inspired, because, as he said, he had “found a husband” for me. He had met a Dutch brother, had told him all about me (I am Norwegian, but at 12 moved to Holland), and the brother was going to write me.

To be honest, I wasn’t too enthusiastic about the prospect, and didn’t dare to hope for much. LHM! A couple of days later I received a short e-mail from the brother and we started to write each other almost every other day.

The shepherd thought it was a very funny situation. As it turned out, the brother he met came from the same city I lived in Holland. He took his dog out to the same park I used to go to, and we went to the same swimming pool! Every year he played music at my school for the yearly school concert. His sister studied at the same school as I did. We drank coffee at their family restaurant. In short, we had lived close to each other without knowing each other!

I decided that I didn’t want to wait very long to see if this was my guy, so I prayed about it, asking the Lord if I should meet him. The Lord worked it out for me to meet him, and—miracle of miracles—we really clicked! It went especially well with the kids also, who were 14, 12, and 8 at the time. (The two oldest didn’t live with me anymore.) This was a true miracle, as before I always had had problems with them accepting brothers I was interested in.

After some time of living together we decided to get married. I had already received from the Lord that it was His will, but Daniel hadn’t received a prophecy about it, though he really wanted us to be together. The date for us to get married drew near and the Lord did one thing after the other. Both of my brothers came over from Europe just for the occasion. I felt very special!

We wanted to have a Family ceremony, but we had a very hard time finding someone to perform it. The Lord knew why. He had, unbeknownst to us, already worked out His plan, and it was not until the day before our wedding that we found out what it was.

The day before the wedding took place, we were still pretty much up in the air about having enough tables, chairs, etc. So in the evening Daniel phoned a nearby Home for some chairs. On the other end of the line, the brother mentioned the latest news that a sister had just arrived from Finland and that her name was Marie. Daniel right away asked to speak to her, although she was very tired from her long trip.

What happened is that the Lord had sent the sister who had won Daniel to the Lord and the Family over 13 years ago all the way from Finland to this tiny corner of Brazil! She didn’t know that Daniel was here either, and that he was going to get married; they had lost all contact.

The next morning we did our legal ceremony in town. Marie became the special guest at our wedding and became our pastor to marry us before the Lord in the Family. She also brought a prophecy she had received about our marriage.

The day was absolutely beautiful; all the brethren from the area were here and were singing beautiful songs. The Lord supplied a gorgeous, enormous cake. I could only look to the Lord with a very thankful heart and thank Him over and over again for all the miracles. Then if all this wasn’t enough, the Lord touched my brothers’ hearts and they paid for a hotel room for us to spend the night. It was so very special for me; I felt the Lord’s love was so overwhelming.

Daniel got his confirmation from the Lord in His Own perfect way: Last but not least, the sister from Finland also said that many years ago she had told Daniel that one day she would marry him! How the Lord worked out every detail—just amazing. All praise and thanks to our wonderful Husband!

Daniel and Rejoice Photo captions:

Daniel and Rejoice

Top l-r: Emmanuel (14), Heaven (19), Rejoice and Daniel-just married! Bottom l-r: David (21), Martin (10), (Lisa (16).

Silver Anniversary

By Shiloh (of Phil), Russia

How did we do it? That’s a good question! Anyone who knows us knows it had to be the Lord! We are so opposite in so many ways. Phil is a Cancer and very slow, careful, and deliberate. I’m a Gemini and just the opposite. But I guess that makes us a good balance. We know other couples in the Family who are Cancer/Gemini and have also been married for a long time, so maybe it’s a good combination.

I’ve always felt that one of the keys to us staying together has been the fact that we both felt so strongly that marriage was forever and we didn’t take the decision to get married lightly.

I joined the Family when I was 22 as a single mom with my one-year-old son, Jeremy, now Daniel. (Daniel is now 30 and has five children of his own, aged 7 to 1½.) As a single mom, I learned to love the Lord as my Husband. One of my favorite verses was “For thy Maker is thine Husband” (Isaiah 54:5), and I really grew to enjoy being married to Jesus.

I wasn’t really looking for a husband anymore, and when Phil asked me to marry him one day, it really surprised me! I didn’t know what to say! He said that the Lord had shown him that it was His will, and he was willing to wait until the Lord showed me, too. I really got desperate with the Lord then. I knew that this was one of the most important decisions of my life and I didn’t want to make a mistake. The Letter “Choice” had just arrived in the mail and I read that Letter over and over.

One night Phil and I were sitting in the living room talking. It was late and everyone else had gone to bed. I was looking at him and praying, “Lord, is he the one You want me to marry? Please give me a sign so that I’ll know for sure and never doubt that I made the right decision.”

Just then I had a very heavy spiritual experience. I don’t know if it was a vision or something happening in the spirit, or if it happened in the physical—but either way, I think it really happened! Phil started to change and it was as though I was seeing his spiritual body! He turned a kind of bronze color, and looked real strong, like an archangel. Although he stayed on the couch on the other side of the room, his spirit came towards me, and I felt my spirit leave my body and go towards him. Suddenly we met and became one! And the Lord said, “Now you don’t have anything to pray about! I just married you!”

It was so heavy for me that I couldn’t look at it and I covered my eyes. When I opened my eyes again, Phil had come from the other side of the room and was kneeling in front of me. He then asked me again to marry him. It turned out that he had had the same experience that I did! So I said yes.

The next day as Phil was going out the front door to go witnessing, three-year-old Daniel said, “Where’s my daddy going?” And later that day we got a call from one of our shepherds saying, “I heard that you are going to get married!” We hadn’t told anyone! So by this time we were sure it was the Lord’s will.

Over the years we have had our ups and downs, and a couple of times it looked like we weren’t going to make it as a couple, but somehow the Lord pulled us through. We just held on and the storm passed.

We had four more children together and have traveled to 40 countries as missionaries. We’ve spent most of our time in Latin America and Eastern Europe and have now been in Russia again for over four years. Our youngest four children aren’t in the Family, but are doing well and we have good communication with them.

I think we can truly say that after going through thick and thin together, we are best friends. We seem to enjoy almost all the same things, and it always amazes me how we usually get exactly the same burdens to do the same things for the Lord. “The best things in life are shared”—so I would highly recommend marriage!

Phil and Shiloh captions:

Phil and Shiloh

Signs and Wonders

From Karyn Fischer (formerly Abigail Florence)

I’d like to testify to miracles the Lord has done in my life over the past few years. In fact, the story goes back many years. Ever since I was a teen I always believed that I was destined to get married and have a tribe of kids, but it never happened the way I thought it would. I joined the Family at 23 and each year would wonder when I was going to get mated and start having a brood of children. At the same time I was quite content to wait and never prayed for a mate or for children, as I believed that the Lord was in control and He knew when the right time would be.

Nevertheless, it was still a very big thing in my heart, and by the time I turned 30 (a few years ago) I couldn’t wait any longer. I humbled myself and asked the Lord if He had someone for me, and if so, could He please bring him along soon. That started the next few years of trials and tribulations involving a series of disappointments with relationships, but ultimately leading me to His choice and not mine.

At age 33 I was in Thailand and planning to go and visit my family in Australia for the first time in nine years. Just three days before I was due to leave, my shepherds told me that they had prayed for me and they had gotten that I needed to be open to anything the Lord might want to do while I was down there, and that He might even lead me to stay there. I remember my shepherdess saying something like, “It doesn’t mean if you do stay there you can’t come back. Maybe you’ll get mated and come back, who knows!” I readily received what she shared with me, as it somehow seemed to give me new hope.

After spending a few weeks with my mother, I wondered what was to become of me and began my quest for the Lord’s will in my life. I began visiting the Homes there, first in Melbourne, and stayed with a couple there I had lived with when I joined, whom I felt close to.

I then visited a Home in Sydney where I heard Mike Fischer was staying. I was quite excited because we hadn’t seen each other since I had left Australia in 1987. He had actually led me to the Lord in 1985, and I went on to join full time two weeks later. It was only a few days after I saw him that Mike went away for a week with his kids. I couldn’t bring myself to leave before seeing him again, so I stayed until he got back. When he did, he was surprised to see me, but happy.

We spent three nights together before it came time for me to leave. During that time I asked Mike to pray for me and explained how it was difficult for me seeing him again because I felt like, “Oh no, here I go again.” I’d had so many disappointments in the past and didn’t want to put myself through that again or get too emotional.

Mike counseled me that I needed to be thankful and happy to be single and to “keep my heart with all diligence.” He also sang me some beautiful faith-building songs. It seemed to give me a peace and victory that I hadn’t had up until that point. I actually felt like I had the strength to go on now and be happy and serve the Lord in spite of not being mated or having a family.

Mike made a trip down to Melbourne the following week. Arrangements were made for him to stay at another Home, but after arriving there, I sent him a note to call me, which he did right away. We both wanted to see each other, so we asked if he could stay at my Home instead. He moved into my room and we spent the next three weeks there together. It was a very special time.

During those three weeks my mother had invited me to travel to her hometown and attend a special church service to speak about my experiences in Thailand. I accepted the offer and Mike ended up being my companion on the trip, as there was no one else available at the time. I was quite nervous, as I’d never spoken publicly to a group before, nor sung publicly either! But I didn’t tell Mike that, and so he assumed that I’d done it many times, ha! We practiced a few songs, I prepared a presentation, and off we went!

It was quite an eventful trip. At this point we were very much in love with each other, but thinking that it was probably just for a time, and so we were just enjoying each other’s company. While there we had a huge bonfire that my stepfather had prepared. The four of us sat out under the stars, and as Mike had his guitar we began singing songs around the fire. It was quite an intimate time of fellowship together with my parents.

Then something very unusual happened. We looked up at the sky and it was completely clear—not a cloud in the sky. We were admiring the night sky and the fire blazing up into it, when it seemed like only a few minutes later we happened to look up into the sky again and to our amazement there was a form in the clouds hovering right above us! It was the perfectly formed outline of a huge hand with all the fingers, the thumb and palm, with one cloud portion for each of the parts of the fingers and hand. It was so clear and so perfectly formed that we felt for sure it was the very hand of God! It was spine-tingling! We sat there with goose bumps all over us! We commented that God’s hand surely was over us and upon us. It was a thrilling experience!

Shortly after that, the date drew near for Mike’s return to the States. I was to remain in Australia. I prayed desperately, asking the Lord what I should do about my feelings towards Mike. Was this something that He was ordaining or was this just another “for a time” love affair that He had brought across my path? Well, the Lord gave me clear prophecies indicating that by faith I should go ahead and share with Mike all that I felt.

After he returned to the States we continued in close communication, writing daily e-mail messages to each other. We decided to both spend a day in prayer and in the Word concerning our relationship. We missed each other terribly and wondered what the Lord was doing in all of this.

When we prayed, we both got exactly the same things from the Lord. Sharing the prophecies that we got for each other strengthened our faith and belief that a long-term commitment was indeed something the Lord was endorsing and ordaining.

I also prayed at that time about the significance of the cloud hand and the Lord gave a beautiful prophecy, saying that it indeed was His stamp of approval upon our time together and that He had His hand upon our union. It was a very beautiful and significant sign that the Lord gave us that we can hold on to and remember and refer to in days to come.

The Lord told us to put all these things down in a book to carry with us, to remind us of all that He has done in bringing us together. We wrote many love letters and poems to one another during the time it took me to join him in the States, and the Lord told us that He wanted us to record and keep them.

Within two months the Lord raised up a sweet friend of mine (I used to work with her before joining the Family) who used her tax return money to buy my ticket. She was overjoyed to help me reach my dream of getting married. GBH!

Upon arriving in the States I became pregnant the very first week I was there! This time I made it full term, which was a miracle as I’d had quite a few miscarriages. I had been told as a young teen that I might not be able to have children for health reasons. We had a boy and named him Samuel, after Hannah’s son in the Bible. He’s the joy and rejoicing of my heart and a beautiful, miraculous gift from God.

After giving up hope so many times, the Lord finally answered my deepest prayer request—to have a family, a husband and children. Praise the Lord!

UPDATE: In May of 2000 I had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy, and had emergency surgery. Although the doctors needed to remove part of my female organs on one side, they were able to repair damage on the other side. A few months later I became pregnant again and delivered a healthy baby boy, Reuben Benjamin, on July 16, 2001. Another miracle in my life! Thank You, Jesus!

Mike and Karyn captions:

Mike, Samuel, and Karyn

The Law of Love…

The Sweetness, The Closeness, the Rewards

By an FGA couple

The husband writes: We had a 21-year-old SGA stay with us for a week while passing through to the mission field. For us it was a golden opportunity to open up and share our lives with a sweet Family member.

On his second night here I asked my wife if she could give him a goodnight hug, so she got out of bed in her nightshirt and underwear and came back three and a half hours later. Wow! To say the least I was surprised, because I thought they were only going to hug for a couple of minutes.

We learned a good lesson about misunderstanding each other’s communication and intent, and realized that we needed to be clear about what was to go on and for how long, etc. Even though there wasn’t any sexual sharing that night, there was some confusion as a result of it.

Anyway, the next night we agreed that she could share with him for two hours and I had such an incredible peace about it, as this SGA man was very sweet and respectful.

Two nights later, my wife and I agreed that she would spend time with him again; this was the night before he left. It was such a blessing for all of us. I had such a peace about it that I fell asleep while they were together.

I’m totally convinced that a lot of the problems in the Family can be solved by all of us opening up and sharing our lives and wives to strengthen and renew the faith of our precious brethren in arms.

The wife writes: My husband and I have only been together for one-and-a-half years. Though we had read the Law of Love series three times, and discussed sharing with others many times, I wasn’t ready to begin sharing with others yet, as we both had come from marriages that didn’t turn out well.

When we prayed about practicing the Law of Love, the Lord showed us that He would indicate when it was time to share with others, and that it would be clear to both of us. In fact, the Lord said that it would be “as clear as a bell”—which gave us both peace.

The Lord told me when He first put me together with my husband that it was to lead me in a new way, to teach me to give. Being married and committed was going to be His plan for me to learn to yield to the man of His choosing and also to truly give my all. Entering into this marriage was a step of faith, as I was on my way to a new field when we met. I had my invitation, funds, needs, and a good Home to go to. The Lord then revealed that our getting together was His plan and His creation, with many confirming prophecies. We both know what it is like to be single and alone. Even though we do have a wonderful Family and sweet brethren all over the world, we both know the pain of loneliness.

When my husband first suggested to me that he thought I should share with the SGA brother passing through our Home, I was worried because I didn’t want to be the first one to begin sharing, knowing that my mate didn’t have anyone to be with during our dates. But he kept encouraging me to take the first step. Knowing he would be alone made it hard for me, and before I could even go to my date, I had to go in the bathroom all alone and call out to the Lord for Him to give me the love and faith.

I really wanted to be there for the Lord to love this dear brother through me; plus I wanted to get over my fears of losing my husband. I knew that if I began sharing, that would mean he would now also be free to share. (He’s very handsome and women are constantly throwing themselves at him, everywhere we go.) So the Lord had to give me the grace.

Everything went well on the date, and I am so thankful to have had that time with the SGA brother. I feel we were able to communicate well, with no barriers between us. The Lord truly did bless our time together, and I hope it was an encouragement for the SGA. He’s very sweet, and was very respectful towards my husband and me.

Later when my mate and I got together, our lovemaking was enhanced—better than it had been the whole time we have been together! We are definitely closer now. We went on a little walk together, holding hands, and cuddling.—It was like falling in love all over again.

Yet the best part about this whole week was when I woke up in the middle of the night—one of those times when everyone else is asleep and you feel all alone. I began praying, and the Lord spoke to me in a way He has never spoken to me before. I felt His presence in a way I never had before. It was so beautiful that I can’t get it out of my mind! He told me so many beautiful words of love.—I knew it was Him speaking to the very depths of my heart in a way that I have never known the Lord to speak to me before. He gave me such reassurances that He was pleased with my husband and me for loving someone else in this way, and said that He was going to bless us and use us to help others. He said that He understood my trials and fears of stepping out by faith to include others in our relationship.

But most of all—and I can’t really describe this in its entirety—He reached down into my heart and told me that He was going to anoint me to give this love, that this love comes from Him, and that I wouldn’t have to worry about failing. I felt His unconditional, overpowering, complete love in a way I never felt before. It was so liberating and so sexy!

It’s only because of His great love that we are able to continue helping others. And when we do, our lives are blessed. During the time this sweet SGA was here, we were not doing well with fundraising. In fact, things were drying up, so to speak, and we had a hard time breaking through with getting appointments, etc. But the Lord kept telling us to just keep loving, and to help this dear brother. We knew he would only be here a short time, and we really wanted to help him on his way to the field. And when we did that, the Lord immediately opened up the doors for two matching financial grants in our area, in one week! Wow!

Our marriage has been blessed also, and we are stronger and more united than before. I could go on and on, because there are so many fruits of sharing and opening our lives to others. Lord help us to continue.

The Pros of Living “The Law of Love”

By an SGA, Europe

For some time I had very big battles with the Law of Love. It started a few years ago when I had some unpleasant experiences with jealousy when I shared my mate for the first time. There were a few little mistakes made and the battles were almost too much for me to bear. I was shocked how horribly transformed I can become if I yield to the spirit of jealousy, and what a painful battle it is!

It took me a very long time to get the victory over the bitterness I developed against my mate and the girl he shared with. Even though I felt okay most of the time, I didn’t accept the Law of Love in my heart. I felt resistance in my heart every time I heard the word or I read it in a GN.

A few months ago I felt that I wouldn’t be able to be in the Family any more, since I was not able to follow all the way. I wasn’t against the Family, because I believe with all my heart that the Family at its worst is still better than anything in the System at its best. I would never want my mate or kids to leave with me, if I were to leave.

But I just started to feel that I didn’t fit into the picture, that I was not able to go in the direction the Lord is leading the Family. Sometimes I felt very rebellious and most of the time I was pretty unhappy. I felt trapped because I didn’t want to leave the Family and I couldn’t live without the Family, but at the same time I didn’t see myself in the Family. It was a very hard time for me.

The Lord gave me a prophecy that was the main key to the victory. Here it is:

(Jesus speaking:) These thoughts about leaving the Family that you toy with, even though not completely serious, yet are very real. I guess you understand that this is fire you are playing with when you allow yourself to think these thoughts. It horrifies you at times, gives you pain, and makes you feel hopeless. Yet the thoughts and feelings of rejection of the Law of Love are so real to you that you feel trapped and that you are a hopeless case and that there is no way forward for you, at least not in the Family. You not only don’t find it in yourself to follow the path of the Law of Love, but you even don’t want to. Thus you don’t take the initiative to fight.

Listen carefully, for I’ll give you the pros and cons of the choices you can make, and it’s your responsibility to judge.

OK, so what are you going to lose if you are going to live the Law of Love fully? Most of all you are going to lose your pride, egotism, possessiveness, and unyieldedness. You are going to lose your independence. It will be a great sacrifice, but this sacrifice will be rewarded with greater usefulness, unity, fruitfulness, happiness, and love.

You are not going to lose any love that you get now from your husband, but I am going to cause it to grow as you go forward to do My will. I will not only give you more love in your marriage and outside your marriage (and thus make you a better shepherdess and missionary), but I will greatly increase your love for your kids. They will make great progress by seeing your sample of love.

You see, when you go the way I lead you, you lose the things that you actually would love to get rid of and gain the things that you actually desire.

Now let’s see what you are going to lose if you follow your own path, if you refuse to fight, and if you refuse to change and accept My Law of Love for you. If you leave the Family, you lose your place of service in My highest will. You lose your very purpose for existing. You lose your husband and your children. You lose the ones in My Family who love you and to whom you are a blessing. You lose the good testimony you are to others, and you forsake the mission I have for you to fulfill in this time of the End.

Aren’t these a lot to lose? Are these not things that you hold most dear and most precious? I would say it’s like choosing to die. And while sacrificing to live the Law of Love feels like dying sometimes and it’s the agony of both spirit and flesh, can you compare the fruits of doing it with what you gain when you die by following the path that leads you out of the Family? The only things you will have saved are your independence, selfishness, unyieldedness, possessiveness, and jealousy.

I don’t want to lose you, My love! Don’t think that I require from you something more than you are able to give. Didn’t I tell you before that you have to have faith only for this minute, for this second? You don’t have to worry about the future. You don’t have to be afraid and think that you don’t have in yourself what it takes. I have faith in you! I know you will make it and I know you will be truly happy, happier than ever.

Just say yes now, when I ask you. And when the time will come to say yes again, I will give you the grace to say it. Don’t try to analyze the things of the Spirit with the carnal mind. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be (Rom.8:7).

If there is something you have questions about, if there is something that you don’t understand, instead of analyzing it and hardening your heart by rejecting it, come to Me and let Me explain. Let Me show you the answers. Let My Spirit give the understanding to your heart. It will require some fighting from you, but the rewards and the victories are well worth it. You will never regret that you have chosen to follow Me, and as David Livingstone, you will be able to say in the end, “I have never made a sacrifice.” (End of excerpts of message from Jesus.)

Dad’s Encouragement

Dad gave us all some very wise and loving counsel in the recent Letter “Keep Fighting!” (ML #3366, GN969) about battles that we may have over the Law of Love. He said:

The Lord never gives us more than we’re able to bear. So go to Him about [any Law of Love trials]. It’s between you and Him. You’re not going to be kicked out of the Family if you feel you just can’t live the sexual aspect of the Law of Love. It’s something that you have to make the decision about yourself.

But please ask the Lord about it. Ask Him what He expects or wants of you. What He has in mind or is asking you is likely very attainable, because the Lord will start you out slow and easy. Maybe there are other aspects of living the Law of Love that He wants you to practice right now, rather than the sexual side. Then, as you become stronger in living it overall or in those other ways, you will gain faith for the sexual aspect.

It’s only when you close yourself off, when you say, “I’m not going any further, I can’t and I won’t,” that you start to lose the Lord’s blessing and you can miss the mark. As long as you’re open and willing to take it one step at a time with Him, you can’t go wrong. He knows you so well, He loves you so much, and He’ll bring you along at the pace you can safely walk. Okay?

So often the Enemy tries to condemn us for all we’re not doing. He throws the whole book at us, trying to convince us that if we’re not doing it ALL, we might as well not do ANY. What a lie! All Jesus asks is one day at a time, one obedience at a time, one little willingness to ask Him and then take that one step at a time. It’s so much easier than you think, if you break it down like that and just handle it as it comes, as the Lord asks it of you. Because remember, He’ll never give you more than you can bear. So don’t let the Enemy scare you into quitting! I love you! (End of message from Dad.) (ML #3366:162-165)

The Lord, Our Link

A Courtship by Mail and Prophecy from Opposite Sides of the World!

By Abi, Europe Media Desk, October 1999 (with an update November 2001)

Our story really begins in the heavenlies, as the Lord and others on the Other Side must have really done some intervening to get us connected. There I was in Hungary, with the full-time service ministry of the media desk, and no thought or consideration of leaving it. And there was Simon over in Australia, a faithful, happy helper in the ABM media Home of Paul and Joy. Neither of us knew about each other or what the Lord had in store. The Lord has done amazing things for us, and I’m really happy to share it.

I separated from my first mate in 1986. Simon, my new mate, used to be Carpus; he joined in the U.S.A. in the early ‘70s. He and his first mate, Ashnah, went to Australia in the pioneer days and later on went to India. After returning to Australia, they separated some 10 years ago and he’s been living in Australia most of the time since then.

We’ve both been single for a long time, and although we’ve each made some attempts to find “someone,” these attempts were never successful. Deep in my heart I think I had given up much hope of finding “my other half” or the kind of beautiful love affair that we read about in the “Love Story” series.

As a result, loneliness and also sexual frustration has been a very long-standing trial for me, and sometimes it would seem almost unbearable. Thank the Lord that He is always there and the greatest Comforter and Lover, but sometimes I really ached for someone with skin on.

When I was at the media workshops in Mexico in 1998, I was walking with Joy and she mentioned “this lonely single brother” in their Home in Australia. Something touched my heart and I wanted to write to him. I don’t know if I would have done it, but when I got home someone gave me a copy of Lovelines and I saw that he had written an ad.

Something clicked and I wrote him a letter. I didn’t send it right away, though. I had so many questions, wondering “what’s the point?” Here I was in a Service Home, and how could anybody come here? I believe this is the Lord’s calling for me, so I wasn’t planning to leave it to go anywhere. And besides, how can a relationship be built just by mail? (The Lord answered all of this later on!)

It came around to the anniversary of my son Pax’s graduation. He went to be with the Lord in 1982 when he was three years old, and over the past years he’s popped up all over the place, which is a testimony for another time and place. Often on his Homegoing anniversary I ask him for a message, so this time I prayed about Simon and the letter I’d written him. Pax told me to go ahead and write to Simon, but to rewrite the letter. He said to be more honest and just be myself! So that’s what I did, and sent it off by e-mail.

It turned out that about five other women also answered Simon’s ad, and the funny thing is that all of us are Geminis! He must have written something that particularly holds the key to Gemini hearts, ha!

He wrote back, and that’s how it began. We would write one another about once a week or more, but the main thing is that we kept on getting prophecies, individually. We told one another about ourselves, I think pretty honestly, and we also shared what the Lord was giving us. I really believe that basing the relationship on the prophecies we received was what got it going and kept it alive.

My analytical mind (LHM!) had so many doubts about whether I could safely open my heart to someone I hadn’t met. But the Lord would confirm to do so and would answer my questions. Like the question: “How can we fall in love without having met?” The Lord told me one day, “Well, that’s how you fell in love with Dad! It was just through the Letters.”

There are so many neat prophecies that the Lord gave. After about four months we started talking seriously about meeting. He was willing to come wherever I was and fit in as a “happy helper,” which is a miracle in itself, as I was not considering giving up what I feel is the Lord’s calling (my ministry here) for a relationship. So it had to be someone who was willing to join up with me, and that’s what dear Simon was and is—a miracle of God’s love for me.

Other people were getting prophecies for us at this point too, and finally the details were worked out and he was on the way. It turned out that I was to spend some time in England, based with Simon and Pearl, so we arranged our tickets so that we both flew in to London, arriving on the same day. I arrived from Hungary and waited two hours and his flight came in via Japan. Very romantic!

By then reality had caught up with me and I was struggling with the whole idea—which now seemed very crazy! I felt guilty about him spending so much money and making such an effort to come all the way across the world. And I wondered how it would be to meet and if we’d have the same physical attraction that we’d had spiritually—the “body chemistry.” The Lord gave me some very encouraging and specific prophecies, which got me to the airport, but I must say I was a bundle of nerves by the time he arrived.

All my worries were in vain. (When are they not!) Things just flowed between us. We spent a couple of days getting to know each other and by the second evening, our goodnight hug lasted all night. … After a few more days we prayed about rooming together—which we were doing by then anyway—and the Lord confirmed it, always reminding us to keep checking in with Him.

It was amazing, because right from the start we were very close. We just fit together, even though we’re so different. Days turned into weeks and things were great. Then the Feast rolled around, and on the last day, Simon proposed to me. I was ready and waiting for this, as the Lord had already told me this would happen, so it was easy to accept and we started our engagement. It was at the Family birthday celebration that we announced our engagement and the Home received prophecies for us.

That was over six months ago at the time of this writing, and we’re still engaged. We didn’t actually get mated yet, as I have had some reservations about the long-term commitment and there didn’t seem to be a need to rush into it. We live together and get along great. Simon is such a blessing to me; I cannot imagine my life now without him.

The Lord continues to speak to us about our relationship, how to climb the little hurdles that come along, and where to take things. Even when we’ve hit a few rough spots, the Lord has always confirmed that we should be together. He definitely is our link and what has kept us together!

P.S. Update November 2001:

Here we are now, approaching the third anniversary of Simon’s arrival, and the fact that we’re still together shows that this wasn’t just an overnight wonder. The sparkles of the initial romance have changed into the warm, steady glow of confidently knowing you are loved and cared for, and of loving in return. Of course we’ve had ups and downs, and emotions (being the fickle things that they are) have not always been steady, but our relationship has definitely been something the Lord ordained. We are both so thankful for what He has done for us!

Saved by Prophecy!

By Lilyjoy (of Jonathan), Philippines

I have a little testimony about how prophecy saved my marriage. God bless our dear CO for being a good sample of believing prophecy and putting it into action.

My mate and I were about to have a separation, but so many things happened to delay it—sickness, communication problems, not being able to agree on the kids’ situation, etc. When the CO shepherd visited, he didn’t give me much counsel about it—which is what I was hoping to get. He just said, “Pray and get a prophecy.”

He said, “If you can’t get one yourself, ask someone with you to get one. The VS shepherd will meet together with you, and you can make your decision from there.”

This gave me the fear of the Lord not to dwell on my feelings, but to do what He said. This also brought up the point of my yieldedness, which I now understand was one of the hindrances to my receiving prophecy up to then. I know that at that particular time I wasn’t yielded to anybody. I was very independent and stubborn, and that’s why the Lord’s Spirit couldn’t flow.

After our prophecy session, I decided to yield to what the Lord was saying, to yield to my mate’s wishes, and to bend in some of my independence. The Lord worked miracles!—It was almost an overnight victory! Although I still have to iron out a lot of snags along the way, we’re still together—saved by prophecy. Thank the Lord!

I’m finding my channel to be much more flowing than before, too. Hallelujah!

How the Lord Saved My Life and Gave Me Love

By Meeky SGA (of John P.), Thailand

My story begins with me as a teen who was lonely and for the most part insecure. Despite having the Lord and all the wonderful benefits of the Family, I was introverted and self-centered. I felt inferior to people who were talented and who always had friends and relationships. I was desperate to find my place and find someone to call my own.

I went through a few relationships that ended in heartbreak, leaving me feeling like a failure. I was deeply steeped in negative thinking, and felt that a successful love life would be impossible for me—a nice dream but never a reality.

I also went through a real tough time with an adult who fell in love with me and was pretty serious about me marrying him, even though he had kids and was married to a wonderful woman! This whole situation, sadly, did not take place according to the Law of Love and the counsel in the GNs, and the result was that I only became more disillusioned.

After this, I decided to leave the Family. The Home I was in was in spiritual turmoil and many were leaving the Family or were on their way out in spirit. Being desperate for answers, I talked with one of our shepherds, who told me, “You are a disciple! Don’t trade that for anything!” So I wrote the COs and pleaded for a way out of the mess I was in, telling them I couldn’t make the change on my own but basically needed a spiritual shove! Well, I got it! I was told I could move to the Open Home where I still am to this day. I also received a notice for six months of partial excommunication for misconduct with the adult in my previous Home.

I felt like I was rejoining and going through babes training all at once. Those times were some of my toughest, as I felt so low and like I had blown it so big and bad. I felt so lonely! Those times of desperation were good for me, though, as they helped me grow up and realize my actions are my own to take responsibility for and that I can’t blame others.

After that time of breaking and remolding, I was ready for new challenges and horizons. My thoughts returned to my “forever desire” of marrying and having kids. Soon enough, a great guy moved to our Home and I was pretty much immediately attracted to him. We hit it off real well and had some great times together. He was such a charmer, and right away I placed all my hopes in having a relationship with him.

The only problem was that he was already in love, and had been for several years, with another girl in the Home! She didn’t feel the same way towards him, so he was just waiting, watching, and hoping that one day his love would be returned.

As time went on, I discovered his loyal love for her and realized I wasn’t going to get him as easily as I thought. I began to get jealous and that feeling grew until I became obsessed with the thought of what I wanted and couldn’t have.

We continued to have dates, and I would try to extract as much love from him as I could, but as time went on I only became more possessive and the situation became more complex. I was a real mess! I became anorexic, thinking I wasn’t worth anything and figured I may as well give up and die! I became very thin and unhealthy—totally eaten up with jealousy.

The Lord used some very scary experiences to shake me up to the reality of my condition. When I contracted dengue fever I was hospitalized for five days, as my platelet count was so low and there was no nutrition in my blood to help me recover. I was on an IV drip for the whole time, and unable to eat and drink very much.

When I returned home from the hospital, though, I hadn’t learned much from the experience. I continued to eat like I did before, in other words not eating, making my recovery long and difficult.

I finally got sick of my depressed state. I told the Lord I was going to work as hard as I could for three months, and if I didn’t get the victory and have a change in my attitude then I would move to another field and try to forsake all that I hoped and dreamed for. By this time the person I wanted so badly was pretty much fed up with me, and rightly so, as I was so possessive of him he couldn’t do anything without me freaking out in angry jealousy! Poor guy! The sweet friendship he enjoyed with the one he was in love with was totally impossible due to my attitudes and constant accusing. Lord help me!

Then the bomb hit! Like a total surprise (although it shouldn’t have been), I found out I was pregnant from him! I didn’t know what to think, as I was finally getting what I wanted but under totally different conditions than what I had hoped for. By now I had really worn out the simple friendship we once had shared and he was not in any way, shape or form even considering marrying me.

I felt so insecure, with so many questions about the future that it all scared me! At that time the Law of Love letters hadn’t come out yet; however, he was advised by the shepherds to pray about marrying me. It was a difficult time for him, as he was so used to his independence and was not ready for the challenges of being a father—much less marrying someone who was now his archenemy!

Next he contracted dengue fever as well—a very bad case of it. He fainted one day outside and had to be rushed off to the hospital for stitches right beside his eye. He said that the Lord used this time to help him make the decision to yield to what he knew the Lord was asking him to do. I can never thank him enough for making this difficult decision in his life and yielding to the Lord’s will! It takes a lot of grace to be able to yield to Him when you don’t know what the future holds for you and it all looks very bleak. I love you, John! You’re the best!

So little by little he agreed to different things. When I was three months pregnant, he agreed to room together. Then my visa was running out and I could not travel to work to teach 60 kindergarten children (to maintain my visa), as I was so sick and weak from the pregnancy. The decision was made to legally marry so I could benefit from his visa. After many months we had a simple wedding at home when I was seven months pregnant. Then by the time the baby was born we were a couple made in Heaven! A total miracle and one I never expected, given our circumstances.

Another big test for him was receiving the Law of Love GN series just a month or so after he had decided to marry me. We read how the father need not marry the woman (although this option is the best), but only fulfill 20 months of “service” to the mother and child. I think this was a real test for him, as he had just missed that option, having just committed to me.

I know that it is only His love and grace that has brought us this far and made our lives so meaningful in giving us each other in this most unusual way!

The Lord has brought us very close together through so many situations. One particular aspect that He got a lot of mileage out of was the birth of our first baby, Darren. Darren was born with many complications and I really had to fight for his life in many ways! The doctors wanted me to come in for a C-section, as the baby was without water in the womb, and they feared the contractions would squeeze the cord and cut off his life supply of air and nutrition. I told them I would think about it. After desperate prayer and hearing from Him, I came back a week later and told them I would like to have a natural delivery. They were shocked at this.

With John and Ammi by my side and the Lord’s promises of a beautiful baby on its way, I delivered a three-kilo baby boy! He was three weeks premature, with the labor induced with double doses of medicine. I think the Lord let this happen as a reminder of the way I had abused my body by starving myself before I got pregnant. The baby had to have his lungs pumped extensively and had some other complications, but it was a miracle that he made it! He is now almost three years old and a joy to my heart.

In my life, the things I have had to fight for the hardest are the things that mean the most to me. I am now pregnant with our third and having such a great time being a mother and wife. I couldn’t think of a more wonderful thing to be doing and every day is such a gift from God! I’ve been so blessed with a perfect husband, tailor-made for me. I thank God everyday for his willingness to say “yes” to God and take me in to his life.

All I can say is that that simple step of obeying the Lord can change your life and someone else’s, as was my case.

Life is not without its struggles and a marriage takes a lot of work to maintain and improve, but the Lord is good and always gives us what we can bear. We face the challenges of life together and sometimes face the challenge of each other—ha! As time goes by, we only grow fonder of each other and we can honestly say that we are in love!

P.S. from John P.:

The Lord works in mysterious ways. I can’t say that anything in my life would have been the same, had the choices been left up to me. However I am thankful for the steps the Lord took to bring me to this point, and thank Him for His foresight, intervention and guidance in my life every step of the way. He sure knows best. All I can say is that I thank Him for helping me to make it through all those times of trials and testing, so that I might enjoy the blessings. If I were given the choice now, I wouldn’t change anything. He’s given me a wonderful wife, a beautiful family, and more than I ever wished for.

Photo Captions:

Sons of John P. and Meeky: Brendon (1), Laurent (3 mos.), Darren (2)

John P., Meeky, and Darren (at 11 mos.), Thailand

Copyright © 2002 by The Family

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