O'er Uncharted Seas!

July 15, 2003

Table of Contents

FSM 341 CM/FM

6/99

Copyright © 1999 by The Family

Introduction: In response to the request in the “Grapevine,” large families and single parents have written how they got to the field or pioneered Homes against all odds. Here are some of their testimonies, gathered over the last months, telling how the Lord helped them in amazing ways. God bless them! We pray for them, and for all of you who are continuing to brave uncharted seas at the Lord's command!

“The Lord's Loving Words Kept Us Hanging On”

From Joy (of Tim), India

We have finally arrived in India! We are so flipped out! From the moment we stepped off the plane, the Lord has filled our hearts to overflowing with such peace and happiness. It amazes us to see to see how quickly and easily our kids have adjusted and how happy they are. It was such a tremendous battle to get here and we now see why we went through so much.—But it was worth it all! We just can't express how honored we feel that the Lord has chosen us to be here in such an exciting country.

Before we left, we were so desperate, as it seemed the Enemy fought us in almost every decision and anything we put our hand to. It seemed that whenever we would seek the Lord about the next step to take, the Enemy would come in with his big lies and “boos.” At times it looked like we were not really getting our signals right from the Lord. But as we continued to follow where He led, even though it was contrary to our logical thinking, we ended up right where He wanted us and in the center of His highest will. Even though so much that happened was contrary to our natural expectations, we learned valuable lessons and the Lord finally did get all of us to India.

We had thought to just sell the van and keep the trailer in case things would not work out for us in India, so that we would have a “house” to come back to. But when we asked the Lord about it, He told us to sell all that we had to buy the pearl of a great price and trust Him with our future. Yikes! This was a big step, as our trailer was our dream house. We so enjoyed being mobile and our trailer was very comfy—everything we wanted. But we went ahead by faith, sawed off the limb, and put the trailer and van up for sale.

After quite some time, though, we still hadn't been able to sell either of them. We didn't understand why not, as both were in excellent shape and we were asking such a reasonable price for them. We didn't know if we were hearing from the Lord properly, but when we asked Him why this was happening, He told us that we needed to trust Him utterly for our finances, not lean on our own “things,” and that He wanted all the glory.

When the Lord originally told us to leave as soon as we could, we went ahead and booked our plane tickets some weeks in advance. The travel agent told us that if we didn't have our tickets paid by a certain date, we would lose our bookings and the next available flights would only be some time later. When we had only a few more days to get the funds for the tickets and we still hadn't sold the van or trailer, we got down on our faces again, seeking the Lord for His help and mercy. And the Lord brought someone along to buy the trailer the day before we needed to pay for the tickets! Wow!

But the battle was not over yet, as the man was offering much less than what we needed. We again asked the Lord if we should sell it for this lower price and He said yes. So although we were a bit disappointed, we went ahead and sold it. We thanked the Lord and praised Him for the miracle of selling the trailer, as it was actually the worst season for selling anything like this.

We still needed about $4000, though, for our tickets—not to mention our visa and landing funds. The travel agent was very understanding and gave us another week's grace to come up with the rest of the funds we needed. Praise the Lord!

All during this time we had communion and prayer and prophecy very often to get our hearts right with the Lord. We can see how all this was teaching us to be prepared for our new field. At times we felt forsaken and even out of the Lord's will, but every time we went to Him for answers and comfort, He never failed to answer our cries for help.

Again, we had only two more days to come up with the funds, and again, the day before we needed to pay, the Lord sent a buyer for the van! We didn't get what we wanted for the van either, but we asked the Lord about it and He encouraged us that He had other plans and would never fail us. He then raised up more of the funds we needed through sweet Family members, friends and relatives, and this encouraged us that He was also going to use these precious ones through our future mail ministry. Finally we were able to buy our tickets and pay for our visas, thank the Lord!

We had previously asked about getting a long-term visa, as we're part of the FCF umbrella program, and the embassy told us that all we needed was a letter from them and that we would get the two-year visa we were applying for. FCF wrote a beautiful letter and we went to the visa office with it, all excited, as it was only two weeks before our departure. It seemed it would be smooth sailing from there on out. When we got to speak to the person in charge of long-term visas, though, he told us it would be impossible. We were shattered! We explained how much we loved India and that we wanted to raise our family there and how we had inquired beforehand about getting the visa we wanted—but still he would not help us.

All I could do was just sit there with tears running down my face, silently look to the Lord, and ask Him to show us His love. It looked like we had reached the end of our rope, as our emotions, faith, and trust had been tested to the limit.

I left the office, went home, and we asked the Lord what to do next. He told us to apply for whatever visa we could get, and once we'd arrived in India, that He would open the door for us. He said that we didn't need to worry what man told us, but that if it was His will for us to be in India, He would keep us there. This was such a tremendous relief, as the Enemy was hitting us so hard with condemnation. The Lord's loving Words kept us hanging on.

The next day when we went to apply for our visas ,they told us that the three U.S. teens' visas would take longer. This was a few days before we were to leave.

To make matters even more desperate, the area we lived in had the worst snowfall it had had in the last 80 years, and it looked like no vehicles would be allowed on the roads! We had to get on our knees again and ask the Lord to clear the weather up so we could even get to the airport. And then on the last day before we left, when we were supposed to get the three teens' visas, they didn't come through. My, oh my! Only one of the teens could go with us.

When we asked the travel agent if she could change the teens' tickets for a later date, she told us that we might have to pay a 25% extra fee. We just couldn't believe all this was happening! When we prayed, the Lord told us to go ahead, claiming the land.

He then raised up a precious Home to take our three teens in while they waited for their visas, and the day we went to the airport to leave for India, the airlines said the teens would not have to pay the extra fee and that their tickets were booked just two weeks later. What a relief! We cried such big tears of joy and were so happy. We were especially thankful for the Lord's mercy despite our many blunders.

We finally got on the plane with our 22 pieces of luggage and 7 kids and Katrina. We arrived in India and our very precious brethren were there to meet us and bring us into their Home.

The Lord never failed to answer us! We made so many mistakes and it all seemed so contrary to what we expected, but in the Lord's own love, wisdom and mercy, He brought us through. Our three other teens arrived happily and safely after two weeks. They learned so much and the experience grew them up a lot, too.

The Lord has changed our lives drastically. Prayer and hearing from Him is so much more alive and a part of our lives now. We love you so much and pray this will encourage anyone who wants to go to the field —if the Lord could do it for our big family and teens, He can do it for anyone!

“Being Missionaries Healed Us

From Emman and Peace, Madagascar

This is the story of a family who got to the field by the skin of their teeth and against all odds. If we can make it, anybody can.

We have ten children, and after seven years on different fields, we spent eight years in Australia. During that time we felt ourselves deteriorating spiritually. Emman especially felt he was dying on the vine, as being French, he didn't like being in Australia. Worse yet, Peace was getting very comfortable with the easy life materially, and was slowly “becoming one” and developing System attitudes. We weren't living by faith, but were depending on our System benefits and a little witnessing.

Just before the Charter we became TSers. This gave us more freedom in some ways, as we were able to burn free more and stretch our faith. Straightaway we decided to go overseas. Our plan (which did get us there two years later after starting from scratch) was to constantly upgrade our vehicle, in order to use the money invested in it towards tickets and landing funds later. So instead of just saving flee funds, we put them into a vehicle. Because the funds never got spent as they were invested in this asset that we were using, we kept them even when we lost sight of the goal. And lose the vision we did, many times.

We became CM again soon after the Charter. Our time was then taken up trying to start a Home, with which we had a lot of problems. Then we had some major personal problems and a marriage breakdown, resulting in a three-month separation. At the same time, two of our three teens were getting sucked out of the Family by the System.

After the birth of our tenth child, we reunited. We decided to make a last-ditch effort to get to the field, or we felt we weren't going to last in the CM Family.

The team in Mauritius had been waiting for us for over a year. We had lived there ten years previously, and we had received confirming prophecies about returning, but Peace especially had a hard time having the faith to leave the comforts behind and live by faith. One encouraging quote we received said, “God says, `Launch out into the deep! Cast forth thy nets and I'll give you such a draft there'll not be room enough to hold it! I'll give you the biggest load you've ever had, when you were already about to sink without any load!'” (“Faith and Healing,” ML #M:27, Vol.1).

Also, our marriage was so shaky we didn't know how we'd manage in such an isolated field. Because of our problems and lack of faith we didn't even manage to get out and get supporters. We did have a large mailing list from outreach and follow-up over the years, though.

After we made our decision to just forsake all, do or die, things went very quickly. We tried to live by faith and save our social security payments. We sold everything including our (by then) two vans, and thus we got our tickets and landing funds. The speed in which we got off to the field after getting back together surprised the surrounding brethren. They're probably even more amazed that we're still here two years later!

The future was scary, but we tried not to think about it. Plus we could fall back on the thought that, “Well, even if we only last six months, it will be worth it.” Actually, after only one month on the field we felt our lives were already changed immeasurably.

The Lord was merciful and did not reveal His full plan to us, or we never would have left Australia in the first place. When we got to Mauritius, we were refused a visa. They wanted us to go back on the next plane. That was a bit daunting, after all we'd been through to get there. The Family managed to get us a one-month visa while we decided what to do.

The only real possibility was Madagascar; there was a sheep there that had started writing to the Mauritius Family. Emman had always had a burden for this large island that was as yet unreached by the Family.

It was a bigger challenge than anything we'd dreamed of. From what we'd heard, it was a pretty dangerous country and was infested with malaria. We didn't know how we'd survive there. Anything, however, was better than going back to Australia, so after receiving confirming prophecies, we set off to pioneer a whole new country.

What happened next is a whole story in itself, but suffice it to say that the Lord never failed us. We often didn't know where our support was going to come from, but the Lord always pulled us through. We didn't even have any school supplies, but the Lord raised up more than we needed through American missionaries home-schooling here.

Our marriage was the best it has ever been. Being missionaries healed us. The children are protected from the Western worldly influence, as there isn't any here! We have been incredibly fulfilled and challenged—more than we could have dreamed.

If fear of finances is holding you back from following where the Lord leads you, then don't give it another thought. God can't fail you. We had nothing to depend on except the Lord, and after two years here we are living better in many ways than we did in Australia. We have a better van and computer. We don't have many extras and the bare minimum of food, but that's good for us. I lost over 10 kilos I didn't need. If your weaknesses are holding you back, don't let that bother you either. If you're willing, the field will strengthen you.

What God Did for Our Large Family

From Julia (18), Myanmar (Burma)

Our family of 11, living in Malaysia at the time, had wanted to visit Canada for awhile, since it had been 18 years since my parents had last visited. The Lord showed us that a trip would be good, so we were trying to raise funds and get our plans together. But nothing seemed to be falling into place or working out, so we temporarily dropped our plans and jumped full-time into a big CTP project. Some of us in our Home were asked to help organize national games for the deaf, as we had helped two years earlier in the Asia/Pacific games for the deaf. Things went real well and it was a lot of fun meeting some of our friends from two years before!

At the same time as the CTP, our Home had to close down due to not being able to extend our visas, and everyone was moving on to new fields. In prayer at different times, my parents had gotten “Burma,” but you can't just take off to Burma. (Editor's note: Because of the delicate political situation and rather closed environment of Burma, Family members going there are advised to do so in counsel with the CROs of the area, as well as veteran Family members who know the ropes as far as visas, support, etc.)

To make a long story short, our family was busy packing and going to this CTP every day, when my dad and I went to Singapore to say good-bye to our monthly supporters and friends. While there, one of our friends, who had helped us before with a large donation towards our vehicle maintenance, told us that she and her friends had put their money together so we could get round-trip tickets from Malaysia to Canada for all of us! It was amazing to say the least!

It really showed us that when it's the Lord's will, He will definitely supply—no sweat! Just one visit and our tickets were paid for! Other friends also helped towards expenses of our trip.

Time was short, so we flew off to Canada, praying that the Lord would show us step by step what to do next. The Lord continued to provide for us while we were in Canada. A very sweet Family couple and their kids put us up for a while, too. God bless them! Thanks so much, Isaiah and Fé! We really appreciated it!

We weren't without our moments of doubt and worry, Lord help us, especially towards the end of our stay there. We hadn't heard anything conclusive about our visas and sponsorship. We didn't have nearly enough finances to set up in Burma either!

Arriving back in Malaysia, my dad and older brother again visited the dear lady who had helped us earlier. Upon hearing of our burden to go to Burma, she immediately offered to give a large donation to move us all there, set up house and everything!

We now have a thriving kindergarten in the morning, CTPs are starting, and the people are so sweet and friendly it's amazing! All we're missing is a little personnel, as it's still just us, minus two who are in other places. Things are moving and exciting, and the Lord has pulled us through all the way.

This whole experience has really increased our faith, to say the least! If the Lord can take a family of 11 halfway around the world and back, and then to another city where a Home has never been, then He can do anything for you too!

How Working Together Got Us to the Field

From James and Jenny, Simon and Trust, and Matt and Rose

God bless you! We love you so much! We would like to share how the Lord worked in our hearts and our Home to get us to the field.

It started back in the spring of 1997, when we were praying together about either staying in the States or moving to the field. The first indication of the Lord's leading came when our landlady informed us she was selling our house and we would have to move.

After praying and counseling, we moved to Connecticut (in the northeast U.S.) to live with Matt and Rose, who had a big house but were by themselves and could use the extra help of a bigger team. After we (James and Jenny, and Simon and Trust, plus kids) moved there, the Lord started bonding the three families together and giving us a vision. This vision was for our three families to work together and get ready to go to the field. Matt and Rose had the vision to go mobile and head south of the border, and the other four of us wanted to go East.

But before we were to go overseas, the Lord laid it on our hearts to move to Canada and set up a non-profit group which could send us overseas, as well as enable us to legally receive our child tax benefits while overseas. This would be quite a blessing in helping to support us while on the field.

Besides getting different prophecies about doing this, the Lord also gave us the Letter “A Tale of Two Families,” especially the following quote: “Whether you're a threesome or a foursome or a sixsome or whatever you are, try to get it together so you can work together and serve the Lord together, travel together, live together, go together, forsake-all together and cooperate together on the field until you get a good start, or whatever the Lord leads. PTL! GBY! But do try to get that home support, because you're going to need it and you're certainly going to be thankful for it when you get there!” (ML #1056:92)

He also told us we would be like three boats going down a river as one boat. As these three boats got closer and closer to the ocean, they would slowly break apart, and once they reached the ocean they would each shove off to a different destination for Him. But the key to making it down the river would be their unity, working together hand in hand, and taking care of each other. So being armed with prayer, the Word, and prophecy, we proceeded with this plan.

“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord!”(Psa.37:23

Over the next seven months the Lord miraculously did all that He had promised us. The first step was closing up our Home in the States and moving all of us to Canada. In Canada the Lord provided three townhouses all together in the same building, where we were able to work together as one Home for six months. From this point the Lord helped us to set up a non-profit Christian organization, get our tax benefits setup, get clearance to the different fields we wanted to go to, raise the funds we needed to go, and get ready to leave.

Setting up our non-profit organization

To set up a non-profit organization in Canada, first of all we studied all the laws about how to do it. Once this was done, we filled out the forms and provisioned a lawyer to look them over. This was all done in French, and this lawyer suggested we do it for all of Canada and not just Quebec, so we did. This led us to a different lawyer, whom the Lord had told us about in prophecy, and he helped us do the paperwork needed. Six weeks later we were set up as a non-profit group.

God loves us and He can do it

When we sat down to write this, we thought of the many, many miracles the Lord did—from supplying needs to giving us nice housing, helping our legal paperwork to come through, etc. But we felt the biggest miracle and the one that has brought us the most happiness and satisfaction is that we did it as a family, as a team, working together, helping, caring for and loving one another.

We found that by working together, even if it meant moving 30 of us from one country to another, we received the Lord's blessing. It was a big step and we had our share of trials and battles, but they were actually quite minimal compared to the joys we experienced together. We could have tried to do it on our own but it was so much more rewarding and inspiring doing it as one family. Thank You Jesus! We will miss each other very much, and parting ways is difficult because of the close friendships we have bonded over the months and years of being together.

We heartily agree with every word that has been shared in the Word about love and unity, and truly believe it. As this quote so clearly states: “Let's give to our brethren as much as possible of our time, talents, and material goods. Let's share what we have with those who have need, so all will have enough. Let's love others' children as our own, and do all we can to help to train all the children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Let's follow closely the principles of One Wife and Acts 2:44 and 45 that the Family was founded on” (“Goals for 1998,” ML #3160:254, Vol.24).

We really love you, our dear Family, and wouldn't trade our place in the Family for anything in the world. We miss all of our Family in North America where we labored for the previous years. If you ever do pass our way, please know you always have a place to lay your head.

Much, much love and prayers,

James, Jenny, Simon, Trust, Matt, Rose, and 20-some kiddos

P.S. Final goal—the field

Note from Chloe, FSM editor: Here's some info on the outcome of this team, gleaned from TRF Comments and Suggestions: James and Jenny left for China. Simon and Trust made it safely to the Philippines, and after that to China. Matt and Rose took off on the road for lands south of the border. Matt wrote the following: “When we were moving, many of the neighbors came to us, some in tears, thanking us for coming, and telling us how much of an impact we had on their lives just by being there. Everyone knew that we worked as a team with James and Jenny and Simon and Trust, and although we lived in separate apartments, they knew we had a love and unity that to us is normal, but to them was extraordinary and amazing. It shows how much of a testimony our `normal' Family way of life is.”

Miracles Large and Small

From Paul and Crystal (now in the Philippines)

Just before the riots in Indonesia in May of `98, the Lord laid on our hearts the desire to move from there and pioneer a new Home. Both Crystal and I have been childcare workers for most of our time in the Family and therefore to take such a step was kind of scary—and exciting at the same time!

We had wanted to open a new Home upcountry in the provinces, and had sent in a want ad to see if other brethren wanted to join us. The riots then happened suddenly and we asked the Lord if He still wanted us to move on. He answered by saying that we should look for the open doors. He led us to lay out a fleece that if our only friend in Singapore welcomed our coming there, we would leave Indonesia and find a new mission field by going there first.

So we called him and explained that we wanted to move on and that we didn't know yet which direction we would go. He said right away to come to Singapore, and that he'd take care of us and our needs while we were there. Following is the exciting account of the many miracles the Lord did over the next few months, as we got on our way to our new Home in the Philippines.

Our departure in the midst of civil turmoil

Because of the unrest of those days in Indonesia, most banks, shops and offices (including travel agents) were open just a few hours a day. No airline tickets were available through travel agents. All flights were fully booked and various countries had already airlifted their citizens out during the days before our departure. The only suggestion that the travel agent was able to give us was to go to the airport and buy our ticket directly from the airline at the counter.

So with kids, bags, and a desperate prayer, we went to the airport. It was an incredible scene there, with thousands of people trying to leave the country. Some folks had already been staying at the airport for a few days, spending the night in the corridors. There were so many people that it was difficult to even move from place to place with six children and our luggage.

We needed a miracle, as we didn't know where to get the tickets, but the Lord led us to the right counter. We were able to get tickets for all of us, but then there was no confirmation that we indeed had seats. Everything was fully booked and we were at the end of a very long standby list. We were in desperate prayer most of the time, and the Home, too, was praying for us. A few hours later they called out the names of those who could board and by another miracle, our names were called and we were able to board the plane. Praise the Lord!

Off to Singapore!

Singapore is very strict in many ways, and there are thousands of regulations about everything you can imagine. For example, taxis are only allowed to carry a certain amount of passengers and we (with our total of eight people) were way over the limit. There was no way we would be allowed in just one normal-sized taxi. However, when we arrived around 1 a.m., the Lord in His prevision sent along a London taxi, as they are called. These London taxis are much larger than the usual ones and can carry a large amount of luggage as well—just what we needed. At this time of night these taxis are usually out of service, but the Lord worked it out for one to still be running and we were off to our hotel. Thank You Jesus!

The next morning our friend in Singapore, Cheh, visited us in our hotel room and after a short time where we shared all that the Lord had done for us in the previous few days, he gave us a good donation to help us in our stay there.

To explain our situation, Singapore is a closed country and the only witnessing there, at least for the time being, is personal witnessing or follow-up. Having only one friend to follow up on, we needed Cheh's help very much.

The right house for us and our ministry

After only a few days in the hotel room, the children were getting a little restless and were coming down with colds. The hotel room was very small and wasn't the best thing for all of us.

When we mentioned to our friend that the children were getting sick and we needed more space for them, he called a couple of his friends, explained our need, and got a lot of positive responses. Quite a few folks offered to help us with housing. We now had to choose which place we wanted to be in. Cheh advised me to take a house that a friend of his owns. The house, although unfurnished, was in a very good neighborhood and had all the facilities we needed, a big yard for the children to have their get-out, and a good location as well. We got a good check about the place and the next day we all moved in there.

This house was for rent and we agreed with the landlord that if anybody wanted to rent the house, we would move out. This house was God's setup for us, as through it we were able to meet quite a few people who afterwards turned out to be very potential. Some pledged to help us on the field.

After only a few days at the house, our friend Cheh and other new friends soon offered us most of our needs in order to help us operate better. We were given a hand-held phone, an oven toaster, hot-water thermos, TV, extra mattresses, chairs, table, etc. The children were given lots of good-quality toys and books. Neither of us have a driver's license, and therefore had to turn down the offer of a car during our stay there.

With this nearly perfect setup we were able to cook most of our meals at home, and once a week we would provision a nice meal from a sweet friend who really liked our work. From time to time also, we were invited to dine out with some of our newfound friends.

In Singapore, birth control policies have resulted in just about every family having only one child, or two at the most, so our six children were surely an attraction whenever they were playing in the yard. Some passers-by would ask us curiously about them.

Special witnessing opportunities

Cheh introduced us to some of his friends and asked us to witness to them. Cheh was encouraged by our witness, which gave him the faith to want to witness more often; eventually he did so by himself too, once we were gone. We had various Bible classes with him, majoring on the Endtime and witnessing. By the end of our trip he was completely won over and pledged to help us regularly wherever we are. Praise the Lord!

J. and P. were the former tenants of the house we were staying in; they had moved out just the month before. They came to check with us if they had any mail that was still being delivered there, and one time after collecting their mail they gave us a donation. The Lord had told them to give us a little love gift, for which we were very grateful. They said: “This is for the children, whatever their needs are.”

J. and P. came to visit us regularly and became good friends. We were able to share more about God's love and had some counseling sessions with them. We used some Christian Digest articles to give them some good advice about their teen boy.

Our church ministry

Another friend is a sincere Christian, trying to serve the Lord the best he can in the Anglican Church. He invited me to come along for a Sunday church service. After praying and hearing from the Lord about this, we had perfect peace about going. His wife was quite skeptical about us, but after we attended his church for a few weeks, his wife became friendlier. From then on every Sunday after the service, they would all come to our house and bring lunch for us.

Most of the folks that we had contact with or that we were introduced to had some kind of church link. Most of them belong to Protestant churches. The first family that we were introduced to belongs to a Baptist denomination; another group that visited us belonged to the Presbyterian Church. All these newfound friends turned out to be very instrumental in helping us raise our funds for our new mission field, as well as committing themselves to help us in the future.

Due to the fact that we have six young children, we weren't able to get around that much. This also turned out to be good for us, as most people would come to us and therefore we had no interactions with the actual churches there.

Hearing from the Lord about a needed surgery

During this time I, Paul, was feeling very uncomfortable due to a hernia which I had developed during the past year. While in Singapore it got to the point that I couldn't walk much without pain and I had to sit down for awhile from time to time. We prayed and counseled about what to do and the Lord led us to a helpful doctor, who confirmed that my hernia was at an advanced stage, and that I'd need surgery.

The Lord confirmed through prophecy that we should go ahead with the surgery and that He'd supply all the needed funds. The hospital bill was about S$7000 ($4,065 US) and He supplied everything and more in just a couple of days. Praise the Lord! The week of my recovery following the surgery, P.'s parents brought lunch and dinner daily, which was such a blessing.

The lost Lego and the found wallet

My seven-year-old boy, John Mark, had just found a piece of Lego that had been missing for a few weeks. He wanted to surprise his brothers and so he kept the little Lego piece in his pocket. That day John Mark went out to check the mail with me, and on the way there he lost the Lego piece. He was heartbroken. He could no longer show his brothers the missing Lego that he had found. We prayed and asked the Lord to comfort John Mark, and that He would let someone else who really needed that Lego piece find it and enjoy it.

Not long after our prayer, we were on our way home on the city bus. A lady behind us said that there was a wallet under my seat and that perhaps we had dropped it. When I looked inside, there was some cash, some telephone cards, and a library card. The name of the owner was on the library card, but there was no address. We called the library and they traced the owner: a young student. We got in touch with her and she came and collected the wallet the next day.

We took time to witness to her and gave her a tract. About twenty minutes later she returned with a gift for John Mark. It was a very nice Lego set to build a motorbike. John Mark was thrilled to see how the Lord took his little Lego piece away and now was giving him something much bigger and nicer to play with. Praise the Lord!

Using the children in our witnessing

We prepared a short program with the children, including some songs and a skit, and whenever we had visitors over we would let the children shine. This was a real heart-winner, the children did very well, and through this many friends were won. The children were very inspired to be doing something for the Lord and people commented positively about them, which was very encouraging for us. It was a wonderful experience to have the children involved with every aspect of ministering to others.

Witnessing to our landlord

Mr. N. was the owner of the house we stayed in. For the first two months we didn't meet him and only talked occasionally on the phone. However,during the last part of our stay, he came over. We were able to witness to him, the children sang for him, and he seemed grateful for us. A few days before our departure, he wanted to take us out for dinner. On the way to the restaurant I was able to talk to him more, and he opened his heart to me about his problems and burdens. He had been disappointed by the church system and how critical they are of other religious groups. He basically told me he didn't want to be part of any group or denomination.

I was able to share my personal testimony and how the Lord led me to the Family, and I was also able to encourage him and answer many of his questions. Before leaving, we gave him a little plaque with a Bible verse on it and prayed for him. Mr. N. is well known for not being a generous or giving person, but the Lord really touched his heart through our encounter with him. The next morning his wife came over and handed us an envelope with a very generous gift and a beautiful letter showing how the Lord was working in their lives. This was surely unexpected, as they were already helping by letting us stay in the house. Praise the Lord!

Although many people came to look at the house and were interested in it, only when we were ready to leave did the Lord lay it on someone's heart to rent the house.

Raja the garbage man

Every morning when the garbage truck would collect the garbage from our street, our children waved enthusiastically at the garbage men. One of the men was obviously touched by them. Two days before we left, the children gave him a card thanking him for collecting the garbage, and telling him that Jesus loves him. It was a real surprise the next morning when Raja handed the children a gift and a very sweet and touching thank-you note for them. He was so grateful for our children's smiles and said he would miss them once we were gone. We took his address and are now communicating by mail.

The watch

During our stay in Singapore we were able to buy a watch for Crystal for only a few dollars. After a couple of weeks, a sister visited us from Indonesia. She was to stay only a day, just to renew her visa and go right back. When we found out that she had no watch, Crystal right away gave her watch to this sister. Two days before we left Singapore, a sweet Christian lady who visited us noticed that Crystal had no watch, and when she was on her way out she said that the Lord had told her to give Crystal her own watch. You sure never lose by giving.

The gas bottle miracle

When we moved into the house, there was a gas bottle that had been left by the last tenants. We were very thankful for it, as we needed it to cook our own meals. We thought that the gas would run out soon, as it was probably used by the former tenants. To confirm this, a week later the gas company came, wanting to replace the gas bottle with a new one. We told them that there was still some gas and we would give them a call as soon as it ran out. Well, the gas never ran out for our entire stay there and we cooked quite a few meals. The gas company kept coming and we kept telling them that we still had gas! On one occasion the company checked our gas and said that perhaps we would have enough for a few more days, but it actually lasted two more months.

The Lord did a miracle similar to the one of the cruse of oil and the pot of flour; our gas bottle never ran empty. (See 1 Kings 17:10-16.) The day we left I checked the gas pilot light and it was still burning. We shared this testimony with some of our closer friends and with the former tenants, and it was a real inspiration for them. Praise the Lord!

God's delays are not denials

Our stay in Singapore was meant to be only a short one, perhaps two weeks, but the Lord had other plans for us and we ended up staying much longer than we planned. Initially we were getting impatient and wanted to know if our clearance to the Philippines was accepted. But the Lord wanted us to stay longer. Thanks to His prevision, our longer stay turned out to be a real blessing. We thanked the Lord for the extra time that we were able to stay there; it was during this time that we strengthened our friends and had some solid commitments from some of them, who promised regular support and also supplied all of our landing funds and needs.

Step by Step!

From Amos, Faith, Paula, Mia, and Ivy (Becky) in Australia

Hi! This is a rundown on all that has taken place since our troop of two adults, three senior teens, and eight kids (ages 13, 11, 10, 8, 6, 4, 2, and 10 months) decided to go to the field.

We had been praying and asking the Lord for a year about leaving the States, but we hadn't received clear direction yet. During that time we were saving all our pennies just in case. We did research about visas and conditions in various countries, and then an article in the Grapevine mentioned the Philippines, which has a good visa situation and is English speaking. We asked the Lord about it and got the go-ahead! This was the end of May `98.

After a couple months of closing down one Home and moving into another, we went on an all-out fund-raising blitz. We already had about $9,000 saved up, and by a miracle in only three months' time we had reached our goal of raising another $11,000 for the field!

We also read in Grapevine 26 that Aussie citizens can get monthly family allowance payments overseas. One minor detail, though, was that we had to make a slight detour through Australia to obtain this support.

On November 17, the day of our departure, it took our van two trips to get our 13 people and 40 pieces of luggage to the airport—26 pieces of which were at their maximum capacity and weight. We were, to say the least, quite the scene!

After going from San Antonio to Phoenix, to Los Angeles, and waiting at the L.A. airport for four long, starving, child-screaming, tiring hours in the middle of the night, we were informed that half of us weren't booked any further than L.A! It eventually got worked out so that there were enough seats for all of us on the main flight to Sydney, Australia. Though we are champion swimmers, we didn't exactly cherish the thought of swimming the Pacific Ocean in the middle of the night.

In Sydney, lo and behold, for our next leg of the journey we weren't booked again! But amazingly, there were exactly the right amount of seats for us to get to Brisbane, and even in first class! After unloading our luggage for the third time during our travels (by this time our triceps and biceps were thoroughly pumped), we had finally arrived!

We were only planning on staying in Australia for a few weeks, but it turned out there were no seats available on flights from here to the Philippines till February, which meant a two-and-a-half month wait. It was quite an unexpected setback, but we knew the Lord had His way in it all. There was a very nice, empty house for rent right next door to the Home here. The owner had turned away quite a number of applicants already, so we were a little nervous and doubtful that we'd be able to rent it. It seemed the Lord must've kept it empty just for us, though, as our application was immediately accepted.

A local charity donated all the household goods and furniture that we needed, and we're eligible for government aid, which helped pay for all our expenses and more. So we've actually gained more financially than we've lost by coming here. Praise the Lord! As this is being written in January of `99, February 18 we make the last leg of our journey on to the Philippines.

We want to give the Lord the credit for how amazingly He supplied everything we've needed since we decided to move to the field. We hope this is an encouragement to all those praying about leaving for the field, especially any big families like ours. “God is not limited by many or by few.” We love you. Bye!

From a Single Mom Who Went to the Field by Faith

By an SGA mom, now in Kazakhstan

First here's the happy ending: I'm an SGA single mother with three young children and we made it to the exciting field of Kazakhstan, where anything is possible with enough prayer power, teamwork, and initiative. Thank the Lord!

The sad beginning: I was a discouraged mother of two small children, in a failing marriage, and PG with number three. I lost my sweet helper (Nyna of Peace Jubilee) who up to that point had been my ray of hope. We had promised her and her mom we'd all get to the field within a few months, so as long as she was there I thought we would actually make it. She took excellent care of my kids, so I didn't worry about them while fundraising.

After she left and my mate quit his job, I found myself working at two jobs (7 a.m. till 11 p.m.) on weekdays, clowning on weekends, and getting nowhere except exhausted. We had set goals such as having $1,000 of home support before leaving. God bless our parents, who encouraged us to go ahead by faith and trust the Lord.

To make a long story short, my mate and I decided to separate and I kept the kids. Thank the Lord, He sent along a sweet guy who was willing to sacrifice his own personal plans, time, and freedom to help me and my kids get into a better situation. I would have never made it without his help. He taught me to drive at midnight after fundraising all day, helped me get my car and license, and spent time with my kids. He took care of me when I was sick and showed a great measure of sacrificial love.

(By the way, any of you guys who are worried about helping a single mom for fear it may mean a lifetime commitment, if you agree beforehand it's short-term it can be lots of fun and everyone can benefit from it.) After awhile he started calling me his temporary wife. It was just like a marriage, except it wasn't “till death do us part.” Of course, you should pray and hear from the Lord about doing something like this, which I did. Later I was able to hold onto the promises the Lord had given, when we had to split up and go our separate ways.

Well, I can't take the credit for having the faith to get to the field; it was a matter of life and death. It got to the point where I knew that if I didn't make it to the field before my baby's birth, I would end up out of the Family and trapped in the System, as I couldn't find a Home with room for us. It was discouraging at the time, but I'm thankful now, as it was the kick I needed to help me step out on a limb where the Lord caught me.

I had to get to the point where I was willing to face my fear of getting stuck with Mom and Dad for the rest of my days. God bless my parents, and also Tim and Tab in Turkey. They had just barely opened their own Home, were in the midst of major repairs, building a Home and work, yet they took me in. They knew I was PG, but they didn't realize just how PG I was.

God bless them and the teens in their Home, as they all were so sweet and helpful. No one made me feel like a burden and the Home was a real sample of “One Wife,” with everyone feeling responsible for the kids and treating them as if they were their own, especially when I was out having the baby.

I had wanted to go somewhere in the former Soviet Union, but figured that since I had no home support, three little tikes, and no man in my life, it was probably out of the question. I kept praying about it and wanted to go to several different places. I responded to several want ads, placed a few, and decided it would take a miracle to get a response. Well, the miracle started when the Almaty Home answered me.

It was a long series of miracles that brought us here, and they haven't stopped yet. The Lord is opening so many doors and taking care of us. He truly is the best Husband I've ever had! Ha!

To encourage those who would like to have home support but don't, I'd like to share how the Lord has raised up “home supporters” while here on the field. We recently met a foreign businessman and have become friends with him. He is now promoting us to folks back home, passing on our newsletters to people, and to a church that never met us personally. Recently one of them helped with quite a large donation when we quickly (in one week) had to come up with the rent for our apartment for a whole year in advance. With their donation and several of our long-term kings helping with extra, the Lord helped us raise what we needed right on time. It was one of those impossible situations that enable the Lord to do miracles. Thank the Lord!

Audacious Faith in His Promises!

From a single mom, Mercy, in São Paulo, Brazil

One more time, I can testify how wonderful and everlasting are His mercies! It all began with a deep desire to pioneer a Home that could benefit the area through provisioning, and help the Homes economize by supplying expensive appliances, etc.

After I sought counsel from my shepherds and asked for confirmation through prayer, some brethren received beautiful prophecies that confirmed it was His will for me to go ahead with this idea. It was a real step of faith, as I didn't have a team formed yet, or a place, or finances—besides being a single mom. It took blind faith to start from scratch, only believing His prophecies and taking Him at His Word!

As I took steps of faith, the Lord started opening doors. He supplied a place for me to stay temporarily. Although I didn't have one cent to invest, the Lord began to pour out His blessings. All of a sudden a contact I knew donated 100 cans of milk, along with other food supplies. Another contact helped me with two nice sets of dining room tables, bunk beds and mattresses, and another contact supplied a large quantity of very expensive paint which helped the whole area. Vegetables, fruits, and meat were supplied in such abundance that I could share some with another Home!

I was still alone, with one of my teen boys helping my two younger daughters and me. The Lord began to supply the personnel, but the team was contrary to my expectations. The Home was meant to be a provisioning Home for the area, and the ones who came and had the faith to pioneer this Home were also single moms! “Wait a minute!” I thought. “How are we going to make it this way?” But little did I know what the Lord had up His sleeve, as He's not limited by circumstances or by single moms. He proved to us how He could take care of His Own and be our wonderful Husband!

The place where we were was temporary, and after six months of looking for a new location, another miracle happened! Just as I was about to give up on the idea on finding a new house, I found one that I had lived in seven years before with my ex-husband. It had been the first SC in this country. I put out a fleece that if it was His will, He would open the door for me to rent that house for half of what they were asking, and that the owner would remember us, even though I had never met him in person.

So when the agent from the real estate agency talked to the owner about me and explained who we were, he immediately accepted my offer! He told the agent that he had good memories from when we had rented his house before. And this was not all! I didn't have any way to prove my income, nor did I have all the papers from my signer, no bank account, and no credit cards—just my word that we would be able to pay our bills. And the owner signed the contract before I had all the papers required!

Six long months of looking for this house, with no car to go around this large city, and in less than a week we had the contract signed and were installed in our new house! The house itself was a miracle!—A good location, right in the city, with a pool, yard, enough rooms for all of us, and a nice park a few blocks away!

The Lord continued supplying more than we expected, providing every basic need! He gave us brand new appliances—the most modern on the market! The house got nicely decorated with matching furniture, curtains, plants and flowers to give a cozy, homey touch. When the brethren began to visit us, some of them commented to us that they were expecting the single moms' Home to be in poor condition. They were impressed at our standard, and at how miraculously the Lord had supplied for us! When we are weak, He's strong!

I'm so thankful for all these miracles. I feel privileged for having had this experience of faith, prayer, and lots of fight in the Spirit, as the Enemy is like a roaring lion. “But greater is He that is in us, than he that is in the world!” He never fails! Little by little we have been able to help the area with some provisionments and more appliances for some Homes. So nothing is impossible to him that believeth! It has been a real answer to prayer.

Love, Mercy

P.S. I pray for all of you single moms, for the Lord to give you the desires of your hearts and that He can mightily use you!

A mistake? … Or the Lord's setup?

From Faithy (SGA), Kazakhstan

About a week after I got here, Peter and I were delivering a request letter when we decided to visit some of the other offices in the same building. We were in the elevator when suddenly it began rapidly descending.

“Oh no!” Peter exclaimed. “I don't want to go down,” and he pressed the stop button. I was so embarrassed when the elevator opened right into the reception area of a large floor of very nice offices. Right away the receptionist asked who we needed. Peter asked to talk with the boss, and as she left to find him I quickly began scanning the office to find out what kind of place it was. I soon discovered from the plaques on the walls that it was a foreign law firm. I quietly informed Peter of this and he got a bit worried.

“Lawyers, uh-oh!” It was kind of a funny situation. What do you ask a law firm for? They ushered us into a very nice conference room and we were informed that Mr. L. would be with us shortly. We ended up waiting for over half an hour, and though we were tempted to leave several times and we worried about wasting time, the Lord inspired us to take some prayer and praise time and wait.

Finally he arrived. We had agreed that Peter would explain the work and ask him if they could help sponsor us. I would sort of be the “translator” since Peter's first language isn't English. Well, the timing was perfect. L., who had wanted to be a missionary to Tibet when he was young, had been trying to teach his staff about “charity work” and helping others. They have different programs supported by the company and a few of their own. They had been supporting a local artist for over a year and now that he had gotten on his feet, they were looking for a new program to help. We came just in time for their staff meeting to decide on their charity for the new quarter.

We had several programs coming up, so they were able to see us in action, and they chose us as their charity. We have found L. to be a kindred spirit, as he really has a heart for the lost and the needy. Our contact with him helped us put solid landing gear onto a new CTP project that the Lord had laid on our hearts.

We needed to send L. a letter of request, and the Lord showed us the specific amount to ask for. Of course we were asking for it monthly, but they give it out quarterly. When the Lord originally showed us to ask for $500, it seemed like a large amount, the largest we've received on a regular basis. However, it turned out to be the exact amount they had budgeted for this year.

The whole thing has been just one more proof that it pays to hear from Jesus step by step and follow what He tells us to do. After all, He's the One Who knows everything.

The Lord leads through a little child

From Matt and Joy, U.S.A.

It was late one Saturday night. We'd had a long day of postering, were far from home, and the children especially were very hungry. We tried provisioning dinner at eight or nine different restaurants—all to no avail.

At this point we stopped to encourage the children about how the Lord has never failed us, and that we needed to keep praising Him no matter what was happening. So we had a short praise time and then prayed together about where the Lord wanted us to go.

Our youngest, Amie, five years old, said that the Lord told her that we should go to a certain restaurant. Our JETT son then shared that he had received the verses: “A little child shall lead them,” and “God hath chosen the foolish things of this world to confound the wise.” I, Joy, interpreted that as meaning that the Lord wanted me to do the asking, ha!

So I went to present our request at the counter of the fast food restaurant. I was on one side of the counter, flanked by six of our children, including Amie. One the other side of the counter was the manager, who said “No!” He was flanked by about five of his employees, all very interested in our conversation. I mentioned to the manager that we had all prayed before coming and that the Lord had told little Amie to come to his restaurant. Again the manager said he couldn't help.

Then one of the employees waved me over privately by the door to tell me something. Just as he started talking, another young male employee, about 18 years old, walked over and handed me a $20 bill! God bless him! He had just started working there and probably didn't have a whole lot of money! The first employee proceeded to tell me that his girlfriend managed another restaurant across the street, and that if we went over there and told her that he had sent us, she would help for sure. He also said he would call and tell her that we were coming.

When we talked to her, he hadn't called yet, but she still went ahead and said that all eight of us could have anything we wanted to eat! Praise God! He never fails!

Friends Forever

The reason for striking out into unknown territory, and trusting the Lord to care for us wherever we are, is so that we can find those precious ones who won't get to know Jesus and His Word unless we reach them. Here are just a few stories about those touched by our witness.

From Ruby, Moldova

While out witnessing, we met a 16-year-old girl, Caroline, who was very interested in our lit and invited us to visit her. When we arrived at her apartment a few days later, our little sheep was not at home. Her mother was there, though, and was very interested in having us witness to a friend of hers who was visiting, which we did.

The mother then told us how she began to believe in God (she was a Seventh-day Adventist). She had wanted to have children, but had great difficulties in her pregnancies. A number of times she had miscarriages around four months into the pregnancy. After the last miscarriage, on her way back from the hospital, her husband said things to her about having children that hurt her deeply. So she went into her room and cried, “If there is a God, please give me a child!” Nine months later she gave birth to a boy, and two years later she had a girl!

Twelve years after the girl was born, she became pregnant again. She had to fight for this last child, because her husband told her, “Get rid of it.” She refused to abort the baby, and her husband left her.

After we had talked for a while and shared testimonies, the first woman told us, “You can take my two oldest children to work for God. I'll keep the youngest one.”

We had a beautiful time together. Both this woman and her friend are music teachers, so they enjoyed singing songs with us. Her friend told us, “We know how to sing, but you sing with your heart, and we can really feel that.”

We have been following up on this family now and I'm getting very close to the mother. She really appreciates our lit. One day I read “Stop! Look! Listen!” with her and she told me it was exactly what she needed at the time. We've also discussed different points of doctrine, like the Sabbath and church. Afterwards she told me, “I don't fully understand everything you've told me, but I feel like I love you as a little sister. I feel I can trust you because you are sincere.” I have many things in common with this woman, and the Lord has used this to give me a special love for her. We both believe that God planned our meeting.

From Markus, Thailand

I had a very beautiful witnessing experience one day while coming home on the bus. Usually this bus is very crowded and it's hard to find a seat, but the Lord supplied a seat next to a blind man. I really felt like talking to him, but didn't know how to start, when he suddenly turned to me and gave me some money to pay his ticket, saying that he was blind. This opened up an opportunity to have a conversation with him and witness to him. He shared about his life and that he comes from a poor family and had been living with his brothers and sisters who take care of him. At a certain point he didn't feel like being a burden on them any more, so he decided to come to the city to support himself. At an institution he learned how to read Braille and got some education. He finally decided to sell lottery tickets. He said sometimes he's out till two or three in the morning near nightclubs and other night spots. He was a real fighter—sweet and broken. When I started witnessing to him about the Lord he was very open and gladly received Jesus into his heart. Thank You Lord!

From Rose Pioneer (FGA), Ecuador

What Mama said about the value of the tracts in the GN “Instant Witnessing” (ML #3137, Vol.24) has clearly been fulfilled in our outreach! I'll list some brief testimonies concerning the distribution of the tracts.

At a ten-day long exposition, although the distribution of tools was not as we had hoped, there have been good reactions to our witnessing there and to the tracts. A young man who passed by our stand and was given a tract had a real cold attitude about it. A while later, he passed by again with tears in his eyes, asking, “Where did you get those words? They're so beautiful!”

A neighbor received a tract and I was a bit hurt to see her stuff it hurriedly into her pocket like a piece of tissue. However, another day as I was entering a store she was there, greeted me, and excitedly told the owner of the store about reading the tract. One evening she had been feeling a bit nervous and anxious, and when she put her hand into her pocket she pulled out the tract. She was transformed by the words. “It spoke straight to my heart,” she said. The shop owner immediately asked me for a tract and later told me how beautiful it was!

At another expo, an elderly worker passed by our stand and I gave him a tract. He came back a while later and asked for more to give to his friends. He began to fumble through a myriad of papers in his wallet in search for a piece of paper he wanted to show me. Finally, he handed me a well-worn, Scotch-taped section of the salvation prayer from a poster he'd received years ago. “This prayer is beautiful,” he said. “I've kept it with me for years!”

As a result of the reactions to this tract, I'm sold on my job as a papergirl.

“To Be Answered, to Be Cared For, to Be Forgiven …”

From Tunisian Catherine, in the Mideast

We were referred to R. by one of our friends when we were looking for Arabic singers for Fantastic Friends, and she came to sing with us. R., whose parents are well-known in the circle of writers and academics, always seemed to be the skeptical, intellectual type, very aloof. All of us tried to be a witness to her in different ways during recording sessions. We all felt she was a very deep person, a rebel type, but you could always feel there was a struggle going on inside her. We remained in contact with her, since we really liked her voice and we also had a burden for her.

It had been difficult to get ahold of her. However recently we needed her help, so we sent her a fax with the songs and a little quote at the end. We found out later that her fax machine wasn't working properly and the only thing she could read from the fax was “God takes His time.”

She came by surprise one day and somehow looked different. She said she had come to pick up the songs, but she lingered, which is not her custom. I was praying for the Lord to somehow lead and guide me, because she started sharing her heart with me. First, she said she felt like she had gotten a fax from God. There were no words, except the last line, “God takes His time.” She said that gave her great hope to hold on, as she had been going through it.

She also surprised me by saying that since meeting us, God had become alive to her, that truly God is love, that the Koran came alive for her, and that she saw there are people that do reflect Him. At the end of our conversation, she asked me to pray for her and to see what I “get.”

The next day at the studio R.'s first question was, “So what did you get for me?” I explained to her about prophecy and gave her the Words the Lord had given me for her. Right then she wanted to go home to read them. I also gave her some classes on “Connecting” (hearing from the Lord).

I called her the following day and she said she read the classes and the prophecy thousands of times. She said she had written me a letter (see the letter below). I then witnessed to her in a gentle way. She didn't mind hearing it, but I think the struggle with some intellectuals is that they feel if they become Christian, they forsake their Arab identity and they're like a traitor to the cause. I had similar trials in the past, as I didn't want to become a “westerner” and adopt their “faith.”

It was a fight, but she was so desperate to know the way. I explained about Jesus' Spirit giving us assurance and peace, how it's something in the heart. I also told her what the Lord told me before she came—how He was standing at the door knocking gently and if she opens, He'll come in and His Spirit will be with her forever. She wanted to know how to do that, so I told her about the prayer, how she could say it out loud or in her heart or she could hear it and try it on her own. I prayed, while she listened. Thank the Lord for such a wonderful victory. Following are excerpts of the letter she wrote.

Dear Catherine,

It's such pleasure and a feeling of safety talking to believers. I'm sure it was God's will that we, out of nowhere, knew each other. The first minute I met the Family I knew that you were believers in God. It was written all over you, and the truth is I got so scared…so scared! I kept saying to myself, “You are only singing with them, that doesn't mean anything.” Many times I tried to quit, as you've noticed.

I was so afraid to come to terms with belief. But the things you have sent and given me to read made me think a lot; they have made a lot of ice melt inside (sorry for my weak expressions!). But the Family was always in my mind, although we didn't contact each other for a long time.

In other words, I've been putting aside my ego to fill its place with God. I have begged God to show me the way. I have cried, screamed, sobbed, and thought that God didn't listen to me. I was about to lose hope, when you sent me the fax that said, “God takes His time.” Then I relaxed a little bit. I felt there is a little hope. But I was still in denial, feeling that God didn't love me, that my life is a series of miseries, that I will never feel or be good.

When I had a talk with you, Catherine, at your house, I felt better. I became less scared and afraid. But the crowning event of all was receiving the papers you gave me, especially the blue paper [the prophecy]. It's such a fantastic incident, you know why? Because I had written God a letter and told Him that I wanted to talk to Him, to understand more, and to feel relaxed and calm inside. I never thought or dreamed of getting a letter back from God! It fills my eyes with tears to be answered, to be cared for, to be forgiven and given a chance. I have prayed and God has answered my prayer. That makes me feel so calm, safe, and looked after. I no more feel alone or lost. I feel that God is taking my hand, introducing me to the light.

For years I've been asking myself: “Where is the light?” and now I feel I know where the light is. Did you know that the fax you sent me once with the meaning of “worry” and the stories about God taking care of everything came at a time when I was highly tensed and worried? All the time I thought God was far away, when He was sending message after message.

Catherine, you give me a sense of safety and love that keeps me warm like a baby in the cradle. When I meet with you, I don't feel tense. I don't feel that I have to be someone else to please others.

I thank you for calling me and asking me to sing with you. This has changed my life in so many ways. I know I'm not the nicest person, but I have learnt and felt so much being around you: the way members of the Family talk to each other and to people, the relaxed atmosphere, the aura around you, the giving that I've witnessed.

For a long time I wanted to write a letter like this to someone, to say what's in my heart without fear of judgment. And God has granted me this. Thank God.

I know there is still some ice somewhere in me but I'm not worried. In time God will salvage me. And since I trust Him entirely, I know I will be protected and safe. I give my heart to God and thank Him for showing me the way. God bless you! God bless you!

I am so moved with your words and encouragement. I am so moved. You don't know how much it means to me to see people who do things for God and in the name of God. One cannot but love them and trust them, because they don't do things to get personal benefit or materialistic benefit. I am starting to understand how things become so graceful and great when they are done for God. I am starting to realize what meaning there is in actions done for God. When our whole life is channeled in the name of God, little things mean a lot. Loving people around us for God is so great, greater than earthly love that holds in its folds selfishness and obsession with possessions.

I am starting to feel that the knot in my chest, that turned my days and nights into hell, is being dissolved. Yes, truth doesn't come all at once; salvation doesn't come all at once. “God takes His time,” indeed. Al-Hamdu-lilah.

God has given us many great things—great capacities to learn, to love, to create, to change, to think, to feel, to enjoy, to meditate, to trust, to get over hurt, to forgive, to sympathize … I was afraid. I thought a relationship with God needed to be a hectic one, that He demanded miracles, that we were to be miserable in His presence, that we were sinful creatures who were doomed to misery and pain. I didn't know that standing, or sleeping, or relaxing, or thinking in God's presence was the sweetest feeling. That there was no need for fear. That He loves us more than we can love our dearest ones. Therefore, a lot of what has been making me miserable and in pain is as dust in the wind.—Nothing stays but truth, and anything else is only a passerby, a vapor.

Thank you for everything you have given me. Thank you for everything you have done. Thank you for listening to me. Thank you for the guidance. Thank you for the words of wisdom. Thank you for involving me—somehow—in your message. Thank you for being around. May God bless you, Catherine, and may God bless the whole Family. Thank you.

With Love, R.