WHY CRY?! 10/94
--Solutions to Sorrow Over Dad's Graduation!
--By Maria Maria #233 DFO 2947
I've been really thinking & praying & asking the Lord how in the world people could have any sadness or grief about Dad's graduation after hearing all of these wonderful words from the Lord through Dad, through me, & through our prophets, & I managed to come up with a few minor things that might bother some of you & cause you to be a little sad. So maybe we should address them here & now, in order to hopefully prevent you from dwelling on anything negative. If we hit it head-on, we can dispel all those potential problems.
First of all, I can certainly understand why you initially, in the first few moments after hearing the news, might feel a great surge of sadness & become very emotional & negatively affected. There could be several reasons for this:
1. The shock of this very unexpected news.
2. You may be affected by someone else's tears.
3. The automatic, ingrained System reaction that you may have that death is so terrible.
4. You may have had a bad experience associated with death in the System.
5. You may worry about the Family & what is going to happen now "since Dad is no longer leading it."
6. You may feel sad that you won't be hearing from Dad any more via his Letters.
7. You may feel "Grandpa is gone now & I've lost my chance to ever hear personally from him."
8. You may feel bad that you won't ever get the chance to personally meet Dad (or see him again), at least in this life.
9. You may be regretful that you did not write Dad more to encourage him or pray for him more while he was still here.
10. You may be remorseful that you didn't fully obey him or do your best for the Lord & him.
11. You may feel condemned for not praying more for Dad during his last bout of sickness, & think that your lack of continual prayer or desperation contributed to his leaving us.
12. You may have gotten verses or prophecies that seemed to strongly indicate that Dad was going to be healed here on this Earth, & you're confused & wonder if you have been misled & are a false prophet.
13. Because you hadn't read anything in recent Letters that Dad's time to go was so close, you may worry that Dad was cut off before his time. You may be tempted to feel that the Devil has somehow gotten a victory & managed to "snuff out Dad's life."
14. You may not see how Dad can help us more from the Spirit World than he could here on Earth.
15. You may feel concerned about me & how I am taking it.
Any of the above could make you feel sad or grief-stricken in some way. Of course, through believing the Word we don't have to have any of these negative feelings. The Word has all the answers, & if we believe the Word, its glorious light will enter in & dispel any darkness that might be hanging around to hinder our joy. "The entrance of Thy Words giveth light!" (Psa. 119:130.)
Let's now deal with these "road blocks to joy" one by one. I will re-list them here in the same order they're listed above, with my comments on how to overcome them.
1. The shock of this unexpected news.
Any shock to your system can be & often is accompanied by very emotional reactions, most commonly tears, or even feeling physically ill, pains in the heart, etc. These are a very natural, physical reaction to something that we initially perceive to be bad news. Reacting in such a way does not mean that you are unspiritual. It simply means you are human. Not everyone cries, but if you feel like crying, please go ahead. There is nothing wrong with tears. We all cried as we stood around Dad's bed, & we suddenly realised that Dad had just left us, so unexpectedly. A broken heart, God will not despise. (Psa.51:17.)
2. You may be affected by someone else's sadness.
I remember I always used to cry when one of the folks on our staff would cry. Normally I didn't do this with others, but she was a very emotional person, & as soon as she would start to cry for some reason, I usually couldn't fight back the tears either. I was not always personally moved by the particular situation about which she was crying, but in those moments I think I identified with her, & her pain became mine. There's nothing wrong with this kind of tears, either, but you can be a greater strength to others by comforting them & helping them overcome their pain or sorrow.
3. The automatic, ingrained System reaction that you may have that death is so terrible.
For most of us adults who lived for many years in the System, death was always portrayed as the worst thing possible, & many of us were negatively affected by the sadness & sorrow that surrounds almost any death in the System.
I realise that most of our young people have not had much firsthand experience with the death of a loved one; however, the movies that they watch often portray death in the same System manner, as something black, cold, final, traumatic, & for which most people blame God. Not only is everything shrouded in black & in darkness, but there is weeping & wailing & cursing & fainting, terrible emptiness, loneliness & loss, & sometimes severe mental & emotional collapse. This is the sorrow of the World which worketh death, the sorrow of those who have no hope in the Lord or Heaven. (See 2Cor.7:10; 1Thes.4:13.) Such portrayals or experiences in the System are bound to have affected our attitudes unless we have been continually cleansed by the washing of the Word in this particular area. As I already mentioned, the solution & cure for all of these types of wrong attitudes is the Word. Just bathe yourself spiritually in the beautiful, feeding, comforting, life-giving messages from Heaven & personal words from Dad that we have been blessed with.
4. You may have had a bad experience in the System associated with death.
This may be especially true if, when you were a child or teen, you had a parent die, & were therefore thrust into a completely different world. In some cases you may not have even been told about the death at first.
In the unspiritual & ungodly atmosphere of the System, all kinds of difficult experiences can occur as an outcome of the death of a loved one, including fear, anger, bitterness, etc. Again, the answer to this is the Word. Reading over & over the beautiful Poster backings, the Heaven's Children story, the wonderful things that Dad has said about going to be with Jesus, & the beautiful prophecies the Lord has given us about Dad's Homegoing should dispel any negative feelings.
5. You may worry about the Family & what is going to happen now "since Dad is no longer leading it."
As you know, Dad has always emphasised that it's the Lord Who is leading this Family, & that we human beings who are leaders are merely His tools, His instruments, His representatives whom He chooses to pass on His guidance & His instructions to His people. If you read & believe the Word, the things that Dad has gotten from the Lord & published in numerous Letters, then you shouldn't have any problem with this, & you won't worry about who is leading the Family. (See "So What," ML #2861, GN 550.) The Lord has promised that He is going to give me--& all of us--what we need to keep us all going & doing a good job for Him right up to the End, thank the Lord!
Like the Lord mentioned in the prophecies, "Fear not who shall teach you or who shall lead you or who shall guide you. Look to Me, look to My Word, look at what I have written already. As ye look to My Word ye shall be strengthened & ye shall be empowered, for it is a new day. Ye shall go forth & fight My battles with a new strength & with a new vigour, & I shall lead you & guide you." ("Dad's Heavenly Welcome," para.59.)
And as Dad has mentioned before, he's still going to be helping to lead us in the Spirit, as the Lord promised he could many times in the past. This was also repeated in the prophecies above: "Now does the mantle of your father David fall upon your Queen. And he will be ever so close to her, speaking to her in her ear ... & guiding her with his own hand. Therefore, be not sad, & weep not, for he is not distant. He is not gone from you. He is even closer than before, & he shall never leave you. He shall never leave the side of his Queen. He shall ever be present, comforting her, leading & guiding her & protecting her." ("Dad's Heavenly Welcome," para.12.)
6. You may feel sad that you won't be hearing from Dad any more via his Letters.
Again, the answer is the same: The Word! Just read over paragraphs 14-15 & 57-58 of "Dad's Heavenly Welcome" Prophecies, as well as paragraphs 77-89 of "Dad's Glorious Graduation."
Dad has not only already written us on almost every subject imaginable, thereby giving us an almost inexhaustible source of counsel in the Letters we've already published, but there are many many more of his Letters which we've yet to publish! Plus, he has told us that he will be giving us more, as we stay tuned in to the Lord & His Heavenly communications. Praise the Lord!
7. You may feel "Grandpa is gone now & I've lost my chance to ever hear personally from him."
What's a little "personal" word, when you have thousands of Grandpa's Letters, which as he has said, were written to you "personally"? Besides, why would you want Grandpa to stay & answer you personally when he is so wonderfully happy in Heaven & is now going to be able to be closer than ever to all of us?
8. You may feel bad that you won't ever get the chance to personally meet Dad (or see him again), at least in this life.
Just read Dad's two "I Gotta Split" Letters to see how Dad feels about what is the best way to "meet" & get to know him intimately. Again, the Word is the answer, & though his body is gone from us, the Wonder Working Words he has given us live on, for the Word is Spirit, & the Word is Life! (See more on this point at the end of this Letter.)
9. You may be regretful that you did not write Dad more to encourage him or pray for him more while he was still here.
Well, this is a very common problem that occurs when someone leaves us. It's called remorse, regret, condemnation, etc., & it happens to all of us. That's the thing I've had to fight the most, knowing that I could have done more for Dad, I could have paid him more attention, I could have felt more the things that he was going through, I could have spent more time with him. But Dad is having such a happy time Up There right now, I know that he certainly does not want us to be sad. Jesus & he forgive us for our shortcomings & our faults & failures, & even in some cases our direct disobediences. He wants us to forget the past & those things that would drag us down & immobilize us, & he wants us to look forward to the race that is before us, & to be happy along with him, & for him, & for ourselves as well, so that we will continue to be encouraged & inspired to share God's Good News with others & make them happy, too.
10. You may be remorseful that you didn't fully obey him or do your best for the Lord & him.
Again, the answer is the same as above. Let's ask the Lord & Dad to forgive us, & let's commit ourselves to even greater obedience in the future.
11. You may feel condemned for not praying more for Dad during his last bout of sickness, & think that your lack of continual prayer or desperation contributed to his leaving us.
Again, "there is therefore now no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus."--Rom.8:1. It was God's time & the time Dad chose to go, so we would not have wanted to try to keep Dad here by our prayers that he stay.
12. You may have gotten verses or prophecies that seemed to strongly indicate that Dad was going to be healed here on this Earth, & you're confused & wonder if you have been misled & are a false prophet.
When we sent the recent prayer request out to the Family in FUN 25, & all of you prayed desperately for Dad, many of you probably got verses that assured you that Dad was going to be healed soon, & that seemed to strongly indicate that he was going to be healed right here on this Earth & stay here with us for a while longer. I believe that the reason for this is because up until the very hour that he went to be with the Lord, Dad had not yet made the decision to go. In fact, he was planning to stay here with us. Therefore, because he had decided to stay, the Lord was assuring you that He was indeed going to heal him from this illness. However, at the last minute, when Dad changed his mind, & I prayed just before he left, "releasing" him by telling the Lord that I was willing to let him go if that's what would be best, these prophecies were no longer applicable, & something even better took their place: The assurance of full & complete & eternal healing in that wonderful Heavenly realm.--Healing & health & happiness & Heaven forever! (More will be published on this aspect of prophecy at a later date, DV!)
13. Because you hadn't read anything in recent Letters that Dad's time to go was so close, you may worry that Dad was cut off before his time. You may be tempted to feel that the Devil has somehow gotten a victory & managed to "snuff out Dad's life."
To be sure, Dad's departure was unexpected for all of us, & the Lord deliberately hid any advance notice from us. While there is always the temptation to regret that you were unable to reassure your loved one of your love & devotion & say your final good-byes, obviously in this case the Lord knew it would be easier for all of us if Dad would just go quickly in his sleep. Dad had already given us a number of talks to prepare us for his Homegoing, many of which we've pubbed for the whole Family, & this time there simply wasn't time for further farewells or emotional parting words since Dad himself did not know until the last minute that he was going.
But you must not worry that Dad was cut off before his time or that the Devil was able to somehow "snuff out his life." No one took his life from him; he chose to go. He was not "cut off before his time." The Lord specifically promised him on numerous occasions that this would not happen. This was the time that Dad himself chose to go. I'm convinced that God had given him a certain period of time within which he could choose the exact timing when he would go.
Remember what Dad has told us about God's Will & how there is a certain leeway within which we can operate & certain choices we can make, & different times that we can make those choices within His Will? Well, I'm convinced that Dad could have gone before, or he could have waited a little while, but he chose this time because the Lord showed him that it was the best time.
14. You may not see how Dad can help us more from the Spirit World than he could from here on Earth, because Dad always said he wanted to stay here with us so he could continue to be a help to us.
The answer to this is that before, Grandpa could help us more here on this Earth. But recently, since he had grown older & was much weaker & more frail, the Lord knew that he could do more to help us from the Spirit World. As he says in the prophecy, "Oh, how I long to be able to teach you & instruct you as I did before. Oh, how I wanted to share more with you, but I could not, because my strength had failed & my old body could not do what I wanted it to. But now I am free! Now I have power, I have strength, I have life, I have freedom, I have liberty!" (See "Dad's Heavenly Welcome," para.23.)
15. You may feel concerned about me & how I am taking it.
You don't have to feel bad for me, because every time I think of Dad being gone I get so happy thinking of how wonderful it is for him that I can't be sad for myself! This has been a wonderful, wonderful precious time for me. Instead of looking over to see Dad next to me, I look up in the Spirit & I see him right there.
So, dear Family, please cheer up now & know that there is nothing to worry about, nothing to make you feel afraid, nothing to make you doubt! Remember, Jesus never fails! So let's all trust Him & shout!--And work harder than ever before to make Him happy! Praise the Lord!
P.S. You may shed a few tears of sorrow, but your sorrow will quickly be turned into joy. He will give you joy in place of sorrow; He will give you sunshine in place of shadow. He will give you the oil of joy for mourning, & will turn your mourning into dancing. He will give you the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.
But when we speak of praise & joy & rejoicing over Dad's Homegoing, we don't mean that everything has to be all "rah-rah" & lighthearted & one continual party. Besides being a time for celebration, it is also a time for the quieter joy of spirit where you feel deep emotions & where even tiny things take on new meaning. You may be frequently moved to cry tears of joy, or just tears of deep feeling that well up within you.
The departure of our loved one should be a time to reflect on the meaning of Heaven & the meaning of our life here on Earth. It should be a time to reassess our priorities & rededicate & commit ourselves to setting our affections on the things Above instead of on the things of this Earth, & to dedicate ourselves to carrying on the work that Dad has left for us to do & is depending upon us to do, & is expecting us to do. So while we need to have a celebration party & a wonderful, happy time of rejoicing that Dad is now free from the evils of this Earth & from all pain & sickness, & while we can continue to be so happy & inspired about his new life & even happy for ourselves that we have a closer link with Heaven & have come to understand it in a better way than ever, we should not fail to also meditate on the seriousness of this time. We should reflect on the fact that life is very short & Heaven is very near.--Not only for Dad but for all of us.
So let's rejoice that our beloved Prophet has gone on to his reward, but let's also let the Lord use this time to draw us all closer to Him & the Heavenly vision & calling that He has given each one of us. God bless you, I love you! Mama
* Regarding point number 8 from the above list, about people feeling sad because they won't get to meet Dad now, I wanted to include the following poem which someone at one of our offices just sent to me. She wrote, "When I first heard the news of Dad's Graduation, one of the things I got hit with was, `Oh, I didn't even get to meet him,' & I felt kind of sad about that. I guess it's the dream of everyone in the Family to meet Dad. Then this morning while praying for you I was reminded of this poem that the Lord gave me a few years ago after I had read I Gotta Split, Part 2, & it just seemed so fitting now, & reminded me how, as you said, it is even more wonderful now. Anyway, I'm sure Dad would rather meet us all with his young, healthy, robust new body, able to give everyone a good hearty hug, & able to love up the women all he wants. It'll be even more wonderful! I'm so much more excited about Heaven now! Hallelujah!"
{\b \i LOVE IN THE SPIRIT!}
Would you rather have your lover
Just merely by your side?--
Or in the very heart of you
And there within abide?
Are you with Me in the Spirit
Or would you rather have the flesh?
More comforting than My Presence,
My Heart with yours enmesh.
Let My Spirit press within you,
Feel the ecstasy of My joy;
As My Spirit overflows you,
My Love you will employ.
Now you know reality,
You can have Me all the time.
We have instant intercourse
And blissfulness sublime!
The flesh is too much with us
And the things we see so dull
Compared with wondrous beauties
We have in Heaven's all in all!
So forget about the flesh
And set your mind Above--
Spiritual things will free you
As you revel in My Love!
Oh, the blissful Heavenly Spirit
Is more wonderful than this World,
Dive deep in Heavenly wonders,
Let Me set your head a-whirl!
Let the fresh sweet wine of Heaven
Gently carry you off
And capture the very soul of you
With joys you know not of.
These precious joys of love
Will never fade away,
Words of love I speak to you
Will keep you day by day.
Now I live within you,
Oh, let Me show My power,
And grow you to maturity
For now is your ordained hour.
The precious Words I've given you
Will ever live within,
For it is the Spirit that quickens
And keeps you to the End!
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family