"TIPPING" & "EAST MEETS WEST"!--By Father David DFO1105 5/6/75
1. YOU CAN'T HELP ALL THE POOR, BUT AT LEAST YOU CAN HELP THOSE WITH WHOM YOU COME IN CONTACT, & particularly those who perform services for you. I never felt like tipping was an extravagance or a waste of any kind. Some people tell me, "Oh, you're going to spoil them." The landlord said, "We used to only have to pay these maids 30 pesetas an hour for cleaning our houses, now we've got to pay them 60 & furnish their transportation & blah blah blah!" I thought 60 was ridiculous for their amount of hard work!
2. SO I ALWAYS FELT LIKE GENEROUS TIPPING WAS NOT ONLY A HELP TO THEM--& they really needed it--but I felt like giving & I enjoy it. I also tried to make sure they did their job well! I didn't believe in them just scotching off & not doing what they ought to do. I was tipping maids well, but I told the girls to watch them & make sure they did their job.
3. I DON'T BELIEVE IN PAYING PEOPLE EXTRA FOR LOAFING. If they do a good job I don't mind giving them extra & rewarding them for faithful work but if they're loafing & skipping around & don't want to water the lawn here & don't want to cut the weeds or mow, you're not going to give it to them. The Lord doesn't reward us for loafing, the Lord rewards us for faithful, good work, amen?
4. A LOT OF TIMES I WOULD GET SO MAD AT THE WAITERS FOR BEING SO SNIPPY & for keeping us waiting a long time or not really paying decent attention I didn't want to give them a tip at all. So what do you think I did? Well, I figured this way, if I didn't give them anything then they would have something to gripe about, because even if they gave us lousy service, at least they gave us some kind of service. So I just tipped them a whole lot less, very little, about what it was worth. If they gave average service I just gave the usual 10% minimum, but if it was a nice fellow who showed a sweet spirit & gave real good attentive service, we usually tried to give them more.
5. WE MADE IT A POLICY WITH ALL OUR REGULAR DOMESTIC HELP LIKE MAIDS & GARDENERS, TO TIP THEM ONCE A WEEK. This way we didn't get all mixed up & confused wondering if we tipped them. We made it just a set policy. And with the mailman too, if he had any extra trouble & had to deliver boxes or go get them for us or something like that, we gave him some extra money.
6. THEY USED TO CALL MONDAY "BLUE MONDAY" IN SOME COUNTRIES, so I figured that ought to cheer them up!--Especially when the mailman would show up with a hangover, I figured that would cheer him up on Mondays. That way it was always easy for us to remember we always tipped everybody on Monday. The maids came once a week so it wasn't hard to remember, we tipped them when they came. But the gardener was there nearly every day & the mailman almost every day, so we just gave them their 100 pesetas on Monday & that was it, & they understood.
7. THE FIRST TIME WE EVER GAVE IT WE USUALLY SAID THAT IT WAS "FOR YOUR GOOD SERVICES FOR THE WEEK."--I'd mention the fact that it was for the week so they wouldn't come hanging around the window expecting it every day, & they soon got the point! The mailman usually made sure he had some mail for us every Monday!
8. NOT ONLY DO THEY NEED IT, & IF THEY DO A GOOD JOB, DESERVE IT, BUT IT'S A GOOD WITNESS! They know you're Christians, you talk about God & always say, "God bless you," & "Thank God," & so on, so it gives God the glory. "These good people, these Godly people give me more money than the ungodly employers that I work for! They're more concerned, they give me what it's worth!"--So it's a testimony for the Lord's people & against those who aren't.
9. AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, IT IS VERY GOOD PR & gives you a very good reputation with everybody concerned! If the mailman works for the government, he gives them a good report: "Oh, those are good people, I like them! Oh, that's all right, I'll take care of that package, don't worry about it."--Get the point? They can either slant it toward you or away from you. The gardener & the maids report to the landlord, "Well, that's all right, they'll be sure to pay you, they're taking good care of the house, they're very good people, they never make noise, they're nice people for you to have!"
10. THEY GIVE A GOOD REPORT TO THEIR EMPLOYERS ABOUT YOU, whether the government or the landlord or just the people in general. "Oh, you're working for those Children of God? What are they like?" "Oh, they're good people, they're nice to me!" They may not tell why they think you're so good, they probably wouldn't want to say that it's because you tip them so well, but they'll give a good report.
11. "CAST THY BREAD UPON THE WATERS, FOR THOU SHALL FIND IT AFTER MANY DAYS!" (Ecc.11:1.) If you'll be good to these people, then when you need them in time of emergency or extra help, you're not going to be sorry. They'll not only give you better service, but get the job done cheerfully & happily & then everybody's happy!
12. THE SELFISH GREEDY CAPITALISTS TELL YOU "NO, NO, NO, DON'T DO IT!"--But for God's sake, don't go by them! They're already the oppressors of the poor! Don't pay any attention to what they say. I do as the Spirit leads me. I look at the person & love them, & I used to kiss the maids good morning & goodbye & made a regular habit of it!
13. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO INSIST WHEN TIPPING! You can make it impossible for them to return the money by sticking it in their pocket or doing something so they can't give it back! If the taxi took me home I'd throw 100 pesetas into the seat as they slammed the door to take off!
14. ONE THING I FOUND WAS THEY COULD HARDLY REFUSE A GIFT THAT I GAVE FOR THEIR CHILDREN. If they'd try to refuse, I'd say, "But it's not for you, so you can't refuse it! It's for your children, I want you to give it to them!"--And I'd often give it directly to the children, & of course they'd never refuse! They always came & grabbed it! They knew what money was.
15. I KNEW A FAMILY THAT WAS VERY POOR & I offered to help them finish their house. Of course he said, "Oh no, no!" & I said, "But it's for the family, your children, you can't refuse for them. It's for them!" How could he refuse?
16. SO IF SOME PEOPLE REFUSE A TIP, YOU CAN JUST LEAVE IT ON THE COUNTER & WALK OFF! I never had anybody come chasing after me with it yet!--Including the girl at the Iberia Airlines reservation counter where they say tipping is absolutely against the rules! The first time I tried to hand her the money out in full view, so the next time she was sitting there doodling on her scratch pad & I said, "Oh, let me see that"--& I stuck the bill in it so her boss couldn't see it! She saw exactly what I was doing! I laid it back down, said, "Thank you very much." & walked out. She just grinned from ear to ear!
17. SO THERE'S ALWAYS A WAY IF YOU INSIST! The Spanish in Tenerife never would accept a tip without protest. You are ridiculous if you think just because they protest the first time that therefore you weren't supposed to tip them! It's partly their pride, partly their custom, partly their courtesy to refuse the tip the first time, but then you just stick it in their pocket or leave it on the counter or throw it on the car seat & walk off! They say, "Thank you!" & are very much better to you next time.
18. WE HAD THE BRITISH DO THE SAME THING, believe it or not! About the only place they don't do that is in the U.S. & France. I don't know about Germany--I didn't stay any longer in Germany than I could possibly help! I hated that place. But France & Italy, brother, they're sticking their hand out & if you don't put something in it they're apt to stick it in your pocket! That's the way they are, & you know who taught them that way?--The Americans! Both of these are countries in which the Americans have been very very numerous.
19. BEGINNING AFTER WORLD WAR I THE AMERICANS JUST FLOODED FRANCE, especially when they found out they could get all those nice women there! So everybody wanted to go to France for their vacation, even if they had to take their families. So France became very popular, Italy the same, & for virtually the same reasons. France & Italy are really bugging you all the time for a hand-out, & it may be that way now in Central Spain because there are so many Americans there. But in Tenerife they were very proud, unspoiled people & they didn't really like tipping.
20. WE EVEN FOUND OUT IN THE RURAL & SUBURBAN AREAS OF BRITAIN--not downtown where they're used to tourists & took tips for everything--that they would always refuse the tip. Always! And I do think that's the only place anybody came running after us with a tip was in the dime store there. But usually if you insisted & you just left it, they didn't come running after you with it. I've had them just flatly refuse the tip! For example, when somebody would take us a long distance in their car, I'd offer to pay for the gasoline & they just flatly refused to take a thing for it. But as they were pulling out I'd throw it through the window, & usually they'd just laugh & wave. When they see that you really mean business, that you're going to be offended if they don't accept it, then as a courtesy they've got to accept it.
21. THEY'RE GOING TO FIND OUT YOU'RE A DIFFERENT KIND OF RICH--you're the kind of rich that insists on helping the poor & wants to help the poor. I'll tell you something I got this morning. We blab a lot about how we're all for the Third World & helping the poor & the Third World nations & blah blah blah, & which we mean sincerely & honestly & truly. We want to help them & we want to see them helped.
22. WHAT GOD USUALLY DOES WHEN YOU ACCUSE THE RICH OF NOT HELPING THE POOR, or you accuse people of not going to the mission field like they ought to, the first person He picks to do it is you to see if you mean what you talk about! He sends you out to be the first example, or He makes you start shelling out & putting your money where your mouth is! So tipping is a good way to start helping the Third World poor--your own poor right here under your nose, & that's the way I look at it.
23. WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT WHAT SHOULD BE DONE FOR THE THIRD WORLD, blah blah, but we are probably now going to be elected to do it now for one Third World country! [DELETED] To put our money where our mouth is & show them what to do & how to do it, & what they ought to be doing for their own poor. We need to set the example.
24. GODAHFI HAS NO RIGHT TO BE JUST AS PREJUDICED AGAINST THE WEST AS THE WEST IS AGAINST THE ARABS! What you need to do is learn how to choose between the good & the evil. I have seen shows on television here which I think would make a tremendous hit in America or the West. The dances, the songs, the music, some of it is very interesting, stuff I've never seen before. [DELETED]
25. I'M MAD BECAUSE OUR GOD-DAMNED WESTERN TELEVISION DOESN'T USE A BIT OF IT! I've seen things in French & German & Jewish dances & so on, & you hear them on the radio in America. Well, why the hell can't they use something Arabic? [DELETED]
26. NOW HE HAS NO RIGHT TO BE PREJUDICED AGAINST SOME OF THE GOOD THINGS OF THE WEST. He's using their technology & their technicians & their industry. He may not be using their food, but his people are.--Along with their cigarettes & their modern items, their televisions, cars & everything else! Why the hell can't he let his teenagers have the Western music they want?--And a little bit of that Western dress. Maybe a little modified long hair, college length or something.
27. HE IS GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE A LITTLE BIT OF EFFORT, give a little, compromise a little & make a few allowances. They are going to get it anyhow. They'll be playing their little transistor radios full blast at home, what they want to hear, whether he'll let 'em have it or not! He would be stupid to have them bootleg it in just like they're doing the liquor. I hear it's $50 a bottle! They're bootlegging the music in & they're probably bootlegging in their own form of entertainment out under the trees or the bushes!
28. IF YOU WANT TO HELP THE POOR THIRD WORLD NATIONS, CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME, right now with your neighbours. So they are going to have to learn to accept certain things from the Western culture that their people are going to demand. And what do their teenagers want? They love that Western teenage pop music. And who has the right kind to give them?--We do! They're going to get it somehow, one way or the other, because the whole world of teenagers loves it, & they're all listening to Radio Luxembourg or something to get it.
29. IT CAME TO ME THAT WHEN THE LORD LED ME TO BECOME A MISSIONARY TO THE HIPPIES, IT WAS REALLY LIKE BECOMING A MISSIONARY TO A FOREIGN CULTURE, a foreign country & a bunch of foreigners. I knew very little, if nothing, about them, but I learned all I could. I tried to dress like they did & use some of their language. I didn't go in trying to change their dress or their language or even their music or anything, even if I didn't like it. I didn't insist they cut their hair, even if it wasn't healthy to have it so damn long in hot weather. They got sores & itched & bugs & everything else!
30. BUT I WENT IN & TOOK THEM RIGHT WHERE THEY WERE AT & I gave them what they needed. I didn't try to change their politics--they won me over to their politics! They won me over to their hair--take a look! I used to be a clean-shaven close-cropped Texan, cowboy of the cowboys, & I'd never met a hippy in my life! But from all I'd heard about them, I hated them! I believed what I heard on radio, television & in the newspapers, that they were awful!--A bunch of communists, dirty, a bunch of drug addicts!
31. I HEARD ALL THE WORST THINGS POSSIBLE BECAUSE THE SYSTEM NEVER HAD ONE GOOD THING TO SAY--not one! I can scarcely say that I ever actually met a hippy face to face until I went to California! Well, when I got to know them personally & read their literature & some of their views on politics, I was a convert! They won me over! I began to see why they dressed that way, why they wore their hair long, why they had that kind of view of life, why that culture, why their politics & why the drugs--although I didn't dare take any!
32. GOD KNOWS I GET ENOUGH IN THE SPIRIT TO FLIP OUT WITHOUT IT! If I took some I might've never come back, so maybe it's a good thing I didn't! I don't know what more hash or pot or anything would have done for me than the Spirit of God already does! But anyway, I can understand pretty much what they're talking about because I've had the same experiences in the spirit, or a great deal similar.
33. I DIDN'T TRY TO CONVERT THEM TO MY WAY as far as dress & their whole culture was concerned. If anything, I was a convert to theirs! I'm a convert to the culture here now when it comes to dress, I think it's great, the perfect thing for this kind of climate.--Most comfortable clothes I ever more! I like some of their music, some of it I don't like, & I like some of their singing.
34. SOME OF THOSE GIRLS & BOYS GET ON THERE & SING WITH REAL FEELING, & you can really enjoy it & feel it! And some of those gals, I mean their singing is really sexy! I can't understand a word of it, but boy, I can sure understand their facial expressions--they really come through! So I think they ought to have a little of that kind of thing in the West, a little sample of what the Arabs are like. The whole West is hating the Arabs & they don't even know what the Arabs are like!
35. IF YOU'RE MAKING SONGS IN ARABIC FOR THE WEST, THAT'S FINE, but as far as I'm concerned, they've got plenty of it here & they don't need it here, just a little bit to show them you're trying. But what our experience has been with kids of every nationality & every language all over the World is that they accept music & words in English just as well, even if they don't understand them.
36. THEY LIKE IT JUST BECAUSE IT'S WESTERN STYLE, popular music, just like they like the cowboys! If you can put their language to it too so they can understand it, that's even better, that's great, but you're going to have a hard time. you can't do everything, at least not right away, & frankly I don't think you should hesitate to sing it for them in English.--Because it's the music they like, the Spirit they love, even if they can't understand the words.
37. I'VE BEEN WATCHING THOSE PRETTY GIRLS SING, & even in Arabic I get the point! I get the spirit, I can tell they're singing about love & sex & "I love you" & it turns you on! Something about that music's pretty sexy! PTL! They have some happy, fast music here, it's not all that mournful, doleful stuff. They've got some very good happy songs & happy music & they're beginning to cheer up a little bit!
38. I BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN GIVE THEM YOUR MUSIC, & I believe that the teenagers & young people especially are going to like it. It's quite obvious that your overgrown, superannuated, overage teenagers you're entertaining next door like our style of music & want it! I notice they don't play any Arabic music for your dances, do they?
39. YOU MIGHT MAKE A STAB AT THE LANGUAGE TO SHOW YOU'RE TRYING SOMETIMES, a chorus or verse here or there. We noticed a lot of times the guys at the clubs in Tenerife would sing their songs in Spanish, but then they would try a verse or a chorus at least in English. You could hardly recognise it was English, much less understand it most of the time, but they at least were trying to sing something in English & it was really funny. Everybody got a kick out of it because you saw they were trying to please you. But frankly, I enjoyed the Spanish just as much & it didn't matter what they said, it was the music & the rhythm I liked & liked to dance to.
40. SO I DON'T BELIEVE YOU'VE GOT TO BECOME TOTALLY ARABIC in order to reach these people. I think you've got a whole lot they already like--your music, your spirit, your looks, your sex, your femininity! There's plenty you've got going for you, girls, & boys, that they already like. You don't have to say it in Arabic necessarily, just learn a little if you can to show you're trying to make a stab at it. That's what we did, we were always trying to talk to the boys in Spanish & they appreciated that, even if we didn't speak good Spanish.
41. I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO FIND OUT ALSO THAT WE'RE NEVER GOING TO TOTALLY AGREE WITH THEIR RELIGION, nor they with ours. Forget about ever coming to some kind of religious agreement. They've got their religion, we've got ours! We might as well let that be understood from the beginning. The fact of the matter is, we can agree on the basics. You might say philosophically we can agree we both believe in God & we're both trying to help our fellow man. That is the basic principle of what Godahfi is trying to put across in his Third World Theory, & that's what you can just stick to.
42. DON'T BE SO DAMN MUSLIM! You can't! Forget it! You'll never be able to please the religionists. It wouldn't matter if you went down to the mosque ten times a day & went through all the genuflections & prayed all the prayers & studied the Koran night & day, you'd never convince them you were a Muslim! No matter how hard you try, you'll never suit the religionists, you'll never be that much of a Muslim.
43. YOU CAN TELL THEM, "YOUR RELIGION IS FINE FOR YOU, MY RELIGION IS FINE FOR ME, now let's get along together. We both love God & are trying to help our fellow man, let's work together on those things. Our basic principles & ethics of our religions are virtually the same, & these are the things we need to work together on, the things we agree on!
44. "FORGET WHAT WE DISAGREE ON! Let's not argue & waste time! You've got yours, I've got mine, fine! Let's be brothers! We both love God & we're both trying to help the poor, let's work together. Now here's what I think you ought to do for your poor. you're trying to tell us this, that & the other, I'm going to tell you what you need to do!"
45. I THINK IF YOU HAD A CLUB WITH OUR KIND OF ENTERTAINMENT & MUSIC, & one of our good bands & singers, you wouldn't have to worry about too much translation or anything. Try to throw in a few Arabic words & songs to your music, all right, fine, as fast as you can, as many as you can, but in the meantime I wouldn't hesitate a bit to play them all the music you've got, & sing them all the songs you know in English, Italian or whatever & I'm sure they'll enjoy it! Music is an international language. It's the music they love, the rhythm, & especially if you had dancing, I think you'd be a tremendous hit in a social place for the kids to gather! (Eve's team were!)
46. AS WE SAID ABOUT CULTURE & RELIGION, THE SAME GOES FOR THE ARABIC. We will never be Arabs. We will never speak fluent Arabic. We cannot do everything in Arabic. We cannot become Arabs & do everything in Arabic, forget it! But we have got some things like our music & our spirit that the people love & like & want, Arabic or not. They're going to get it one way or the other, so we might as well be the ones to give it to them in the right place & the right spirit with the right words, be they English or Arabic.
47. I THINK A CLUB LIKE THAT WOULD MAKE A HIT if they let us just serve soft drinks or juices. It might be a good idea to even ban soft drinks! Tell them, "[EDITED: "Your leader"] won't serve you liquor, we don't even believe in soft drinks! We're more strict than [EDITED: "your leader"]! Healthful fruit juices only! If you want to get your Cokes & Pepsis, go next door!" You might serve a little tea & coffee as long as you limit it to no more than two cups.
48. WE'RE NEVER GOING TO BE TOTALLY ARABIC & THEY'RE NEVER GOING TO BE TOTALLY WESTERN & they might as well forget it right now if they think they're going to Arabicize the Western World!--And certainly the Western World is never going to Westernize them! Rudyard Kipling said, "East is East & West is West & never the twain shall meet," & I'm inclined to agree if he means by that that they'll never absorb each other. But I disagree, I think they can meet & they can enjoy a little taste or sample of each others culture. I'm enjoying their television & some of their music & dancing, why can't they enjoy our music & dancing? That's one thing we can all understand.--Dancing, sex & music!
49. MUSIC, DANCING & SEX ARE A UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE! When I say sex I don't mean fucking necessarily, although it can be, but I'm just talking about sex appeal! Boy meets girl, dancing together, a little romantic interest, inter-sexual social life. Sex is a very broad field. You can find sex in advertising, sex in everything. It's not just in bed. In fact 99% of the sex is not in bed, it's all in your head, so let's use it, amen? Praise the Lord!
50. OF COURSE I LIKE IT IN BED TOO, but I'm not always able. Well, my hands are always able, & if you like my hands, well all right! If you're satisfied with that, praise the Lord! Otherwise I'm not always able, probably because I've already been too busy with Maria! Considering how much sex we have I don't have too much to spare. But if you don't mind just coming & lying with me & let me finger you a little bit & pet you & love you & show that I love you, well maybe that will be sufficient. I don't mind you fingering me, that's for sure! Is this all going on tape? Lord help us! Praise the Lord!
51. THE KIDS KNOW WHAT I'M LIKE, I'M JUST BEING HONEST! I'm just saying what you already know.--I'm just not ashamed to speak about it in public. Why should I be ashamed of it? What's wrong with it? Why should we have that old stupid taboo & inhibition about talking about what happens all the time? I don't think there's anything wrong with sex, & I wouldn't mind doing it right here on the floor in front of all of you except we've got other things to do right now. I like the direct approach!
52. I DON'T LIKE THIS HYPOCRITICAL ATTITUDE OF DOUBLE MORAL STANDARD that they have in the U.S., those so-called Christian countries, where they pretend to be so nice & moral. It's hypocritical & it's all a big front! They're just as sexy as anybody & in fact, they're over-sexed, & it makes 'em even worse! I think a natural attitude toward sex helps to keep it cool. Anyway, where were we before I got on all that? Somehow I always wind up in bed!
53. SEX IS ONE OF OUR MAJOR ATTRACTIONS & ALWAYS HAS BEEN, whether a boy or girl witnesses, sex has a lot to do with it. It has helped to win a lot of souls, & interested them in the first place in the message if nothing else could get their interest. The fact it was a boy or a girl got their interest so they'd listen, amen?
54. ANYWAY, I'M SURE THAT MUSIC, DANCING & SEX IS THE BIG ATTRACTION FOR YOUNG PEOPLE in any country on Earth, & they're going to have to make a few allowances. They say they want to reach their young people, what price are they willing to pay? Their young people are probably just as fed up with the Koran as the Americans were with the Bible! If I'd started off just on the Bible the hippies wouldn't have given me a second look! But we offered them music & sex & close fellowship! Well anyway, that is my opinion.--What's yours?--Amen?--Amen!
Copyright (c) 1997 by The Family