LATE REPORT, NO MAG! DFO886 4 April 1980
1. LATE REPORTS are causing us considerable difficulties, & some of you missed Mags! From now on we are very sorry but we cannot replace missed Mags due to late Reports!
2. MAIL YOUR REPORT & GIFT PROMPTLY THE 1ST OF EACH MONTH OR YOU MAY MISS YOUR NEXT MAG & we cannot replace it. There are over a dozen Reporting Offices throughout the World including WIM, CROs & LIMs, & we cannot possibly keep up with replacing lost Mags to all, you delinquent Reporters! Sorry, but that's it!
3. MAIL IT ON THE 1ST OR NO MAGS! We've had it!--And you've had it! No Report, no Mag!--Late Report, no Mag! Our Report Offices close their books on the 10th, & if your Report's not in by then, you'll get no more Mags till we hear from you!--And then you'll only get the next Mags--no more back issues!--Sorry!--It's impossible! Sorry. Get your Report in on the 1st! If that won't get it to your Report Office by the 10th, send it in early before the 1st!--Don't be late! Don't miss Mags! Period!--Love,--Dad.
P.S.--Sorry, but we've had hundreds of late Reports, & this causes hundreds of extra items of totally unnecessary items of correspondence that are costly, time-wasting and confusing!--Delinquency Notices, Hold Notices, Renewal Notices, Final Notices, etc., etc., etc.!--And your missed Mags, separate mailings etc.--It's driving our offices & you crazy!--We just can't handle it!--And we won't!
THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE FOR A LATE REPORT! From now on we're printing Report Blanks in every single issue but Komix!--So that'll be no excuse!--And if you haven't any money for your tithe or gift, that's your fault!--Not ours!--Save it up ahead of time!--And mail it ahead of time!--And give us two months' notice for a change of address!--Or arrange for your Home Base to forward your mail!
WE CAN NO LONGER BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MISSED MAGS! (See the "Last Mail Report"!) If you've forgotten our address, check the WIM, CRO, LIM List in FN 20--or mail your Report direct to WIM at WS, PF 241, 8021 Zurich, Switzerland--our world address that's on every Mag or Komic!
--AND IF YOU STILL MISS A MAG NOW & THEN, BLAME YOUR P.O., NOT US!--If we get your Report & gift on time--before the 10th--we mail'm!--If you don't, we don't!--Sorry. We can't afford to waste Mags on folks who are too slothful & lazy & careless & neglectful to report on time!--How do we know if you're still there?--Only by your Report!--On time before our next mailing!
--AND SO WHAT IF YOU MISS ONE!--Chalk it up to a lesson learned!--And the tithe or gift is the Lord's anyhow--not the Mag's!--It's for His Work!--The Mag is a bonus!--You'll get your credit for your gift from the Lord!--But if you want the Mag from us, get your Report & gift in on time!!!--Or no Mag!
--Mad Dad!
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family