OUR SIDE
--In Defense of
our Faith, Family, and Lifestyle
Dear Family,
In light of the bitter accusations
leveled at Dad, Mama, Peter and WS that have recently been circulated by
various detractors, there was a groundswell amongst those who know Mama and
Peter personally to speak up and share their experiences.
Those of us who wrote these would like to
make it clear that Mama and Peter did not solicit these testimonies.
This idea came from those of us who live and work in WS, many of whom live day
in and day out with Mama and Peter.
We felt compelled to take a stand against
the lies, mistruths and personal attacks on our shepherds by declaring the
truth. So we opened the floor to a variety of people who have lived with Mama
and Peter, interacted closely with them, and who know their true nature-giving
them the opportunity to share their thoughts and views with you via this open
forum. The response we received was overwhelming. Many WS members, CROs, and a
few field missionaries who know Dad, Mama and Peter intimately, wrote personal
testimonials and firsthand accounts of their experiences.
We let people know that Mama and Peter were in the midst of addressing the most major accusations about WS, Mama and Peter’s leadership, the use of prophecy, and other specifics in the GN “None of These Things Move Me,” so most people chose to shed light on Mama and Peter, their character, their personal lives, and the way they handle people. We’re sure you’ll find this interesting. As you’ll see, the accounts in these mags strongly contrast with those that certain former members have recently circulated. Read them for yourself and decide who you’ll believe.
We pray you'll enjoy these mags and that
they will provide you with greater understanding and insight into Mama and
Peter’s lives and daily mode of operation, from those who know them best.
Love,
Your WS Staff
PS. Please note
that we’ve left the articles in these mags as they were originally written.
This is what people had to say about Mama, Peter, WS, and the Family, in the
way they had to say it. If this were a regular Family pub, we would have done
more editing. The mag editors probably wouldn’t have chosen to say some things
in the exact way people chose to say them. But this is the “raw truth” as seen
through the eyes of these individuals. Let the truth be known!
Note: If you
feel led to share portions of this FSM series with former members, close
friends of the Family, or relatives who have questions along these lines, you
may do so, if the Lord confirms it for each individual. Please get His
guidelines and counsel on precisely which testimonies or excerpts would benefit
your friends, and prayerfully “preview” the material beforehand.
* * *
I Know Them
By Margie,
CRO (a.k.a. Marianne), Japan
I first met Dad and Mama in 1978, right in the middle of the RNR,
and I have been working under their direct shepherding and oversight, in
different projects, ministries and responsibilities for over 20 years now. I
had the chance to visit them several times in different countries and
situations, and we worked quite closely together during the period of the DTD
tapes, the “Life with Grandpa” book projects, in the P.I., and particularly
during the exciting days of the DF ministry. I attended many meetings, summits
and conferences led by Peter. For all those years we have kept regular
communications through which I have been able to share my heart, talk about my
personal situation, ask countless number of questions, report on personal
mistakes, discuss the work and personnel situations, and have received counsel
from Dad, Mama and Peter on a wide range of personal and work matters.
Having met them, worked with them and
abundantly communicated with them for all these years, as well as visited them
in their Home at various times, I know from experience of the love, care,
openness and concern with which they handle people’s thoughts, ideas and
opinions, their hearts, confessions and questions. I feel very grieved by the
description and misrepresentation given by James Penn’s recent letter. I
understand certain people feeling that the Family is not the place for them, I
understand that some find other situations that they are more comfortable with,
and that not everyone will continue to embrace our doctrines and the new moves
of the Spirit-that is their choice according to their faith. But what is very
upsetting is when they turn around and try to discredit the very hand that fed
them all these years, and especially painting such an unfair portrait to our
young people, who might not know better, of the leaders the Lord has appointed
to this Family, in order to discredit both these leaders and the Family, and
hence hindering all the good that is being done, and which they cannot deny!
Throughout all these many years that I’ve
been working and counseling with Mama and Peter in particular, but also Dad, I
have always been encouraged to give my candid opinion on all subjects, and to
speak up about anything that I may have concerns or disagreements about. We
have a clear understanding, and it has been emphasized to me repeatedly over
the years, that if I receive advice for a situation or an individual which I
don't feel comfortable about, or don't have the faith for, since I am the one
involved in the situation, and I understand more of the ins and outs, I should
operate according to my faith, and I should handle the counsel and advice
passed on in a Spirit-led manner. This is something that has always impressed
me, and I have tried to be as open with those I shepherd, LHM!
I believe that part of the keynote to
every visit that I made to their Home or meeting I attended always included
encouragement to be totally honest about any matter, any personal question, or
about any pub that I was given to read. My comments and suggestions were always
received with appreciation, even if they were out of it or not relevant! I
believe Mama and Peter, from Dad’s training, are a good sample of the council
given in “The Wise Leader,” and they do practice very much drawing from
people’s ideas and input. There are times that the Lord may be leading them in
some direction and they have chosen to remain faithful to what the Lord shows
them-which all do not have to agree with, and if one does not, then they can
operate according to their faith at the level of discipleship they feel
comfortable with. People can agree to disagree and go on to do what they have
the faith for!
Dad, Mama and Peter have not put
themselves up on pedestals or pretended to be perfect or that they don't make
mistakes; to the contrary they have made many confessions over the years, which
I respect them for. They have shared many lessons and always try to give God
the glory for the good, and teach us to do the same. There are hundreds of
letters and messages that I have written through the years in which I brought
up questions, problems, confessions, and mistakes, and my opinions and points
of view were always handled with respect. My preferences were acknowledged and
my personal faith and initiative were encouraged. Corrections were also given,
but in a very loving manner, which made me want to try again.
At times it took faith for me to follow
the counsel that I received, but I have never been put under pressure to do
something which I didn't believe in or for which I didn't feel I had the faith
for. This is something that I truly admire in Mama and Peter's leadership, and
which is also so clearly laid out and expressed in the Charter: Each one is
encouraged to go according to their faith!
I understand that some people have a hard time embracing the more
radical beliefs of the Family, or they feel unsettled by the new moves of the
Spirit, from the post-Charter era to the greater use of prophecy, the Loving
Jesus revelation, etc. I'm saddened that they’re missing out on a lot, because
by following the New Wine, I have found great strength in it. As Jesus said,
"If any man will do of His will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it
be of God or whether I speak of myself” (John 7:17).
The New Wine has helped me to be a lot
more aware of Jesus in my life and in my circumstances, and to draw closer to
Him, to feel Him more at the controls in my life, which is the reason I chose
to serve Him in this Family in the first place. It has not led me to a Peter or
Mama worship, but rather to be more anchored and led in my decisions by the One
I have chosen to give my life to. The Word that we've received in the recent
years has only helped me to learn to live with more praise, more prayer, more
listening to His still, small voice; more quiet time with Him, and learning to
let Him guide me.
Mama and Peter are continuing to do as
Dad taught them, pointing us to the Lord and encouraging us to draw closer to
Him. The whole spirit of the Charter and its application have been to set
people free to live according to their faith. In all the leadership meetings
that we have had since the Charter, the Lord has led the leadership of the
Family to encourage people to look more to the Lord themselves, instead of
having their eyes so much on their leadership. Of course, prophecy is used more
extensively and is a powerful means of receiving the Lord’s words and
instruction, but the Charter states clearly that you should only follow the
prophecies that you have the faith for, and that if you have any questions you
should ask for further guidance and confirmation. So actually we have powerful
safeguards in place in the Charter to make sure that people are not led blindly
about by someone’s message that they have received from the Lord.
In working with Mama and Peter, I have
always appreciated and admired the fact that they are very personable and
always welcome new ideas, questions, comments, and in CRO message after CRO
message we are encouraged to pray about and suggest policy changes and ways to
improve all aspects of our Family life. They are very aware of the fact that
certain things do need to change and improve in the Family, and although I'm
sure they must not approve of all the ideas and suggestions offered, no one is
put down or rebuked for saying what they feel. This is something I greatly
appreciate in my working relationship with Mama and Peter, that I know I can
say whatever is on my heart or on my mind freely and I have no fear of
heavy-handed dealing for it. I know that if I’m truly out of it, they will let
me know, but with love and consideration.
Along the same lines, I've always
appreciated Peter's ability to draw out people's opinions and listen to their
ideas. Though in the final decision they may take a different route, according
to what the Lord shows them after counsel, yet I have not heard them put down
individuals, mock or criticize them for having different opinions.
One thing that really won me when I first
visited at the RNR, and which I have seen unchanged through the years, is that
they are just the way they are portrayed in the Letters. They don't pretend to
be perfect, they don't hide that they’re human and that they make mistakes,
they give God the credit for the good, and they always encourage each other to
save the missionaries’ funds. I was often convicted by the frugality and the
simplicity of their Home when I visited, whereas in the Home that I was living
in, we were often more careless and wasteful, Lord help us! They dress simple,
they act simple, and they try to live just what they preach. I love the
relaxed, sweet spirit that pervades their Home, where a lot gets done with a
high degree of dedication, but also sweet, fun interaction and lots of love are
manifested.
I've always been touched by their
consideration for people in different situations and circumstances. Mama truly
has the beautiful gift of being able to put herself in other people's shoes. I
could tell countless little stories of things that truly deeply touched me and
which proved to me their genuine love and concern in spite of their great
responsibilities. When I became single in the P.I., Peter, as busy as he was,
would take the time every now and then to come and fellowship with me, to
encourage me and help me though that difficult period of my life. Peter was not
drawing me to himself, but he would always share some personal lessons and talk
to me about his great love for Mama and the lessons he was learning through it
all. He was a wonderful listener and encourager.
When I first got separated, it was a
period of breaking and learning big lessons for me, so dear Abi was sent to be
a companion to me. She didn’t lecture me nor try to convince me to do this or
that; she just was there to pray for me and listen when I needed it. She was
such a strength, and I knew her being there was something the Lord had laid on
Mama’s heart at the time.
When I gave birth to Gabriel, and found
out that he was so handicapped, Mama remembered someone who had a gift and
talent to work with handicapped children, and she let me know and worked it out
for that dear sister to come and help me, which was such a great blessing. So
many times through the years I have seen such very thoughtful gestures extended
to me or others, and I knew that they were done just out of real love and
sacrificial concern.
I remember one year when I was invited to
stay with Mama while Peter and other leaders were gone to a Summit meeting. I
was very touched at the time to see how simply Mama and Dad lived. Mama was so
cheerful and enthusiastic about the work and concerned about others, even
though her eyes were causing her a lot of trouble. She was not engrossed with
herself and her woes. Actually, I was surprised at how "handicapped"
she was at the time, yet always praiseful, bubbling with new ideas, giving her
all to the work, and always talking about the need of the work or some
situation or Family member. (Thank the Lord her health has greatly improved
since then!)
I treasured the times when she and I
would go out on walks together in the evening, and she would spend half of the
time just praying for people and situations, for the leaders involved in the
Summit meetings, for them to get their instruction from the Lord etc. She
didn’t come across as someone full of herself and her own ideas-she was eager
to hear what I had to say about all kinds of subjects. I know it greatly
impressed me and caused me to be very desperate to really pray so that I would
not misrepresent people or situations. Her sample of concern for others and of
desperation did really make me want to come back a better, more dedicated and
prayerful leader myself.
Along the same lines of truly caring for
people, I remember Dad being so moved for a dear lady in France who was showing
us a house for rent. He was looking at this very nice estate she was offering,
and he could have been mostly concerned for his personal security and
selahness, but the Lord really touched his heart and he started witnessing to
this lady, as well as praying for her, giving a short prophecy. It was awesome for
me, but it was not weird at all and the lady was deeply touched, it was so
beautiful in the spirit. He was moved and cared for her more than for his own
needs or what she might think of him!
Mama and Peter have certainly proven
their love, concern, and dedication by having Peter travel months out of every
year at great personal cost and sacrifice, spending hours away from home,
visiting different fields, listening to the brethren, hosting meetings, drawing
out people's opinions and ideas, getting a personal feel for situations and
ministries, all because of their desperation to make the Family the best place
possible to serve Jesus. They have certainly been to me samples of leaders who
do care and get involved!
Though I am very aware that we as a Family
and as a movement need to progress in many areas, I believe in this Family, in
its potential, and its special place in God's plan, and that it is what it is
because of the Lord and Dad, Mama and Peter’s leadership. Our Family is
something so beautiful, so precious, so worth fighting for! The Family reaches
people that others have not managed to reach. When people visit our Homes, they
know there is something different and they are touched by the spirit of David.
So it is extremely sad to me when those who
choose another path turn around and try to stop the good work that’s being
done. They can’t help but acknowledge that we have wonderful people, many doing
a great job reaching parts of the world like no others can, that the fruit is
good, the “people” are good, but just like Dad said in the Letter “The Tree,”
they want to prove that it’s the leadership that is bad. All I see Mama
and Peter doing is trying to encourage the Family to do a better job of
preaching the Gospel while we still can, to make disciples of all nations, to
lay down our lives for others and help those who are in distress, both
physically and spiritually! By their fruits you shall know them, and those who
are indeed following the method and the message put forth by Mama and Peter are
doing a wonderful work and are held in high esteem and are sought after in many
places.
There is so much more to do to bring the
Gospel Light into this world, that it’s very sad when someone who leaves abases
himself to turn around and attack those whom he worked and lived with for so
many years. I'm so glad that Mama and Peter choose to live and let live and to
stay on the wall in order to help the Family do a better job for Jesus while
there is still time!
* * *
My Reply to
the Accusations Against Mama and Peter
By Dust,
Mexico
Having read this most recent attack on
the Family and its leadership, and against Mama and Peter in particular, I feel
especially compelled to reply to the accusations which have been made against
Mama and Peter personally. These are assaults on their character, on their mode
of operation as leaders and shepherds. These are attacks even against the
motives of their hearts. They are very condemning and accusatory.
Because I have had the privilege of
knowing both Mama and Peter personally for a number of years, I feel compelled
to address these attacks and to express from my own personal experience how I
see these things and what my relationship and experience has been with Mama and
Peter. I know there are many other issues which come under attack in James’
letter, but rather than address these in the following commentary, I feel led
to simply tell you how I perceive Mama and Peter to be, based on my own
firsthand knowledge.
I first came to know Peter over 12 years
ago in Japan. I also met Dad and Mama at that time. I lived with Peter together
in a little house situated across the street from the HCS. This was for a
period of about two months, during which time Peter and I worked together on a
number of projects and I was his constant companion and partner during that
time period. I was there primarily because I had been a field shepherd and
missionary and I was being considered for placement on the leadership team that
was overseeing Japan at the time.
To put it bluntly, I was under scrutiny,
as Peter was taking this opportunity to get to know me to see whether I should
be given this leadership position. At the same time I also had opportunity to
size up and get to know Peter and other members of WS who were around at the
time. I remember clearly how impressed I was by Peter’s warmth, love, and
downright friendliness, as well as that of others from WS who were there. I
thought they were wonderful, caring people, and I still do to this day!
I met Mama and Dad during that time, but only
briefly. But I’d like to add that I was in no way disappointed with either of
them. By the way, I sat in a meeting with Dad and I can only say that my
impression is that he was definitely “the real deal” and was every bit the
prophet and king portrayed in the Letters, but with wonderful love and warmth.
Since that first meeting with Peter and
spending those several weeks together with him, I’ve had opportunity to spend a
great deal of time with him on various projects throughout the years. I have
traveled with him, witnessed together with him, conferred and counseled with
him on a wide variety of issues and topics. I’ve had many personal times of
heart sharing, as well as friendly walks, talks, and many laughs and all that
goes into what I consider to be one of the most meaningful and loving
friendships that I have in this life.
I’ve seen Peter in action in witnessing
to academics, filmmakers, reporters and the like. I’ve been with him in
meetings with Fellow members, leaders of former member factions, friends and
others. I attended the Laurel Fellowship with Peter and Gary in 1996, at which
time I saw Peter apologize to many former Family members and then wash their
feet. I have absolutely no doubt as to the sincerity of his apology, which was
delivered on behalf of Mama and the Family, nor of the sincerity of his actions
in washing the feet of those from whom he asked forgiveness.
So it is that I would say that I know Peter
quite well, even though after each period of time that I would spend together
with Peter, usually for a month or two out of each year for the past 12 years
at Summit meetings and other events and projects, I would return to my field
and my responsibilities as a Family shepherd.
Going back to that first meeting in Japan
some 12 years ago, I was struck by Peter’s down-to-earth friendly manner. He
simply had a lot of love and cared about people. I found him to be just a
regular guy with his share of personal weaknesses, and yet I also saw a man who
in spite of his weaknesses and personal shortcomings was being greatly used by
the Lord. I think this was at least in part because of his honesty and humility
in being willing to confess his own sins and shortcomings. Contrary to any
effort to try to preserve his image and reputation, I saw him time and again
confess his faults, ask for prayer, and use his own battles and lessons to help
and encourage others.
I also saw firsthand his determination to
go on for the Lord and to be what God could make him to be. Since that time,
over the years I’ve found Peter to be just that-a regular guy who God has taken
and made of him a vessel, a servant, a wise and humble leader. Peter is a man
who genuinely loves people, loves to be with them, a real likeable and honest
fellow. I have great respect for Peter because I’ve seen the Lord’s anointing
upon him and I have respect for the station that God has given him. But because
he is such a warm and loving man, I have been tempted at times to take him for
granted. He is definitely not one who wears his authority in a way that would
impose it upon others nor intimidate. I have never seen him use his position
for his own purposes, neither misuse the power of his position in any way.
When reading the letter from James Penn
attacking Mama and Peter and Family doctrine and policies, I couldn’t help but
notice that this man is a very good writer. As I read, I considered his points
of view. My heart went out to him as I tried to understand his position and
where he was coming from. He seemed to be tormented and struggling. As I read
and considered each point, I thought to myself, “Oh yes, I suppose there is
some validity to what he is saying regarding past mistakes made in the Family and
by the Family. In fact, I’m all too familiar with these and I wish such
mistakes had never been made. I wish that no one had ever been hurt, and I
certainly wish that these court cases had never taken place, and that our Homes
had never been raided, nor our children taken from us for a time by force. I
wish to God that none of these things had happened.” Concerning mistreatment
and lack of love by some Family leadership, I personally feel heartbroken that
such things ever happened, and I joined Peter in apologizing to many former
members for such failures and mistakes by some Family leadership. I personally
have had to apologize for my own mistakes along these lines. I’m very sorry for
these.
But when the writer of this letter came
out against Mama and Peter, he completely lost me. These are two people who I
know personally and who I deeply love and admire for their love and other
qualities, which are totally opposite of the descriptions in James’ letter.
These two are my friends, my co-workers, and my shepherds. In fact, we are
mated together forever! How’s that for a little “strange truth”!
The description of them in James’ letter
is far from anything that I have ever seen or experienced in either Mama or
Peter. In fact, it’s hard to believe that this letter is speaking of the same
two people. This is where this fellow lost me.
It wasn’t on the past charges against the
Family, although I don’t agree with him. But rather it was his assertions
against Mama and Peter that caused me to reject what he was saying. This is
also what exposed the real intent of his letter. From what I can tell, the real
motive of this letter is to try to derail Family members from their faith and
calling to serve the Lord in the Family. That’s a serious responsibility for this
guy to take upon himself. It’s one thing to decide to leave the Family for
whatever reason, but then to turn around and try to persuade others to leave
their calling is taking on a lot. I wonder if he has counted the cost of this
responsibility. I personally feel called by God to be in the Family. That
calling hasn’t changed in 30 years. Should I now leave the Family because a
former member is throwing “sticks and stones” at Mama and Peter? I just don’t
buy it!
This is not the Peter that I know and
have lived and worked with over the years, and who I have grown to deeply love
and respect. It’s simply not the same person!
I’ve also had the pleasure of meeting
Mama, visiting her at her Home for several weeks and spending a good amount of
time in close conversation with her about many things. I’ve also met Mama at
other times. Here again I must say that the descriptions of Mama given in
James’ letter are as if they were written about an entirely different person.
Mama is the kind of person who is “what
you see is what you get.” She lives the words that she preaches, and I have
seen her to be a living sample of exactly what is portrayed in the GNs. If
there is any one characteristic about Mama that has stood out to me, it’s her
undying, almost relentless love for the Family and God’s sheep that drives her
to lay down her life for others. I have not known her to in any way take power
to herself or insist on having her own way. In fact, Mama goes to great lengths
to counsel with others and assimilate their input. As a leader, she is also one
who goes to great lengths to garner input from the grass roots. Contrary to
what the letter says about Mama, I’ve never seen her seek power for herself,
trying to control others.
Nearly a year ago I was removed from
leadership as a CRO. I suppose that James would say it was because I wasn’t “on
board” or had fallen from Mama and Peter’s graces and favor. That’s not the
case. Although my demotion from a leadership position has been very difficult
for me, I never doubted Mama and Peter’s love for me. I have had no reason to
doubt! I testify that both Mama and Peter have been nothing but kind and loving
in every way. They have followed up on me personally to encourage me to keep
going for Jesus as a missionary. They have prayed for me, sent me prophecies
that have strengthened me when I had no strength, and did all that they could
to uphold me before the Lord. They have assured me of their love in spite of
the mistakes and failures for which I was removed. For that I’m so very thankful.
In fact, I’m very thankful for this Family and my place in it, and I’m
especially thankful for Mama and Peter. I’m convinced that leadership of the
Family is in the best of hands.
* * *
The Startling
Truth!-I shan’t be fooled!
By Luke, WS
Today I heard some alarming news. Not
only am I a cult member, but I have been informed that I am a member of a cult
within a cult! I am no less than a double cultist. As you could imagine, I
rushed to the mirror to see what manner of monster I had become.
“Look at you, you double cultist,” I
sneered at my reflection. “How could you descend to such levels?”
My reflection stared back sullenly. This
was indeed a bad day. And the news just kept getting worse!
Not only was I double cultist, but it seems everyone I lived with was one too. And worse than that, I read that two people I love and admire were no longer loveable and admirable, but they were mean, nasty types who craved power and wanted to manipulate me, and after using me as grist in the WS mill, they were going to twist me into a … wait for it. Drum roll! A PRETZEL!
This was diabolical chicanery at its
highest! I was going to become a snack to be washed down with beer. Or maybe I
was going to be served up as some new and wicked cocktail. A double cultist
with a twist.
Eyes open, Luke. You don’t know whom to
trust now! I stopped to consider my options. But how can I even do that? I am
not only a double cultist, but I am apparently mindless as well, so how can I
even consider if I have no mind to consider with? The situation was dire
indeed. Aside from not having a mind, it seems that I also need to wake up and
grow a brain.
I stared despairingly towards the
kitchen. Was that a vapor trail I just saw? Perhaps I’ll put some white sugar
cubes in the cupboard tonight and see if I see it again. I shook my head but
stopped mid shake.
“Best be careful!” I cautioned myself.
“If I am brainless and mindless, I’d better take care of whatever is up there,
as from what I hear it must not be much!”
But back to the people I was referring to
earlier. Gee, I thought they were nice. Boy, I must be dumb. I’ve only known
Peter now off and on for about 20 years, and Mama personally for more than
five. They must be really good at hiding all this nastiness that they’ve been
accused of. What was that big word that was used? Pernicious! That’s worse than
nasty. That’s really big-time mean and nasty! How do they hide it, I wonder?
Seems every time I see them they’re smiling and kind. My goodness, they even
laugh at my jokes. (That’s Christian graces at their highest.) And how did Mama
fake those tears in her eyes when she was praying for those sick folks the
other day? That must have really hurt, too, knowing how her eyes have been so
painful for the last 15 years.
How come she’s so cheerful nearly all the
time? Oh, I know! She must be cheerful because she is so happy she has
hoodwinked us. Yes, that makes a lot of sense. Yet still she is so sincere it
seems. This is really contradictory. I wonder why she’s so concerned about
people in the Family to the point that she wants me and the others here to take
a prayer vigil every day and pray for those who are sick or going through tough
times? I know-it’s because she’s a control freak, and she’s trying to control
everything so everyone won’t have sickness or be unhappy. Oh my, what a
terrible motive. I don’t know how someone figured out that the control factor
was in her blood though.
And as for Peter, well, if he is so
greedy and craving power and might, why on Earth doesn’t he buy some better
slippers to replace the ones his toes are popping out of? I mean, gee! And why
would he have pubbed all that stuff about himself battling jealousy and almost
having a breakdown over it. That seems really odd. Heck, if I were him, I would
be tooting my horn about how good I was doing. Yeah, maybe I’d write a long
letter to some non-existent people extolling my own righteousness and how I
threw myself in front of buses, or perhaps it was Bigfoot, in order to have my
point of view prevail.
Nevertheless, next time I see Mama with
her mountain of tapes of reports, letters, pubs and prophecies that she has to
listen to on high speed because if she listened on normal speed there wouldn’t
be time in the day (listening of course because she cannot use her eyes to read
all but the briefest note), I will no longer be fooled that she is laying down
her time and life for the sheep to listen to their pleas, hear the state of the
Family, prayerfully go over the pubs, or rejoicing over the Lord’s Words. No,
she is cleverly (and as yet in ways I have failed to detect) laying down the
sheep for her life. I will be watching closely.
And Peter too, with his 10,000 mail notes
in his inbox (yes, even though he plows through them by the hundreds, still
they come in by the thousands. Sort of David in reverse. Peter has answered his
thousands, but the Family has written their tens of thousands!) and the myriad
of meetings and Family business he has to attend to, and the admonishments to
me and others, sometimes with tears in his eyes, that with any bright new idea
we come up with to make the Family better, that we always need to put ourselves
in the shoes of those who have it toughest in the Family, like the poor single
mom who is having a struggle making ends meet, and see how our bright new idea
is going to affect them, whether it’s going to make life harder or easier for
them. No, I shan’t be fooled.
Also, I would not publish such stuff
about Loving Jesus if I were king. I mean, we were this close from finally getting
on the plate of system Christianity. Yes, after winning all those court cases
and showing that we were not the nasty types we had been portrayed as, Peter
and Mama published Loving Jesus of all things. I mean, we could have been
accepted, even popular. All those strange-truth type of things left behind and
just rosy days of System popularity lying ahead-and then they blow it all off!
Gosh, you’d think if they were in it for power and money that they would have
more smarts than that.
But no, they went ahead and took what the
Bible said about us being the Bride of Christ and all that, and then, of all
the crazy things, they took it to its logical conclusion, and presto-chango!
Well, you know the rest, and I found myself with a whole new side of me that I
frankly didn’t know before. I thought I was off to the bridegroom’s bachelor
party but found myself at the altar instead. Shockeroo! But a bride is a bride
is a bride. Not much I could do about that and after a while … Well …
My goodness, what a weird place they are
turning the Family into. I mean, on top of it all, telling us that we should
all hear from God ourselves is very odd. Imagine what that means. Ultimately
they are trying to do themselves out of a job. Such diabolical deviousness is
unparalleled! Do they want to retire after putting a lifetime of blood, sweat,
tears and prayer into this movement or something? Apparently it must be very
bad to allow such a degree of self-determination.
I am sure now that their insisting on me
asking the Lord about everything has extremely sinister implications. I mean,
what an insult to my intelligence to imply that I wouldn’t know better than God
how to do things. It must be a part of that manipulating thing that when I ask
them questions they often say to me to “go and ask the Lord” and then to go
ahead with what He shows me. The real crazy thing, though, is that I see them
asking Him questions and following His answers, even if contrary to their
previously stated opinions.
And next time they send me a prophecy
that they asked someone to get with some encouragement or guidance for me, I am
going to be on guard. “Don’t cudgel me with that prophecy,” I’ll insist. “I
know what you’re doing and I won’t have any more of that love and comfort
stuff. No more torrents of the Lord’s Words for me. Why, you are just debasing
the wonderful gift of prophecy by saying that the Lord can talk so volubly. The
Lord wouldn’t talk like that to those of us He loved so much to die for. No
siree. My eyes have been opened!”
And all those spirit helpers! I mean, who
needs them? And worse yet, who would want them? Why would anyone in their right
mind want spiritual beings dedicated to helping and guiding them? Nope, no more
friendly ghosts to help in the spiritual warfare. I mean, who in God’s Earth
would want spirits on their side to help fight the battles in the spirit?
No, by golly! No more bizarre new-wine
laced stories and novels for me either. I mean, look how bizarre all those
Heaven’s Library stories and books are. Stories about talking mice and turtles.
I mean, that is enough to make Winnie the Pooh roll over in his grave. (Oh, I’m
sorry, Pooh isn’t dead yet.) No, the System wouldn’t stand for animals talking
in kiddie books, let alone ones with good morals. Furthermore, the only things
in Christian cartoons that can talk now are vegetables. As for those novels
about missionaries in China or people dedicating themselves to the service of
mankind in other ways, or even just plain old adventure stories that somehow
bring in the power of prayer and of God, why, bizarre is the only word I can
think of, besides, perhaps, inspiring, faith building, recreational, enjoyable,
… (perhaps this would make a good David Komic comic)!
And why on Earth are all these young
people staying in the Family, and even here in WS, for crying out loud? Why
don’t they want to just nod their heads every morning on the morning commute,
but instead demand to prophesy; love listening to hours of GNs, and, in fact,
get many of the prophecies contained therein; say "hail Jesus;" have
received an interesting and diverse education, been exposed to different
cultures and often converse freely in more than one language; lived in a style
equivalent to the well-off in many countries in spite of living a life of
faith; have sacrificed a good measure of personal freedom to spend hours
clowning or doing some other type of entertainment for the needy, or even more,
getting their hands dirty to help in humanitarian work; have mingled with all
levels of society at large; sacrificially looked after other people's children;
lived in an environment where they don’t have to worry about AIDS; heard from
those in the next life, including MO, the best friendly ghost around; and have
deep intimate relationships with the Creator of the universe. Gee, I wonder
why?
But never fear, alert readers. I will no
longer be walking about with eyes clouded to the truth. No, siree! I will not
just be taking at face value the care and compassion with which Peter and Mama
watch over the Family. Yes, their deeper motives of an unbridled passion for
Jesus, their careful and prayerful love for each Family member, and their
desire and conviction to fulfill the great commission to go into all the world
and make disciples of all nations and to help the Family woo and win as many
souls as possible into the Kingdom of Heaven will not go unnoticed, but will be
gleefully exposed and shown up for what it really is!
* * *
My Years in
the King and Queen’s House
By Amy (of
Gabe), Mama’s Home
“How is it that My Word brings such
great joy and uplifting to some, and to others it brings heaviness? Is it
not the same water? Is it not the same truth? But in one it is received and in
the other it is rejected. It is a battle of the heart and it is a battle
of the mind.” (Prophecies on Doubts, ML #3041)
I must say I had to laugh at some of the
things James Penn wove into his letter. If it were not such a serious attack on
my Family and my life, it would be absolutely absurd! But the sad thing is, he
is dead serious in what he feels and what he has presented to so many in this
vicious attack. Why am I so surprised? Even Jesus said the time will come that
some will kill us, thinking they do God service, so a little slander and lying
shouldn’t come as such a shock to me.
I guess the reason it’s such a shock is
that I remember James as my friend, as someone I used to fellowship with, live
with, work with, and yes, love with. For all his talk of the horrible practices
in our Family, he was perfectly happy and content during the years that I knew
and lived with him. I don’t know what happened and I can’t judge and won’t, but
I can say, I was in the same place at the same time as he was and saw the same
things he did. We lived with Dad and Mama and Peter for many years together and
I have to say that I certainly don’t review history as he does. It’s pretty
amazing to me that he can turn around and stab in the back people he loved and
knew and people who loved him dearly and who never failed to give him all that
they could, in love and care and who were his very personal family at the time.
Maybe others have experienced this when
friendships have ended. It’s amazing how love can turn to hate, and I will
never understand how this happens, but it saddens me very deeply to have this
attack on my Family spread to whoever will listen. I would encourage anyone who
has heard his rendition of history to please keep your minds open. I’ve lived
through 16 or 17 years of “history” with Dad, Mama and Peter, and I have a very
different tale to tell. When I first came to live with the folks in 1982, I
cooked Dad and Mama’s meals and had lots of sweet contact with them. How can
people so cruel be so kind? They never ever failed to thank me, to hug me, and
to ask me about myself personally for years and years. Did they do this because
I was so “in there” and being so “good”?
Believe me, there were many, many times
that I had my battles and that I was certainly no saint, but rather a weak
human being, simply trying to do my best, but do I remember them ostracizing me
for the times I was not “in there”? Of course not! What I recall was having
dear friends in Peter, Mama, and yes, Dad. They cared for me as a member of
their personal family, just as you would your flesh children. If your kids are bad
or good, you love them unconditionally, and that is certainly the treatment
I’ve received from the folks for all the years I’ve known them.
If your mom or dad had to correct you, it
probably was never nice and you didn’t want it to happen, but they were your
parents and loved you, and what they did, they did for your good. If Dad, Mama
or Peter have had to correct anyone over the years, that is always the way I’ve
seen them operate. They’ve had love and mercy over and over and over again. I
should know. After helping in the kitchen for years, I became part of the
teamwork of their Home. Do you think I didn’t hear from them the “inside scoop”
of how they felt about people who had problems? Of course I did. And let me
tell you, the mercy that Mama and Peter have had on people, consistently, is
truly a reflection of the Lord’s mercy. I have learned so much about love and
mercy and the care of the sheep through their sample.
What happens when someone in our Home has
problems? What happens when someone isn’t “in there”? I can tell you, because
I’ve experienced this for years now. It really offends me that James would say
the folks don’t care about people, when I would say that one of their greatest
strengths is their love for the sheep. Why on Earth would they sacrifice every
day of their personal lives to serve others? Why would they spend countless
hours in prayer and working on the Words for our Family if they were selfish
and only wanted power and control? Why would they spend hours and hours of
counseling and prayer in trying to help someone overcome their problems, often
at the expense of time spent getting out the Word, if they weren’t trying to
help people? Don’t you think they’d find some method that was a little more
lucrative in order to have their “control and power”? What do they get in
return for their laboring to help others? They are not lavish nor do they live
in riches as so many accused Dad of doing. They have everything they need, but
when you compare them to any head of any organization or company, they look
like paupers.
If they wanted control of people, then
they’d go about things completely differently, believe me. They certainly
wouldn’t live with a bunch of people communally, sharing what they have with
everyone and being a dear father and mother to their personal little flock. Why
would they waste time trying to get control of people? What does control profit
them? What do they manipulate our Family to do? Preach the Gospel? Do CTPs?
Love one another? Good grief! Anyone with a brain can read the Letters and see
that the constant overwhelming theme is to reach the lost, follow up on the
sheep, get out the Words, care for the sheep, love people. Are Peter and Mama
writing the Family and telling them they have to give them more money, more control,
more what? Of course not! Letter after letter is encouraging people to use
their own talents and gifts to do as much as they can for the Lord. They’re
encouraging us over and over and over again to use our connection with the Lord
to hear from Him and get His instructions for our own lives.
Where is the truth to these accusations
raised against Mama and Peter? I live with them, I know them
intimately-certainly much better than almost anybody does. I just can’t fathom
such far-fetched stories and tales. And we’re accused of getting weird tales
from our other-worldly friends? This letter from James is a great stab at
historical fiction, well written, interesting, full of great details, but SO
fictionalized and colored by the tainted views of the author. Yes, history did
happen, but the fiction woven into it is really outlandish.
To say Dad manipulated the Family for his
own purposes is just the wildest thing I’ve heard! Dad, whose every breath
given was for others, for reaching the lost, for spreading the Word. James must
have seen the hours Dad spent in giving of himself for the good of others, not
for his own gain, nor for his own purposes. Where was James when Dad was
praying for the lost and getting out the Word to encourage us in the Family to
do the same? Go back and read the Letters. Was Dad trying to get more control
over people? Look at how many Letters Dad wrote to try to get people to connect
with the Lord, to be indigenous, to reach the lost, to go into all the world
and preach the Gospel. Is his fruit an example of someone who was trying to
keep control, or someone who was constantly trying to get us to look to the
Lord and to do something for Jesus?
I really am disgusted at people who try to
tear down others who are doing their best to do good. That’s what I don’t
understand fully about those who leave the Family. If they go on in another
branch of the Lord’s service, or if they get a job and do whatever they want to
do, I don’t go maligning them or speaking badly about them. Why do they have to
do so to us?
I see Mama and Peter every morning taking
quiet time, I hear them praising the Lord, looking to Him in yieldedness to His
will, seeking for His strength to do what they can to help me and the Family be
all we can be for Jesus. Is this their crime? Is it a weirdness that they want
to follow Jesus closely? Is it so strange that they would encourage all of us
around them to do the same?
Now if I saw Mama and Peter doing some of
the things James says they do, I too would be very upset. But the fact is, I am
here, and I see Mama and Peter, I talk to them, I debate issues with them. Do
they tell me to be quiet and give me a prophecy telling me that I should think
like them? Of course not! I talk to them regularly about people’s needs, trials
and victories, but I don’t hear them telling me to get prophecies to manipulate
people’s lives. If this is in reality what they are like, why wouldn’t I be
privy to this since I am so close to them? The only conclusion I can come to
is: that’s not how they operate!
What I do hear them give is counsel on
how to help people get their answers from the Lord. I do hear them say to seek
the Lord about the most loving and best way to help someone. I do not hear them
spending their time talking about people who have left our ranks, and railing
on and on about them. That’s not what Mama and Peter are like, and if people
don’t know that by now, they must not be reading the Letters.
The Letters are a reflection of the love
Mama and Peter have for our dearest Love, Jesus. I truly see daily that they
deeply love the Lord, and that is their motivation in life, to do all they can
to love, help, and heal. Why are people whose purpose is the opposite of this
so intent on hindering us in what we want to do? I love the Family. I love Mama
and Peter more than I could ever express, because they’re my friends. We’ve
been together for years and years-through good times, bad times, and all times.
Their love for me has been unconditional, as was Dad’s. I just don’t get it.
Why do people slander and libel them and us? Personally, I don’t want to spend
any more time thinking about it. We’ve got a job to do and we’re going to keep
on doing it, regardless of the fiery darts of persecution or smears from
anyone. We’ve got too much to do to spend our precious time giving heed to
these fables and tales.
One thing I’d like to mention also is the
subject of pressure or manipulation to be “in there” doing the right thing.
I’ll tell you-I feel pressured, I feel used-and do you know Who pressures me,
Who uses me?-The Lord! Of course I feel pressure to live a Godly life, to live
my life for others, to give as He has given to me. Jesus and His Holy Spirit
manipulate me and my life. He tells me what to do. Imagine that?! That was my
choice when I decided to live for Jesus. Did you get that? FOR Jesus? I don’t
want to live for myself, I want to live for Jesus.
Now can I blame Mama and Peter if they
would happen to tell me something that is in God’s Word and that is the truth,
if it pressures me? Well, that would be the easy way out, to blame them for
trying to make me do something I didn’t want to do. But the fact is, it’s the
Lord that wants me to do something, not Peter, not Mama, not my mate, not my
friends. The pressure I feel at times is His conviction in my heart to be the
best I can for Him. Just because my friend gives me their opinion and it’s the
same as what the Lord shows me, should I blame them for trying to run my life,
to control it, to manipulate me?
Sometimes I don’t want to do what the
Lord tells me to do, and I’m sorry about that, I’m not perfect. But I’ve never
been judged by Mama, nor by Peter, nor by Dad for getting off track, and I’ve
certainly not been manipulated, coerced, or forced by them to do anything. If
you know me at all, you know how hard it is to force me to do something I don’t
want to do or that I don’t personally feel is what the Lord wants me to do. I’m
a very stubborn person and I even put up a fight with the Lord sometimes. But
this has not changed the folks’ unconditional love for me, nor their respect
for me, nor their trust in me. Yes, they’ve shot straight with me and told me
what they felt, but they’ve done so as my friends, as those who love me and care
about my soul, not as hirelings!
There have been times I’ve disagreed with
them and even argued with them and vented my frustration about things, but they
have never retaliated. They are some of the most open-minded people I know, who
listen to not only me, but to everyone’s opinion that wants to share it with
them. Why would they want to hear from you and give you an address to write
them if they didn’t care about what you thought? They don’t only take counsel
from those who agree with them. I certainly don’t always agree, and when I
bring up the other side of a matter, I don’t get shot down. They may be human
and have their weaknesses, but their strengths far, far outweigh those times
when they may not be perfect. But I have to honestly say, those times are few
and far between.
Look around you. Is the Family really a
place where people have to do what they’re told even if they don’t want to? I
think we should give our folks more credit than that. They have wonderful works
for the Lord, and families and Homes that are really doing something for Jesus.
Do you really think that is the fruit of people having to do what they’re told
even if they don’t agree? I think there’s a lot more leeway in our Family to do
what you have the faith for than in most businesses or jobs in the System. If
you don’t get with the program at your job in the System, for the most part,
you just lose your job. In the Family we have all sorts of individuality in
serving the Lord. People are free to follow Him as their faith runs.
Who is forcing anyone to do what Mama and
Peter want them to do? Lots of people have stepped out of the Family and are
perfectly happy. Lots of people are in the Family and are perfectly happy. So
what is the problem here? There are a lot of wonderful young people who are
challenged and really doing something for the Lord. There are others who have
left and we certainly are learning how to make things easier for them as well.
Why would Mama and Peter make up some story telling our Family to show unconditional
love to them if they didn’t mean it? Really. What good would it do them and why
would they spend time on something like this unless they meant it and really
loved folks?
Do you think it’s easy to be behind the
scenes day after day publishing Letters? Do you think the hours and hours Mama
spends listening to her tapes and hearing from the Family is an easy job? Do
people even realize how little recreation Mama has, simply because she loves
her work, she loves to hear what’s happening in the Family, she loves to ask
the Lord for help for them, she loves to seek the Lord and find solutions for
them. How much time do you think she spends on herself? Or Peter for that
matter?
Why would he keep up his work if he
didn’t feel it made a difference in this world for Jesus? Don’t you think he’d
much rather be on some sunny isle drinking piña coladas, rather than working so
hard to “manipulate and control” the Family so that he can have what?-His basic
needs? Anyone who has a brain can see and tell that the folks put their time
into truly helping the Family out of love for them, love for the lost, and love
for our dearest and most precious Love, Jesus. This is truth.
Just today, I chanced upon a Letter
during my personal Word time, and I think this challenge from Jesus is a
challenging end to my rambling thoughts:
More Thoughts
from the Lord on Doubts!
(Prophecy:) Be not buffeted about by the Enemy. It is the Enemy's
tempestuous winds and foul breeze of doubts and stench of lies trying to cloud
your mind, trying to besmirch the purity of My Word. As My Word says, I am not
the Author of confusion, so know these troubles come from Satan. Therefore,
raise up a standard, block out his lies with the windshield of My Holy Spirit.
You can of yourself do nothing, but run to Me, your strong Tower, to shield you
and keep you safe. Rest in Me, and I will overcome the Wicked One and quell his
blustery lies that buffet you and trouble you. I will calm you and stay you
through this time of stormy trial. (End of prophecy.)
* * *
I Could Write
a Book on All the Good!
By Gallio,
CRO, EURCRO
Dear fellow
Family brothers and sisters,
My name is Gallio and I have been in the
Family for nearly 30 years. During that time I have seen many Family members
come and go, from normal Home members to top leaders. I have read negative
comments and accusations about the Family and Dad from many sources, both
within and without the Family. I have lived and worked in many areas of the
world. My jobs in the Family have ranged from mechanic, camp manager, driver,
visiting shepherd, school teacher and overseer, teen home shepherd, area
shepherd, and so on, to Continental officer, and then back down the line again,
and up again, several times over.
During my time in the Family I have lived
and worked under many shepherds, some very wise and loving, others not so. I
have shepherded others and many have lived and worked under me-some happily,
some not so happily. But through all of this, I would have to claim the verse
that Paul expressed in the Epistles, "None of these things moved me."
Oh, I had my share of doubts, battles,
discouragement, fear, worry, trials, and tests, but it was the Word that always
pulled me through-generally a simple verse from our once-famous set card, or
some other New Testament verse. You see, my allegiance was to Jesus-He was the
One I wanted to follow. He was the One I was seeking so many years ago, and He
was the One I followed right into the fold of David. I have no doubt that this
is where I’m called to be. I've made my calling and election sure, as the
scripture says, and it's here I will stay, by the grace of God, until the day
comes that Jesus shows me to do otherwise.
The first MO Letter I ever read made
absolutely no sense to me, as I was so high on drugs I could hardly see to read
in the first place. But it was the Spirit that bore witness and I said to
myself that whoever wrote these words sure knows the Lord. The next day I set
out to find the source of those words and was miraculously led to the Family.
Since that day, I have read, cherished, lived by, and embraced the Words of
David, which I firmly believe are the Words of God's Endtime prophet.
My first step into the Family was based
on a spiritual experience. Since then I have learned to follow the Spirit, through
reading the Bible and the MO Letters, and have learned of the struggle between
the old man and the new man. Pride has been my biggest enemy, and humility my
friend, whose "wounds have been faithful" over the years. All that to
say, that I am here by choice, by the conviction of the Spirit, because I
believe that this is where I'm supposed to be, and not because I'm afraid to
leave, or feel coerced to stay.
Now I have been saddened to read comments
from a former member who degrades Dad's legacy and heritage with vengeful words
that I would rather not repeat. To me they seem to be the words spoken from
someone who has their eyes firmly fixed on the flesh, not the spirit, and who
appears to be in the "gall of bitterness." Perhaps I'm being
presumptuous, but I would like to claim to be a part of that legacy and
heritage that is being dragged through the mud. All that I am today I owe to
Jesus, the Words of David, and our Family. It greatly saddens me to hear
someone make cheap of that heritage which I hold dear.
It has also saddened me to read of the
unkind words spoken about Mama and Peter, two people who I love and respect,
and recognize as some of God's anointed leaders in these Last Days. I only met
Dad fleetingly in Japan once, so I can't speak with much authority as to what
he was like on a daily basis. I have worked with Mama and Peter over the years,
though, and have from time to time, visited and lived in their Home for weeks,
and sometimes several months at a time.
Though certainly human, and far from
perfect in the flesh, I find it hard to reconcile with the personal sample I
have seen that they are guilty of, or even capable of tactics that, as one
former member wrote, "control, manipulate, intimidate, bully, and belittle
people." I played high school football and I know what it means to
be controlled, manipulated, intimidated, bullied, and belittled. I attended
university and joined a fraternity and I know what it means to be controlled,
manipulated, intimidated, bullied, and belittled. I have worked at many jobs
outside of the Family and know what it means to be controlled, manipulated,
intimidated, bullied, and belittled by my boss and other workers. Believe me,
never, even in the furthest stretch of my imagination, have I seen Mama and Peter
employ such tactics.
There has been mention, too, that Mama
and Peter exhibited less than admirable character during times of persecution.
Here's an excerpt from a letter of a former member:
"In my
years of closely working with Mo, Maria, and Peter, especially during the
persecution of the early 1990's, I came to see them not as the loving, anointed
leaders and shepherds of the end-time army of David, but rather as abusive,
controlling, manipulative, self-centered, deceitful, and callous leaders who were
willing to do just about anything to save their reputations and preserve their
image.”
Well, I spent three months living and
working with Peter in Paris just after the French raids in 1993. Our little
team was struggling under extreme pressure, difficult physical conditions, and
heavy spiritual battles, doing all we could to try to get our kids out of
detention and stand up for what was right. Dad sent Peter into the thick of the
battle, right to the front lines to do all he could to help the situation. In
my opinion, Peter was anything but "self-centered, deceitful, and
callous!"
The first few nights, Peter and I spent
sleeping on the living room floor of a tiny Paris one-bedroom flat. Later we
moved to another place where we could work better-and work we did-often through
the day and until 3:00 a.m., writing rebuttals, praying, counseling, and
reading legal transcripts. Peter was an integral part of our team and we were
all fighting for our Family members in bonds. I find it contemptible that anyone
would throw mud on Peter's motives or personal performance during that trying
and crucial battle.
On numerous occasions I've sat in prayer
and counsel with Peter about some problem situation, or even problem person.
We've always had open and frank discussions and I've never felt I couldn't say
what I wanted to say, or counter Peter's comments. Even though it was necessary
to talk about the problem, it was never done in a condescending way. The
conversation was always filled with prayer, and all thoughts were committed to
the Lord for His guidance and counsel. I've lived and worked around Peter
enough to have given ample opportunity for any "P.R." front to wear
off and the real Peter to come through. I've never seen Peter wanting to do
anything more than care for the sheep and do what was right, at any cost to
himself or his reputation.
There's been mention, too, of Mama being
a "control freak." I've thought a lot about this and tried to
understand what this meant and what she does that would elicit such a
conclusion as to her character. What came to mind was a recent series of
leadership meetings, a few of which Mama attended. At the beginning of the
meeting, there would be a little "organizational discussion" of who
would sit where, what window would be opened, which light would be on,
etc.-generally conducted by Mama. Now to me, the whole idea was to find the
optimum arrangement in the room so all would be comfortable for the long and
important meeting. This was all carried out in love, with the well being and
concern of each meeting attendee in mind. I guess we could have all just worked
it out ourselves, but it was nice to have Mama leading the way. Is this what a
control freak is? (By the way, Mama hardly spoke in the meetings, allowing the
delegates to have the floor-and most of the ideas were initiated by the
delegates, not Mama.)
On other occasions I have had Mama give
me very explicit guidelines for how to do something-generally a physical task
such as to how to label a tape I made, or where to put the tape, or about the
need to be quiet in the hallway. I guess you could say she was controlling the
situation. Well, my grandmother was a little like that, and I had a friend once
who wanted everything done a certain way, and so on. Are we talking about a
"control freak" or a common personality trait? Are we talking about
"manipulation" or doing all things in decency and order?
As for controlling me or my spirit or my
service for the Lord, I have not experienced that personally from Mama, beyond
her Godly calling and anointing, which I have freely chosen to follow. I have
found Mama to be meek in spirit, like you would imagine Moses to have been. I
have never felt intimidated in her presence. I have never felt uncomfortable
about voicing my opinion to her. I have never felt from Mama a proud, haughty,
or lifted-up spirit, as I have from other former Family leaders, no longer with
us.
I have felt the authority of the Lord in
Mama, for sure, and would have been disappointed if it had been absent. One usually
does feel humble and small (or at least respectful) in the presence of royalty
or dignitaries in any realm of life-unless you are an equal, of which I am not,
or of an opposing spirit, of which I am not.
Now, I really had to laugh when I read
that Mama and Peter control the Family in a negative way. Anyone who would say
that never attended a Summit meeting! It takes an extremely humble, patient,
loving, spirit-filled and anointed person to chair such meetings, which Peter
has done successfully for years. I think I have attended about six Summit
meetings so far, and in every one there have been many opposing opinions freely
aired and discussed. Peter mostly chaired the meetings and did not dictate
them. I think only Jesus and the Holy Spirit could control those meetings!
I could write a book on all the good that
I've seen Mama and Peter do, how so many have benefited from their loving care,
concern, and shepherding. They have personally been a strength and sample to me
of humility and following the Lord at any cost. They have embraced the new day
weapons and Loving Jesus revelation at the risk of losing their reputations and
perhaps losing the whole Family. Why? Because they’re more concerned about
following God than the opinions of men.
I doubt that I would have had the courage
to introduce the newest revelations, realizing that it could wreak havoc
throughout the Family and undo all the good that has been built up over the
years. But having tasted of the New Wine myself, I see that it is good, needed,
and truly from God. Mama and Peter are heroes to me-defenders of the faith in
spite of the battles, willing to lose all for the cause of Christ.
Goodness, if they were so concerned about
their reputation and controlling everything, and were truly self-serving and
all that, then I doubt they would have even spoken a peep about the “Loving
Jesus” revelation or anything like that! After all, they were already queen and
king with a worldwide following, so why rock the boat?
If you ask me, God is in control and Mama
and Peter are His humble and yielded servants. It doesn't take much study of
Church history through the ages, or reading of the old traditional Bible
stories such as Abraham and Isaac, Moses and the children of Israel, the battle
of Jericho, the "eat My flesh and drink My blood" sermon, to see that
God is pretty unconventional and generally goes against the grain of our
natural reasoning. If the Family is to remain pure in Spirit, then you can bet
that we will continue to receive instructions from Heaven that are
unconventional, humbling, and different from the world. I don't think it's the
Family that's gone "weird and wacky"-it's the World that's gone weird
and wacky! Thank God for our safe havens of peace (Homes), even if we aren't perfect.
Thank God for loving shepherds that you can trust and rely on, because you know
they’re following God and not their own plans or program.
* * *
Their
Unforgettable Love for the Japanese
Everything I know and have experienced
and have seen about Mama and Peter, and Dad before too, when I lived with them
years ago, as well as on my visit to Mama and Peter’s Home several years ago,
points to the fact that they are very loving, caring, and concerned shepherds
who put us, their flock, before themselves in every way. Mama doesn’t try to
control people! That’s the furthest thing from the truth! She is faithful to
let you know what the Word says about any subject that’s being discussed, and
she has real conviction towards the Lord and the Word, but she certainly
doesn’t try to force people or control them or their actions!
During the times I spent personally
talking with Mama, I was impressed at how she would sincerely ask me how I felt
about certain issues and she would listen to my ideas about things. When I
shared a trial about something that was happening or how something was done in
the Family, she didn’t try to justify why it had to be done that way, but
instead she would be eager to get any input from the field so she could better
understand the situation. Of course, she would patiently answer my questions,
but not in a “this is the only way it can be done and there’s no point in
arguing or even thinking about anything else”-type of spirit. If anything, I
found her more open to different ideas and ways to look at things than most
Family members I’ve talked to.
Once when I visited, it was right at the
time of the Austin accident, and I personally witnessed her grief over the death
of the people in the accident and her love and concern for Jesse and the
parents and brothers and sisters of those who went to be with the Lord. Those
of us in their Home were called to get together to pray for the brethren in
Austin and the Lord spoke that day and in the days to follow through quite a
few channels. It was so, so beautiful to hear not only what the Lord said to
the families and to dear Jesse who was battling so hard with condemnation, but
to see Mama’s personal love and concern is something I’ll never forget. There’s
no way anybody could tell me that Mama doesn’t love each person in the Family
and that she is in this business for any other reason than because she loves
the Lord and wants to obey Him and because she loves us and wants to help us!
When we would go for Sunday drives in the
country around the HCS, Dad was always happy to enjoy the view and point things
out to Techi and me and teach us about whatever he saw or whatever came to
mind, or he’d ask me questions about the Japanese and their customs. But I
remember Mama, always with her bag of papers that she and Peter would go over
together whenever they had a chance. She was just trying to redeem the time, I
guess, but she would hardly ever take a break because she wanted to keep up
with all the work she had to do for us!
She would often ask about someone by
name, someone that, of course, I knew well because I’d lived in Japan for so
long, but I was always surprised to find out that she also knew them and their
backgrounds very well-not because she’d ever met them, but because she read so
much, and remembered it too!
She and Dad’s love for the Japanese is
something I’ll never forget either! I know Dad was supposed to be
security-minded, but if the Lord told him to witness to somebody he was sure to
do it, or to tell us to do it if they didn’t speak English.
Dad and Mama both gave their lives for us
in Japan. They knew they had to go to Japan in order to get a real taste of the
field and to be able to learn about the people and be a help to us. Because it
was so very, very cold the winter they came to Japan, Dad got very sick. He had
been living in the hot Philippines for quite a while, so it was a big shock to
his system to experience such cold and even snow, which was pretty unusual for
Tokyo. Anyway, I remember after Dad got better he told us that even though at
one point he was so sick he thought he was going to die, it would have been
worth it because he loved the Japanese so much that he felt he had to come here
to Japan even if it killed him. I loved Dad so much for that! I could see his
sincerity in everything he said and did, and Mama and Peter are just the same!
They don’t have any airs or pretences about them, no false fronts; their lives
are whole-heartedly lived in simple service to the Lord.
They didn’t care that they lived in a
small house with hardly even a yard, in the middle of uninspiring Tokyo, during
a very cold winter in a typical Japanese house without very good insulation.
They were just happy they could serve the Lord and help us! I felt so ashamed
sometimes by comparison and resolved to never murmur again about my blessings
when I saw how happy they were with whatever the Lord provided for them!
The last time I visited them it was the
same as far as their physical surroundings. They weren’t living in a fancy
place, in fact not even as nice a house as the kind I’ve been used to living
in-but that really doesn’t matter to them at all! During that time Mama
couldn’t use her eyes, but sometimes we would go for walks with her holding on
to my arm, and we had such sweet fellowship. She hadn’t changed at all, even
though now she was “in charge,” so to speak, since it was after Dad’s
graduation. She wasn’t bossy or demanding or anything like that; she was just
as caring and willing to listen and as open as ever.
I had many walks with Peter too, almost
every other night for a while there, and he would often ask if I had any
questions. So I was free to ask anything, including “Why this?”, and “What
about that?” type of questions. He would answer in such a way that I could tell
how much thought and prayer was put into each decision. Sometimes weeks of
prayer went into decisions that he and Mama made, all because they wanted to be
sure they got it right. Peter and Mama are so desperate to “get it right”
because they don’t want to fail the Lord or us! They don’t take things lightly.
They have a very serious responsibility and fear of the Lord about their
position as leaders of the Family and I truly admire them for their utter
dedication to the Lord and us.
When I read the recent accusations that
Mama is a control freak and that she and Peter bully people into submission, I
almost had to laugh! I can certainly testify that that isn’t true! Recently,
just within the last few months in fact, I went through a major ordeal in my
life (which would be a very long story if I got into all the details), but the
end result was I got to the point that I thought I needed to leave my CRO job
and the CM Family in order to do what I felt the Lord wanted me to do. (It
involved helping my former mate who is a Fellow Member.) I wrote to Mama and
Peter and shared my heart a number of times. I didn’t want to disappoint them
or fail the Lord, but I was pretty convinced that I had to step out of the
mainstream CM Family for a while.
If these accusations about Mama and Peter
trying to control and bully us were true, then I imagine I should have expected
them to write me a letter telling me how “out of it” I was, and ask me, “What
in the world are you thinking?” and give me a “hurry up and get your hand back
on the plough!” type of message. But did they do that? No, they didn’t! They
took time to pray about my situation, and then very sweetly and meekly let me
know what they felt was the best thing for me to do. But at the same time they
told me they wanted me to have the faith for what I did and that I needed to be
sure I had a peace about it.
They didn’t send me a bunch of prophecies
telling me what to do in no uncertain terms; in fact, they didn’t send me any
prophecies at all! I admired them for that, because I felt they didn’t want to
send me prophecies (although I was pretty sure they got some), because they
didn’t want me to have the burden of later feeling that I was disobeying the
Lord if I chose to go against their suggestions and what the Lord showed them.
Instead they asked me to pray and also to
share my heart with my teamworkers, whose love I felt very secure in, and who I
know and trust dearly, and ask them to pray for me and hear from the Lord for
me. I did that, and I am so very, very thankful that the Lord punched through
in one very clear prophecy after another, answering the deepest questions in my
heart, some of which I had never even voiced. I made the decision to stay as a
result of those prophecies and what the Lord showed me personally.
I’m sure Mama and Peter were glad that I
made the decision to stick with my job and keep fighting, but they never made
me feel bad or that I would have been failing if I had chosen the other route.
They didn’t try to control me-in fact they showed me a lot of love and
understanding and made it very clear that the choice was mine.
One other thing I wanted to mention is
about how Peter was during the time he visited Australia during the court case,
when he had the meetings with the lawyers in Melbourne. I was very impressed
then at how willing Peter was to admit times when the Family was wrong or made
mistakes. I even remember arguing that I thought Peter should stand up more and
tell the lawyers off because they were being too critical of the Family. But he
told me clearly that we can’t be self-righteous and think that we’ve never made
mistakes, because we have, but we’re learning from them and we’re changing when
we see things that need to be changed as a Family.
* * *
They Live to
Serve
My name is Jason, and has been during my
whole life in the Family (beginning when I was four when my mom, Seek, joined
the Family with me and my two sisters in 1974). I’m now 29 years old, and
believe I am married to the most wonderful woman in the world (Cedar), and the
Lord has blessed us with six beautiful children-five boys and one girl to date!
The Lord gave me my own little “basketball team”, ha! PTL!
I probably only know a small percentage
of you personally, although through the stream of testimonies, articles, pics,
etc., that get pubbed, I feel like I’ve gotten to know many of you, and pray
for you often.
During my time growing up in the Family I
was blessed to have experienced a childhood of excitement, seeing souls won and
lives changed by the miracle-working power of the Lord’s love. We learned to
abound and abase at times, but as a kid, I personally saw the Lord faithfully
supply all our needs as our little missionary family, the Little Farmers as we
were called, traveled and lived in 14 different countries by faith. This is the
story of most of our Family SGAs who have grown up serving the Lord in the
Family alongside their parents.
As a teenager I attended the Mexico TTC ‘86,
which was a real milestone in my life, and was a time I look back on as having
been when I made a solid personal decision to forsake all and give My life to
the Lord. Following the TTC, I lived and served the Lord as a senior teen in a
number of “teen homes” in Mexico, Brazil and the US.
Overall, one of my main ministries in the
Family has always been witnessing, singing, and other outreach-type ministries.
This has always been a real highlight in my life, and I am presently very
excited seeing all the Lord is doing through the Activated program in
the Family. I feel it’s getting us all back to the basics of what we joined, or
have made a decision to stay in the Family for. TYJ!
Only about four-and-a-half years ago,
right after Summit ‘96, my wife, Cedar, and I were asked if we would like to
join the NACRO teamwork, which has been a wonderful and life-changing
experience for both of us. As I mentioned before in a Zine interview,
when the NACRO teamwork first invited us to join their team, I felt like, “I
hope they know what they (the NACRO teamwork) are getting themselves into!”-Ha!
But feeling Mama and Peter’s faith in us through this invitation really
encouraged our hearts and gave us the faith that if we were offered the job,
then the Lord could also give us the anointing and help that we needed to do
it.
Of course, the road down “CRO lane,” so
to speak, has not always been a “bed of roses,” and to be honest, there have
been moments when we thought, “Enough is enough, we can’t do the job another
day. We’ve got too many kids, we’re too young, and besides, neither of us can
even type!”-Ha! But it has been at these times when we’ve come to the end of
our rope and felt like we needed to step out of our shepherding
responsibilities, and on a couple of occasions have even turned in our
“resignations” to Mama and Peter, that we have felt such incredible and
unconditional love from both of them, which has been such an encouragement and
strength in helping us to hold on.
I guess this brings me to the reason that
I wanted to write you, my dear co-workers, Family and friends. Recently I’ve
been approached by other Family young people expressing their questions
regarding letters that have been circulated recently via the Internet by former
members, who in the name of “sharing their hearts,” have vented their personal
doubts and criticisms of Mama and Peter and the Word the Lord has given us
through them.
I guess when hearing such accusations from
some of our detractors, it inevitably does catch our attention, especially when
they come from names or people we know or have heard of, or who have served the
Lord in the Family with us for many years. In some cases it has even been our
dear friends and loved ones. The effects of some of our former members’
negative dissertations are also compounded a bit in situations where the
sources may have been in positions of influence themselves while in the Family.
In situations such as these, it can be our natural reaction to assume that
there must be something to their accusations, as some have even lived with Mama
and Peter, or in WS, which can understandably seem to give even greater
credibility to their complaints.
I have been no exception when it has come
to wondering where some of these things have come from, as I think is only
natural for us to do at times. I guess, though, one of the indisputable truths
that I haven’t been able to shake, and which has been sort of a landmark or
point of reference in my life when the doubts and questions have flown
overhead, is the “Word bound in shoe leather” that I have been blessed to see
with my own eyes in regards to Mama’s and Peter’s samples.
I have my full share of weaknesses and
shortcomings and can sometimes be quite an emotional Leo, but all my life the
thing that has always had the biggest effect on me is when I felt someone went
out of their way to show me they cared about me, and went beyond the call of
duty, so to speak, to show me the Lord’s love. This has always had a profound
effect on me, and is the reason I’m here today. Say what you like, these
actions always spoke louder to me than words.
This is what I’d like to share with you
about Mama and Peter. Sadly, recently some of our detractors have launched a
direct attack on Mama’s and Peter’s characters, which has saddened me greatly.
I’ve never lived in WS, but over the last eight years I feel that I have been
blessed to be able to get to know Peter quite well, and more recently I met
Mama, and I personally feel that their sample speaks for itself. I know that
there are numerous things that stand out about Mama and Peter when you get to
know them, but more than anything, the thing that has resonated in my heart
long after the times I’ve been able to be around them has been their
sacrificial love for the Lord and others. To me they truly live the verse,
“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his
friends.”
I would like to share a few specific
examples of how their sample touched my life. As wonderful as it was for me to
attend Summit ‘96, it was also a time of tremendous battles for me. Prior to
the Summit, Cedar and I, on a couple of occasions, had begun taking steps to
practice living the sexual side of the Law of Love, only to hit some pretty
tough spots in this respect. We had largely stepped out into this new territory
on our own with little counsel or shepherding due to our not seeking help and
prayer as much as we should have. Anyhow, we were still pretty sensitive in these
areas when arriving at the Summit, which made me quite closed to the idea of my
wife and I sharing sexually during the Summit (not that we had a problem
sharing with each other during the Summit or any other time for that
matter, as is evidenced from our six kids, ha!). My fear of sharing was made
worse (as always) when listening to the Enemy’s lies, as he would tell me that
I was going to be looked down on for my battles, or that I was going to be
pressured to share, even if I didn’t have the faith for it.
At first, even though Cedar and I weren’t
sharing with others at the Summit, I was still going through huge trials-to
where one day I privately went to Dust in tears, who besides being my shepherd
at the time was also a dear friend, and still is-saying, “You’ve got to get me
out of here, because I can’t make it, and I don’t want to fail my wife or the
Lord.” It was that night that he told Peter that I had been going through these
severe battles, after which he and Peter had evidently stopped and prayed for
me. Peter and I then bumped into each other that night in the kitchen and Peter
gave me a huge hug and held on to me and looked into my eyes and told me,
“Don’t worry, you don’t have to do anything you don’t have the faith for.” He
was so understanding and compassionate, I could really tell he understood what
I was going through, and that just helped to blow all the Enemy’s lies and
doubts right out of the water; it gave me the faith that I could make it, in
spite of how weak I felt in this area.
Another incident which really struck me
was when I saw Peter kneel and humbly ask all of us at Summit ‘96 to pray that
he not even be tempted to get lifted up in pride before the first united
meeting. He said, “I know that I can’t do it, and I can’t afford to let the
Enemy in by getting lifted up in pride, because I know it’s got to be the
Lord.” Seeing Peter’s humility and admission of weakness by acknowledging his
need for the Lord’s help to all of us really made an impression on me that
“this guy is for real!” It was exactly the opposite sample of what some of our
recent detractors have claimed.
There were numerous occasions during the
last two Summits as well where I saw Peter go out of his way to encourage and
spend time with those attending even when it compromised his own health. I
would see sometimes that he was noticeably exhausted from giving meeting after
meeting, and personal time after personal time, and I could tell that he would
have liked nothing better than to just crash in his room for a couple days and
probably not talk to anybody, but he kept sweetly plugging along, smiling and
spending time with people. It was the kind of situation where if he were in it
for himself at all, he would have definitely gone about things very
differently, but I could really see the Lord’s longsuffering and sacrificial
love being manifested through his sample, and there was no doubt in my mind
that he was there for the Lord and no other reason.
I can also remember about seven or eight
years ago when I first met Peter at sort of a selah YA meeting in Washington,
D.C. This was several years before the Charter, and to say the least, all of us
young people were full of our subjects as far as the things we thought needed
to change in the Family and in our personal Home situations. Nothing Peter said
spoke to me as much as the way he listened to everything the young
people had to say. You could definitely tell that he was there because he
wanted to hear us out and valued the things we had to say. I could also see in
him a desire to make the Family a place where we, as young people in the
Family, could find a place of fulfillment serving the Lord.
This was evidenced on one occasion when
he put the new tape “The Lion, the Dragon, and the Beast” on for us. None of us
had heard it until that time, and since it was quite a masterpiece for its time
in the Family, we all sat around in a circle silently absorbing the beautiful
words and musical accompaniment. We all thought it was great, and sat listening
in awe. Whereas, Peter, not understanding if we liked or disliked it since we
were too involved in listening to comment on it, thought that maybe we were all
disappointed in how it turned out. So he slipped out of our little circle and
sat off to the side really going through it (as he later told us), wondering if
maybe they had really screwed up with its production since none of us like it.
Ha!
I can also remember the first time I met
Peter, which was right before these meetings started. SGA David (of Shanti) and
I were some of the first SGAs to arrive at this little house where we were
going to have these meetings, as we had been asked if we could come a little
earlier to help with organizing a schedule for the meeting days. When I heard
that Peter was there, naturally I got quite nervous. After a few minutes of
pace walking around the house wondering, “What am I doing here?” Peter came
down the stairs and gave me a big hug and thanked me for coming early to help.
He then prayed with me, and after the prayer said, “Boy, I’m sorry for praying
for so long. Sometimes I get a little long winded, Lord help me!” This right
away took a lot of the “spiritual” steam out of my balloon thinking I had to
make a “good impression,” because he was so sweet and down to earth and so
himself.
On another occasion at one of the
Summits, Peter made a point to come up to Cedar and me and gave us some money
so we could go eat out together since things had been pretty busy, and getting
some time away together was just what we needed at the time. This really
touched our hearts as there were tons of other people there and all kinds of
things going on which Peter was involved with, but the fact that he had thought
of us in this way was a little touch of the Lord’s love for us.
There was also one occasion more recently
when Cedar and I had the blessing of being able to meet Mama. This was
something that we did not anticipate, but was such a sweet surprise from the
Lord. It was just a brief encounter and only lasted for an afternoon, but was
nevertheless unforgettable for us. At first I didn’t know exactly how to act or
what to say, but Mama was just one bundle of sweetness and love. Such a
wonderful mother! One of the subjects we discussed around the table while we
talked over dinner was some recent witnessing adventures she had had with some
of her relatives which she was quite excited about, and how much she had
enjoyed being able to spend time pouring out to them and showing them how much
she loved and appreciated them.
Her simplicity also stood out to me, and
I could tell that her clothes, although pretty, were very low on her priority
list. And like that saying, “If you believe in something, you talk about it,”
Mama was constantly talking about and praising the Lord. There was no doubt in
my mind that she lived to love and serve Him. She was the kind of person that
inspired you to want to love the Lord, too. She also constantly laughed at
herself and her own funny ways, and constantly gave God the glory for any and
everything good accomplished through her.
I can honestly attest that Mama and Peter
live to serve the Family. That is their heartfelt prayer and desire, and if
they lead by anything, it’s by the most dedicated sample you have ever seen in
your life. They personally live what they preach, and then some. On one
occasion when Cedar and I talked with Peter explaining that we were having a
hard time keeping up with the demands of our CRO job (there have been several
of these occasions-ha!), Peter told us that if we couldn’t keep up with the
messages and correspondence, etc., or any of the other CRO-business-type stuff
for that matter, if we would just love the Family, then we’d be doing the job
the Lord wanted us to do.
Mama and Peter give their lives daily for
all of us. When they stand before the Lord they want to hear, “Well done, thou
good and faithful servants,” as we all do. They have to say “yes” to Jesus
every day, just like us. I know the Devil must also really fight them and try
to discourage them at times, but what keeps them going is their desire not to
fail the Lord or the Family.
Having had these personal firsthand
experiences, I cannot reconcile the grievances that some former members have
recently leveled against Mama and Peter, other than to say that somewhere along
the line they must have had a hard time receiving the things the Lord was doing
in their lives. We all face battles as Christians in the service of our
wonderful Husband and Savior, this goes for Christians universally, but we
can’t rightfully blame our problems or personal crisis on someone else. “By
their fruits ye shall know them,” and “every man shall give an account of
himself before the Lord.”
I personally feel that not everyone is
called to serve the Lord in the Family. It’s a specialized place of service
that is not everybody’s cup of tea, and there are many Christians around the
world who are fulfilling God’s calling in their lives in other capacities. The
Family is not perfect, but our goal is to win the world for Jesus, no matter
how crazy a bunch we may seem to the world sometimes, or how radical our
doctrines may look.
All through the history of the Bible, God
always chose the weak and foolish things-Moses was slow of speech, Jeremiah was
young and incapable, Hosea married a harlot, Isaiah ran around naked, and Ezekiel
ate dung, just to name a few examples. They also said of Jesus that He had a
devil and was a wine bibber, a friend of publicans and sinners. As far as the
Bible is concerned, there is ample precedence for the Lord doing things exactly
the way that many scoffers have thought they shouldn’t be done. Jesus said to
the scribes and the Pharisees that if the people didn’t cry out in praise to
Him, the rocks would. If He could use rocks, He can surely use us.
I’m not a super writer, dear Family,
although I’m ever so thankful for the wonderful heritage I’ve been given
growing up in the Family, and thus wanted to share some of the things I’ve
“seen and heard.” The one thing I do know is that if the Family were of man, it
would come to naught, but if it be of God, no man can stand against it. If
people want to knock a work that’s of God, that’s really up to them, but if
they want to challenge God, they will quickly find that they’re barking up the
wrong tree!
Even the fact that some claim that the
fruits of the Family are good but the “tree” is bad does not make spiritual or
physical sense. Without the Word, and faith in the Word, as a Christian
movement, we’re dead. Some of our detractors would love nothing more than to
see the Family disband and stop accomplishing our work for the Lord, because
they feel it would justify their own lack of faith and obedience, but this
should not make our calling in the Family unsure. It’s much easier to criticize
the Family and its leadership than live the life of a fulltime disciple in it,
as we all know it’s not a piece of cake, but we in the Family have voluntarily
chosen this calling in our lives because we feel it’s the Lord’s will for us
personally.
When we in the Family suffer attacks from
even our own friends and loved ones, instead of looking at it as a setback, or
a problem with the Family, we should take courage that “all those who live
Godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution,” even when at times it comes
from those close to us. The Bible says so! This story is as old as the hills,
but when this “movie” plays in our own back yard, we sometimes falter and start
to question. Lord help us! It all depends on your perspective.
A wife lovingly takes care of her husband
out of love and devotion, not because of control. We serve the Lord in the
Family not because we are “hoodwinked” by corrupt leaders, but because we love
the Lord, and Mama and Peter’s lives have served as a loving example for us to
follow. Jesus died for us, so in a sense we are His love slaves because He
bought and paid for us. But by the same token, the sample that He gave us as
our Lord and Master was to call us friends, and showed us by His sample that he
that is greatest must be servant of all, as He stooped to wash His disciples’
feet.
Being a shepherd in the Family means
being a servant of your brethren. Mama and Peter live to serve, and encourage
us as Family leaders to do the same. So, I wholeheartedly say that if some
former members term Peter and Mama’s love and sample of following the Lord as
“control” and “manipulation,” then bring it on! We could use a lot more of that
kind of manipulation. Ha! God help us as Christians to never get to the point
where we look down on God’s anointed prophets. “Believe in the Lord your God,
so shall ye be established. Believe in His prophets, so shall you prosper.”
Remember, true love is filling the role God has for you to play-which also goes
for supporting others in their roles for the Lord!
I love you, dear Family, and thank the
Lord every day for the blessing and privilege of being part of this Family.
“There is no greater calling then to be a child of God, and no greater honor
than to be a voice for Him!”
* * *
My 10 to 1
Challenge!
By Matthew,
Mama’s Home
Dear Family,
I love and respect and admire each of you
so very much! I am so proud to be a member of this wonderful Family the Lord
has given us and to call you my brothers and sisters.
After hearing about some of the things
former members have been saying about Mama and Peter, I prayed and asked the
Lord how I should respond to those things, seeing that I have lived, worked and
closely interacted with Mama and Peter daily for the last seven years. He said
rather than trying to personally respond to the accusations, I could instead
give you a character assessment of Mama and Peter from my time of observing
them while living with them, as well as my experiences in working with them.
I’d like to address first the contention
that Mama and Peter are authoritative and control freaks. I’d like to start
this by saying that I had a problem with authority since I started kindergarten
at age five. I just didn’t like being controlled and always told what to do and
how to be by authorities. This rebelliousness and disregard for authoritative
rule continued throughout my school years and into my time in the military,
university, and with various jobs, until I finally dropped out of the System to
become a hippy at age 25, totally rejecting the System and its mores, values,
and authority. I just didn’t see truth, fairness and honesty behind it all.
Thank the Lord that eventually He gave me the honor of joining this great
Endtime movement!
Even in the Family I had a lot of
problems with authoritative leaders who pushed their own desires and programs.
Sadly, I was that way myself at times when I was a leader. I know that the Lord
has let me look back on the times I was authoritative so that I wouldn’t get
self-righteous about the authoritative leaders I was under at times. I’m truly
sorry if I was that way with any of you. Please forgive me.
I don’t hold any exclusivity on rejecting
authoritative rule by unloving and totally off-the-Godly-path leaders. This is
evidenced by the many Family members that dropped out of the ungodly System to become
hippies and eventually Family members just as I did. My point in sharing the
above is to show that I simply have never been able to bring myself to submit
to ungodly authority, no matter who it was, in or out of the Family, even when
there were dire repercussions.
Okay, have you ever felt you were most
definitely right about some spiritual principle, or the way you judged a
situation, until your shepherds or leaders shared what the Lord had shown them,
and you marveled at the wisdom of God?-At just how much greater the Lord’s love
and wisdom was, and just how wrong you could be in your own spirit? I’ve
personally experienced this power of God’s wisdom many times over the years of
working directly with Mama and Peter, not to mention the many times that I’ve
seen this wisdom and love clarify spiritual principles through the GNs and
expose any wrong views of mine, as I’m sure all of you have.
It is that authority that I respect and
submit to in Mama and Peter-the Spirit of God!
In all the time I have worked intimately
with Mama and Peter, I have never felt they were trying to control things
through prophecy or any other way for that matter. They are so prayerful that I
know it would astound you, as it has and continues to astound me. They simply
do not make hasty, un-prayed-about decisions, but look at all sides, as there
is simply too much at stake, which they have lovingly pointed out to me when I
have made hasty, un-prayed-about decisions.
They really do want the Lord to control
things. They are well aware that they do not have the wisdom and answers or
know what to do unless they ask the Lord. They are human, like us, and need the
Lord just as much and a lot more because of the awesome responsibility they
carry, which they take extremely seriously.
Even though the most important thing to
Mama is that we are prayerful and ask the Lord everything, she never gets upset
or critical when we are not prayerful enough or don’t seek the Lord on some
matters and consequently make mistakes because of it. But with infinite
patience, she continues to encourage us to be more prayerful and seek the Lord
about everything. I have never felt from Mama the spirit of “Come on, Matthew,
can’t you get it through your thick head?!” I can say the same for Peter.
In the seven years that I have worked
with Peter directly and almost daily, he has never made me feel that I am being
forced to submit to his authority or viewpoint. I have never felt that he’s
tried to control me through any means. And at times I’m sure it was tough for
him not to be authoritative, as I sure needed controlling sometimes.
Peter is the most easygoing guy, who
doesn’t get rattled or angry. He has a lot of faith to just let things flow
until the Lord shows exactly what to do. He is never in a rushed or impatient
spirit. Maybe being fellow Taureans helps us get along so well, but I’m sure it
has a lot more to do with Peter’s ability to love people and accept them the
way they are. He doesn’t get bothered if things don’t go just right or even the
way he wanted or had hoped, but he just adapts to the way things are and prays
about what to do or how to handle the situation in light of the way things are.
He’s a realist and accepts things the way they are and doesn’t try to make it
look differently.
Another thing I really like about him is
he always tries to put himself in the other person’s place and follow things
through to their conclusion to see how they will play out in reality on the
other end. In other words, he tries to see how what we’re discussing or
planning will affect others. He wants things to be realistic and for everyone
to get a fair deal.
He always seeks others’ advice and
counsel and listens to their ideas and what they get from the Lord. Both Mama
and Peter trust the Lord and have believing faith. They don’t get worried that
things are going to fall apart. They trust that the Lord is totally in control
and that He won’t let things happen that will sink the ship. They both continue
to trust us, including all of you, that because we love the Lord and are
seeking His will and plan, that things will operate just the way the Lord
intended, or that the Lord will correct us and teach us how to proceed if we do
things wrong.
You’ll probably find this next statement
hard to believe, but since it’s my testimony, you’ll have to believe it or call
me a liar, as Dad said, ha! In all the years I’ve been with Peter, living,
working, traveling, relaxing or whatever, I can never remember him putting me
through a trial or battle about anything he said or did. Isn’t that amazing? So
either I suffer from Alzheimer’s disease or he’s just really a nice guy. And on
top of it, to me he is one of the meekest, kindest, most unassuming and
understanding men I’ve ever known, and a great friend. And he’s got a great sense
of humor, as does Mama. They are most always smiling and laughing and telling
funny stories or jokes, often about the funny things that happen in their
marriage and their lives. They’re fun to be around.
I could say the same and more for Mama,
except that her attention to detail and thoroughness has caused me a few trials
over the years-no fault of hers, all mine! (Maybe this is where the accusation
of “control freak” comes from, ha!) Mama is meek, kind, and unassuming, the
most understanding and wisest woman I’ve known.
In all these years of working with Mama,
she has always given the benefit of the doubt to the accused. Mama is
the epitome of the belief that you are innocent until proven guilty. And even
when someone is proven guilty, the Lord will show her why the person thought
the way they did, which caused them to do the wrong thing, and she will then
extend mercy and understanding. I know, as it has happened several times with
me. If Mama and Peter supposedly “shoot their wounded and dump them overboard,”
I would have been gone long ago and wouldn’t be writing this to you.
I have never known Mama or Peter to hold
mistakes or sins against people-and to believe that they would fire or kick
people out for the same is way wrong! That to me is as far from the truth as
you can get. They have infinite patience with everyone in the Family, because
they love and respect and admire each of us so much. We are truly their
children, and just as the Lord always forgives us and takes us back into His
arms, so do Mama and Peter.
It’s been nothing but pure pleasure and a
continual learning experience to live and work with Mama and Peter, and you
have the exact same Mama and Peter in the GNs; they believe and live what they
write. Their characters and attitudes are exactly what you read in the Letters.
They are a king and queen with great integrity. “The just man [woman] walketh
in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.” We certainly are
blessed.
Mama and Peter’s generosity is almost
beyond belief. They give of their time, their strength, and use the Family’s
tithe money to help each one of you. Mama will stop her pubs or other work to
spend hours or days of her time to help someone in need of shepherding and
love. I have experienced this love and shepherding firsthand, as you’ve read in
ML #2975, “Lessons of Love.” So I know from very personal experience just how
loving Mama is! Also she wasn’t hesitant to share with you in that GN her wrong
attitudes and mistakes.
Not only we in WS, but a great many of you
have received personal letters and prophecies from Mama, which shows just how
much she loves us all and the importance she places on each one of us.
Peter is very much the same. He always
shares his mistakes, wrong perceptions, etc., and asks for prayer and even
correction. He is very open to being wrong if he hasn’t gotten a direct
revelation, and even after he has heard from the Lord, he still seeks others’
counsel. He and Mama counsel continually with others and do not send out
dictums or give orders. They ask what others think and how they feel something
should be done, and are happy when others can pray and get the answers from the
Lord and take care of things. They have delegated a great deal of their
authority to others and continue to do so.
Peter has made grueling and demanding
trips to visit you in all parts of the world, from which I have seen him return
home bone-tired after having held meeting after meeting and personally standing
on his feet for hours afterward to hug and encourage every single person he
met. So to me, for someone to say they saw Mama and Peter not as shepherds who
gave their lives for the sheep, but as those who hoodwinked the sheep into
laying down their lives for the shepherds is totally beyond belief. Get out of
town! It’s simply not true. Not even one time have I ever seen a selfish
hireling spirit in Mama and Peter. They would give their lives for any one of
us, and I see them do so daily.
I’m sorry if I’m saying things that are
obvious to you from knowing Mama and Peter through the GNs, but I feel I need
to give my personal, firsthand experiences with Mama and Peter to answer those
who are attempting to assassinate their character. Dad said there is nothing
more powerful than a personal testimony, and since I have lived with Mama and
Peter 24 hours a day for a long time now, I just can’t hold back from
validating their true character as has been pointed out in the GNs over the
years.
I’ve seen Mama and Peter very willing to
take responsibility for their mistakes and I’ve even seen them willing to take
responsibility for my wrong actions. They’ve apologized for mistakes I’ve made
as though they were their own.-A true sign of love and strong character to me.
I have never heard Mama and Peter speak disparagingly
of people, in or out of the Family-even those that have debased and slandered
them. They speak well of all men and have great forgiveness and understanding
for those that wrong or misuse them.
As far as giving people
self-determination, they are and have always been for it during the time that I
have worked with them. I’ve never seen them plot or scheme to have control over
people’s lives. Why would they have written the Charter if that were their
desire? They wrote the Charter because you told them that you wanted less
control from leaders and shepherds and to be able to chart your own course and
go according to your own faith. I worked on the Charter with Peter and Gary,
and Peter very much crafted it to give every Family member the right to
self-determination and the right to operate their Home in counsel with the
other members of the Home as the Lord led them. I believe that is the fruit
that has come from adopting the Love Charter in the Family. Peter and Mama are
not telling people how to run their Homes; in fact, they don’t even tell the
CROs how to run their own Homes or offices or Service Homes. They tell them and
all of us to pray and hear from the Lord and follow. That’s what Mama and Peter
have been preaching to us until they are blue in the face!
I could go on and on, and time would fail
me to tell you of the many wonderful qualities of our king and queen. But, hey,
you already know them.
I’ll give anyone 10 to 1 that they can’t
find a more loving, thoughtful, giving, understanding and wise couple in this
world.
And Dad: Well, he’s still my hero, how
about you? If he hadn’t a been ’er, who’d a been ’er?
* * *
The Heart of
a King!
By Elliot,
WS
My name is Elliot, formerly Shemariah
Books, and I joined the Family in 1970. Before joining, I had graduated from
university and was an accountant for a large C.P.A. firm in the U.S. known as
Ernst and Ernst and now known as Ernst and Young, one of the largest C.P.A.
firms in the United States. After joining the Family, I began keeping books in
1971 at TSC. I worked at the Office of the Americas in Texas in 1973, at the
London International Office in 1974-75, for the Northern European and then
Southern European Prime Ministry Offices in 1975-77, and for WS since 1978.
Ever since getting saved during my last
year of college I wanted to serve the Lord, and after joining the Family and
several years of witnessing and litnessing even while doing office work for the
Family, the Lord called me to full time service using my talents behind the scenes.
I know what it’s like to live under an
oppressive leader. During the early years, I spent much time living under
Jethro’s leadership, and I truly know what it is to be oppressed in the spirit
by a carnal-minded “hireling,” so to speak. In 1976 I began living with Peter
and his wife Damaris [now called Abi] and their family, and I lived with them
with Peter as my shepherd until he went to Mama and Peter’s house in 1979.
Peter has been the overseer of my ministry since that time, so I have had
constant monthly communication with him since 1979. I’ve met Mama on several
occasions and lived with her for a brief period of about one month in 1982, and
have visited several times since then.
I also lived with James Penn (Phil) for
about 10 years, roughly from about 1985 through 1994. I know the difference
between Peter and James, and the kinds of people they are.
Never in my 24 years of close personal
contact with Peter did he show himself to be any of what I’ve read James
describe in his letter. There was only one time, in 1976, before Peter went to
Dad and Mama’s house, that he yelled at me out for getting in an argument with
my wife while we were out witnessing and becoming a bad sample to the sheep.
And through the years he has apologized to me for getting so upset and yelling
and told me he was sorry. Peter is in no sense of the term oppressive,
closed-minded, or a person who treats people badly. He is, in fact, the exact
opposite of these terms, and in my 24 years of knowing Peter personally, I
can’t think of a more loving, concerned shepherd who listens to people and not
only listens, but changes his opinion and adjusts his attitude after listening.
Earlier this year I was at a meeting with
Mama and Peter and several members and shepherds of WS Homes. At the beginning
of that meeting, Peter outlined the four or five points he’d like to discuss
during that important meeting, and asked if we could all try to stick to these
points as our time was limited, the number of days we were meeting was limited,
and we needed to try to cover as much as possible before it was time for us to
return to our Homes.
Shortly after making this request, one
person at the meeting raised his hand and brought up a point that he felt was
important but which was not on the agenda. Peter tried to answer that point and
move on. But the person was not satisfied and raised his hand and brought up
the point again. Peter tried to consider what the person was saying, we all
discussed it briefly, then we tried to move on to the main agenda points. This
person raised his hand a 3rd, a 4th time, and then after
about the 5th time of insisting that we cover his point in more
depth, I myself was pretty frustrated that we couldn’t move on to our very
important agenda points, so I raised my hand and requested that we shelf that
topic and move on. Peter responded to me that, no, this was an important point
and we needed to discuss it.
Peter listened to this person’s point in
full and completely changed his mind and our agenda for the meeting to let this
person air his point of view, and in fact, the point became a cornerstone of
some of the changes in store for WS in the era of action. Rather than squelch
the person, Peter in fact allowed his own mind to be changed as to what should
be discussed during this important meeting, and dropped his own
pre-prayed-about agenda to accommodate another person’s point of view. This is
the Peter I know and the one who is the shepherd and king of our Family.
At another meeting I was at, there were
representatives from NACRO, EURCRO and SACRO, and we were discussing
administrational changes that would affect all the CRO areas of the world. At
the beginning of this meeting Peter cautioned us all to be careful in our
comments, suggestions, and ideas, because we didn’t have representatives from
ASCRO and PACRO there, and that we needed to be sensitive to the concerns of
these areas too.
By the end of that meeting we came to
some tentative conclusions, and I remember Peter saying, “I dare say if CRO
representatives from PACRO and ASCRO were here, we would have come to different
conclusions.” The conclusions we came to were not final, this was a preliminary
meeting and this meeting was going to be followed up by subsequent meetings covering
the same point but including representatives from all areas of the world. But
what Peter was trying to get through to us was that our conclusions were biased
because they did not include points of view from these other areas.
That’s the way Peter is. He is anointed
to be unselfish and to look at other people’s points of view, and he is keenly
aware of the fact that in our own selfish, carnal minds we naturally represent
ourselves, often not considering others’ points of view. He has isolated this as
a pitfall of human nature and is keenly aware of its false leadings, and he
tries his best to get the rest of us to see this so that we will be more
open-minded representatives of all facets of our Family.
This is one thing I came to see very
clearly during these meetings. Mama and Peter told us they wanted to turn more
responsibility over to us and to others, but their biggest concern was whether
we were mature enough to make decisions that didn’t represent what we
wanted to do or the way we saw things, but rather were decisions that we
prayed about and had gotten the Lord’s unbiased, unselfish mind
about that included the needs of everyone.
He gave the examples of us shooting off
the top of our heads “cheap ideas.” He told us that when he did the business
for Dad, he could never shoot off cheap ideas. He had to pray about all of his
business suggestions, write up a complete, prayed-about report to Dad, and then
submit it to Dad. He cautioned us against making unprayed-about, biased
decisions that didn’t include the points of view of all areas of the Family.
I remember his words, they were: “We are
a government, and as such we have to consider the needs of our
minorities!” His comment had nothing to do with nationality, but everything to
do with remembering all the constituents in our government. He went on to
explain that if we were going to propose something, that it was our
responsibility to be sure that we considered how our idea would affect all
aspects of the Family.
He said that, for example, let’s say we
wanted to get out a new book, but we didn’t have enough funds from the tithes
to produce it, and we shoot off the top of our head “Hey, we can sell this book
for $5 to each Home and they’d all be eager to get one and that would pay for
it.” “Well,” he said, “I dare say that the Homes in Russia couldn’t afford it
and just wouldn’t be able to get one.” He said this as an example of how we
need to consider the Homes in Russia when coming up with ideas. We need to
realize they are poor Homes, they usually have no support from their field,
they live in dire situations, and when throwing out ideas we need to consider
their particular situation. He said it didn’t mean we couldn’t do
certain things just because they weren’t conducive for some minority or area or
part of the Family, but that we needed to consider the minorities before
throwing out ideas. Cheap, unprayed-about, biased ideas were just that: cheap,
unprayed-about, and biased.
The same went for single parents, married
couples, SGAs, FGAs, children, adults, teens, all the various facets and faces
of the Family, the various strata shuffled a hundred different ways. If we were
to be in responsible positions, it was our responsibility to consider all of
this before making decisions. That was our responsibility as representatives of
the Family. And this was his and Mama’s main concern in turning over
responsibility and authority to others: Were those people really going to be
open-minded, concerned individuals who took into serious consideration
the needs of all strata of the Family?
From those meetings I left with this as
the biggest challenge to my own personal spiritual growth: Am I really
making unbiased decisions? Am I really considering the needs of others before
my own? What kind of decisions am I making? Am I really making the kind of
unbiased, thoroughly prayed through decisions the Lord wants me to make?
This, my dear Family, is the Peter that
is your king and the shepherd of the Family.-And Mama is the same, in fact more
so. I do not know another person instead of Peter that I would rather entrust
the business and administration and finances of the Family to. Peter is
unselfish, open-minded, and has the concerns of the minorities as well as the
overall vision of all the Family at heart. He has sacrificed his own personal
concerns and laid his life on the altar in order to be what the Lord wants him
to be. I am so desperately thankful to the Lord for giving us someone who was
willing to sacrifice his desires for us. I have seen Peter change from those
early days of 1976 and sacrifice to the Lord his own desires and needs and
points of view, in order to grow and become the kind of person the Lord wanted
him to be. I have always said to others I know that I do not know another person
that has changed in his personal views as much as Peter.
On the other hand, I lived with James for
approximately ten years without a break-ten consecutive years. It’s amazing to
me that people like Priebe and James (James Penn) put themselves out to others
as if they were top leaders and shepherds in WS. James was anything but a
leader. He lived in my Home at that time, and while being an intelligent,
thinking person, he was at the same time rather carnal-minded, never desiring
or getting enough Word time, always having his head buried in the newspapers
and worldly business, and constantly having to have his socks pulled up to get
back on track with the Lord.
In fact, you can read about James
yourself in “On Guard” (ML #1377), where Dad pinpointed his carnal nature years
ago for the bad influence he was in dragging Peter away from the way the Lord
wanted Peter to be.
James had a talent, and that was
literature, history, and the adept manipulation of words to make a point. He
perfected the use of metaphors, was able to explain something succinctly, and
give word pictures to enhance his point. When James was turned towards the
Pillar and doing his best to follow the Lord, the Lord used this talent and the
Lord’s Spirit came through in his writings. But James has now turned away from
the Pillar. He still has the same talents. He still has the ability to use
metaphors and word pictures to enhance his speech. But in my opinion he no
longer has the Lord’s Spirit.
He wields the words of his mind adeptly,
but skill with words that don’t contain the truth is not skill at all, just
folly. He is joined to his own mind. Let him alone.
* * *
Open Letter
from a Young Family Missionary
By Sam, 26,
CRO, Brazil
To Whom It May
Concern:
My name is Samuel, I’m 26 years of age,
and I was born and raised in the Family. I grew up on the mission field of
South America. I’ve been an active witnesser my whole life and have lived in
and traveled through practically every South American country by land and air.
I’ve visited over 100 cities in my career as a missionary, engaging in a
diversity of ministries and outreach methods such as personal evangelism, youth
outreach, disaster relief missions, distribution of food and aid to the poor,
distribution of Gospel material, singing and performing on TV in six or more
countries, giving live interviews over both the radio and TV. I’ve pioneered
new cities and helped set up works, giving seminars to young and old, leading
church services, rallying youth groups to get on fire for the Lord, leading and
participating in countless youth Bible camps, training and helping to raise up
new leadership, etc.
At present I live in Sao Paulo, Brazil,
and am working with a team of people to set up a follow up structure and base
for young people like myself to bring those we have met and led to the Lord to
a greater understanding and knowledge of the Word via weekly Bible classes,
yearly national retreats, and monthly three-day seminars. I work with about 40
other young people who also have an undying desire to make this dream a
reality-that of truly winning the world to Jesus before His second coming. Our
goal and greatest desire in life is to be the best of the best for Jesus, and
do with all our might that which He has commissioned us through His Word when
He said, “Go ye into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature.”
I state with great pride and conviction
that it is because of the faithfulness of dear Dad and Mama and Peter to give
the Words of Life that they’ve received over the years for us, that I’ve had
the strength and faith to be a missionary. Every new Letter that comes out is
for me not only a refreshing cold drink of water to a thirsty soul, but also a
lifesaver and rock upon which to stand. I’ve seen the Lord’s hand work time and
time again as a result of implementing the rich and valuable counsel that He
pours out without measure. I’ve seen lives transformed, including my own, as a
result of drinking in and believing and putting into practice the truths that
He’s given us.
I’ve seen His blessings being poured out
abundantly both materially and spiritually with gifts such as greater faith,
more love, overwhelming happiness and indescribable peace in my own life and in
the life of others as a result of reading and absorbing His Words of prophecy.
I’ve lived and seen and experienced firsthand what it’s like to practice using
the gift of prophecy and hearing from the Lord and those in the spirit world;
and I’ve witnessed the way He speaks with such accuracy and love that heals hearts
and fixes critical situations and brings back to life the hearts of those
who’ve been discouraged and lacking hope and understanding. I’ve experienced
amazing manifestations of the Holy Ghost and the Lord’s power through using the
gifts of loving and praising Him, and hearing from Him with others.
There have been times in which I’ve been
tempted to give up my call as a missionary, but because Mama and Peter have
always taught us to keep our eyes on the Lord and go to Him for our strength
and help in time of trouble, and have passed on to us countless words of
counsel which the Lord has given the Family to stand on in difficult times, He
has always pulled me through and given me renewed vision and inspiration to
continue. In my teen years I was tempted several times to leave the Family and
get a higher education, but I’m so thankful that I didn’t quit and give up my
crown. Honestly, nothing or no one will ever convince me that the Family and
our way of life is not the Lord’s highest place of service for me as a
missionary.
The reason I’m writing this open letter
is because recently the city in which I live was unfortunately a target of
malice via an e-mail letter sent to several friends of mine from a former
member named James Penn, who is viciously attacking and attempting to pull down
and step on everything that I believe and stand for. I’m a pretty easygoing
person, and my nature is usually to roll with the punches and not let someone
else’s bitterness or hate disturb me or cause me to get upset. But when this
fellow came out with such hateful accusations and lies against the people who I
most admire and respect on the face of the Earth, I said to myself, “No, I
won’t keep quiet this time!”
The thing that gets me most upset is that
in his struggle to sound believable, he’s basically trying to face all 10,000
Family members and tell us that we’ve been deceived all along and we are
victims of oppression. I ask myself, who the hell does he think he is to stand
in front of all of us and basically tell us that we’re stupid idiots?! I feel
like telling him the same thing that the preacher told those two old ladies who
came to criticize him after his sermon. He looked at them and said, “Ladies,
the world has heard about me-who the hell has ever heard about you?” He claims
to have had some sort of “red telephone” relationship with Mama and Peter, and
because he’s lived with them for many years, he seems to think that, of course,
his story will be believed by all.
Well, it all comes down to the simple
decision of who you’re going to believe. Though I’ve never lived with Mama and
Peter, I’ve had the opportunity to meet both of them, and I want to tell you
that they are the kindest and most understanding and humble people that I have
ever met. They are truly a man and woman of God, and their love for Jesus and
the Family is indisputable.
What truly impressed me about Mama is
that she is so kind and humble and friendly, a special light shines in her
eyes. She has such a look of love and understanding. I had the opportunity to
go out for a walk with her, and she held me by the arm the whole time as I led
her along, and we talked and laughed and enjoyed such a wonderful time of
conversation. Along the way she would stop and exchange some sweet words with
the people we would pass and give them a salvation tract. She showed such
genuine interest and concern and love not only for me, but for all those she
would cross paths with.
She is so natural and spontaneous in the
way she asks the Lord about everything, you truly feel that His loving presence
is right there with you. As we went, we would ask the Lord for a word of
direction and encouragement, and I was the one who got the guidance from the
Lord. She’s so obviously the opposite of everything James says she is.
The first time I met Peter was at a
leadership meeting in 1996, which several of us young people from around the
world were invited to attend. In these meetings, we, the young people, were the
guests of honor, and both Peter and Gary and the CROs were so humbly and
genuinely interested to hear our viewpoints about the Family structure, modes
of operation, and anything we had to say about any subject. They were so kind
and understanding, and I’ll tell you, some of us, including me, were quite
honest and straightforward with our questions and with the things that we
didn’t understand.
If what James Penn says is true-that no
one has the right to express anything that they don’t agree with or have
questions about-there wouldn’t be any of us left standing! Because let me tell
you, the Family is full of people with convictions, and to prove it, just visit
a Home or look around your Home and tell me if you don’t live with a batch of
opinionated people. Will they let you get away with anything without telling
you the truth? It takes people with personality and opinions to dedicate their
lives to the Lord’s service. The Family members that I know are full of
conviction and are veterans in leading people to the truth, so to think that
someone would actually go as far as insinuating that they don’t know right from
wrong is absolutely outrageous!
I had a chance to talk with Peter several
times while at these meetings, and I remember telling him that I was quite
worried and concerned about what would come out of these meetings, as the focus
was on passing on leadership training to us young people. I told him that I was
worried about what it would be like when some of these young people began
taking places of leadership within the Family, as many of us were so outspoken,
self-righteous, difficult to get along with, etc. And what he told me, I will
never forget.
He said, “Sam, the Lord is just looking
for people who are dedicated and willing to do anything that it takes to reach
the world with His love. He’s looking for anyone who is willing to go through
His school of humility and learn lessons of love. Leadership is a role that few
people are willing to take on, because it requires forsaking all, learning to
love and care for people instead of yourself. So the Lord is seeking for willing
hearts to forsake all to help save others.” Peter is someone who you look at
and can’t help but think, “Wow, he’s such a sample of true humility.”
What is your definition of “getting a
life,” James? Is it spending time and resources and energy writing hate letters
about sincere missionaries? I don’t mean to come across in a disrespectful
manner, but I think it’s important to call a spade a spade. I know that there
are people who have left the Family because they were hurt, or maybe they were
misjudged or misunderstood or unchallenged. Granted, there are for sure
mistakes and shortcomings that the Family has had to face and apologize for. I
also know that there are some who have left because they simply don’t “bear
witness” to our beliefs as a “truth.” But is this a good enough reason to try
to discourage the rest of us that are still here and want to do something
lasting for the Lord?
Like I said above, I’m working with a
group of on-fire young people in my city who are a truly dedicated bunch, and are
making a difference in the lives of many lost and destitute young people out
there who are searching for true happiness and fulfillment in their lonely and
aimless lives. My friends and I do believe in our Family beliefs and do bear
witness to them as truth, and know that we wouldn’t be able to do what we’re
doing without practicing our faith. Would you like to see us give up our faith
because of pressure and defamation?
I would like to address you who have left
the Family for some reason or other, but who still have a child or brother or
sister or friend in the Family. Please honestly ask yourself the following
questions:
1. Do I really want to see my loved one
give up his or her life as a dedicated missionary?
2. Do I sincerely believe that my son or
daughter or brother or friend or loved one is making a mistake by giving all
their time and energy for a pure cause and one that will last for eternity
instead of living a “normal” life in society?
3. Do I think it’s necessary to share all
my dirty laundry and complaints and bitterness about the past? Will this truly
make me feel better, or do I just have an urge and desire to see others suffer
and fall into discouragement?
Dear ones, words are real things, and one
day, the Bible says, we’ll have to give account for every one of them. Are you
sure that you want to face the Lord with those things on your conscience? I ask
you, let us live our lives for the Lord in peace. Don’t try to discourage us
and tempt us to come down from the wall that we are building. We aren’t doing
this for men, but we’re doing it for God. “If this counsel or work be of men,
it will come to naught: but if it be of God, ye cannot overthrow it, lest ye be
found even to fight against God” (Acts 5:38,39). If James is right, then this
Family won’t last. But if he’s wrong, I believe he will have a lot of answering
to do before the Lord one day. If he is guilty of causing one of these little
ones to stumble, he will have to bear the weight of whatever that will mean
when Jesus returns.
* * *
As I see
it-the truth about Mama, Peter and our WS Family!
By Keif,
Mama’s Home
Although it’s very sad whenever it
happens, it’s never totally surprising to me when I hear that someone who had
once been an active, fruitful, and happy member of the Family for decades, has
become a very discontent, disgruntled critic, breathing out horrid accusations
of abuse and manipulation. I say it’s not surprising, because the same thing
almost happened to me after the RNR. Although I was still officially a
member of the Family, I had allowed myself to get so far off track, that it was
only by the grace of God that I was finally, after several years, able to open
my heart to the truth and break free from the downward spiral that I was on.
It’s hard to explain everything that took
place in my spirit and in my thoughts once I began opening the door to the
deceitful poison of the Enemy. It didn’t happen overnight; I never even saw it
coming-until it was almost too late. I didn’t realize or admit to myself that I
was drifting away and becoming hardened to the truth. In fact, as bad as it
sounds, although I was feeling extremely dead and empty inside, in my pride, I
had come to believe that I was somehow blessed with a special understanding of
how things really were, and to look down on most other Family members as
being total losers.
Just a few short months before, I would
never have thought it possible for me to reach the level of doubt,
discouragement, disobedience, pride, worldliness and overwhelming darkness that
I had ultimately reached. Before I realized what was happening to me, I had
gone from being a young, idealistic, zealous, on-fire, full-of-faith, radical
and totally happy Family member, to becoming a completely miserable,
full-of-bitterness, negative, critical-spirited, old-bottle worldling.
But today, I don’t really want to talk
about myself, except to say that if God could rescue me from the miserable,
slimy pit which I had fallen into, and keep me from being totally swallowed up
and destroyed by the Enemy’s lies, then He can rescue and save anyone
who will sincerely call out to Him for help and deliverance.
Because it happened to me, I can’t look
down on others for becoming confused and allowing themselves to drift away from
the truth. But it does break my heart for them. And it’s especially sad when
they allow themselves to become so deceived and eaten up with pride or
bitterness, or both, that they begin trying to destroy the faith of others.
Sadly, that’s something that’s happening right now through the very deceitful
propaganda written by James Penn, which is evidently spreading like wildfire.
I’ve been in the Family for almost 30
years, and during that time, I’ve twice had the opportunity to live and work
around Mama. The first time was when I was working for Rachel, over 20 years
ago in Spain, just before the RNR. The second time has been during the last
nearly two-and-a-half years. So although I’m a relative newcomer to WS, I feel
that my present situation, as well as my past experiences, give me the
authority to speak out concerning the things that I’ve personally observed.
Although I’d prefer not to have to speak against James, I feel that I have the
responsibility to set the record straight as I see it. I’ll try my best to keep
my statements as close to the point as possible, and based on actual
occurrences. But please believe me when I say that I could write page after
page concerning the admiration and love I had for Dad, the total faith and
confidence I have in Mama and Peter, and my satisfaction and pride in the
Family as a whole.
Although I haven’t had the opportunity to
meet some of the folks from other WS units, during the last two years that I’ve
been in WS, I’ve had the blessing of being able to work very closely with all
the members of Mama and Peter’s Home. James [Penn] gives the impression that
those who are chosen for WS are a special breed of easily manipulated,
gullible, vulnerable wimps, people who are controlled by fear, and who believe
and obey unquestioningly-“ideal grist for the WS mill,” as he calls them. Ha!
That sure doesn’t match the description of those in this Home-not even close!
Although the Lord does at times expect
His children to obey unquestionably, the picture that James is trying to
present by parroting this typical anti-cult rhetoric couldn’t be further from
the truth.-And I’ll use myself as a prime example.
Those who have known me over the years,
know very well that if only meek little yes-men and women were chosen for WS, I
would have never ever been considered as a potential candidate-because
I’m basically just your typical proud, stubborn, independent and strongly
opinionated Aquarian (no offense fellow-Aquarians). I can thank God for saving
me and helping me to change quite a bit over the years, but that’s my basic
nature, which still crops up from time to time.
A very sad illustration of this happened
during one of the first real sit-down talks I ever had with Mama concerning a
project I’d been working on. I don’t remember everything I said at the time; I
just remember getting a little hot under the collar about something that she
was considering implementing concerning one of the pubs. I don’t know what was
wrong with me that night, but it seemed that everything Mama said, I disagreed
with and argued with her about it. I was trying to stay as sweet and humble as
possible, but I wasn’t doing a very good job of it. Later, I was feeling very
bad about how I had acted, and I apologized to Mama for being so out of it.
Although she had every right to give me a
little sermon and reprimand (and believe me, any normal boss would’ve probably
given me the boot right then), all she said was, “Oh, please don’t feel bad. I
love a good argument!” And that was the last of it. Ha! I learned right then,
that although Mama is just human, she understands that we’re just human,
too. She’s not afraid of hearing other people’s opinions, and she’s open to
what others have to say, just like any good leader would be.
James claims that Mama and Peter are
closed-minded, and that they’re determined to have their way no matter what.
From my experience, that’s a total falsehood. From what I’ve observed, both of
them are extremely open to whatever direction the Lord leads, even if it goes
against everything that they’ve been accustomed to doing, and is against their
own personal wishes. I’ve been amazed to see how open and yielded Mama herself
is to the instructions and counsel given by the Lord through the mouths of
others, even when it affects her personally. And the same is true of Peter.
Of course, neither Mama nor Peter are
going to be open to doing something that’s obviously not the Lord’s will or
good for the Family, or if it’s not in the direction the Lord is leading. But
who would want them to be?!
As Mama has often explained in the pubs,
she has a number of people whom she calls on and depends on to hear from the
Lord about different matters. Every little question that comes up, Mama wants
to know what the Lord has to say about it. If there’s a question concerning
Mama’s health, or whether she should attend an activity or meeting, Mama will
ask someone to pray about it. And she will accept whatever the Lord has to say
to her. Here she is, the Endtime prophetess and the top leader of the Family,
but she is humble enough to let herself be governed by the prophecies received
by Peter and others concerning what she should do and how she should do it.
Those who work around Mama know that she
will seldom tell anyone what they should do about something, even if she might
have an opinion of what should be done. It’s become completely ingrained in the
WS members who are close to her that if you ask Mama what she feels you should
do, her reply will be, “Ask the Lord about it.” “Ask the Lord about it.” “Ask
the Lord about it.”
If there were a main prerequisite for
being a trusted member of WS or Family leadership, it wouldn’t be, “Are you
willing to follow blindly Queen Maria and King Peter? Do you practically
worship them and hang on every word they say? And are you willing to become a
mindless robot and fulfill their every wish?” I dare say that Mama and Peter
would probably never even choose to bring someone like that into WS in the
first place. Instead, it would doubtless be something like, “Are you here for
Jesus most of all? Do you get your instructions from Him, and are you willing
to obey what He tells you to do?”
When Dad was around, he was constantly
teaching us to keep our antennas pointed upward and to get our instructions
from the Lord. Just like the Apostle Paul instructed the Early Church to
“Quench not the Spirit,” and to “Despise not prophesying,” Dad always taught
that we should be hearing from the Lord daily. Well, it’s finally beginning to
sink in. As a Family, we’re learning to hear from the Lord more and more. But
some people, like James, prefer not to place so much importance on getting our
instructions from On High or using the gift of prophecy to such an extent in
leading the Family. James claims that this is debasing prophecy. If you ask me,
what he says is weird!-Completely bonkers!
Mama’s whole life and teachings revolve
around taking time with the Lord, listening to His whispers and implementing
what He says to do. How could that be debasing the gift of prophecy?! For years
and years, Mama has been lifting up God’s Words and putting them high upon a
pedestal. She loves them and refuses to let a single word from the Lord fall to
the ground. It’s incomprehensible that the Enemy could twist things around to
such an extent as to call Mama’s profound love for the Lord’s Words, “debasing
and manipulative.” James is the one who is debasing the gift of
prophecy, by ridiculing it and minimizing its importance and veracity.
James’ accusations just don’t make sense!
They don’t even jibe! Are Mama and Peter trying to control everything, as he
claims? Or are they trying to get people to make their own decisions and go
according to their own faith, based on what they hear from the Lord each step
of the way? It has to be one or the other; it can’t be both. James accuses Mama
and Peter of both of these things at the same time, and yet he doesn’t like
either one!
His viewpoints, though put forth in a
seemingly logical and well-written manner, are totally ridiculous in my book.
They’re written as if they’re coming from someone who is completely secular in
his way of thinking-worldly, and not religious. He says that Mama and Peter use
prophecy to bully and to indoctrinate, in an attempt to control the Family.
Where did he get his ideas?-Straight from the anti-cult books he’s obviously
been reading and promoting? The Maria and Peter I know use prophecy to
strengthen, inspire, build up and motivate, as the Bible instructs the Lord’s
ministers to do in 1Cor.14:3: “He that prophesieth speaketh unto men to
edification, and exhortation, and comfort.”
Of course, the Lord also at times calls
upon His prophets to use the sword of the Lord, the Word of God, to root out
and to cast down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against
God. But more than anything else, Mama and Peter are truly gentle prophets,
loving prophets, who use the Lord’s Words to comfort and to encourage, to bind
up the wounded and to heal the broken-hearted.
I’ve been a happy and blessed recipient
of a number of prophecies which were received by others upon request from Mama
during my time here. Skimming through the directory on my computer, I’d say
there have been at least 40 or 50, if not more, due to my frequent health
problems. And yet, I have not received from anyone a single prophecy that would
come close to being considered manipulative or coercive. Instead, each one has
been like water to a thirsty soul, kisses of love from my beloved Husband and
Maker, comfort and encouragement when I needed it the most.
Even the prophecies which have contained
helpful instruction concerning the difficult choices that I needed to make in
regards to my health and medical treatment, could never be considered a type of
indoctrination, as James calls it. If anything, the prophecies that have been
gotten for me have nearly all had one thing in common-they were almost too
beautiful to be true. In fact, in all honesty, I’d have to admit that if I’ve
been hit with doubts about the veracity of any of the messages, it was because
the Lord’s love and mercy toward me, through His words, were so overwhelming I
could hardly believe that they could be true. You see, I have a hard time
believing that Jesus could really love me the way He says He does, knowing how
bad I am. But the Lord has confirmed over and over that in spite of everything,
He still believes in me and sincerely means all of those wonderful and loving
things He has said to me through the prophecies that Mama has sent me.
It’s the same with Mama and Peter,
themselves. I don’t know how in the world they could have the faith that
someone like me could ever be of much use to them. They just have a lot of
faith! James says that WS members are viewed as expendables. But that’s not at
all how we’re treated. Mama and Peter treat each person with the utmost of
respect and understanding. No one is viewed or treated harshly.
From the first time I met them, I’ve
never felt anything but total peace, acceptance, and love from them. It’s not
that I idolize them or worship them or think that they’re infallible. I just
want to make it clear that James’ accusations about how they keep their staff
in line with fear tactics is total bunk! I’ve never once felt anything close to
fear around them. From the way they’ve treated me, all I’ve felt is that they
must see something good in me that no one else has ever seen, and that they
have more faith in me than I have in myself. If that’s what you call
manipulation and coercion, then by all means, coerce me! Manipulate away! Sock
it to me! No-I call it love and faith. I call it wonderful!
A lot of things just depend on the frame
of reference. Are you looking at things from a carnal, secular, independent and
worldly viewpoint? Or are you looking things through the spectacles of God’s
Word, with a believing and yielded heart. For instance, take what James says
about Mama-how she’s a control freak. Ha! Let me tell you about Mama.
I’ve never in my life seen a person who
is more capable of being in control-if “control” was what she was after.
I know Mama would probably claim to be very incapable, unorganized
and a total mess, and maybe she would be if it weren’t for the Lord’s help. But
you would never know it by seeing her in action. Mama is the most organized
person I’ve ever met. Not only is she organized, but she’s capable of
organizing everyone around her, as well. Mama seems to have an almost
supernatural gift and ability to be able to handle hundreds of details at a
time. I’ve never seen anything like it. I never even imagined that someone
could juggle so many things at once. Like Dad always said, Mama can keep a
whole army of people busy with projects and ideas and things to pray about and
things to do. And she herself can knock off one project after another, all the
while, listening to hundreds and hundreds of reports and messages and
prophecies and pubs for approval, and still have the time to be concerned about
and get involved in the personal problems and trials of every member of the
Home. James might look at how Mama is, with his secular, critical glasses on,
and call her a control freak. But I call her an incredible shepherdess. Mama
knows the state of her flock!
Even with all that she has to take care
of and the many problems and burdens that rest on her small shoulders, it’s
always surprising how much time Mama will take with each person she talks to.
Mama is a hands-on leader. She likes to know what’s happening. If she beeps you
about something, you just know that she’s going to end up asking you all kinds
of questions and talking about all kinds of things. If you happen to be the
first one she’s talked to that day, for instance, she’ll ask how everyone is
feeling. She’ll find out what announcements were made at devotions, and who
asked for prayer.-And then she’ll spend a few minutes praying for those people.
Then she’ll often ask for prayer, too, either for her work or for her health or
for Peter. She’ll find out who is out on business, and she’ll pray for them,
too. And then, after all that, if nothing else comes up in the course of the
conversation, she’ll talk about what she called you for in the first place. Or
maybe she wasn’t even meaning to beep you at all; maybe she was trying to find
someone else. So then she’ll call them and start all over again, asking
questions and praying for those who need prayer, etc. Mama is a shepherdess who
wants to know what’s going on and how everyone is doing. She wants to make sure
that everything is being taken care of as well as possible.
Mama lays down her life, day and night,
night and day, day after day for the Family. I’ve never seen anyone work as
tirelessly as she does-and Peter too. Nor have I seen anyone who is as content
as they are to simply do their job, without a lot of frills and thrills. (Well,
I take that back. There are a few other people around here like that, too. GBT!
Where would the Family be without them?)
All Mama needs to keep her happy is the
Lord’s Words, so that she can pass them on to those who need them. That’s what
she lives for. That’s what she’s lived for, for years and years. Is that weird?
Well, it is a little “different.” It’s sure different from the world at large.
But is it pernicious? Is it evil?
Mama’s just way too loving for me to
think that anyone could consider her pernicious or evil. And the same goes for
Peter, as the many hundreds of Family members who have met him can confirm.
From what I’ve observed, Mama’s not the kind of person to be extremely
emotional about things. Her love is more of a practical kind of love than a
gushy one. But I’ve never had a more loving shepherdess anywhere. I’ve never
known anyone to show as much concern-real, genuine, sincere, practical,
obvious, and followed-up-on concern-as Mama. To me, that’s the kind of love
that you can count on. It’s totally absurd to think that Mama or Peter could have
ever “arrogantly beat and bullied someone into submission,” as James claims. If
I try to picture it in my mind, I can’t even begin to imagine that it could be
possible. I’ve never, not once, ever seen a trace of fear from any of the
members in this Home regarding Mama or Peter. I can’t even imagine it.
I’m sure that Mama and Peter have made
mistakes; they’re only human. But when I think back over my life and the many
experiences I’ve had-both good and bad, both before I joined the Family and
after-I’ve never lived in a more wonderful situation than now. I’m not saying
it’s perfect. It’s not!-Because our Home is made up of people just like you and
me. But because of Dad’s continued influence from the spirit world, and because
of Mama and Peter’s determination to follow the Lord at all costs, and because
of the high level of dedication of everyone here, there is so much more love
and unity than in any other situation I’ve ever been in. So, what James said
about Mama and Peter, and about bullied WS workers, well, it’s a load of bull!
What James is saying about the Family as
a whole is also a big crock of shit! He says that the Family and its doctrines
are so weird today, that no one is joining up anymore, and that people are so
ashamed and embarrassed about our beliefs that they’re no longer winning new
disciples. Ha! If I remember right, the Family was pretty darn weird when I
joined it. In fact, when I visited a Family Home for the first time, things
seemed so weird to me, I was practically scared to death! I couldn’t get out
fast enough. But God wouldn’t let me. He spoke to me so loudly and clearly that
I just had to yield and follow the call. It was weird, all right. It was
strange and very different from the world that I had come from. It wasn’t like anything
I was looking for or had expected to find. But God was in it, and God is still
in it today. He’s still leading the Family-further and further away from the
world. God is the only One Who wins disciples. And when God thinks it’s time
for another great harvest of disciples, I’m sure they’ll start pouring in, just
like they did in the beginning of the Family.
I find it totally dumb that James could
expect people to believe that as much as he supposedly disagreed with the
Family and with Family leadership all that time, he stuck it out anyway for
years, hoping to change things. Poor, poor James! I think the real trouble is
that James lost touch with the true spirit of the Family years ago.
The Family isn’t perfect. WS isn’t
perfect. Mama and Peter aren’t perfect. But I for one am very thankful for
that, because if they were, there wouldn’t be much hope for me. James believes
that the Family has become irrelevant. But he’s so wrong! The Family today is
better than it ever has been, and it’s getting better all the time-doing more,
accomplishing more, reaching more, and walking the walk more. I’m so thankful
to be a part of it.
* * *
They are
the Letters
By Juan, CRO,
South America
Dearest Family,
I love you very much and trust that our
most loving Jesus is continuing to pour the choicest of His blessings upon you
and that His joy is filling your heart to overflowing. Thank you so much for
your prayers for me, as well as for the work in South America. I know that your
effectual prayers avail much in helping us to accomplish any of the good that
gets accomplished-all glory, honor, and credit for the good be given to Jesus!
I am happy to say that our precious Lord
continues to do great things for us here in South America, whereof we are all
glad. The work continues to grow and many more souls are being won to His
wonderful Kingdom of Love. It is very inspiring to see personally, as well as
hear testimonies from different brethren as to how receptive people are to our
message of salvation, of warning, and of His infinite love. The Family
continues to prosper and Jesus continues to supply abundantly for our Homes. It
never ceases to amaze me how in a continent that is plagued with economic chaos
and instability and where over 70% of the population lives in what is
considered poverty level, our Homes have a good standard. Although many of them
struggle on a day-to-day basis to be able to make ends meet to live up to our
high middle class standard, nevertheless I can surely say that we are very
blessed. The verse that comes to me as I write this note is the one David the
psalmist prayed, “I’ve been young and now I am old, but I have not seen the
righteous forsaken nor his seed begging bread.” Thank the Lord.
I thank the Lord for the heritage of faith
that we’ve been blessed to receive from Mama and Peter’s sample of serving the
Lord full time and the utter trust that they have in His wonder working Words.
I thank the Lord for the sample that I’ve been blessed to “see and hear,
receive and learn” from them, as this has helped me to have the most wonderful
years of my life. Just the other day after receiving a letter and reading parts
of it from someone who has chosen to leave the Family and in which he gives his
personal account of the way he sees things, I could not help but think, “Wow, I
see things entirely different, as I feel blessed for all that has
happened to me, and if I was to go back in time I think I would do things
exactly the same way.”
It is amazing how people can see things
so differently. I guess that unto those who choose to believe and follow, He
allows us to receive His “exceeding great and precious promises: that by these
we might be partakers of the Divine nature.” I’m so often reminded of some of
the “oldie goldies” from Dad in which he constantly warned us about keeping our
eyes upon Jesus and closely following the Word; if not, we would easily be led
astray by the lies of the Enemy.
Even now as I write this note, I happen
to be looking out my window and see several children playing under the loving
supervision of one of the sweet mothers. What a wonderful environment to raise
our children in with such loving people to love and care for them. Amongst the
children that are playing are some of my own, and once again I would like to
say that if I was able to go back in time-my 25 years of service to the Lord
under Dad, Peter and Mama’s loving shepherding-I would do exactly the same. I
would forsake all to follow the Words of David that have helped to set me free.
As a matter of fact, the above is not
just a statement, but a fact, as I have now started my second family and I’m
doing the exact same thing-raising my beautiful children in the best possible
environment that I know of and teaching the things that I know will guarantee their
future whether they choose to stay as full-time missionaries or choose to
pursue other goals in life as some of my older children have chosen to do.
Granted, when I say “doing the exact same thing,” I’m not saying that I would
not correct some of the mistakes that I’ve made through the years, but what I’m
referring to here is passing on to them the heritage of faith that I’ve been
blessed to receive through Dad and Mama’s teachings.
It saddens me when people leave the
Family to pursue other goals, as I feel that we have the best of all worlds in
the Family. But it makes me mad when those who leave try to destroy what many
of us believe is our chosen destiny. As I said in the paragraph above, I
believe that children that are raised in the Family receive wonderful training
that will help them in whatever career they choose to follow. Not only have I
seen the fruits of this training work in my own flesh and blood who have
departed from our intimate fellowship and are now able to lead what the System
would say is a successful career, but I have seen it in many of the young
people who through the years I was given the responsibility to shepherd and
befriend. And to give credit to whom credit is due, this training comes all
from the Word that through the years Dad and Mama so faithfully send our way.
It’s been 25 years of living for the Lord
and 22 years since I first met Dad and Mama-1978 in Nice, France. This happened
not long after Faithy and I had made a trip to Libya. Previous to meeting Mama,
I had met some of the other shepherds that in all honesty had greatly
disappointed me as their spirit seemed so different to what I would read in the
Letters. God bless dear Faithy who always inspired me to keep hanging in there
and to always look to the Letters for my guidance. So when the opportunity
arose that I was going to be meeting with Dad and Mama, I must confess that in
the back of my head I was entertaining the thought that if they were not like
the Letters, then I would just go back to the System.
Upon meeting with dear Dad and sweet
Mama, I felt like I had known both of them for many years. The spirit of love
that emanated from them brought such wonderful peace to my heart and spirit.
They were kind and loving, making sure that I felt at ease and not nervous. We
spent several hours together in that first meeting, and during the entire
course of our conversation, the Lord, our Family and His sheep were the main
topic of our conversation. It was a real experience for me to be able to meet
Dad and Mama in person, although once having met them I think I came to
understand what Dad meant in “I Gotta Split,” as we all partake of their
spirit, the way they truly are, through the Letters.
Then I was blessed to have an extended
visit to their Home while in the Philippines. I arrived on Christmas Eve,
December 24th 1984, and stayed till February 23rd. I
remember that upon arrival I was taken back by all the love that I felt coming
from all the members of their Home. At first I thought that it was all a “show”
and that they were trying to impress me. No wonder I had to be talked to about
my pride. Ha! But as the days went by and then the weeks, I realized that it
was not a show, as I too started to act more loving with others, and in my
heart grew this desire to be more like the way Dad and Mama were with us all.
It was during this time that Mama and Peter were very much involved in what was
to become our first door-to-door tapes. Sweet Dad was also working on an
exciting project, the Posters.
Of course, I was super inspired by all
that was going on, as there was excitement in the spirit. But what would amaze
me the most was that the reason behind all these different projects was the
love that Dad and Mama had for souls, and for us, their children. I sat in many
a talk in which they would refer to how the different projects would help our
Family get their needed support, as well as to make it easier for them to be
able to fulfill the commission of reaching the lost for Jesus. I was also
surprised at how saving they were with the funds that the Lord supplied. As
like I said, they were just like what I read about in the Letters, as I recall
seeing Dad asking us to save on the toilet paper by just using the minimum
amount needed, or not wasting electricity by making sure that the lights were
turned off when leaving the rooms.
It was during this time that I was also
blessed to get to know Peter more personally. Although we had met before during
my visits to Europe, previous to when he went to live with Dad and Mama, I still
hadn’t gotten to know him as well as I did during this time. I guess you could
say before we were acquainted with each other, but it was during this time that
we established a friendship. And I must say that now that the Lord has chosen
him to be my shepherd and given him a position of much greater responsibility
as he helps to lead and guide the Family, he remains just the same-friendly,
humble, loving and simple.
Through the years I’ve been able to visit
the folks’ Home various times, and each visit just helps to confirm that their
sample and what is said in the Letters are one and the same. True, as human
beings I am sure that they have their share of shortcomings and errors, but
their love for the Lord, their love for us, and their desire to see the lost
brought into His Kingdom of light is something that never ceases to amaze me,
and their sample helps to give me strength for the battle. Even when at times
things have been difficult and some of their trusted co-workers decided to go
in different ways, I didn’t hear them say anything negative regarding those
people. To the contrary, I heard their prayers for them so that in His time
they would all return to the fold.
When reading a letter sent to me by
someone who has departed from our fellowship, I could not help but feel that I
needed to write to tell you, my Family, that having met Dad, Mama and Peter,
and knowing their samples, they are still my heroes. And mind you, I am not
that easily brainwashed as many would like to accuse me of. Those who know me
well know that that would be a very difficult thing to accomplish, as I am
pretty hardheaded. It’s just that I’ve learned through my 50 years to admire,
respect and work with those whom I consider to be people worth following
because I’ve seen their sample. And what I have seen and experienced in Dad and
Mama, and now in Mama and Peter, is a sample of love for Jesus, love for His
Words, love for His children, and desire to see the lost brought into the
Kingdom.
As for me and my house, when reading some
of what those who by their own choice decided to go their own way have to say,
I think I will follow the example that sweet Dad used to give in the anecdote
about the old grandmother. When she was confronted by her young grandson who
had just graduated from college about the existence of the Almighty, all she
said was, “All I know is that I speak to Him every day and He answers me.” I
feel the same way. I am not that well-versed in my Scriptures, and honestly I
think I should do much better in that particular area, but being as practical
minded as I am, I am more the type of person that if it works, it works. I
believe in the new weapons because they work for me. I try them and God
answers. So I have no need to look for the doctrinal background or get into
theological studies. After all, God did say that His wisdom was way above mine,
so how could I ever attempt to understand what He’s trying to do? For me, if it
works, it works! So consequently it must be true. How do I know that Mama and
Peter are God’s chosen vessels to lead the Family into what I believe are the
last days of this present System? Because I follow the Words that they so
faithfully send our way and I see them work.
I love you and thank the Lord for the
blessing of being a part of the Family and under Mama and Peter’s loving
shepherding. “The Lord bless thee, and keep thee; the Lord make His face to
shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee. The Lord lift up His countenance
upon thee, and give thee peace.”
* * *
51 Months!
By Jenna, 25,
Mama’s Home
I’ve been living at Mama and Peter’s Home for over four years.
I’ve found my WS niche in editing and working on a variety of pubs such as the Grapevine,
linkUP, Heaven's Library, etc., and an assortment of secretarial
work.
Reading the recent accusations and
twisted accounts of Mama and Peter’s personalities, their modus operandi,
sinister motives and cruel treatment of people is a mind bender, I have to
admit. But it’s even more so for me, since I live with Mama and Peter. I
feel that in the past four years, I should have seen at least some of
that heartless and manipulative stuff that a few individuals are ranting about.
I’ll simply tell you what I’ve seen and
experienced over the last 51 months, and how my perspective of Mama and Peter
has changed.
Avoiding Mama
I’ve got to admit that when I first
arrived, I was nervous about meeting Mama. I had met Peter at Summit ’96 and I
knew he was down to earth-kingly, but normal. The house that Mama and Peter
were living in at the time had a beeper system in each room, and Mama’s
tell-tale beep was the single one. Everyone else beeped twice; that way you had
a little warning when it was Mama calling you (one of our staff tricks!).
I’d been in the home for about two days,
and I was in my room when I heard my first lone beep. It’s embarrassing to say
that I quickly left the room so that I wouldn’t have to answer it! Believe it
or not, my purposeful bolting took place two more times during the following 24
hours! Eeek. Finally Amy bumped into me in the hallway and said, “You know,
Mama’s been trying to beep you to say hello for two days now, but she never
seems to be able to catch you. So she asked me to find you and bring you to her
room.” Oh dear, out of the frying pan and into the fire.
Into Mama’s room I went, and she was
lying on the bed. She was quite weak at this time, and kept the room very dark
because of her eyes. She sat up and held out her arms to me, motioning for me
to come lie down next to her. I did-knees shaking-and put my head on her
shoulder. Her first words to me were, “Now, how’s my girl doing?” I burst into
tears for two reasons-one, I wasn’t doing very good, and two, because she was
so down home and loving. I felt at ease. There was nothing ultra spiritual or
complicated about her. She wiped away my tears, talked with me and prayed for
me. She took me in just like the mother that I had left behind, and her love
toward me has always been unconditional.
The
thoughtful “control freak”
During the first year or two, I didn’t have
much personal contact with Mama or Peter, as I didn’t work closely with them on
many projects. The extent of my pubs interaction with them was the Grapevine,
an occasional tape from Mama or a conversation on the beeper every now and
then, but I didn’t know her or Peter, as individuals, very well. Still, they
both made me feel at home and loved. I confided in them as much as I felt
comfortable, and as time went on, I became more and more honest with them,
because they handled my personal life with great care.
Mama loves to know what’s going on in
people’s lives. She’s generally curious about everything; she’s even interested
in our SGA “girl things,” latest trips or kicks. I can’t think of many things
she wouldn’t be interested in hearing about, especially if it has to do
with you, your work, or something you’re going through. But that’s a far cry
from being a “control freak,” as some have called her. Yes, she’ll ask how
things are going, or will call you on the beeper to ask what you’re working on,
checking on whether you can take on another project, etc. She keeps her finger
in many pies because she is responsible for the overall Family and the pubs
that go out. That’s her job. And she wants and needs to know what’s happening
in our personal lives so that she can help to shepherd and encourage us.
I can’t count how many times I’ve made a
personal tape or written a note to Mama about a battle I was going through. I
didn’t expect her to do anything about it; I was just letting her know
what I was going through and what the Lord was doing in my life. Often though,
within the next few days, or sometimes even the same day, I would find a
prophecy of encouragement printed out on nice paper outside my door, courtesy
of Mama’s thoughtfulness.
Someone has said that “control is in
Mama’s blood.” From the countless hours that I’ve spent talking with her, I’ll
tell you what’s in her blood: Love for the Lord like you have never seen, an
interest to know everything that goes on in the Family, and everyone’s personal
situations and difficulties, love and encouragement, a desire to hear from the
Lord and receive His Words and truth, and a burning, burning conviction to get
out tracts and witness.
My tract tale
Speaking of Mama’s conviction when it
comes to tract-giving, I had a very unique and unforgettable experience some
time ago, which changed my perception of Mama, and which I remember vividly to
this day.
We were in the middle of a move, and we
had less than a week to close our house down. Over half of our team had already
moved on, and we had organized a huge Sunday moving sale in our garage and
driveway, in the hopes of selling our remaining stuff/junk/furniture, etc.
Since I was leaving within the following day, I wasn’t involved in the moving
sale. I was in the midst of packing, finishing up my work, etc.
On Sunday morning, after the sale had
been in swing for a few hours, I had to go to the folks’ quarters to change a
setting on Peter’s computer. Peter wasn’t there at the time, but he said I
could go on ahead and do the work I needed to.
I headed up their stairs, and knowing
that Peter wasn’t there, I knocked softly and then entered. Mama was in the
adjoining room, and hearing my knock, she poked her head out the door into the
living room and Peter’s office area. I’ve greeted Mama many times in this
fashion, since I frequent their room rather regularly. However, this was no
ordinary time.
Mama stuck her head through the door,
looked at me and said, “Jenna, I am so upset!” I froze in my tracks and was speechless.
Quickly she qualified herself, “I’m not upset at you, but I am so
upset!” This was the first time I had ever seen Mama visibly upset. I’d talked
to her on the beeper before, or even in person when she was a bit peeved or
bothered by some bad situation, or upset at the Enemy, emphatic about
something, enthused about a prophecy, etc., but I had never heard her raise her
voice or seem physically riled up.
She went on. “I just got off the phone
with Keif, and I gave him a piece of my mind, even though it wasn’t his fault!
I was asking someone how many people have come to our moving sale so far, and
they said about 30 people. Then I asked if they had been giving out
tracts-which I reminded them to do last night-and they haven’t been. Nobody got
the tracts together, so all these people have been coming here to our house and
not getting any witness!
“What do we think is most
important?-Going to all this trouble to put so much time and work into setting
up this moving sale, just to sell hundreds of dollars worth of stuff, or giving
these people who the Lord has brought to our very door the message
through a tract? The money is not the goal! We could have just given it all
away!
“The Lord brought each of these people
here for a reason, and we’ve failed the Lord by not giving them the message.
Sure, a tract may not be very much message or very meaty, but it’s the most
important message and gift they could ever get in their entire life! Who knows?
Some of these people might never hear the message again in their lives! The
Lord is not going to bless us for failing to have tracts on hand, and
for being more concerned about the money or the set up, or whatever else!
Somebody had better get those tracts together right now, and not miss giving
them to a single person!”
Mama continued her speech for about three
minutes along these lines, while I was shaking in my boots! I just nodded with
watery eyes. The spirit of Dad had come upon her, and I remember thinking,
“This must be just like when Dad gave his ‘You are Your Own Worst Enemy’ talk!”
I mean, it was heavy. Mama was righteously angry that we were failing the Lord
by not being a witness to these people. Instead, we put so much time and prep
into the moving sale just to make money and clear out our junk, but our
priorities were wrong.
Then just as quickly as it had begun,
Mama said, “Well, Honey, I know you had nothing to do with it, and I’m sorry
you had to be here, but I had to tell someone about it. Now you’d better
get back to your work on Peter’s computer. I love you, Honey!” She smiled and
popped back into her room. And I sat down pensively and went about my business.
I didn’t forget that. It was such a
sobering experience in the spirit, and the more I thought about it, the more
glad I was to have had that chance encounter with Mama. Sure, it was a bit
scary because I was just going to plop myself down at a computer; I wasn’t
prepared for a righteous blast, so it came as a total surprise. A thousand and
one thoughts ran through my head of the latest evil deeds I had done when she
said her first words, “Jenna! I am so upset!” Ha!
It was so convicting for me to see how
concerned Mama was about these people getting the witness via tracts. Of
course, Mama has always been a great promoter of tracts, but she had also been
behind our moving sale, and encouraged us all to pitch in and get the house
cleared out. But when it came down to the bottom line, Mama had her priorities
straight; it wasn’t the money that mattered, it was the sheep.
It was comforting to me to see Mama get
so riled up about our failure to witness in the little way we could. I realized
that since I’ve lived with Mama for four years now, I’ve become familiar with
her in some ways, and am used to most of our conversation centering around
prophecy, work related matters, new pubs projects, etc. Since our job in WS is
not directly witnessing, we don’t focus on that daily, other than through
producing GP tools and helping the Family do their job. I realized that I had
gotten the subconscious impression that Mama was more concerned about prophecy
and things of a spiritual nature, than the Family’s fundamental job of
witnessing and fulfilling the Great Commission.
All throughout Dad’s Letters, you got the
grass roots perspective of him getting involved in every practical detail of
Family living. He would blast Homes for not feeding the sheep, for being
unfaithful with their follow-up ministry, etc. You knew beyond a shadow of a
doubt that Dad cared about the little people and the little sheep, and witnessing
was high on his list.
This encounter with Mama showed me how
Mama feels just the same as Dad did. Yes, most of the time she focuses on her
primary job of feeding the Family, receiving spiritual direction from the Lord,
etc., but she is certainly not missing that grass roots love for the sheep. If
anything, she’s one of the Family’s most on fire members when it comes to
witnessing at every opportunity, passing out tracts, and never being too busy
to give a witness, even though she’s one of the world’s busiest people! She
recently got out her first Activated subscription!
So, out of a three-minute hot talk from
Mama, I got a slew of lessons, a renewed appreciation of Mama, and a conviction
that will remain with me for years to come of the need to put the sheep first.
Needless to say, every person who came to
our moving sale after that got a tract and a solid witness. And we came out of
the day with the Lord’s blessing and a fruitful day as well.
My unloyal,
off-board state
When I hear allegations of Mama and Peter
“treating people badly, especially those who aren’t totally loyal or on board,”
two things come to mind. One, those people don’t live with Mama and Peter (and
haven’t for years and years), so how can they be experts on what Mama and Peter
are really like? I live with Mama and Peter, and these debasing accounts just
don’t fit the Mama and Peter I’m living with. Second, as a
barely-turned-21-year-old who came from the field straight to Mama’s house, I
believe I gave poor Mama and Peter, not to mention Gabe and Amy, a decent run
for their money when it came to my questions, problems, doubts about the
Family, the Word, prophecy, and yes, even Mama and Peter themselves. I didn’t
hold back in sharing what I thought. I didn’t hide my attitudes or perceptions,
even though today I can tell you that many were wrong and inaccurate.
Gabe and Amy, as well as Mama and Peter,
were patient, loving, and did not get on my case for not being totally loyal or
fully on board. They worked with me at a reasonable pace. They were not harsh
or cruel. There was no bullying or coercion. And believe me, I was neither
loyal or fully on board for quite some time-though I was trying, I had a long
ways to go. I pray that I am right in there now 100%, but some of my “lacking
loyalties” and procrastination in living the new weapons, being fully on board,
etc., hung on for three years. So from my own experience, I could never agree
with someone who says that Mama and Peter are intent on “ditching people” or
“throwing off the bandwagon” those who aren’t right there 100%, hanging on
their every word, utterly and totally devoted to them, saying “hail Maria” or
worshiping their guruness. That’s just not them. And do you think a bunch of
young people would stick around if they were like that?
People have said that Mama and Peter or
WS kick people out who aren’t there wholeheartedly, who disagree with how they
handle things, or who show any measure of dissenting opinion. That’s not true. I
know because I’ve been and done all those things over the last four years, and
I’m still here. Granted, I love the Lord, the Family, and I’m trying to do my
best. Still, my major battle during the past four years has been being in WS
itself! I’ve seriously struggled with living behind the scenes. It’s not
because WS is a bad place or because I don’t like the people here that I’ve
struggled; it’s because it’s not my personal nature to be selah. I’m an action
person. I love being out and about, witnessing, meeting people and having lots
of fellowship. It’s taken me about three years to accept that being behind the
scenes is my “daily sacrifice” in order to do what the Lord wants me to. I love
my work, but this ongoing nagging “I can’t live behind the scenes” crisis
certainly wasn’t going along with the “I-totally-and-blindly-love-WS” picture
that unhappy former WS members are trying to paint as being the enforced
standard.
If Mama and Peter really were the
heartless and cruel generals that some make them out to be, I know they would
have thrown me off the wagon long ago (after shooting me, naturally). How come
they didn’t, when I was, in short, a time-consuming young problem!? I went
through months of intense battles; actually, the first three months of my stay
here were real hell. I was fighting the Devil, the Lord, and anyone else in the
vicinity. But as long as I was making progress, however small, they hung in
there with me. They loved me, prayed for me, and were every inch the anointed
and caring shepherds that the Lord has confirmed they are.
A few months after I had gotten here,
Mama was talking to me on the beeper. I was miserable about something and my
attitude was, “I’m just going to tell Mama how I feel about everything, and
it’ll probably wig her out completely.” So Mama asked me about how I was doing
and I told her something lousy. I was then quiet and thought to myself, “Ooops,
poor Mama! Since she hasn’t lived around many young people, she probably
doesn’t realize that we can be rather dramatic exaggerators at times.” I felt a
little bad, because I figured she’d get pretty worried or concerned about my
dismal state. But it didn’t faze her. She said, “You know, I’ve learned some
things about you young people. It’s important to be able to interpret what you really
mean when you say things like that. For example, when you tell me that you’re
bummed out about something, I know you’ll be okay and with time it will pass.
If you say that you’re just losing it and you’re weeping, then I spend some
time praying for you. And when you say you’re about to backslide or “jump off
the roof,” then I beep Gabe or Amy and tell them to go talk to you, pray with
you, and make sure you’re okay!”
I was speechless. Mama had pegged me. She
had me figured out, and wasn’t in the least bit worried about my inflammatory
comments, because the Lord had shown her the interpretation of them. Since
then, I don’t worry about Mama misunderstanding me. On the rare occasion that
she has, she’s been willing to listen to my retake on things, and accepts it.
Confessions
don’t kill
A lot has been said about how much Mama
values honesty, and Peter does also. I remember one time just a few weeks after
coming, I was walking by someone’s room and happened to glance at a paper on
their desk. It was a prayer request for someone, and I thought it was about me.
I wasn’t trying to snoop around, but my eyes just fell on this piece of paper,
and I felt horrible. This is one of those famed and classic WS blow-its that I
read about in the pubs before coming, and I couldn’t believe I had done it! To
add to that, I felt hurt that my shepherds hadn’t told me about it, because if
there was something that I had done wrong, I wanted to know about it. A few
days later, I got up the courage to write my shepherds a little note about it.
They explained that it wasn’t about me, it was about someone else. That took
care of the problem, and I had just jumped to conclusions.-Whew!
But just a week later, us young people
were having a work meeting with Peter, Gabe and Amy, and as I walked in the
room, my eyes swept over Gabe’s computer screen, and of all things, the one
line I saw read: “personal prophecy about Jenna”-and it was from my roommate! I
felt sick. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell Gabe, since the same thing had
just happened less than a week ago! I figured this would be the confirmation to
them that I’ve been going around peeking at people’s work, and trying to find
out things that I wasn’t supposed to know. I lasted about 5-6 days, and then
wrote Gabe and Amy a little note about it, which was sweetly answered. They
said I was “passing the test of honesty.”
That evening just as I was about to go to
dinner, Mama beeped. She said, “I know once I tell you this you’re going to
think that everything you write goes everywhere, but it really
doesn’t.-Only this time it did, ha!” Mama then explained that she had just
listened to my little confession note about looking at Gabe’s computer screen,
and she said, “You know, I’m so happy that you’re so honest. That’s just
wonderful! That’s the most important thing. It doesn’t really matter to me what
you write, as long as you’re honest!”
I thought, “Boy, that’s strange.” But
it’s true. Mama didn’t mean that it doesn’t matter at all what you
write, but that you don’t have to weigh your words, or try to predict how
they’re going to be taken or understood.
Our “fun”
king and queen
There are some self-imposed “Mama and
Peter bashers” who are trying to convince people that Mama and Peter are evil,
cruel, harsh, abusive-your general ogres swinging balls and chains scenario.
That’s the tabloid version. It makes headlines, but it’s about as true as the
“child-sucking-vacuum-cleaner” discovery or “Elvis-mates-with-octopus,
has-child-with-eight-arms” stories that grown and presumably intelligent people
make a living off of dramatizing for other people.
Reality would show that Mama and Peter
are fun-loving, terrific people. I love being around them. They are
intelligent, clever, and funny. They recently took all us young people out for
a two-day outing, and it was great. It was no small feat. They took their
precious time to plan and prepare so that we could have fun. They drove us
around, showed us the sights, made sure we had what we needed, and were our
chauffeurs.
None of us young people feel intimidated
around them, like we can’t be ourselves or have fun, really do “young people”
things, because they understand us and know what we like. Yes, they uphold a
high standard and don’t let us throw all caution to the wind. But from my
experience, if you are hearing from the Lord, confirming what you do with Him,
and being prayerful, Mama and Peter are not legalistic, and they cut us young
people slack when we needed it. They have a good balance, and that’s more than
I can say for a lot of people.
A few months ago, Mama had given me a
project to work on, and it was taking longer than I had expected. I ended up
working through a movie night in order to get it done. I sent it to her late
that evening. The following morning she beeped, thanked me for the project, and
asked me to come outside to her little bathroom window. I went out there and
chatted with Mama through her little window for a minute. Then she said, “I’m
sorry you ended up working through your movie. Peter and I just wanted to give
you a little token of our appreciation-your favorite chocolate bar.”
Oh yes, what a queen and king, ha! No,
actually, I was a little surprised: first that they knew what my favorite
chocolate bar was (I’m a confirmed chocoholic!), and second, that Mama
was giving it to me! I just hadn’t pictured that sort of exchange before. As I
walked to my room with my much loved snack, I realized that though
chocolate-giving is certainly not the norm for Mama, it’s that very spirit-led
balance that makes life fun.
Prophecy
rules
Oh yes, Mama is a firm believer in
prophecy. However, she doesn’t use prophecy to control, force or coerce people
into toeing the line, obeying what she wants them to do, or to bully you
into submission, meekness or yieldedness. I know that because I’ve been a
recipient of I-can’t-count-how-many personal prophecies that she’s given me,
and I haven’t been coerced into a state of submission or meekness through it.
And, although I’m working on it, I’m still not always-100%-yielded!-Who is?
Mama gives people prophecies because she believes that the Lord’s Words,
counsel and direction is the most precious thing she could give anyone, so she
does!
I used to wonder in the back of my mind
whether prophecies were “pre-planned” or their direction predetermined. From
personal experience, I know they’re not. Sometimes of course, the Lord has
shown Mama what to do, or the answer to a problem. So when someone asks the
Lord about it, He confirms what Mama has been feeling. At other times, the Lord
gives a new direction, answer or idea-something that is news to Mama and
Peter-and they get right behind it. Mama has asked me to hear from the Lord,
and on occasion, I know I’ve gotten something different or unexpected from what
she thought the Lord might say. But she’s thankful, happy, and believes the
Lord. Mama and Peter are the best samples I’ve seen of following and obeying
the Lord and what He says. Believe me, prophecies are not “rigged.”
Some people have the idea that Mama uses
prophecy to correct or rebuke people, letting the Lord do the “dirty work,” so
to speak. Since being here, I have received a few prophecies that I would label
“heavy correction.” Of course, most prophecies have spiritual guidance,
instruction, lessons, nudges back to the straight and narrow, etc., but I’m
talking about a wrong action or attitude being pointed out via prophecy in no
uncertain terms.
In one instance, I was getting critical
of some people in the home, and it was affecting my work and its quality. She
sent me a few prophecies, in which the Lord clearly and lovingly explained the
situation and where I was letting the Enemy in. As soon as I’d gotten the
prophecies, she beeped me to tell me that she was praying for me. A few hours
later, she beeped again to check on me, making sure that I wasn’t discouraged,
encouraging me to ask the Lord for more details if I had questions, etc.
The correction was just what I needed.
Mama had every right-and was responsible-to correct me in order to ensure that
my work was hitting the mark. Even though I was certainly at fault, she was
very loving, gave me the benefit of the doubt, and made it easy for me to get
back up again. And I’ve seen her consistently treat others in the same way.
Prophecy is not used to beat people down,
indoctrinate or manipulate. It’s a beautiful gift from the Lord, which Mama
loves to share with others. I believe your perspective has a great deal to do
with how you look at prophecy. If you’re freaked about letting go of the reins
of your life, and aren’t willing to let the Lord play your little chess piece
on His board, then yes, every prophecy that gives direction or nudges you in
this direction or that is going to be a threat to your own control. But if you
value the Lord’s involvement in your life, then you can thank Mama for having
had the faith to delve into prophecy, and for encouraging every single Family
member to get the gift themselves.
If Mama really wanted to retain control
over everyone in the Family, why in the world would she have pressed for
everyone to hear from the Lord themselves? That doesn’t make sense. In doing
that, she placed responsibility, faith, trust, and ultimate control over each
individual’s life right where it belongs-smack between them and the Lord.
Switching
roles
During the last two years, my ministry
has changed. I now help to coordinate the pubs by helping them flow through the
pipelines. If there’s a glitch or need in a pubs department, I help to get it
sorted out or the need filled. Along with others, I also help Peter with some
of his secretarial work-correspondence, transcriptions, and anything else-girl
Friday style. I also do a bit of secretarial work for Mama, and I continue to
edit the Grapevine.
Since taking on these new responsibilities,
I have worked much more closely with Mama and Peter. Over the last two years,
I’ve spent a good deal of time with them. I’ve gotten to know them personally,
not just as shepherds, but as close friends who I love, trust and confide in. I
have regular meetings with both Mama and Peter about the pubs and new projects,
and as Peter’s secretary, I meet regularly with him.
As such, I’ve been privileged to see a
side of Mama and Peter that I hadn’t seen in the previous two years of living
with them. I’ve seen the behind the scenes thought, prayer, counsel and work
that goes into a GN. I’ve been part of some discussions and meetings that have
led to a new pub, a change or shift in policy, or a new vision being born. I’ve
heard Mama and Peter counsel together and discuss problems, solutions, the
Family’s burdens, and I’ve seen both their joy and sorrow in the heavy loads
they carry.
When I was on the field, all I saw of
Mama and Peter was the GNs and other pubs-printed, finalized and in my hands. I
didn’t realize all the love, prayer, tears, toil and sweat that made up those
Letters, or that went into a personal message of encouragement from Mama to
someone who is struggling. I didn’t know what Mama and Peter thought about the
problems of the Family, or how their conversations went when just the two of
them were together. Now I’ve had a glimpse into that, and my assessment is that
I’m more confident than ever in Mama and Peter’s shepherding of the Family. If
you could see their love for you, if you could see how their priority is the
Family and making things as easy as possible for you, and how every decision
they make manifests this foremost desire of theirs, coupled with getting the
Lord’s will and direction for the Family, you would never doubt.
I’m not trying to set them on a pedestal
or say that they are holy prophets. Sure, they make mistakes and are human.
They have personal preferences and ways they like to do things, just like you
and me. They have their own unique personality traits and oddities, just like
you … and maybe me, ha. But when it comes to something that affects the Family,
the Word, or someone’s life and service for the Lord, they go to the nth degree
to lay aside their own thoughts and feelings, hear from the Lord repeatedly and
get counsel from others. They are desperate to hit the mark, and they rely on
the Lord to do so.
They are shepherds who lay down their
lives for you. When Peter had his recent heart attack, he was very, very weak.
He couldn’t even open a folding chair or step up one step without having more
heart pains. Reading about the problems of the Family would also hurt his
heart. But still, he chaired the daily Activated meetings that were
being held at our Home at the time, with a few visiting CROs in attendance. He
rested when he could, but his priority remained the Family. Mama is the same.
She’ll have a cold, a headache, be sick or weak, but still, she plows through
her tapes, approves the pubs for you, sends off messages of counsel and
encouragement. She and Peter don’t stop serving you.
Even when they’re resting or taking
needed time off, what do they talk about? I’ve rarely seen them not
talking about the Family. They have a lot on their minds, and they’re always a
few years ahead-planning for how Activated is going to work in the
future, the needs of our children and their education, our FGAs getting older
and their need for more physical care and support. They’re constantly immersed
in the big picture of the Family and its needs, even though they don’t broadcast
all that they’re doing, thinking and praying about. But they are always on the
job!
Inside
Peter’s mind
Peter is, of course, different than Mama.
He’s in tune with the Lord and anointed to be king-that’s for sure. He’s also
practical, has a mind for business and details, and thinks a lot about the
future, our long-term vision as a Family, and its repercussions and results.
Since working more closely with Peter,
I’ve come to admire him a lot more. I didn’t realize before how much he
shouldered, and how much he thinks, prays, and seeks the Lord about the Family,
its direction and vision. Some of the things that have stood out to me through
working closely with Peter, and seeing him both in-cathedra/ex-cathedra, so to
speak, are the following:
He is loving, thoughtful and encouraging.
He always has a good word to say to you-the kind of comments that make you feel
like standing up a little straighter, smiling a bit more, and doing your work
with more gusto because you know it is appreciated.
He is careful, prayerful, and thorough.
He doesn’t jump to conclusions. He takes time to make decisions, because he
wants to make the right one. He doesn’t sacrifice quality or accuracy for speed
or staying on top of things, yet doing a haphazard job.
Me … well, I’m your typical SGA “now”
sort of person, fast-moving. I like to do things now. I don’t like
projects sitting around on my desk. When things come in to Peter’s mail or
desk, my happy job is to try to help however I can to get them taken care of,
if it’s something I can help with. I remind Peter of various points that need
answering, if he and Mama need to talk and pray together about a matter, etc.
My general day-to-day small mentality is: “It would be great if this could get
taken care of, or so-and-so could be answered.” One morning, not too long ago,
my mentality was enlarged, courtesy of Peter.
I was in Peter’s office, and he was
giving me some projects. I rattled off some idea about how to provide a certain
service to the Family, with each Family Home paying five dollars for it. While
the idea may have been good, and would have worked for some areas, Peter was
thinking big picture. He asked me, “What about the single moms? What about the
children? What about the guys in Russia that don’t have five bucks to pay for
what we say everybody can pay for?!” Hmm, readjustment time. Forget that idea,
or seriously rework it. I’m 25 and still working on taking off my blinders, but
thank God Peter and Mama have the global Family vision.
Odd way to
cover up
An accusation that rather inflames me
about Mama and Peter is one that accuses them of being “shepherds unwilling to
take responsibility for their actions” and “who hoodwink the sheep.” That
someone would say that Mama and Peter “deliberately mislead the Family, make
terrible mistakes and cover up their sins” shows clearly that the accuser does
not know Mama and Peter. They’ve obviously got an agenda and are intent on
throwing misplaced blame and fault.
Mama and Peter could make terrible
mistakes and then cover them up, hoodwinking the sheep and the Family in the
process. But they don’t, and if they did, we who live closest to them would
know about it. To the contrary, they admit their mistakes and are quite (you would
be surprised) open when it comes to showing fault, mistake, or human weakness.
I’ve been on the phone with Mama more
than once when she’s lamented to me about some mistake she just made, how she
went too fast or wasn’t humble enough, etc. She’s humble enough to volunteer
her mistakes and lessons, and share them with you. Peter is the same; not too
proud to admit that he blew it by not taking care of something sooner, or that
perhaps he made someone feel bad by not stopping to talk with them when he was on
his way somewhere, etc.
Case in point: A few months ago I was
having a pubs meeting with Mama and Peter. Mama was explaining an idea she had
gotten from the Lord for a new GP children’s book series. When she mentioned
that she had already beeped someone and asked them to pray about receiving the
stories, I cringed. It didn’t sound like Mama had talked with Francis, who
manages the GP department, and coordinates all its projects. With so many
projects already in the works, I felt this posed a potential problem.
I gingerly asked Mama if she’d run her
idea by Francis, and she realized that she hadn’t. As it turned out, over a
lunch meeting with other members of the GP team, this project had been
discussed, and with everyone excited about it and the Lord’s confirmation
received, Mama hadn’t realized that Francis hadn’t been present.
Right away she said, “Oh dear, I really
blew it! I’d better call him on the beeper right now and apologize, and let him
know why I overlooked telling him. That’s very bad of me.”
Well hey, it’s not that bad. I
mean, she is Mama and does have the final say on all the pubs, including GP
stuff, so what’s the big deal? Well, the big deal is that Mama has given others
authority and jurisdiction over certain departments, and it’s real
authority. She likes to go through the proper channels, and doesn’t want to
make people feel left out or overstepped. She values counseling with people.
Considering her position, I thought her reaction was very admirable, especially
since I-a 25-year-old little “sheep”-had pointed this possible error out to
her.
Both Mama and Peter take the blame for
things that they’ve done or said that cause confusion or misunderstanding.
They’ve apologized to me, and others also. I’ve seen this consistently. Why
would they confess their faults, admit their mistakes, apologize and show
themselves weak before us if they really were trying to hide so much abuse and
deceit? They wouldn’t.
Grow a brain
yourself!
I
think all young people in the Family should be outraged by James Penn’s
derogatory comments directed toward us. He makes himself sound like such a
sympathetic guy who’s concerned about us, but with his next breath cuts us and
our choices and much loved beliefs, loved ones and Family down. That’s no
friend.
His snide remarks about us “children”
possibly deciding to “grow a brain” if we were let out of the “tenacious
control” inflicted on us by the “wacky and abusive leaders of our lives” are
entirely offensive. I don’t know him personally, but if he cared to talk to me
or any of my other friends-and we’d gladly give him a piece of our minds-he
would see that our brains are just fine. We are not stunted, manipulated or
controlled. We have thoughts of our own, and plenty of opposition and
self-determination in us. He may not want to discover that for himself,
however. Seems to me he was looking for something startling and cool-sounding
to add to his allegation list. Maybe startling (though untrue) but certainly
not cool. Sorry, James.
And those of us who understand what the
Family is really about don’t feel the Family has become a “weird place.”
I think the weirdest thing involving the Family is the fact that some people
can’t seem to make a simple choice to leave the group they proclaim to hate so
much. What’s wrong with them? If it takes a grown man years and years to
make the simple, “I’m going to leave” statement, he should work on growing his
brain, and not accuse happy, content and intelligent SGAs of lacking in any
area. Don’t foist your embarrassment and shame on us. The second I’m done with
the Family, I’m outta here. It’s not going to take me years of misery to figure
out I want a different life. I just don’t get it. And I have plenty of SGA
friends who have left the Family plenty quickly; and they didn’t miserate
(courtesy of Alana, in the terrific “new wine laced novel,” Blood and
Freedom) the rest of us with their pitiful diatribes once they had done so.
One of the more valid accusations, in my opinion,
is that of young people and others leaving the Family without much support, or
others still in the Family feeling that the “judgments of God” may fall on
them. That has truth to it. When I was growing up, that was generally the
impression I had. But times have changed over the last year or two. Family
policy on this issue has taken a turn, and love, support, physical help and all
those other good and needed things are very much encouraged and promoted, which
renders that as an allegation of the past now.
I’m personally glad for that change of
attitude. Yet I also have enough sense to realize that while our past stance
was not the best, hurt people and made some feel ostracized and cut
off-everyone makes mistakes. The important thing is being willing to change and
rectify them, which the Family has now done. So you can get hung up on that and
cry “old abuse!” or you can choose to appreciate the fact that yes, we are a
fallible human movement, but that we’ve just improved our Family by a leap and
a bound. That’s my take.
Wrapping
things up
I pray my story has shown you what Mama
and Peter are actually like. The lives they live day in and day out can’t be
compared to the horrible things some accuse them of.
Don’t let a well written letter or a clever
speaker convince you of things he or she knows precious little about. We who
live with Mama and Peter are the ones who really know what they’re like, how
they live, what they do from day to day, how they view the Family, and what
their motivations are. Most everything else is supposition, old and twisted
stories (pretzel style), and largely hype.
Choose who you’ll believe.
* * *
Dear Family,
I love you and thank the Lord for you,
and count it an honor to serve you in WS. In fact, I consider it an honor to be
in the Family. Even after nearly 30 years as a Family member, I still
regard it as the best way and place to serve the Lord that I've ever seen. I
wouldn't trade it for the world, and I've had plenty of chances to do so.
There've been some anti-Family diatribes
from ex-members making the rounds lately, especially one lengthy article from a
friend of mine who used to be in WS, in which he condemns Dad, Mama, Peter, the
Letters, and a lot of things I believe in wholeheartedly.
After having to read his article, which
contains many lies, half-truths, fabrications, distortions and deceptions, I
feel sort of like Dad must have felt when he sat down and wrote "Our
Answers to Interviu's 202 Lies" or "The 51 Errors of Daily
Notices." Dad wanted to list everything that was wrong with these
anti-Family articles-to enumerate the lies one by one. That's what I'd like to
do with this anti-Family article in front of me. If I had the time and space I
would-I'd be happy to discuss each point in detail, with my ex-member friend or
anyone else. But to save your time, I'll just hit the highlights.
What right do I have to reply to these
accusations? Well, just as James could say "I was there," so can I.
In fact, I'm still there. I live with Mama and Peter and help them with
their work in whatever way I can, just as I did earlier with Dad and Mama.
I joined the Family in early 1971,
dropping out of college to do so, and dropping into nearly 200 crazy characters
living together at 5th and Towne in Los Angeles. It was quite a switch from
college life for me, but I was an idealist and I was willing to follow those
ideals wherever they took me. I wanted to make a difference in the world and
change it for the better somehow. So when I got saved with the Family and it
dawned on me that saving souls made an eternal difference in people's
lives, that's what I wanted to do. The Family seemed the best place to do it,
so I stuck around, and I haven't changed my mind in the nearly 30 years since
then.
I've been in WS for almost 20 of those
years, first working with Dad and Mama, then later with Mama and Peter, as well
as one of the WS pubs units. My ministry during this time has mainly been the
Word and helping to get it out to you, so I think I can comment on it just as
knowledgeably as James can. In fact, like Paul, I think I could say, "if
any other man thinketh that he hath whereof he might trust in the flesh
(comment on the Word, in my case), I more" (Phil.3:4).-Ha! I've helped to
get out every GN since #1, put together a few of the Statements myself, and
went over the ones which James worked on as part of my work-and I have a very different
opinion of the Statements, the Word and the Worders than he does. In fact, I
don't agree with him at all; I wouldn't be here if I did. Unlike him, I
wouldn't be able to stick around for years while I disagreed with so much of
what the Family believed in or stood for. I'd just be outta here.
I've worked under bad leadership in my
time in the Family-under Deborah, Jethro, Isaiah, Rachel and others involved in
the Chain. I know what bad leadership is-I've had them stand six inches from my
face and scream at me. I know what "abusive, controlling, manipulative,
self-centered, deceitful and callous leaders" are like, who "bully
people into submission." These are the words James calls Dad, Mama and
Peter. Well, believe me, Dad was not like that, nor are Mama and Peter! After
the RNR, I resolved never to live under those types of leaders again, and I
haven't-and don't.
In the 14 years I knew Dad, listened to
him give talks, and even lived right outside his and Mama's room, I never knew
him to be any of those things. He was sweet, loving, considerate, honest, open
and very sensitive to people's needs. I'm thankful to have known him and to
have worked with him.
In the nearly 20 years I've known Mama,
I've never found her to be that way either, nor to be a "control
freak." I've found her very open to suggestions, changes, and new ways of
doing things, and she's thrilled when people take the initiative to do what the
Lord shows them.
I've known Peter for nearly 27 years,
since I met him not long after he joined the Family, and I lived in Homes with
him years before coming to WS. And neither he nor Mama nor Dad
"manipulate, intimidate, bully and belittle people," as some
ex-members would have you believe. Nor do they "bring out the knives"
if there's "any hint of disloyalty." Hey, I know-I've disagreed myself
at times, and I've even done stupid things that could have endangered Dad and
Mama's security. But I'm still here, and not because "they kept
staff members in line with tactics that caused a great deal of fear."
(Judging by some of the things he's
saying, I think my ex-member friend must have lost touch with reality somewhat;
maybe it's from watching the movie "A Man for All Seasons" so often
and identifying with Sir Thomas More so much, as he writes in his article.
Well, Sir Thomas More was certainly a great Christian, but he was also a
staunch defender of the old church-Roman Catholicism in his day. He considered
Martin Luther a heretic, wrote speeches and articles against him and his
"heretical" notions of salvation by grace, and had a few local
heretics flogged to teach them a lesson. So Sir Thomas was a defender of the old
church and its ways against the new notions and inspirations that God
had given Luther straight from His Word. Perhaps there's some present-day
parallel here.)
Let's go back to some of the accusations
of Mama and Peter not tolerating any disagreement. That's not true-along with
many other things in my friend's article-and I know, because I've
disagreed. When the Loving Jesus revelation first came out, I was blown away,
to put it mildly. I didn't see how I could practice it, and I didn't think it
was a good idea for the Family as a whole. I told Mama that, and she sweetly
suggested I just hang on, have patience, give it a try, and give the Lord more
time. I did, and I've come to accept it, like it and enjoy it. It took me
several months to get to that point, but I did, and I can say that it's borne
good fruit in my life. In the interim period, I wasn't condemned or looked down
on or thought of as weird.
As far as the new weapons go, I was a
pretty slow starter there, too, since I didn't have the gift of prophecy! For
nearly 26 years in the Family, when we'd have prophecy sessions, about all I
got was an occasional verse, and usually not even that. Sometimes the only
fruit of me sitting there with my eyes closed trying to receive things from the
Lord was that I'd fall asleep, and once I even started to snore in a prophecy
session-very embarrassing, as you can imagine! But contrary to accusations, WS
is not an army in which "the wounded are shot and their bodies are thrown
off the back of the wagon." Mama simply had the faith that I'd get the
gift of prophecy, and a few years back I did receive it.
Since that time I've gotten prophecies
from the Lord, Dad, spirit helpers, departed Family members, and even Abrahim.
Some have been directional prophecies that I've seen fulfilled wonderfully, and
they've been a big help to me and provided guidance. I don't have a problem
with good spirits speaking to me, because again, their messages have borne good
fruit in my life. They've worked. If my friend doesn't want to believe that
good spirits can speak and pass on messages-which is completely scriptural, and
I'd be glad to have a Bible study with him-well, that's fine with me. Millions
of church folks believe the same way as he does, so he's got plenty of company.
It does really bug me that he'd condemn me for getting messages from
departed spirits, though. Seems pretty closed-minded to me, the same thing he's
accusing us of. Maybe it's the "Thomas More" Syndrome cropping
up again, wanting to flog the "heretics."
Now regarding Mama being a "control
freak," I can testify that's not the case. I've been an eyewitness to her
open-mindedness hundreds of times over the years, in publication after publication.
A number of us in WS read the advance texts of Letters before they go off,
because Mama is interested in our opinions or wants to know if there's anything
unclear or any more points that need to be covered. I help compile those
suggestions and comments, and they're what some people might consider
shockingly frank and blunt. But I've found that Mama doesn't go by the tone of
the comment so much as whether it's a valid point or not; and if the Lord says
that it's a valid point and leads to make a change as a result, she's very
willing to make additions or revisions, or in some cases even drop portions of
text, with the Lord’s confirmation. I've never seen her "arrogantly beat
and bully people into submission" for their comments on the Letters-including
my friend. In fact, she often wanted to make sure she had his
comments!
As far as Dad, Mama and Peter being
afraid to admit they're wrong, covering their sins and deliberately misleading
the Family, the politest thing I can call that accusation is a bunch of
hogwash. Dad often admitted he was wrong in the Letters. My friend and I were
there with Dad and Mama the day we were all to go to South America; our bags
were packed and we were standing by the front door waiting for the taxi to the
airport. Then Dad sent word that we weren't going that way, because it was the
wrong way; we were supposed to go East instead, to Sri Lanka. And Dad didn't
just tell us. He told the whole Family.
My friend and I were both there at the
dinner table the night Dad made his confession, "I Was an Alcoholic."
Dad didn't have to confess that, but he did, and again he published it.
(And later gave up drinking completely.) Dad confessed his faults and failings many
times, and Mama has done the same ("Mama's Love Story" and “Golden
Victories” spring to mind, for one recent example), as has Peter (remember all
those Letters on jealousy?). So there are many examples of Dad, Mama and Peter
being willing to humble themselves in print and confess their faults, even
though they didn't have to-even though the Family might never have found out
about their faults and failings otherwise.
Most of us in WS also share our mistakes,
lessons and faults with you in the Family at one time or another, if it's
beneficial. (However, I notice my dear friend didn't mention any of his
mistakes or faults in his anti-Family article-and I can assure you he has some,
just like I do. The intent of his article seemed to be to blast others
for their so-called faults and failings while avoiding mentioning any of
his own.)
My friend says he could "write a
book about the indignities Mama and Peter heaped on people." Well, as far
as I'm concerned it'd probably be about the shortest story ever written, and
his book would have to go in the fiction section of the library-or maybe
fantasy would be a more appropriate classification for it.
My friend says he's lived with Dad and
Mama and Peter and seen their hypocrisy or unloving deeds. For the record, I
and others in WS have lived with them longer than he did, and we'd gladly
dispute his accounts. Funny that only those who leave and grow bitter and
resentful bring up such tales of atrocities. Weighed in the balances, there are
a far greater number of us who have stuck around. Of course, my friend calls us
the weird "cult within a cult," so what do all of us know?
He also says that "no adult in their
right mind joins the Family nowadays." Well, the 257 adults who joined
last year (and this doesn't include births), must have all been crazy, I guess,
as well as the 13,000 of us who are still in the Family, which he calls "a
very weird place." That reminds me of a few stanzas from Dad's poem
"Don Quixote," in which he says:
They tell me our
goodness is badness
Our singing of
songs is in vain.
But I tell them
their wisdom is madness
I'd far rather
sing than complain!
So I'd rather be
happy in Jesus
Than sane as the
Devil and bad.
If it's madness
of spirit that frees us,
I'd rather be
mad and be glad!
For we live in a
world full of madness
Where all are
insane but we!
I'll take my
world full of gladness
Though you call
it fantasy.
Your world may
be sane but temporal-
While mine is
unseen but more real!
You call me
insane and immoral
In this madness
of gladness I feel.
But I say it is you
who are crazy
And it's I
who have reality!
It is you who
are mad and amaze me,
For mine's for
Eternity!
You're mad, and
you don't even know it!
It's you who are
living in dreams!
It's I who am
glad, and I show it!
I dance on in
spite of your screams.
It's you who are
living in madness!
It's you who are
really insane!
It's we who have
Jesus and gladness,
And we'll have
it again and again!
So here's to our
dear Don Quixote,
Pied Piper,
Rasputin and MO!
I'd rather be
their blest devotee
Than have your
insane world of woe!
As Dad says in this same Letter, "It
depends on who's calling who crazy!"
My friend may label Dad as an
"eccentric ghost," but I honor him as a prophet whose words changed
my life, and whom I respect as a great man of God. My friend is welcome to his
own opinion, of course, but I must say I consider it pretty vile of him to
practice character assassination on someone who's dead and can't defend himself
in person-especially since he says he has no faith in Dad speaking from beyond.
Regarding our "strange doctrines"
that cause the Family to not bear fruit, again I'm afraid I'll have to disagree
with my friend. I wish we were bearing more fruit, and I think we will
very soon through the Activated push and our coming changes in Family
structure. But it's not the fault of our doctrines that we're not bearing
fruit; it's our own fault, Lord help us.
Perhaps my friend isn't aware of the fact
that some of the religions with what others would consider "strange
doctrines" are some of the fastest-growing in the world. The Jehovah's
Witnesses have some very odd doctrines-I know, because my aunt was one, and
I went to the Kingdom Hall with her many times as a child-but their growth is
explosive. They don't consider their beliefs odd, and they're very
enthusiastic in their witness, so there are millions of them. The Mormons
don't consider their beliefs odd either, although many others do, yet they're
another new religion with phenomenal growth. And for that matter, the biggest
Protestant denomination in North America, the Southern Baptists, won't
ordain women to preach the Gospel, something that many people consider strange
and unscriptural. But the 15 million Southern Baptists aren't ashamed of their
doctrines, and it hasn't stopped their growth. And let's not forget the beliefs
of many other major religions and groups considered odd and strange by
outsiders-the Hindus, Buddhists, Orthodox Jews and others. The bottom line is
that our doctrines are not odd or a problem. Our doctrines make us what we are,
and I thank God for them!
I thank God for the Family. We have our
faults, because we're human, but we're the best thing I've ever found-and I
don't say that just because I've become "institutionalized," as my
friend terms it, and couldn't make it outside the Family. During the NRS era I
had a job for about a year, and during that time I became one of the
highest-paid accountants in the country I lived in, hobnobbed with the rich and
powerful, attended investment conferences in Switzerland, etc., all as a result
of the training I had received in the Family. And at the end of that year, I
was exceedingly glad to give up my money, lifestyle and perks to be a full-time
Family member once again. Thank God for the Family, and thank God for you dear
Family members who I am honored to serve alongside!
Love, Joseph.
* * *
No Pressure
I haven’t taken the time to read James
Penn’s whole letter, but did catch a couple parts, and one statement that struck
me as particularly off, due to my personal experience, was the part where he
says, “as long as an individual is perceived to be an ‘on board,’
loyal, unquestioning follower” that Mama and Peter are loving and concerned,
but “if Maria and Peter detect any hint of disloyalty, the knives come out and
things often get ugly very quickly.”
I know the above statement to be false,
because I was in a situation around a year ago where I wasn’t totally “on
board.” In fact, I was far from it. I was pretty far behind in implementing the
new weapons and wasn’t growing with the way the Lord was asking us to go as a
Family. I wouldn’t say I was necessarily “disloyal,” but I was definitely not
an “unquestioning follower”! I knew I was basically out of it, and that I was
going to need to make a choice regarding the level of dedication that I wanted
to live.
Around that time, Mama and my dad visited
our WS unit. It was a surprise, as none of us knew they were coming. But I
never felt the slightest bit of condemnation or that they were looking down on
me, although they obviously knew my situation. Their visit was very short, but
during the course of their visit I had a chance to talk to both Mama and my
dad, and they were very reassuring that no matter what I did or what choice I
made-be it staying and working in WS, going to the field, or even if I chose a
life outside of the Family-they still loved me. They made it obvious that if I
did choose life in WS that I would have to make changes. But the point was,
that the choice was mine and they weren’t going to treat me badly one way or
the other.
The choice I ended up making was to stay
in WS and commit to the standard the Lord has asked of us. But in no way in any
of this did I feel pressured or did I feel that just because I wasn’t “on
board” that they loved me any less or even treated me any differently. It was
definitely a far cry from the way James depicted things above.
Since then I’ve made some big changes,
and although I know I haven’t attained, I would say that I’m “on board,”
because I believe wholeheartedly in and am proud of where the Family is going
and what we’re doing. I wouldn’t necessarily call myself an “unquestioning
follower,” because I don’t believe that’s the goal, and neither do I think
that’s what Mama and Peter expect.
* * *
By Louise,
24, Mama’s Home
I joined Mama and Peter’s staff nearly
four years ago, in September of ’96. Prior to my arrival in this Home, I had
lived at a CRO office, and over the course of my teen and YA years and travels
across various continents, met and lived with several sets of Family
leaders-including NASes, NOs, CROs and those with other initials. As a
secretary who has worked for a wide variety of leaders over the past 10 years,
I’ve liked most of my “bosses,” but I have to say in all fairness that of all
leaders I’ve lived and worked with, Mama and Peter are the least intimidating
and most unassuming of them all. I’ll
admit I have worked for other leadership who I did not feel comfortable
speaking my mind and heart to. I won’t say I was afraid, because I’m not the
type that is easily intimidated. In fact I “warned” those on Mama and Peter’s
staff who wrote me with an invitation to join their Home that I might not be
what they were looking for.
I was of the mindset then that those in
WS were probably the “extremely yielded, totally in the spirit” type of people,
and I in all honesty had to admit I didn’t fit that category-and I don’t know
to this day if I ever will. I’ve always had a hard time with authority figures
in general; I’m just not the unquestioningly obedient type. It’s my nature to
question anything and everything, including established rules and
procedures-especially those that affect me personally and that have potential
to “cramp my style.” I’ve been in Homes where there were rules that to me
bordered on the ridiculous, such as dictating who one could or couldn’t sleep
with, for example. I haven’t encountered any such thing in Mama and Peter’s
Home.
It’s been stated by some who dislike Mama
and Peter and their way of operation, that they are quick to discard anyone
that’s not “completely on board” to the point of being a mindless “yes” person,
and that they surround themselves only with the utterly submissive. I wish you
all could visit our Home and see what kind of opinionated characters, yours
truly included, Mama and Peter have chosen to surround themselves with.
It’s also been said they treat people
badly, that they trample on the rights of the little people, that they don’t
listen to anyone, and if they do, they never change anything. Speaking as a
“little person,” I can testify that that’s not true either. A while after I
joined their staff, Mama’s secretary sat down for a chat with me and asked me
if I could join the “locals” team to help proofread the GNs. She told me how
Mama was grateful for any and all input, that I shouldn't hold back, but should
state what I felt, whatever it was. I told them they didn’t know what they were
asking for, and promptly decided to put their assurances to the test.
It wasn’t difficult to come up with the
questions, and I put every single one down on paper. Then for months I would
tediously check the finals of the pubs to see whether my perspectives and
questions had been taken into consideration. I could tell that they had. Many
times questions I had raised were addressed in the form of an addition to the
pub, helping to fill out the picture further or explain an angle that could
have been misunderstood or misapplied, for example. Of course it wasn’t always
the case that things went “my way,” as sometimes something just had to be said
regardless of whether I or other young people in the Family would squirm about
it or dislike it. Just the same, I could tell from those things that had been
adjusted, that what I had to say mattered. Mama in all sincerity appreciates my
and others’ comments.
I think some of us are argumentative by
nature-not in a malicious way, but we just feel a moral obligation to ensure
that the other side of the story, whatever the story is, has been brought up.
I’m very much like that, and certainly sense a “kindred spirit” in that sense
with Mama. Looking back over the older Letters, that’s how she used to work and
interact with Dad, and now that she has the responsibility he used to have, she
is very open and appreciative of the same quality in others.
I think that Mama is one of the most
open-minded people I know. There are a lot of people, including other shepherds
in the Family who, when confronted with some bizarre statement or rash
suggestion from a young person, will immediately dismiss their idea or request
as unacceptable. I’ve seen it and I’ve felt it. But I haven’t known Mama to be
that way. Yes, she loves prophecy and treasures the Lord's Words that are
spoken that way, and has certainly encouraged us as her staff and helpers to
use it, Ask-Me -Everything style. Yet it is entirely unfair to her to suggest
that she uses it as a weapon of control or manipulation. To the contrary, I
would say that it is useful to us as a tool towards self-determination, moving
everything away from the “one man show” of a leader determining what people
will or won’t do and how they’ll operate or not operate, and placing that
responsibility as well as privilege on us. Mama and Peter trust me and respect
me as an individual, as do the shepherds of our Home, who they personally
trained and appointed. They are very appreciative of my talents and good
qualities, and very tolerant of my lacks and character flaws.
I recently visited my family on the mission
field, who, knowing I live in Mama and Peter’s Home, were most curious to find
out whatever they could about our inner workings. They wanted to know about the
rules, the do’s and the don’ts, what we did or didn’t do, what we could or
couldn’t get away with. “Rules?” I asked myself. It dawned on me that really
the leading “rule” around here, if it can be called that, is that people hear
from the Lord personally before making a personal decision. We also keep in
fairly close touch with our shepherds, and often chat with them about what
we’re up to and what’s happening in our lives, and sometimes send them (and
Mama) copies of the personal messages we’re getting from the Lord. If I want to
engage in a certain activity, read or view certain material, or get involved
with a certain person, then provided it doesn’t contravene the Charter or our
basic Home guidelines, there is no one to tell me I can’t-only someone to
encourage me to hear from the Lord before making my decision.-And I’ve found
the Lord, like Mama, to be very open-minded, very tolerant of questions, and
open to discussion and even negotiation.
Not long ago I had asked about visiting
some loved ones in a WS unit in another country for a few weeks. One of the
shepherds prayed about it at Mama’s request, and the Lord indicated it wouldn’t
be the best time, as things were very busy around here and my help was needed
to keep things rolling. Mama gave me a copy of this message, prefacing it with
a very sweet and understanding explanation over the intercom, showing a lot of
concern for my desires and emotional involvement. Somewhat to my
surprise-though I shouldn't have been surprised, knowing the way she is-she
even threw in that “if after reading this message and praying about it
personally, you still feel you really want to and should go, then maybe we can
‘appeal’ and ask the Lord again.” Fancy that. I did very much want to go, but
after further prayer and thought myself, I realized it really wasn’t a good
time and agreed to wait on it.
I wasn’t all too keen at first on the idea of how much prophecy
goes on around here, and how much everything is prayed about. Yet I’ve come to
see through personal experience that it’s really the way to go. It assures me
that Mama is not “the woman in control,” but that she is open to following the
Lord's direction, no matter whose mouth it comes through. It also gives me much
more room to maneuver, as I know that I’m free to express my thoughts and they
will be considered and prayed about-most likely by me-and won’t be casually
dismissed as unimportant, insignificant, rebellious, or what have you.
Mama not a good listener? She spends most of her day listening-to
messages from the Lord, as well as the ideas, thoughts, and heartcries of her
family, in and out of WS.
Some former Family members would have us
young people believe that we are only in the Family because we have no other
options, nowhere else to go, and are too weak and spineless to stand on our own
two feet and make our own decisions in life. That severely offends me. I’ve
been home schooled to a college level, have learned three languages besides my
own, am a fast learner, and have a variety of skills from secretarial and
managerial to creative writing to teaching children of all ages-plus I’m
Jewish, and as everyone knows, we have certain qualities that prevent us from
being pushed around too easily.
Don’t try to tell me I couldn’t make a
decent life for myself outside the Family. I almost want to prove to you it’s
not true. But I’m here because I love the Lord and want to serve Him, and
because the Family, and WS in particular, is a place where I can do that, and
not only do it, but do it in the way that I enjoy, feel comfortable with, and
am able to use my talents and speak my mind freely.
References to young people in the Family
not being given opportunity to “grow a brain” are likewise… well … retarded. We
all have brains-they are an inherent characteristic of every human on the face
of the Earth. Spend some time with a two-year-old, or a teenager for that
matter, and you’ll know that no amount of “programming” or “indoctrination” is
going to make that child ever think the same way as his parent does, or listen
to and obey them without reservation. God made us to think, to question, to decide.
That’s what separates humanity from the animal kingdom.
A good portion of my close friends
through my childhood and teen years have left the Family at some point during
the past 7 years. Every single time that has happened I’ve re-evaluated and
reconsidered my decision to stay. Maybe one day when doing so I’ll decide not
to anymore, but it won’t be because of what someone else thinks or feels or
says. I’m not that easily influenced, for good or bad. I only wish that
everyone would feel the same way. Don’t stay if you don’t want to, and don’t
leave if you don’t want to. Follow your heart. You know what’s true, you know
what’s right for you-and what’s right for you is to be dictated and decided by
you and you alone. Likewise it’s for every other person you know-or don’t
know-to decide what they want to do or not do with their life, so for God’s
sake don’t be a manipulator who tries to persuade others to either leave or
stay when that’s not what they want to do.
One former member wondered aloud, “How
many Family members are sincerely proud of all the Family's present-day beliefs
and practices?” I, for one, am. I am more than aware of how odd some of our
beliefs appear to those who either don’t understand or agree with them, and I
think that they have a right to feel and believe whatever they want-but
conversely, so do I. If I want to have sexual fantasies about Jesus, if I want
to converse with my departed grandfather, if I choose to believe that I have
the freedom under the Law of Love to have pre-marital sex with more than one
partner, what the hell should anyone care? It’s not harming anyone, and it
helps me express the cravings within my own spirit and fulfill my desires, and
at the same time be able to serve the Lord. I don’t know of any other church where
I could find that kind of combination. If you do, you know where to contact me.
I’d certainly consider it.
P.S. A wee word on allegations of child abuse: While growing up in
the Family I’ve lived in over 10 countries on three continents, in all types of
Homes from the very small (my family) to the very large (HCS, approximately 200
people at the time.) I have a very good memory. I remember the house I lived in
when I was barely two years old, and just about everything from there
on-sometimes more than my mom does. I have no recollection of any form of
abusive treatment, sexual or otherwise. I have a few friends-girls my age or
thereabouts-who had untoward experiences with a rogue male here or there, but I
also have many friends who, like me, led peaceful and undisturbed childhoods.
We knew we were loved and cared for, and in fact I believe afforded a respect
that most any child in the world would be privileged to experience in their
formative years.
* * *
By Rebecca, 26, Mama’s Home
I’ve lived with Mama
and Peter for four-and-a-half years. During that time I’ve worked with them
pretty much on a daily basis-both on a secretarial level, as well as a personal
level. I’ve traveled with Peter, I’ve stayed in Mama’s room when Peter was away
and her health was poor. I’ve typed their tapes, helped them with their
messages and correspondence, and helped Mama with her work on the pubs. I’ve
filled in for Rose (their full-time personal helper) when needed, and taken
care of their foods and other personal needs like cleaning their room and doing
their laundry. I’ve packed for them during times of travel or moving, and
helped take care of them when they were sick.
I’m not telling you these things to be
proud or to boast of how helpful I am or how undeservingly privileged I am to
live close to Mama and Peter and have this level of interaction. I know without
a shadow of doubt that it’s not by any goodness of my own that I’m here. But
I'm explaining what I do because I believe that during this time that I’ve
lived with them, I’ve gotten to know them fairly well-both on a work level, as
well as a personal level.
Hearing of the accusations against them
that are currently being circulated, my response is that I only wish every
Family member could have the chance to come and see for themselves what our
king and queen are like. But since that’s not possible, I want to share my
personal experience of what I’ve found in working with them. This is my
personal testimony-you can choose to believe it or not. But there is no doubt
in my mind that your hearts would be comforted and the lies put to rest if you
were able to see for yourself. I’m not going to try to say that I’ve found
either Mama or Peter to be perfect-because that’s not the case. But I have
found them to be two of the most loving and unselfish people I’ve ever met.
One of the accusations
that upsets me the most personally is the insinuation that Mama and Peter have
selfish motives for leading the Family in the way that they are, that they are
egotistical and self-glorifying. Nothing could be further from the truth. Mama
and Peter both live to serve the Family. If they were living for themselves,
their lives would be so different they would be unrecognizable. If they were
living selfishly, they might be able to put on a good front to people who
didn’t live with them, but not to those of us who come in and out of their room
bringing tapes and messages, beeping them at all hours to ask questions
pertaining to work, and working with them on projects that require lots of
prayer, hard work, concentration, and urgent attention.
I have never met anyone who works longer
hours than Mama. When she’s not on the beeper, counseling or praying about
something with someone, or in a meeting, she’s working on a GN or listening to
tapes-tapes from you, her beloved Family, or messages from the Lord about
problems that have come up, or approving a pub-a Kidland or Eve
or Grapevine or Zine etc. It requires a tremendous amount of
concentration to put together a GN, or approve a pub, or edit a Letter by just hearing
the material!-You should try it sometime! You can’t see it, you can’t skip back
two pages to see where that point was covered before. It’s a huge amount of
work, because she can’t use her eyes.
She’s often tired. She often doesn’t feel
well. She often asks for prayer that she’s able to get more work done. She uses
every spare minute. She listens to her tapes when she’s exercising on the
exercise bike or treadmill, and even when she’s washing her face or brushing
her teeth. How she manages, I don’t know-but I do know that she is motivated to
do it because of her love for the Family and her desire to make their job as
easy as possible. If there’s something that she can do, or that WS can do to
help, to make someone’s life easier, to give the Family what they need in some
way, she endeavors to get it done no matter what the cost to her personally.
Another way she manifests her love for
the Family is by her faithfulness to pray. She is personally involved in making
sure we have a comprehensive list of the important current prayer requests for
each prayer morning, which we have every two weeks, and she makes sure that we
keep up with our prayer times at meals and vigils, that we cover all the
requests for prayer that have been sent in. She is faithful to remind us that
many of the requests for prayer that come in are confidential or personal
prayer requests, which don’t go to anywhere else, and so the responsibility
lies with us to uphold those situations in our prayers. She and Peter take time
every morning to pray together for the various requests. And any time when you
talk to her on the beeper about anything, she prays for that situation and the
people involved. You can’t tell me that those heartfelt intercessory prayers come
from selfish motives.
The same is true of
Peter. Those of you who have met him on trips have probably seen a glimpse of
how much he gives. It doesn’t matter how tired he is, how little sleep he got
the night before, or the fact that once he gets back to his room he has to read
tons of messages and answer timely matters that have come up-he will still take
time with each person who needs to see him, and does what he can to help them
with their problems or at least pray for them. When he gets back to his room,
he’ll dictate a tape of prayer requests that people asked him to pray for, will
request prophecies for those who needed additional counsel, and will follow-up
on any urgent situations that needed attention. When he finally gets home he
has meetings about things that need to change, and they try to remedy those
situations. His loving concern for each person isn’t just a show-it’s genuine.
And when he’s not traveling, it’s the same-all day his work involves reading
about problems, and praying about how to solve them.
Mama and Peter are
faithful to remind those of us in WS that we are servants of the Family. They
live that sample on a daily basis. What more can I say?
One of the rumors
going around about Mama is that through the prophecies she publishes in the
GNs, she tries to control the Family. In order to do this, she slants the
prophecies whichever way she wants them to go. One of my jobs is helping Mama
with her work on the GNs and other pubs, by typing her tapes of dictation or
corrections, incorporating the changes into the file, and praying about wording
changes at her request, etc. When I originally started doing this, I wondered
if it would make me lose my respect for the Word, because I was getting a
close-up look at what went into the pubs, how they came about, etc. But the
opposite is true-my respect for the Lord’s words that Mama publishes has only increased,
because I’ve seen the very great amount of prayer that she puts into each GN
that she prepares and each publication that she approves.
Mama is so prayerful. When she hears a
prophecy that she thinks would be helpful for the Family to hear, she asks
someone to pray about which pub it could go in, or if it should go in a GN.
When she listens to the prophecies that she has compiled for a GN, if
anything’s not clear, she’ll ask the Lord about it. She asks the Lord about the
order, she asks the Lord about the presentation, she asks the Lord about the
general direction several times. If a certain wording could have a
double meaning or is unclear, she’ll ask the Lord how He wants to reword it.
Mama doesn’t like to use the term
“editing” when referring to prophecy-because even the smallest wording change
in a prophecy is taken back to the Lord. If something is repetitious, she’ll
ask the Lord what He wants to delete. If something doesn’t cover a certain
aspect of the subject that she feels would come up, she goes back to the Lord
for more. She carefully prays about everything-and asks a variety of her
channels to pray about these things. So it’s obvious to me that it’s not like
one person’s opinion influences the direction. To say that Mama slants the
prophecies in a certain direction according to what she personally wants must
definitely be coming from someone who doesn’t know Mama very well.
Another accusation
being leveled against them is that they bully people into submission with
prophecy. I have received quite a number of personal prophecies from them
during the years I’ve lived with them-some prophecies of encouragement, others
instructional, even some pretty strong correction. But every one was given with
a great deal of love, a tremendous amount of understanding and even benefit of
the doubt.
There have been times that something in
one of the prophecies went down sideways. There was one time that I even felt
unjustly accused of something that I didn’t think I was guilty of, and wondered
whether the person receiving the prophecy had really gotten it right. I
expressed these feelings to Mama, and instead of telling me that “Well, that’s
what the Lord said, so you’d better believe it and receive it,” she suggested
that I could ask the Lord further about it personally, as He might have an
explanation that would help make it easier. Sure enough, when I asked the Lord,
He explained how I was meant to apply the lesson-which was very different from
the way I had originally taken it-and it made perfect sense and was easy to
receive. Mama was very enthusiastic about the message I got, and supportive of
the way the Lord had explained it.
If I had not asked the Lord about it, I
might have continued feeling bad and misunderstood. But when I asked the Lord,
He explained it all so that it made perfect sense. I can see how someone might
have a negative reaction to a prophecy-it’s happened to me, too. But you can’t
just leave it at that or it will fester and become a negative experience. You
have to ask the Lord about it further so that you can see the complete picture.
That is something Mama always advocates and encourages. She doesn’t expect you
to take only what she has given you and leave it there, but to always ask the
Lord more about it so that you can get the full picture.
Mama and Peter are very open to
suggestions, ideas, even contrary ideas and opinions. Rumors are going around that
they’re closed-minded, they want people out of the Family who don’t think like
they do, and they don’t listen when contrary ideas are presented. My personal
experience is exactly the opposite. I’m a sensitive person by nature (a.k.a.
proud-yes, I’m working on it), and if I say something and it’s shot down or I
receive a negative reaction, I don’t often go there again. But I am very free
to speak my mind with both Mama and Peter.-That in itself is proof that they
respond positively to contrary opinions!
They don’t just take all those opinions
and act on them-thank God! But they do consider them seriously, they take them
to the Lord, they bounce them around with others, and they make their decisions
in accordance with what the Lord shows them. I’ve had some of my suggestions
taken, others not. Some have been taken in part, and used to modify the
original idea. Others have simply precipitated more prayer and counsel on the
topic, but the original idea still stood. But I know for a fact that they
welcome ideas and opinions, and they take them seriously. I’ve never felt
brushed off, or worse yet any kind of negative reaction or bad vibes because of
something I’ve brought up.
They believe that personal initiative and
each of our personal connections with the Lord and willingness to follow Him
makes the Family what it is. They’re not worried about holding on to control or
keeping the reins. They realize the structure of the Family is essential to our
continuing to do an effective job, but they are constantly trying to pass down
more responsibility, inspire more initiative, and they certainly encourage
direct communication with the Lord for each of us. I know that from personal
experience.
Mama and Peter are genuine. They don’t
put on airs, and they don’t try to give one impression while in fact hiding
their true motive. When they remind us in WS to be frugal and that we’re living
off the missionaries’ tithes, it’s because they live that way themselves.
Recently they took a few days away from the Home, and they had Rose and I pack
some foods for them, to help cut down on the time they would have to spend on
meal prep. We cooked and prepared and then froze some meal-size portions of
refried beans, tomato sauce (as a base for spaghetti or whatever), lentils,
spinach, etc. When they came home, I was asking them how their food lasted.
They said that it lasted perfectly-except that on the last night they were left
with two bags of tomato sauce (with Italian seasoning), one bag of refried
beans, and one of spinach. So they heated it all up together and made a
“goulash.” Well, from my point of view, that sounded quite unappetizing, but
they said that it was actually quite good. The point is, they don’t like to
waste.
Since they’re sometimes on a different
schedule than the rest of the Home, Rose saves their portion of dinner for them
to eat when they have their dinner time. When it’s time for them to eat,
they’ll ask what’s available, and many times they’ve chosen to eat leftovers
that weren’t their favorite, just because they knew they wouldn’t keep another
day and they didn’t want them to be wasted. It’s a sample that will always
stick with me-that they keep the missionary vision. They could have pretty much
anything they want-they sure work hard enough to deserve it, and they are the
king and queen-but they live very simply. My understanding is that it’s for two
reasons: 1, to live frugally so as to save as much of the Lord’s money as
possible; 2, so that they stay on the same level as our missionaries who are
out each day living by faith, abounding and abasing.
Another tiny example of their frugality
is in the little box of tissues and pieces of paper towel that Mama keeps by
her bed and beside her chair. When she uses one, but it’s not quite used, she
keeps it to use again. When I was first starting to help clean their room, I
used to want to throw them away. But she explained, “Oh no, I’ll keep those and
use them some more. They’re not really used up yet.”
Another example of Mama and Peter’s
sincere love for the Family and the sheep is manifested in their faithfulness
to witness. It doesn’t matter how busy they are, or how tired after a long day
of work and just wanting to relax and take an evening walk-they always witness.
Whenever they go anywhere, a major highlight for them is always the people the
Lord brought across their path to witness to.
One time Mama and Peter were taking
public transport, and there was someone Mama wanted to witness to but she
didn’t have a tract. Her eyes were very sore, but she was so concerned for this
dear man sitting beside them that she got a piece of paper and wrote out a
simple salvation prayer and message, and went and gave it to him. She didn’t
know whether he’d be able to read it in English or not, but she figured he
would probably be interested enough to ask someone to read it for him, and that
he would have an opportunity to get saved. Her eyes were very, very sore after
doing that, but she said it was more than worth it, because she was able to
give that person a witness and opportunity to know Jesus.
Another example of their love is in the way that they’re never too
busy for anyone. Of course, we on the staff try to be respectful of their work
time and their rest times and all. We try not to disturb them unnecessarily.
But there have been times when some of us younger members (I’m sure the first
generation members have stories like this as well), have been really going
through it about something, and would beep them or knock on their door for
prayer, and they’ll stop everything, lay down on the bed with us, hold us and
pray with us and cry with us, or try to cheer us up, as the case may be. And
they would do that for anyone who needs it.
They were recently on a business trip and they gave a brief
witness to a young man who worked at the place they were staying. That young
man came by their room the night before they were leaving and wanted to talk-he
was hungry and receptive and poured out his heart. Even though they were very
tired and they were leaving early the next morning, Peter listened and
witnessed to him for four hours, till midnight. That’s the kind of love they
have. There is no doubt in my mind that we couldn’t have more loving and
personally concerned shepherds.
One other very small point about Mama and
Peter is that they are so appreciative. They’re the king and queen,
after all, and so could come to sort of expect that people would take care of
them, cook for them, type their tapes, or whatever. But they never take those
things for granted. Sometimes it’s almost embarrassing, because you’ll do
something that is so small by comparison, and they express such thankfulness
and tell you how much they appreciate you and couldn’t do without you, etc.
It’s just so sweet.
They start out their tapes that need to
be typed by thanking the typist and whoever will do the work of what is being
dictated, and sometimes will say a prayer for you. When they know something
isn’t your favorite job to do, they take that into consideration and give you
extra appreciation and credit. They always try to thank whoever cooked, or pass
on their appreciation in some way. They start most Home meetings by thanking
everyone for all that they’ve been doing, and specifically thanking the staff
people for the things they’ve done recently.
They’re very appreciative of the staff
people, especially those who don’t also have pubs ministries-as it would be
natural for the hard-working staff to feel that their jobs are not as
important. But they always emphasize that it’s just the opposite-that without
the staff people, we wouldn’t be able to function. Seeing their sample of
genuine appreciation, to me shows that they’re humble and they don’t take
people for granted; they have sincere love and concern for their helpers.-And
it’s constant. It doesn’t wear off after a while, and they’re not sweeter when
they need you to do something for them. They’re just generally thankful and
appreciative of even the littlest things.
I’m sorry about the negative allegations
being spread around about Mama and Peter by someone who used to live with them
long ago. These stories could cause serious doubt in someone’s mind who has
never lived with them or met them personally. But since I’ve lived with them
for these years, I haven’t found anything similar to what they’re being described
as in these twisted accusations. I wish everyone could have the chance to meet
them and live with them. To me, they are an example of what the Lord wants all
of us, His representatives, to be. Because they give so cheerfully and humbly,
I think we don’t often realize how very much they give, and how little they
take. I just pray I can be more like that.
* * *
My Impressions of Mama and Peter
By Carmen, 27, CRO, Brazil
Because
of what seems to be a recent wave of negative “publicity” about Mama and Peter,
I want to relate my personal, firsthand experiences meeting and knowing them.
These are totally contrary to many of the things that have been circulating as
of late regarding their character-some of which come out to be quite ugly
accusations and bear no semblance of truth to me. Quite frankly, such stories
about Mama and Peter don’t hold water, in my opinion, because I know them and
have a totally different point of view.
Lest
anyone be mistaken and think that I’m one of Mama and Peter’s little puppets or
brainwashed little robots, I’d like to set the record straight. I am a Family
member of my own free will. I may be young. I may be inexperienced. I know that
there is so much ahead of me-wisdom to gain, lessons to be learned, experiences
to be had, and life to be lived. In spite of my youth and inexperience, or what
to some may seem just plain naivety, I am also a mother, and before I think of
myself, I think of my children.
I
no longer live a “foot loose and fancy free” life. I have four little ones to
think about, and their future is more important to me than my own. I love my
kids more than anything in this world. They are the Lord’s most precious gift
to me and I will give anything, do anything, be anything to help them along the
road of life and help them reach and fulfill their destiny. I love the Lord, I
want to serve Him, but I realize that I have a responsibility to my children
and that the choices I make affect them and their future. This is constantly
before me and causes me to be desperate with the Lord every day.
It’s
nearly insulting to me that someone would think I can’t make my own choices,
that I don’t have a mind of my own, or that I would let someone(s) impose their
theologies upon me, leading me to do things that go against my principles.
Ridiculous!
Why
is it that only those who leave the Family are thought to have a mind of their
own? Why can’t those of us who choose to be in the Family, who choose to
dedicate our lives to serve the Lord and others be thought of as responsible, objective,
idealistic maybe, but still sincere, and as having free will and a mind of our
own? Obviously, those who left were free to think for themselves, otherwise why
aren’t they still “cooped up” in the Family? They were obviously free to choose
as we are, as I am. It’s absurd to think that my choice to stay in the Family
should reflect some sort of weakness on my part, or that it should indicate
that I have a weak mind that can’t think for itself and is influenced by all
our doctrine. If I am influenced by our doctrine it’s because I choose to be. I
am free to choose what I want to believe. So far my place is in the Family.
Having
said the above, I hope to dispel any mistaken idea that what I have to say
about Mama and Peter or my impression of them is totally colored by “the brain
cloud” that us “poor young victims” aren’t free to think for ourselves. We are
free! I thank God for it! What I feel about Mama and Peter is my opinion.
Others may feel differently, but we’re all entitled to freedom of speech and
belief. Below is my very frank assessment, impression, and experience, having
met Mama and Peter personally.
My
hope is that it will be clear that not everyone that knows them has bad things
to say about them. That those who have been affected by the opinions of
detractors will see that there is a wide range of reactions, opinions,
feelings, thoughts, and positions concerning Mama and Peter’s character, and it
would be simply unwise to make decisions for or against them based on one
negative letter or report. We all know the way of rumors. We’ve all had gossip
get back to us about ourselves, and it’s usually pretty distorted truth. Sad.
We’ve all been hurt by that and wished so hard that we could explain things as
they were from our point of view and somehow undo the damage caused by such
ugly stories being spread about us. To believe or accept any one person’s story
without weighing everything in the balance and getting a well-rounded picture
would be, in my opinion, unintelligent.
OK,
enough of that. (Sorry, I just can’t help but feel slightly offended by those
who pity me or feel I can’t stand on my own two feet just because I happen to
like the Family, and have had good experiences with Mama and Peter.)
*
The
first time I met Peter, I have to confess that I was surprised at just how
normal he was. I expected more of a “king.” Not that he isn’t one in his
special way, but when I thought of “king,” I thought of strong, overbearing,
pompous, maybe even arrogant, domineering, or bossy. It sounds kind of silly
putting it on paper like this. Peter was totally opposite to the picture of
“king” that I had in my mind before I met him. I know now, not only from our
first meeting, but from getting to know him more personally, that he’s anything
but arrogant, domineering or bossy. He’s a totally normal guy! He’s tons of
fun! He’s really very sweet and makes you feel like you’re important
(definitely a must for anyone who wants to be truly great)! And I’ll tell you
what the best part about him is-he’s sincere. I have felt that Peter truly
admires and loves each Family member. His heart is broken for those of us who
struggle with any burden or worry. His driving passion is to reach the world
with the Gospel and to help Family members in any way possible to achieve that
goal.
Once
when Peter was visiting the Family in our area, Mama kept trying to make sure
that he would get the rest he needed. Meeting so many people all at once is
overwhelming for anyone, and I’m sure even as Jesus experienced, it can be
tiring to pour out so much love or “virtue” all at once. So Mama was concerned
that Peter pace himself and not overdo, especially because of his weakened
heart. I was totally touched to see Peter’s reaction in which he almost argued
with Mama that he couldn’t help but want to meet each and every Family member
he could. He went on and on about how each one is so sweet, so precious, how
each one was so unique and special and he didn’t want to miss the privilege of
meeting them himself. These are the people that he lays down his life for, the
ones he spends every moment trying to help, support, encourage, be of
assistance to, etc. That really stuck with me, and it’s been reinforced every
time I see him.
As
far as Mama and Peter being open to ideas, my experience is that they are very
open to change, to new ideas, to wanting to constantly improve and make things
better for us. Peter is also open to all of the above in regards to our
opinions about WS. I’m not saying that he loves to hear complaints, or that he
enjoys hearing things that we feel should be changed. I’m sure he’s sensitive
about certain things (remember I said he was a normal guy?), but he’s not
afraid to hear about it, he’s not afraid to face those things and do his part
to make things better. I take my hat off to anyone who can do that, wouldn’t
you? I often wish I could accept “constructive criticism” more graciously, and
I have to say that Peter is a sample of not only accepting it, but even
encouraging us to feel free to give it.
I’m
happy with how what I express to Mama or Peter actually means something to
them. I’m sure I’ve written them a lot of stupid things and that I’ve made some
pretty off-the-wall comments, but I’ve never felt that they thought that about
what I’ve written or said. In fact, I’ve been surprised at how they respond to
things that I bring up to them. I’ve had questions about things written in the
GNs, about certain ways of presenting things, etc., and you know what-something
was done about it! I was almost scared, like, “Whoa! I’d better make sure I’m
really saying what I mean to say!” I know for a fact that all of my comments
are brought before the Lord, and Mama and Peter do pray about it, but it’s
really neat to feel like you can make a difference in your “government,” that
your voice is heard and heeded. That means a lot to me. I also know that there
are many other young people, in fact I think we all have that same
freedom to speak up about things, and we also can have confidence that Mama and
Peter take our opinions seriously and consider them important.
Mama
and Peter feel that Family young people are important. Our happiness is a
priority to them. I’m impressed with the importance that they place on what we
need and what we have to say. Some probably think, “Yeah! Of course they do! It
makes’m look bad that we all want to leave!”
Clarifications:
1. We don’t all want to leave! There are
many young people in the Family who are perfectly happy! H-A-P-P-Y! Very, very
happy! We’re fulfilled; we’re inspired; we have so much to look forward to and
be excited about! We see the Lord moving and working! We see the effect we’re
having on the world through each little life we help to change, through each
heart that we bring Jesus to! It’s not that we don’t have rough times. But from
very dear personal friends who have left the Family, I’ve learned that anywhere
you go you will face struggles and hardships. That’s a good reason for me not
to trade what makes me feel so happy and fulfilled, and helps others find
lasting happiness, for a different set of difficulties, along with lonely
emptiness.
2. Mama and Peter aren’t all that
concerned with “looking good” themselves. What they want is for us to feel that
we look good! They want us to feel proud of what we choose to be, and if there
is anything that they can change within the Family, if there is any improvement
they can make for us so that we’ll be happier, then that’s what they consider
important. Our happiness as the younger generation is important to them. Not so
they can “keep us,” but so that the destiny of the Family can be carried out as
the Lord intended. Obviously the Lord intended that there be a second and now
even third generation within the Family, as otherwise He could have come 20
years ago before we were born. He didn’t, so obviously we’re supposed to be
here and we’re part of His plan. Mama and Peter realize that we are an
important, in fact, a major part of the Lord’s plan for the Family. Their
desperation to change things for us and improve the Family for us reflects
their fear of the Lord in wanting to make sure that the Family carries out what
the Lord intended it to and that we don’t miss the mark as far as what we’re
meant to be. I think such open-mindedness, fear of the Lord, sincere concern
and action certainly calls for respect and admiration. This desire and concern
on their part for my happiness, well-being and fulfillment wins my respect for
them. It’s more than I can say for other societies who don’t seem to give a
damn about their youth. (At least that’s how their youth feel!)
I
think it’s so cool to be part of something different from the norm, even if it
is a little odd! Like going down in history as being part of some really
far-out rock group or some famous expedition or discovery, or something neat
like that. Only the best part is that we’re not “going down” in history, we are
MAKING HISTORY! Even if nothing ever happened (unrealistic proposal as the
Family has already “made news” in history and changed millions of lives
forever), it’s still more exciting and more of a thrill to live your life with
purpose, believing in something, rather than living the daily monotony without
any goal or purpose. To me that’s not really a life!
*
It’s
funny to me to think back before I met Mama and Peter. I had this feeling like,
“When I meet them I’m going to have to be on my very best spiritual behavior.
I’d better make sure that my sword is sharpened, my prophecy skills are honed
and that I’m … (long list of things to make sure I would do when with them).
The strangest thing happened. As soon as I met Mama I had this overwhelming
feeling that all of that (all the stuff I was hoping really hard I’d be able to
do to make a good impression) didn’t matter to her!
Now
let me explain that. Of course Mama believes in all of the above and believes
that it’s the best thing for me too, but it was an amazing revelation to see
that my sword being sharp is between the Lord and me. My practicing the gift of
prophecy is between the Lord and me. My using the new weapons is between the
Lord and me. The last thing I felt was that she was watching to see how I was
doing. (Maybe she was and I just don’t know it, ha! But in that case, she
wasn’t too hard on me ’cause I still am not “skilled” in the spiritual weapons
and she didn’t mention anything about it.) I didn’t feel any pressure to
perform. I didn’t feel “out of it” or really “unspiritual” or like she was
constantly harping on those issues.
If
I could put one thing across to you, it’s this: What Mama writes and publishes
in the GNs, she does with the most sincere intentions of following the Lord,
believing what He says, believing that it will make your life better in some
way. It was so amazing to feel how strongly it all came back to “It’s between
me and You, Jesus!” I don’t think it mattered all that much to Mama how much I
did or didn’t prophesy, as long as I was trying to move ahead at my pace, for
my own sake, so that through my following the tips the Lord gave I could
receive His many rich and full blessings.
On
our first little meeting with Mama and Peter, we talked about a variety of
subjects, and changed the subject several times before Mama perked up with,
“Oh! Maybe we should acknowledge the Lord before we change to our next subject.
You poor guys! How can we expect you to make this a habit if we’re not going to
be a sample of it ourselves! I forgot! I’m sorry! Jesus, precious Love, thank
You for Your patience with us….” I was shocked at how very sincere Mama is. She
was “working on” the same things I was trying to do and improve in my walk with
the Lord.
What
she puts in the GNs is what the Lord gives and what she is striving to live. If
I could describe Mama in one word (which is impossible), I’d say she’s genuine!
She’s genuinely loving. She’s genuinely sincere in her love for the Lord and
wanting to please Him. She’s genuine in her praise or compliments. She’s
genuine in her correction. She’s not trying to make any sort of impression or
trying to have any sort of front. She’s totally free to be herself, and she
makes you free to feel the same. She made me feel like I didn’t have to “be on
my best behavior,” almost as if she didn’t even care, because she trusts that I
love the Lord and that was most important. She made me feel that I could be the
way I am. In fact, she made me feel encouraged! I didn’t feel like I had to
watch my words and measure everything just right. I didn’t feel strange at all.
She’s been like that every time I’ve seen her. She’s natural and makes me feel
natural too. There’s no big pressure in any way.
It’s
not like Mama and Peter expect this incredible amount of respect. I respect
them as I respect others, like Juan, or my parents, and many others that have
lived the life of faith. I just can’t picture them being the way some people
make them out to be. They just aren’t like that. They are loving-very loving in
the way of being considerate, concerned, affectionate, thoughtful, etc.
One
night I was having a conversation with someone and Mama was in the next room.
She came through the room we were sitting in on her way to a meeting. She heard
that I wasn’t feeling well (being 3 months PG), so she took several minutes to
get me tissue, water, pillows, put on some music, get me a bucket (in case I
got sick again), etc., etc. It was so cute! I kept telling her that I was fine
and trying to thank her, but she kept doing all these little things like they
were the most natural thing for her and she wouldn’t think of walking by
without making sure I had everything that I needed. That really touched me,
mainly because, as I said before, she’s so genuine. She had nothing to gain
from me for doing that. She wasn’t trying to impress me either, because she’s
like that with everyone. She’s just loving and concerned about others and that
comes natural to her. Insincerity is so easily recognized, and I have yet to
see any of that in either Mama or Peter.
Okay,
let’s say that Mama and Peter did just put on a show for me. How then
should I explain all those who live in their Home who are remarkably concerned,
loving, kind, considerate, and thoughtful too? I can only guess that they have
learned to be that way from Mama and Peter’s treatment of them and their
day-to-day sample and interaction with them, which I saw throughout the whole
time I was there. The people I met there are so sweet! They are so normal too,
and they know how to have fun-and I mean a real good time! They work hard, pray
like everything depended on it (mostly for requests from the Family on the
field), treat each other so sweetly and respectfully, show appreciation. They
are neither lofty (all those important secretaries and pubs people getting
their hands dirty scrubbing pots and pans, mopping floors, etc.) nor are they
condescending in any way. I felt like they were so happy to have us there and
sad when we left. They’re all such humble people and they show it through
loving behavior, even amongst themselves. So either everyone put on a long show
for us (sounds pretty corny!) or that’s the way they are. If WS is “weird,”
well I wouldn’t mind having a little more of that “weirdness” in my life and
Home.
I
didn’t see anything weird, and believe me, I was looking! I think we all
secretly wonder what it’s “really like” in WS. Well, from what I’ve seen, I can
only say I admire people who are willing to work that hard to put out so much
for the Family. I felt small compared to them, because I get the blessing of
being out here where I can see the fruit of what they labor for day and night.
I get to save souls, witness freely in the name of the Family, see the teens
all flip out over the pubs. I see the GNs that bring timely counsel to needy
situations and encouragement that helps save someone’s service for the Lord.
It’s a reward to see so much fruit and it greatly strengthens my faith.
These
people are so sweet, they plug along day after day doing whatever it is they do
to help get out the pubs, and they’re so cheerful about it. Each person is a
unique (very unique) individual with personality traits, little quirks,
peculiarities, strengths, talents and gifts, which makes each one special. Some
are serious, some are funny, some are hilarious, but all are precious, loving,
and kind. And I also noticed that they were happy to be where they are. Come to
think of it, there are several people that I knew and lived with prior to their
joining WS, and they are still the dear, sweet people I’ve always known. They
didn’t get weird, nor were beaten into submission or “yieldedness” out of fear
of Mama and Peter. From what I noticed, they all have a very friendly and sweet
relationship with the Folks. I would have been concerned for my friends if I
would have seen them carry a broken spirit or dying inside from coercion or
fear. I also know that my friends are there of their own free will.
I
can’t even believe that someone would buy the line that people in WS are
bullied into submission, held against their will through fear, or have to
“buckle under or else.” It’s absurd. There are a lot of young people in WS. If
WS has discovered a secret weapon of how to get so many diverse and
strong-willed young people to comply with “rules” and do things against their
will-let’s just say that there are millions who couldn’t pay a sum large enough
for such a secret or key to help them get their kids or youth to submit,
comply, conform, abide by, and obey someone or something they didn’t want to!
No, there is no such secret weapon, because those who are in WS want to be
there. They must be happy and feel fulfilled! Why not? I thought it was a
pretty cool place myself, mostly because of the great people that are there and
the Lord’s loving Spirit which they carry.
During
a time I spent alone with Mama, I was so thankful and relieved to be able to
unburden my heart about the difficulties I had experienced over the last
several years. Besides some very personal trials, I expressed how tough it had
been for me having a very demanding ministry, moving around constantly, not
having a “home,” and being pregnant or nursing all the time. I was having a
hard time finding the balance between being a mother and keeping up with my
ministry and work. (I’m sure every mom faces this every time a new little one
comes along.)
I
was expressing that I was afraid to keep having so many kids so close together,
that I wouldn’t be able to train them properly, etc. In the back of my mind I
was sort of expecting Mama to give me a good faith-building speech about
“trusting the Lord” and continuing to “Go for the Gold.” Mama was very
understanding and sympathetic while taking in the big picture of what I was
going through. One thing she said really surprised me though, specifically
about the “having lots of kids” issue. She didn’t give me a big speech about
anything. She didn’t for one moment make me feel condemned about anything. She
didn’t really even say all that much other than to encourage me that she
understood the magnitude of the responsibility I felt. In fact, she even burst
into tears at one point, which I felt bad about, but which seemed to wash away
my hurt somehow. She prayed and asked the Lord for His strength for me, for His
grace, and she committed all my cares to the Lord.
Afterwards
in casual conversation she said, “You know, you can ask the Lord for some time
before your next baby. You can tell Him how you feel and what you have the
faith for and ask Him for a longer stretch between pregnancies.” That totally
surprised me. I’m not saying that Mama is advocating “prayer against
pregnancy,” but the point here was that no matter what the “prophecy” said,
Mama was telling me that I had to have the faith for what I do. That’s what it
all boiled down to once again; this was between the Lord and me. She didn’t
start trying to bully me into doing the “right thing” according to prophecy and
push me to have faith for something.
I
felt totally in control of my decisions and will at that moment. I had all the
power of majesty of choice and in no way was Mama trying to push me one way or
the other. She simply offered a way that I could come to grips with my faith
and make sound decisions accordingly. Her whole sample and way of being is like
that. I’ve never once felt from her that she used prophecy to make me do
something I didn’t want to, or even do anything at all. I don’t know how things
can get so twisted to where someone could say that the folks use prophecy to
force people to do things. She has encouraged me to ask the Lord about
questions that I have or about things that I wanted to do, etc. I think that’s
a good thing, because every time I’ve been so thankful for what I received from
the Lord.
One
thing I’ve learned is that no matter who gets a prophecy for me, I have all the
freedom I want and need to hear from the Lord myself and make sure that that’s
what He’s telling me before I make any decision. I not only have that freedom,
but actually that responsibility. When it comes to the big and important
things, it’s crazy to go ahead and do or not do something without hearing from
the Lord about it yourself first, or only going on a prophecy someone else gets
for you.
To
me, the whole point of prophecy is for my benefit. It’s so that I can have
something from the Lord to lead me the way He wants me to go, and then have
something to refer to for strength when things get tough or my faith falters.
God forbid that I should have to look back on a decision I made, whether or not
it was based on prophecy and have to come to the realization that I didn’t seek
God myself and went blindly by what someone else got from the Lord for me
without having the faith for it. I’m happy and thankful for those who hear from
the Lord for me. It’s strengthening, but I can’t “blame” them, or prophecy, or
Mama and Peter who emphasize prophecy, for things that go wrong. That’s getting
a little too childish.
It’s
not like I don’t have questions about prophecy, even doubts sometimes. It’s not
like every prophecy that is pubbed is oh so totally easy for me to accept. I
tend to wonder who the channel is, what they knew about the subject beforehand,
how they got those specific details, and sometimes I just plain have a hard
time accepting things. But just as I have to honestly face the fact that I
question and doubt prophecy at times, I have to be just as honest with myself
that what I have tried has proven to work for me! It’s like Dad’s old Letter
about electricity. I may not understand it or know all there is to know about
it, but I’m sure as Heaven glad that I can use it, because it works.
That’s what I’ve found out about the new weapons and prophecy.
They work for me! They make my life soooo much easier. I don’t understand it, I
don’t know how that is, but it’s a fact. IT WORKS! So that gives me faith that
no matter what may seem “far out” to me, all I have to do is give it a try! If
it works, great! I haven’t lost anything; in fact, I’ve gained. But what if I
don’t try and miss out on the benefits? Then I’ve lost something. It’s not like
I’m a super spiritually minded person and love only the purely spiritual. It
doesn’t come so totally natural to me to accept and believe everything I read
in the Word. I like to prove it first! Maybe that’s not so good and I should be
willing to accept it all totally by faith. But even the Lord has said that we
can “prove” Him. The times I have, He hasn’t failed. In fact, it’s only made me
more convinced that we indeed have a priceless treasure that the whole world
can benefit from, and will someday. “Oh taste [or try] and see that the Lord is
good! Blessed is the man that trusteth in Him.”
Though
it took getting used to the amount of prophecy that we have and use
nowadays, it shouldn’t really be a surprise to us that the Lord is leading this
way. I was pondering the verse, “It shall come to pass in the Last Days, saith
God, I will pour out of My Spirit upon all flesh.” That got me thinking.
Pouring out His Spirit upon all flesh-that’s a lot of Spirit being
poured out! “Your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your young men shall
see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams.” Why am I surprised at the
sudden increase in “Spirit,” “prophecy,” “dreams and visions”? It’s one more
sign that we’re living in the Last Days. Of course, if you refuse to face that
fact, then I can see why it might be hard to accept that the Lord is pouring
out His Spirit in such great measure, but it doesn’t change the fact that He
is.
I
can’t say whether all the accusations brought against Mama and Peter are true
or false. I can only tell you what I have experienced. I can tell you that my
whole life in the Family has been a wonderful experience. I have parents who
love the Lord dearly and have served Him since before I was born. They have
proven over and over to me that the life of faith is a life of joy, blessings,
and fulfillment. They have never lost by giving to others, or giving of
themselves to the Lord. They have been through the good and the bad in the
Family and they are thankful for the Words of life. I’ve come to treasure the
heritage of faith that they’ve given me, which they received from Dad.
I’ve
come to realize the Word we have in the Family is where it’s at for me. It
gives me peace and faith. It gives me answers to the questions I have. It opens
up doors to other realms that help me see things in a clear and positive light.
It feeds my spirit and satisfies my hunger, quenches my thirst. I’ve met so
many who search for that and haven’t found it anywhere else. If I have found
what satisfies me, then I don’t need to “search.” I want the Word-it’s the “joy
and rejoicing of my heart.” I’ve found what I’m looking for, the lamp that
lights my path.
One
reason that I accept our doctrines is that they are all based on Scripture. The
Family was born and continues to live, based on the Bible. That’s the Word for
me, and as long as we can stand on Scripture, we’re building our work on safe
and solid ground.
I
also love that verse, “If this counsel [or doctrine] or this work be of
men, it will come to naught. [You might as well not waste your time and effort
trying to “ruin” us.] But if it be of God, no man can stand against it, lest
haply ye be found to fight against God.” So to those who don’t like Mama and
Peter, don’t worry. If this work isn’t really God’s work, it’ll fade out, and
we’ll all see we were wrong. I’ll gladly eat humble pie if that day ever comes.
In the meantime, I know I’m not hurting anyone and I’m helping to make the
world a better place. I’m thankful for how Mama and Peter have helped me
personally, as well as how they strive continually to help the Family reach
more lost, spread more Gospel, and be closer to Jesus.
Mama
and Peter, keep up the good work! I’ve seen God’s anointing of love, meekness,
and conviction in you. I’ve seen your broken heart for lost souls. I’ve seen
your concern and interest in each precious Family member. I’ve seen your
desperation with the Lord, your humility in confessing you don’t know what to do
and you’re just following Jesus. I’ve experienced your sample of depending on
the Lord, and you’re leading us to do the same. I’ve seen you broken and weak
and felt the Lord in you strongly. I feel thankful, privileged, and happy to
serve the Lord with you and alongside you. I pray that I’ll be faithful to this
calling, which I’m certain is God’s will and His call for my life, all the days
of my life.
I
don’t know if everything that people say about you is true or not. I don’t know
if the “stories” about WS are true or not. What I do know is that it’s not true
of you today, it’s not true of WS today, and that’s what’s important. I’m sure
we all have our share of mistakes, embarrassing moments, etc., that we’ve
learned from. Wouldn’t it be great if we could put our past through Microsoft
Word so that we could rearrange things, cut, delete, copy, paste, align, etc.
There’s not a person in the world who wouldn’t do things differently if they
could do them over. But the important thing is what we are today, what we’re
striving for today, what we’re making of ourselves and others today.
I
think the Family has a wonderful today and an even more glorious tomorrow to
look forward too. And even our past and our yesterday have served us well.
We’ve dealt with things a lot more objectively then many governments deal with
their past or problems. I’m proud of our nation because it’s made up of
individuals who love the Lord more than anything else and are doing their best
to spread the light and love of God’s truth to a spiritually starving and
love-famished world, in spite of the fact that we’re all imperfect human
beings.
That
reminds me! One day I went for a walk with Mama and she went through a good
deal of “trouble” to make sure that we had sufficient tracts with us on our
get-out walk. And she was faithful to get them out too. I love that about her!
She believes what she preaches and lives it too.
* * *
A Heart of Compassion
By Ivy, Mama’s Home
My name is Ivy. I’m an FGA, and I’ve
lived and worked with Mama and Peter for the past seven years. I haven’t always
lived in the same house as them, but for the most part, I have. During the last
four years I’ve had the privilege of working closely with Mama as one of her
personal secretaries.
Because
of the nature of my ministry, I’ve had to be privy to confidential Family
matters having to do with people’s lives, leadership, problems in the Family,
etc. I know it’s a serious responsibility and I take it very seriously. At
times I’ve been privy to the counsel that Mama and Peter give our leadership
about problem situations, or the prayers they pray concerning our Family and
its missionaries on the field and our leaders. Basically, you could say that
I’ve often been “in the know” about Mama and Peter’s feelings and reactions to
situations and people, their prayers and the counsel they’ve offered.
If
there’s one thing that has never failed to impress me about Mama and Peter,
it’s that they’re not critical, they’re not self-righteous, and they’re not
quick to judge or condemn people. When I first became Mama’s secretary and knew
about a certain problem situation, my inner reaction at the time was a little
along the lines of, “Wow, those guys are kind of out of it.” I don’t remember
the exact situation or people involved, but I do remember my attitude was more
or less that Mama would probably say something corrective about their attitude,
or that her words would be something along the lines of, “Boy, our Family
people!” That may be what I would have thought or said, but not Mama!
Instead,
Mama never stopped talking about how much the Lord loved them. No matter what
battles and obstacles they were facing, no matter what problems they were
having, the first thing she had to say about the situation was how much Jesus
loved them. I can honestly say that in my four years of being one of Mama’s
secretaries, I’ve never heard her belittle or berate people, look down on them,
criticize people, or act like she was upset with people. Well, one time I
remember she was a little “heated” in the way she talked about a situation that
she had to explain to me, but then afterward she apologized for presenting it
that way.
I
don’t know about you, but I’ve been working almost my entire Family life of 25
years on being more loving, patient, understanding, merciful, and all those
wonderful qualities that we all want, and that I see in Mama and Peter. I
haven’t worked under another shepherd that comes anywhere near Mama’s love for
people. She has a real gift of God’s love and faith in people. When I first
came to Mama’s staff I worked in the kitchen for several years, but one day
they needed another secretary and Mama had the faith that I could do it. I
think everyone was surprised that I could do it, especially me!
I
understand that when some people leave the Family and the Lord’s full time
service, they battle bitterness, and for some people extreme bitterness, but
all I can say to our detractors who would like to paint a picture of Mama or
Peter as terrible tyrants who are in it for their own gain, is that they’re
wrong. I personally believe that our bitter detractors, like James Penn, are
just living proof that these are the Last Days and the love of many is waxing
cold, and some are being given over to strong delusion.
I’ve
transcribed hundreds of personal tapes from Mama involving either her work on
the Lord’s Words, her counsel to Family people, her counsel to her personal
staff and WS shepherds, her prayers and heart cry to the Lord, and I can assure
everyone that Mama has a heart of love and she’s in it for the Lord.
One
other situation that comes to mind was concerning the possibility of inviting a
woman to join our Home, but because Mama knew this woman was in love with a man
in another WS unit, she was very considerate that the woman not feel obligated
or pressured to do something that she wouldn’t be happy with or have the faith
for. Mama made it clear that it was completely up to the woman, that she [Mama]
didn’t want her to join our Home if she [the woman] felt it would be too
difficult for her to be separated from the man she loved. In this particular
case, the woman chose not to join Mama’s Home at that time. This is just one of
many, many examples that have impressed me over the years, where Mama and Peter
have been genuinely concerned about people’s feelings.
We
might tend to think that people should just endure hardness as a soldier and
“just do it for the work’s sake,” and sometimes that might need to be the case,
but I’ve seen Mama sacrifice the work in favor of people’s feelings and
happiness. They really are considerate of people’s feelings and needs and will
do their best to accommodate people, even to the sacrifice of the work.
I’m
proud to be in the Family. I’m proud of the things we stand for and that I’ve
had the privilege of serving the Lord in the Family for the past 25 years.
There isn’t anything about our standard or beliefs that I think is “weird” or
that I don’t agree with or want to try to live. I’ve had lots of battles and
trials, and some very intense ones over the past year, but I know without a
shadow of a doubt what the Lord’s calling is for me-to serve Him full time in
the Family.
I
plan to stay in the Family. I don’t have a problem with people who feel called
to do something else, but I don’t think it’s right for former members to
slander the Family or Mama and Peter. I think they need some serious help to
get rid of their bitterness. Our detractors probably won’t believe this, but
I’d like to put it here for the record anyway-I’ve never heard Mama and Peter
speak badly of you. They actually pray for you.
For
some reason, some of our detractors seem to think we’re forced to be in WS, but
I’ve personally never felt forced to remain in WS or in Mama’s Home. When the
GPU was opening up a few years ago, Mama asked me to pray and see if the Lord
wanted me to join their team because she knew they would need more staff and
helpers. She said she didn’t really want me to go and she was hoping the Lord
would want me to stay in her Home and continue my ministry, but that she wanted
me to be open to the Lord’s will. She told me she wanted to be open to the Lord
and whatever He wanted, even though she’d prefer me to stay. I’ve seen her have
this same attitude over and over of wanting to be open to the Lord’s will, in
spite of what she preferred. She really does want what the Lord wants.
When
she explains something to me that she wants me to hear from the Lord about,
she’ll often remind me with something like, “Now, Ivy, you need to be sure
you’re open to the Lord, and even though I’ve explained my thoughts, maybe the
Lord wants something different. So really pray to be open to whatever He wants.
We just want to know His mind and be open to the way He wants it done.”
I
can testify to what Dad taught us about people-by their fruits you shall know
them-and in my seven years of living and working with the folks, I’ve never
seen the type of things our detractors accuse them of. They really are like the
Letters portray them and I have no doubt that if you were to visit Mama’s Home,
that’s the way you’d find them too.
They’re
here to serve you, the Family, and that’s what they do day and night, with a
lot of love and prayer and faith in us all. I’ve never met people in my entire
life as honest, sincere and dedicated as Mama and Peter.
* * *
Meeting
Mama!
By Naomi, 23, CRO, EURCRO
The very first time I had the opportunity
to meet Mama, I was very happy and excited, yet I was a bit nervous at the same
time. (Editor’s note: Mama and Peter had to make a business trip, and during
the course of their trip, stopped for a brief visit at the CRO office.) Just
a few days before, I had written her and Peter a letter expressing some of my
battles and trials regarding my job as a CRO. I was battling a lot at the time,
and I expressed to them that I’d been tempted to step down from my
responsibilities, and shared my battles and trials with them. Although I had
decided before writing them that I would not step down from my responsibilities
and would carry on as long as the Lord wanted me to be a CRO, still, I felt bad
for having felt that way, and I felt a bit condemned about all that I shared
with them in the letter.
So when I met Mama, I was a bit nervous,
wondering what she thought in light of the battles I had shared in my letter.
The first thing she did when she saw me was just give me a big hug, and was so
sweet and friendly. She put me at ease right away. She didn’t mention anything
about my letter, but just lovingly hugged me and encouraged me.
Later we sat down together and she
thanked me for sharing the things I did, and she prayed for me. She didn’t make
a big deal out of it, or make me feel uncomfortable in any way, but she prayed
a beautiful prayer, and was such a strength and encouragement.
I’ve heard some folks say that Mama and
Peter don’t treat people very well, especially those who are not totally loyal
and “on board.” Well, I’d have to say that at that time, it could have easily
seemed to Mama and Peter that I wasn’t very “loyal” or “on board” in having
these types of battles and wondering about my place of service, etc. But she
treated me with such love and care, and I knew that she would love me no matter
what I did-even if I were to step down from my responsibilities, or even leave
the Family. I knew that she loved me and cared for me as a person.
In having met Mama personally, I can
personally testify what a loving person she is. She is not some high and mighty
queen that everyone has to bow down to. She carries herself just like anyone
else. She interacted sweetly with my children and spent time talking with them
and listening to them. She sat at the dinner table and ate the same food we
ate. There was nothing she did that made me feel she was “above” me or that I
needed to tip-toe around her. She is very down to earth and very normal.
It saddens me to hear the things some of
our detractors say about our dear queen-saying that she is a manipulative
control freak, that she only cares about herself, that she pushes her own way,
etc. I’m sure our dear Family members would agree with me if they had the
chance to meet dear Mama in person that she is so loving, so sweet and humble,
and you can feel her love through the things she says, through the prayers she
prays, through everything she does.
I was so touched to see her sample of
praying about and for everything. In the course of our conversation, we talked
about different situations and different people, and she would just stop and
pray for each person and situation as we talked. At one point, Mama and I were
talking about my 3rd pregnancy, and she was asking me some questions
about it, when she remembered that someone in one of the WS units had gone into
labor earlier that day. She stopped right there and prayed a simple prayer for
the woman in labor, and then we carried on with our conversation. She must have
prayed for different people and situations about five or six times during the
45 minutes I spent talking with her. It is just a way of life for her, the way
she operates, and it touched me to see how concerned she was about others, and
praying for people and situations constantly. The love she has for people oozed
right out, and it was very clear that she was not thinking about herself at
all, but was always concerned about others.
I just wish it was possible for all of
our precious Family members to have a chance to meet Mama, and any questions or
doubts they may have will be gone in an instant when they see her smile, her
loving and warm personality, her deep and sincere love for the Lord, her
humility and desperation to stay on the right track to lead our Family. She is
a queen to be proud of, and I’m so thankful for such a loving and concerned
queen and shepherdess! No matter what others may say about her, I know from my
personal experience in meeting her that she is very close to the Lord, very
much in tune with the Family and its needs, full of love, care, and
understanding for each person in the Family, and a beautiful sample of the
Lord’s love, and no one can convince me otherwise!
* * *
I've lived in WS all of my life, and almost all of
that time with Mom and Peter. So I know what it's like around here, and what it
used to be like. Of course it's changed a lot, just as the Family's changed a
lot from what it used to be. And thank God it has! There were times for
everything, and mistakes were made, I'm sure, but I do know that Mom and Peter
are in touch with the Lord. They're desperate to know the answers and do the
right thing, and as a result, the Family has progressed and grown and is
getting better and better all the time.
What I'm trying to say is, James hasn't lived with
Mom and Peter for a long time, so I don't think he has any right to bill
himself as some sort of expert on what they're like and what WS is like now. WS
as a whole used to have a lot more little rules and regulations that we had to
adhere to. I moved from Mom's Home into the unit where James was living when I
was 16. He says she's a control freak, but in that unit that I moved to, he was
in charge of security, and he was one of the most hard-line, heavy-duty rule
fanatics I can think of! He would come up with all manner of extreme,
unnecessary rules, and then become paranoid if people didn't follow them
exactly. Talk about a control freak! But things are different now. It's like
the day of choices; people are free to choose of their own accord if they want
to be here, and as long as we're trying to make progress and to go forward with
the Lord and in the direction He's leading, there's a lot of patience for
people to progress at their own rate, to get in touch with the Lord themselves
and let Him shepherd us.
That's what I think is funny about saying that she
controls people through prophecy. Because most of the emphasis is put on
personal use of prophecy and hearing from the Lord-to go to the Lord ourselves
and get His direction personally. We have to work it out with the Lord and our
faith. If she was so into trying to make the Family do what she wants through
printing prophecies in the GNs, I'm sure she wouldn't be encouraging us all to
get our own.
I haven't been what you would call a spiritual role
model. I question things. I have my doubts. I'm not the first to jump into new
things with both feet. It usually takes me a while to come around. At times I
push the edge of the envelope, trying to get away with whatever I feel like.
But I've never felt unloved or like they would give up on me. They know that
I'm in the Family because I believe the Lord wants me here and I want to do the
right thing.
Mom and Peter are the only ones I can think of that
I'd want to be running our Family. I've been around them enough to know how
much they love each one of us, and how our problems become their problems;
they're happy when we're happy; they're sad when we're sad. Their whole lives
are lived in service to the Lord and all of us.
* * *
They
Do Really Care!
--The
truth about living with Dad, Mama and Peter
By
Rose, Mama's Home
My reaction when I hear these terrible accusations
against Dad, Mama and Peter is that it makes me mad, sad and definitely not
glad! The parts I've read have really made me upset, as they are for sure not
true. Everything that is quoted to be the life of living with Dad, Mama and
Peter is just the opposite! There just isn't any comparison! I thought I'd tell
you a little of how it really is to live with them.
I came to live as a fulltime staff member with Dad,
Mama and Peter in 1991, about 3 ½ years before Dad went to be with the Lord.
(The first time I lived with them was in 1987 for seven months.) At this time,
since Dad was getting older and needed more help, I was gradually with him
fulltime and was his nurse and helper until the moment the Lord took him Home.
During the time I've lived on the staff I have gotten to know Dad, Mama and
Peter quite well and been with them on a daily basis. I've been with them and
around them and have been partaking of their daily lives plenty over the months
and years. Because I go in and out of their room often, I'm often privy to the
things they talk about or the private conversations they're having. In the
course of helping and serving them, I have naturally been around at different
times when they have talked to people or about situations and personal matters,
or made comments about people, and there is nothing that has stumbled me or
come across as unloving or harsh. I can truly say and testify that they are the
most wonderful and loving people I've ever known! They make you feel so
appreciated and needed. To say that they belittle and abuse people is something
that I certainly don't understand, as nothing is farther from the truth!
I'll start off with going back to the days living
with Dad and give you a few examples. I have very specific memories of Dad and
his unending thoughtfulness and unselfish care.
I remember clearly how he always used to pray for me
at the end of the day and tell me how thankful he was for me. He would always ask me if there was anything
that I needed. Here he was, often very sick and weak, couldn't eat much and not
feeling well, and he would ask me how I was doing, if I lacked anything. Such a
sample of the Lord's love of thinking of others instead of himself. I often
cried in thankfulness, being touched by feeling the Lord's love and concern
through Dad.
For example, there were times when he was very ill
and sick, and he would get out of bed because he wanted to share the Lord's
love and messages with us in a meeting. He then would ask us all how we felt,
if any of us were sick or weak or in need of prayer. He checked if we were
comfortable during the meetings, not too hot or cold. If anyone felt tired, he
suggested they go and rest. It was like watching a miracle, as the Lord would
anoint him so for the meeting and give him such supernatural strength and
stamina which just wasn't there in the beginning. You knew it was the Lord's
power and blessing through Dad thinking on the Lord and others above his own
self. So to say that Dad was selfish, I just cannot understand at all.
Dad was always very concerned about each and every
one of us on the staff. He would not rest until he knew that we were all okay,
and would go way out of his way to make sure that everyone was happy and
fulfilled. If there were any problem situations that needed help, he would
counsel and do all he could to help.
Not only was Dad concerned about us all, but he also
had a tremendous love and care for each and every one he came in contact with
when out. He showed appreciation and love to all, from beggars and waiters and
waitresses, to dentists and doctors-yes, to everyone. He was a faithful
witnesser, always lifting up the Lord! He would point his finger up to Heaven
and always make it clear that it's all glory to God and nothing in himself.
Over and over he would emphasize that it was all the Lord. He didn't like it
when people tried to give him the glory. People would feel the Lord's Spirit
and would be drawn to him in admiration for the sample of the Lord's love that
he showed. He was sure a testimony in everything that he did and said. He
taught us when we were out to really care about the ones we came in contact
with and be good testimonies to others.
Dad carried the Lord's message to us all, whether in
the Family or out in the System, and even preached the Gospel to the animals
and cared for them. He cared about any animal he encountered, and it was a
great sample to me how he respected all living things and had a heart for everyone.
I must say that Dad was one of the most unselfish
people I know! (The other two I'm thinking of are Mama and Peter.) He would
give the clothes off his back and food off his plate to anyone who needed it.
He never wasted anything, and that was really one of his strong points, to
give! There just isn't any way you could call him selfish or inconsiderate. So
many times it would make you so convicted to see his sample, and it sure made
me pray to be more like him, which is of course what being more like Jesus is.
This is how Dad was until the day the Lord took him
Home. He even wanted to go house hunting that very day, to help find us all a
better place to live. His thoughts were of others, even until his earthly end!
The Lord sure gave him a better place to live, and I'm so thankful that the
Lord now has freed him from the flesh and taken him into the Heavenlies with
Him where I know his rewards are great. And now he can continue helping us from
the spirit and lead and guide and teach us!
Right now I'm using Dad as an example, but the same
is absolutely true of Mama and Peter. I know that we all strive for more
appreciation in our lives with each other, but I must say that I am eternally
thankful for the time that I've had living with Dad, Mama and Peter, as I've
experienced appreciation like never before, and seen true-to-life examples of
how they care for the "little people."
I guess being on the staff, I've often thought of
myself as a little person, as I don't have a specialized pubs ministry calling,
but have worked more as a caretaker, cook, maid, done some secretarial work,
etc. But one thing I would like to say is how Dad, Mama and Peter have always
made me feel so appreciated and valued, and how they have never made me feel
lower than anyone else. You experience an unconditional love, which gives you
faith and encouragement to go on.
Another way that I can tell how concerned they are
about others is how they value each person that they hear about or are in
contact with. It really doesn't matter if it concerns a CRO or a VS or a member
of our Home or another Home anywhere. They look at each person as a precious,
priceless soul that the Lord has created, and are concerned about each and
every one.
One of the most precious ways to see this is how they
pray for these people. They can hear or read about someone, and they will
immediately stop and ask the Lord to bless that person, or ask the Lord to help
them if there is a problem, or heal them if they are sick, etc. I'm reminded of
the verses that says that not one little sparrow shall fall to the ground
except the Lord knows and allows it, and how each hair of our head is counted.
This is how precious each one is to Mama and Peter.
Oftentimes when we have prayer at our mealtimes, Mama
will call us on the intercom and remind us to pray for so-and-so and for
such-and-such a situation. She and Peter are both such samples of believing in
prayer and having the faith that the Lord will answer any petition, whether
they're for our Home situation or for someone across the world, no matter how
simple or complicated something can be. You just know that nothing is too hard
for the Lord.
A beautiful sample of Mama and Peter's love for us
all is how concerned they are about everyone's health and well-being. There has
never gone a day but that they will ask how everyone is doing and feeling. If
there are any health prayer requests, they will pray for that person and then
also follow up later, asking others to pray too and check and see if they're
getting better. It can be as simple as a headache or a stomachache or a dentist
check-up, but nothing is too small for them to be concerned about. If there is
anything of a serious nature, we are often called upon to do prayer vigils, and
usually someone-or some ones-ask the Lord for encouragement and help for that
person. I know that I have been taught some good lessons in being my brother's
and sister's keeper, and it often convicts me to take time to pray and be
concerned about others.
I have witnessed, and still do, countless occasions
day by day, Mama and Peter taking time with people and situations, often
sacrificing their time and schedule and health and going out of their way to
help out in whatever the need is, in counseling, praying, etc. I have seen many
lives changed because they took time to help someone in need. There are
numerous people who can testify that Mama and Peter helped them to pull them
through when they needed it.
I only had a short time of experience working under
System bosses before I joined, as I was a student, but I must say that of
anyone I have ever worked under, there is just no comparison to working under
Dad, Mama and Peter. There are many wonderful Family leaders and shepherds who
follow in the way of the sample that the Lord and Dad, Mama and Peter give. I
do truly know that they are the ones leading the way and teaching us all how to
be loving samples and shepherds to others.
One last thing I wanted to say is that I have never
regretted the calling that I heeded to come and work as the Folks' staff member
some years ago, and I know I will continue doing it gladly as long as the Lord
wants me to. This has been one of my heart's desires coming to pass in my life,
and I know that it's a priceless opportunity and privilege, which I am truly
thankful for. So there is no need for you who read this to feel sorry for me,
ha!
I pray that you will know the truth as you read this
and other testimonies. There is really no end to wonderful examples to share,
but I pray as you get a little glimpse through these paragraphs, that you will
also be able to partake of the wonderful truth about the life of Dad, Mama and
Peter. They love each one of us so and really give their lives for us daily. It
seems that the least we can do for them is to stand up for them and the truth
and resist the Enemy and his lies. We really owe them and Jesus so much for all
they've done and sacrificed for us! Fighting for the truth seems such a small
token of our love for them and the Lord, but it's worth it! Let's do it! I love
you!
* * *
James Penn's letter is
intriguing and well written. In fact, if I were the editor of a newspaper I
might even consider publishing it. Of course, my newspaper would be a tabloid,
and his article would reside adjacent to other literary works with titles such
as "Woman Gives Birth to Two-Headed Alien" and "Dog Eats
Dynamite and Explodes when Hit by Car." Much like the tabloids, while
James' letter may contain some facts and figures to supposedly back up what
he's expressing, they have unfortunately been twisted, exaggerated, and
arranged in such a way as to conjure evil and sinister images in our minds.
It seems that ever since man has had the ability to
put pen to paper (or chisel to stone), the world's leaders and celebrities have
consistently become victims of character assassination. Regardless of their
brave acts, triumphant victories, or selfless, world-changing actions, there
always seems to be a cynical, hard-boiled detractor who feels it is his duty to
wade through the sewers to collect the largest amount possible of hearsay and
unfounded accusation. Then, in the name of "truth" and
"freedom," he or she finds it necessary and noble to line us all up
and hose us down with the goop, all the while proclaiming that our lives will
be all the better for it. How brave.
For example, most Americans will admire Christopher
Columbus for putting behind him the scoffs and doubts of the masses, to brave
the seas and discover a whole new world of opportunity. In spite of his vision
and courage, he is now being accused by a minority of historians of being an
evil and depraved person, being directly responsible for the death, rape and
torture of thousands of innocent people. Oh, yeah, and he apparently didn't
really discover America.
Most people don't take that at face
value, due to the lack of evidence; nevertheless, due to the nature of rumors
you might still wonder what he did with those naked natives. Poor guy.
Mother Teresa, who gave practically every second of
her life for the poor of Calcutta, was said to have "earned her halo
through relentless self-promotion, abetted by various sinister interests."
I didn't make that up; that's an actual quote from one of the aforementioned
sewer junkies. I mean, think about it! What sort of "sinister
interests" could an old woman have as she lived amongst the disease and
squalor of one of the poorest locations on the planet? Maybe it was those naked
natives again.
Pope John Paul is regarded by many to be none other
than the Antichrist himself. It must be that fierce countenance. "Worship
me! I am God! (Now where did I put my false teeth?)"
Then there's Moses, who may have been hiding hideous
sins, and Jesus was considered a drunk and a devil. What's next? Was St. Paul a
wife-beater?
Sad to say, our small Family of believers has not
been exempt from the same sort of attacks on its leadership. So what can one do
to stop this? Probably nothing, and that's very unfortunate. It is therefore up
to the reader to be careful not to take such slanderous material at face value.
Just because a tabloid says that Brad Pitt has a tail, you don't have to fall
prey to their trickery and begin checking his butt during the Oscars.
Following is a question-and-answer survey that I put
together from my personal, real-life experiences. This test is designed to help
you measure how affected you are by groundless gossip and slander. Each
question has multiple answers, but only one represents a real-life account, so
choose your answer carefully.
During
a meeting in which Peter discussed the Family's most pressing problems and
needs, his speech consisted of (please choose the correct answer):
a.
He laid down his and Mama's solutions to the problems, backed up with reams of
confirmatory prophecy received by hand-picked WS prophets who have recently had
their brains scooped out and replaced with an electronic device.
b.
He began railing at WS leadership, placing the blame on them, and the rest of
the Family while he was at it.
c.
He proclaimed that the only way to overcome these problems is by having more
Loving Jesus and Praise Time, and to make it mandatory 12 times a day. This was
to apply whether or not you would be evicted if you did not raise your rent
that day.
d.
He said that the reason there are problems is that he and Mama do not have
enough control over the lives of Family members, and that they planned on
investing WS funds into a computerized bar code system and a homing device for
each member. (This was accompanied by a sinister "muahahahahaha"
laugh.)
e.
He chuckled and said, "Aw, it doesn't matter," Jesus is coming back
in a few years anyway.
f.
We were told that no one person, not even he or Mama, is smart enough to come
up with a solution on their own, so they wanted us to put our brains to some
serious thinking and praying in order to come up with solutions.
If you chose a, b, c, d or e, you should refrain from
reading stories about multi-headed aliens and detonating canines. If you chose
answer f, then you are absolutely correct. Congratulations! Not only do you
have a correct understanding of how the Folks work, but you probably don't
believe Brad Pitt has a tail.
During
a casual conversation, Mama asked me what I think of movies that are considered
"foolish," and are not particularly hurtful, but have no real value
except for entertainment. She did not seem to like them very much. My answer
was that I actually like them; I occasionally enjoy "foolish" movies,
as long as they don't poke fun at the Lord or serious situations. The result of
this differing opinion was (please choose the correct answer):
a.
She yelled, "You stupid, worldly idiot! You'd better get back on board or
we're going to take the board to your back!"
b.
Having never heard a differing opinion, her head began to spin and her outer
hull cracked.
c.
Six men wearing immaculate black suits and dark sunglasses jumped out of the
closet, nabbed me, and began dragging me away, saying, "Looks like we need
to put another bug in your bellybutton and take you through another
brainwashing session."
d.
She answered with, "That's very interesting. Thank you for your
opinion."
Was your answer d? If so, then you are correct again!
If not, then you probably have deep suspicions regarding the Pope, Moses, or
St. Paul.
My
experiences after having first arrived in WS were:
a)
I was placed in a dark cell for three months to cleanse my brain of opposing
opinions. The only activity I was permitted to engage in was prophesying.
b)
I was forced to engage in sexual activity with partners chosen by Mama and
Peter, and was required to participate in strange sexual rituals involving
dozens of people and an assortment of tropical fruits.
c)
I was forcibly placed on a chair in a cold, dank room with a single flickering
light bulb, where I was repeatedly read the voluminous and bizarre rules of WS,
interspersed with mafia-like threats.
d)
Upon entering my bedroom I found a tastefully decorated appreciation basket
complete with goodies and encouraging prophecies. All throughout the next week
I was asked by several people, including both Peter and Mama (more than once),
whether or not my room was adequate.
The one and only answer here is d. The others, as
intriguing as they may sound, are drawn from a variety of movies with traumatic
subject matter.
My
wife and I were going on an extended trip, which would mean being away from the
Home for some time. Before taking this trip, Mama and Peter did the following
(please choose the correct answer):
a.
Every day for two weeks prior to our departure we attended a continual stream
of meetings with them, in which we were browbeaten and threatened to tell no
one the truth of the harrowing experiences while at Mama and Peter's house.
b.
Trick question! Once a member of the WS cult, always a member of the WS cult.
Most people who have been caught attempting to leave WS, even temporarily, met
with an "unfortunate accident."
c.
Mama and Peter invited us to a simple meal in their room, at which we engaged
in enjoyable get-to-know-each-other better conversation.
If
you chose answer c, you got it right! If you chose answers a or b, you've
probably been watching too many B movies.
Now for something truly juicy. Following is a
fictional interview with a former member of WS, who, unlike James Penn, has
actually lived with Mama and Peter recently and had frequent contact (well at
least I, the writer, have). He has now broken out of this WS cult in order to
break out of the Family cult, in order to get a job and make lots of money for
himself and perfect strangers. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get
the inside scoop on what it's like to be a WS member, and who the Folks really
are.
(Interview
begins:)
Interviewer: We have here with us in the studio a true
former WS Victim. Thanks, Vic, for your participation in this interview. Say hi
to all those people out there.
WS
Victim: Hail Queen Mari ... Oh, I mean, Hello!
Interviewer:
Tell us a bit about yourself. We understand that you were once part of not only
a cult called the Family, but a cult within a cult called WS. Tell us a bit
about this cult-cult.
WS
Victim: WS is an elite group of weirdoes who all have one thing in common: they
forgot to grow a brain. Since leaving the WS and Family cults, I have faithfully
nurtured this brain by daily doses of "Baywatch," several cases of
Diet Coke, and a computer game called "Granny Squish II." I'd say my
brain is at about 30% now.
Interviewer:
Well, that's really good news, Vic. How do you feel now that you can actually
think for yourself?
WS
Victim: It's just wonderful. When the boss tells me I have to "go ahead
and come in for work on both Saturday and Sunday," I can think up for
myself all kinds of evil things I want to do to him, and can even tell my
friends about it. Before leaving the WS cult, I was constantly told to
"ask the Lord if it's okay" when I had questions or needed some time
off. WS leadership must have had some kind of psychological powers, because
these "prophecies" would seem to answer my questions and tell me
things like "you've been working too hard-why don't you relax and have a
beer." That's just so strange.
Interviewer:
How did you escape? I mean, escaping a cult is one thing, but having to escape
from a cult-cult really takes the cake.
WS
Victim: Oh, it was just a horrible experience. When I made the decision to
leave, everyone acted like they still loved me and stuff.
Interviewer:
That's interesting, but it sounds to me like they were just being friendly,
sort of like loved ones saying good-bye.
WS
Victim: I knew there had to be some sort of pernicious intention behind those
smiles and sweet words of encouragement, etc. I suppose they were trying to
brainwash me, but I held out, and now I can eat all the junk food I want.
Interviewer:
So tell us a bit about "Mama and Peter." We've heard they are some
kind of abusive despots who habitually lie and try to force people into
submission. If this is true, then you who lived with them recently should be
able to share some stories reminiscent of the Holocaust.
WS
Victim: That's right, it was a living Auschwitz! We engaged in hard labor on a
daily basis, and were subject to all kinds of psychological tortures.
Interviewer:
Can you give us some examples?
WS
Victim: Well ... uh ... for one thing we had to do dishes more than once a
week. If we forgot to do the dishes, then someone else would often do it for
us, maybe even let us know about it later. Though nothing physical happened as
a result, I seem to remember abnormal amounts of psychological vibes from Mama
and Peter when that happened, that seemed to say, "If you do that again
we're going to tie you up and throw you into a dark, wet cell full of rats the
size of Godzilla." I seemed to feel these vibes on numerous occasions.
Interviewer:
We also heard that Mama and Peter do not tolerate dissenting opinions. How was
this manifested?
WS
Victim: While it's true that Mama and Peter spend a great deal of time
counseling with other members of WS, and arranging delegates meetings with
dozens of Family members on the field, in reality these policies are undermined
by bizarre novels laced with the evil intentions of Mama and Peter.
Interviewer:
But from what we heard, these novels are written by all types of people within
the Family, both in WS and out, and that Mama and Peter have little to do with
their content.
WS
Victim: Well, I have a feeling that they somehow manage to sneak into the
computer files when no one else is looking and place subliminal messages. It's
not immediately apparent, but every time a child reads "Juanito's
Christmas Tree," vile subliminal messages are being transferred to the
innocent young reader's brain, such as, "You will be run over by a
steamroller if you leave the Family when you grow up!" It's just not
right.
Interviewer:
Since as you claim, the WS cult is so weird, how do Mama and Peter keep them in
line?
WS
Victim: Through tactics that cause a great deal of fear. People in WS live in a
constant state of fear that if they were to burn down the house or dump all of
the computers into a nearby river, they will probably be asked to leave. Proof?
On numerous occasions I noticed WS members typing at their computers at 1:00 in
the morning, and I can only assess that fear robbed them of their sleep.
Interviewer:
Tell us a little about these cult leaders and some of their supposed high
levels of weirdness.
WS
Victim: That's easy, because I was faced with it on a daily basis.
1.
They both spend an amazing amount of time working, when they could be viewing
"Baywatch" or shopping for Pokemon toys.
2.
They call themselves a king and queen, yet live as frugally or more than an
average Family community. If that's not eccentric, I don't know what is.
3.
They try to relate to young people and understand what they're going through,
when at their age anyone in their right mind would be spending their precious
time watching reruns of "As the World Turns" and yelling at kids who
are playing on their lawn.
4.
They believe in Jesus way too much. It's just not right that they should be
dedicating their lives to the cause of Christ, while encouraging others to do
the same, including young people. Once you leave the cult and have the
opportunity to step back, you realize that a missionary life is simply
ludicrous when there are so many malls, yet so few young people to hang out in
them these days.
Interviewer:
We're almost out of time. In a few sentences expound upon why you feel Mama and
Peter are the selfish, manipulative and egotistical leaders you make them out
to be.
WS
Victim: From time to time they discuss their own shortcomings and weaknesses
with those around them, and act in what appears to be a humble manner, speaking
very highly of Family members on the field. They weep for lost sheep or the
problems the Family is facing, such as persecution by disgruntled former
members. They spend time praying for individuals who they've heard are having
battles, and do all they can to help. They appear personable and engage in
casual, friendly conversation. However, under all those loving actions, that
dedication to the Lord, the immense sacrifices they make on a daily basis, and
their desperation to lead the Family in the right direction, there lurks a
dark, creepy plot to "earn their halo through relentless self-promotion,
abetted by various sinister interests."
(End
of interview.)
Seeing that both Mama and Peter are open-minded and
dependent upon the Lord and the help of others gives me solid faith in their leadership.
I've been in the Family for a long time and have had a lot of shepherds, and
from personal experience, can smell a hypocritical, egotistical leader from a
mile away. But here's the inside scoop: I have no doubt in my mind that both
Mama and Peter are competent, loving, and very sincere leaders. I say this not
because of any secret coercing WS force, but because I have been personally
convinced through critical observation.
* * *
No Regrets!-Why I’m Still
in the Family and in WS!
By Misty, Mama’s Home
I knew James Penn fairly well in the past since we
were involved in a relationship for a few years while we lived in the same WS
unit. (This was up until about six years ago.) When I knew him, he was not
particularly deep spiritually, but he was not vindictive or bitter. A personal
NWO that he tried to fight was that he wasn’t spiritually hungry and needed to
be regularly prodded to get in the Word. (By the way, in the Letter “On Guard,”
Dad was talking to Peter about him.) In spite of these weaknesses, it was clear
he loved the Lord.
During the years I knew James he consistently
demonstrated a proclivity to accept the mindsets of the world over the
Word-especially after his being deeply immersed in the court cases for a long
time, which included his reading massive amounts of anti-cult propaganda.
We all know how dangerous THAT is, having read “Faith Cometh By Hearing the
Word” (ML# 2821), especially if you don’t take in sufficient antidote-the Word.
I personally chose to bring our relationship to an end because his first
reactions and attitudes were gradually going more and more the way of the
world, and eventually it became too draining to have to listen to his
persistent, non-Word-based arguments and conclusions. James knows this. He
cried and I cried; it was a sad time.
James had not been strong in the Word for years
before he decided to leave the GPU to become a Fellow Member in July of 1998,
but I never thought he’d stoop so low as to write his “No Regrets” letter and
to go on sort of a personal vendetta to try to destroy the people he used to
love.
James’ account is history rewritten. He believes it,
but there are many sides to the story left out, and the Word quoted is
unbalanced or misinterpreted. Even though he does not admit it or possibly
doesn’t even realize it, I believe he wrote that letter to cause as many people
as possible to leave the Family. The way he does it is by attacking the
character of Mama and Peter, because if he can get someone to doubt them,
there is the possibility that that person will also doubt the Word they give
the Family in the GNs. This is ultimately an attack on the Word, and an attack
on each one of us.
If James had decided to leave the Family because he
no longer felt it was the place for him or because he had differences with Mama
and Peter, then fine. To each his own. I don’t have a problem with that,
although I’m sorry to see his change of heart after we have fought together
side by side with him for years. But this all-out assault on Mama and Peter
with the intent to destroy others’ faith in the Lord’s Word is unconscionable.
And the thing that angers me the most about it is that he is aiming his attacks
at our kids! He’s trying to cause you, our second generation, to doubt,
despise and turn your backs on Mama and Peter, and eventually the Family. He
shows his true motive when he says:
“I feel sorry for the young people in the Family, who
have their entire lives before them. What kind of a future will they have if
they stay in the Family? My hope and prayer is that they will learn from our
generation’s mistakes, and muster up the courage to leave.”
Man, if I were a young person in the Family and I
read that, I’d be furious! Who does he think he is that he can tear down your
faith and insult your intelligence and tell you that you should “muster up the
courage to leave,” like you were idiots?! You’re bright, dedicated, thinking
adults, and he has the gall to insinuate that you’re blind, controlled, abused,
and wasting your lives. He’s trying to tell you what you should think and how
you should live!
James doesn’t have any children. He has never been
married; he has never had the awesome responsibility day and night, year after
year of raising his children. He doesn’t know the joy that it is to have a
child and watch that perfect treasure from Heaven learn to love and serve the
Lord. He doesn’t know the passion with which a mother and father pour into a
child, doing everything possible to prepare him or her for the tests and trials
they’ll face in their life as a missionary. He doesn’t know the overwhelming
joy it is to see your child grow up as a dedicated disciple, willing to forsake
the world and the temptations of the System in order to embrace the high
calling of being a child of David. He doesn’t know how much it takes before
each young person is ready to make a commitment to the Family, including the
sacrifices involved and the radical meat of the Word, and what a rejoicing of
the heart it is when each one says “yes” to Jesus wholeheartedly.
Because he doesn’t know this, he also doesn’t know
how absolutely and totally upset you can be as a parent when someone dares to
intrude on that beautiful work of God with doubts from the Devil,
misinterpretations, twisted stories, incomplete anecdotes, misapplied quotes or
portions of Letters, and outright lies! I only have one child, and thank the
Lord he is committed and strong in faith. But I know that James’ letter has so
discouraged and stumbled some kids that they have decided to leave the Family.
That is so sad! Poor James!-Some day he’ll be so very sorry. He says “no
regrets” now, but some day he’ll have plenty of regrets! God help him!
All I can say to you who are fighting in prayer for
your children’s future in the Family, and you (young and old) who have been
confused by his letter and others like it, is that it’s a privilege to tell you
what I know to be the truth about Mama and Peter.
z
I have been in the Family since January of 1972, and
in WS since March of 1989. I lived for six years in a major pubs unit that was
first called “Creations” and then later called “Research.” That unit was
located in the same city as Dad and Mama’s Home. In early 1994 Dad and Mama and
their team moved to a different city. A year later, right after Dad’s
homegoing, I was invited to join Mama’s Home. That was the first time I met
Mama. That was five and a half years ago.
I am Mama’s executive secretary. I think it’s safe to
say that I know Mama well as my queen, shepherdess, co-worker, mate and friend.
I can testify from personal experience about her character, her relationship
with the Lord, the priorities she has in her life, her manner of shepherding
and working with people, and her work on the GNs. Mama and I talk a lot; that
is because I help Mama with whatever she needs me to do related to her GN work,
her personal communications with others, questions she asks me to pray about,
etc. Many (but not all) days we talk together for a significant amount of time;
some days when there’s a lot to discuss we talk for extended periods of time.
Our conversations are extremely varied. While most of the time we talk about
things related to work-such as the GNs in the works, recent messages the
Lord and Dad have given, questions that need to be brought before the Lord, the
needs and problems of the Family, or specific situations involving individuals
and what they’re battling-we also talk a lot about personal things. Because
Mama doesn’t put on airs, you really see her heart and get to know her and
learn a lot through talking with her. She’s a real communicator!
I feel free to communicate with Mama about anything
and everything. There has never been a person who knows me better than Mama, or
with whom I have been more open and honest.
There have been plenty of times when I’ve made some pretty ugly,
negative, bummer tapes for her related to my personal battles. (You already
know of most of these battles through the “Spiritual Attacks Intensified” GN
and my personal testimony about living the Law of Love and overcoming
jealousy.) I’ve also shared with her my questions and observations about
prophecy, shepherding, Family problems, the Law of Love, etc. I’ve also had the
privilege of sharing my deepest joys and victories with her.
Mama also has been open and honest with me. Besides
our work, which is the main focus of our relationship and most of our
conversations, we have also communicated with each other in detail about our
marriages, our sex lives, our jealousy battles, our intimate loving Jesus
experiences, and sometimes, for fun, about “girl things” such as new food and
recipe ideas, our tastes in clothes, ideas on how to be more efficient and
manage our time better (although that’s usually my woe/need, as in my
opinion Mama is extremely efficient), etc.
I know Peter well. During the years I lived at
Research I worked with him on many pubs. I also was his secretary at a number
of Summits, which allowed me to get to know him more intimately. Since coming
to live in his and Mama’s Home, I have not worked with him on a daily basis
because I’m not involved in Family administration, but I have assisted him on a
number of projects and with his work on some GNs. Of course, I see him
frequently through our interaction in our Home.
Okay, so much for the background and what I do and
what my relationship with Mama and Peter is. But I figure it’s important that
you know this because there are others, like James, who portray themselves as
knowing some supposed deep, dark, evil secrets about Mama and Peter. But bear
in mind that James hasn’t lived with Dad, Mama and Peter for over 10 years, and
hasn’t had personal contact with Mama for the same amount of time, and has only
seen Peter a few times, for several days each time, in the last six years.
How
I see Mama
Much has been written about Mama over the years-by
Dad and by others who know her. When I was on the field, I never tired of
hearing those personal details. I hope it’s not boring to you, but to begin
with, I’ll give you some insight about Mama’s personality and character based
on my contact with her.
• Mama loves
Jesus more than anything or anyone else. That is so obvious. When you are with
Mama or talk to her, you have a strong sense of the presence of the Lord-He
is always there, you can’t miss Him, it’s almost tangible. It’s because He’s so
much a part of every aspect of her life. He’s everything to her; all else pales
by comparison. Her conversations revolve around the Lord, the Word, prophecy,
His blessings, His solutions, questions we need to ask Him, things He’s recently
said that were enlightening, awesome or puzzling, etc. Mama does not show any familiarity toward
the Lord. She praises Him naturally, regardless of the circumstances. She is
respectful and humble toward Him. Her first priority in life, without a doubt,
is to love and obey the Lord.
• Mama’s life
is a picture of prayer. Her first reaction to a problem is to pray. I think
some of the rest of us pray as just another thing that we do-we eat, we sleep,
we pray. It’s a way of life for us, but unfortunately it’s not exactly our
lifeline. But the way Mama lives testifies that prayer is very real to her. She
stops repeatedly in a conversation to pray for whatever or whoever you talk
about. She doesn’t hang up the intercom or part from you personally without praying
for you and what you’re doing. She passes on prayer requests for her and Peter
and others daily and reminds us to pray. She solicits numerous messages from
the Lord on the specific effects of our prayers, to continue to motivate us to
pray.
If someone is in need of desperate prayer, she
organizes teams of prayer warriors to pray specifically for that person. (This
is confidential when appropriate.) She often has someone in the Home send
around hourly reminders via our computer network when there are urgent prayer
requests.
It disappoints her if someone is away on a trip and
they don’t send prayer requests home, because she knows that a lot of progress
is lost if we are not motivated to pray or we can’t pray specifically because
we don’t know what’s going on.
• I have
never known Mama to lie. Honesty and integrity are very important to her
because she knows that for her to lie would reflect negatively on her testimony
as a Christian, her representation of the Lord to others.
• Mama is a
passionate witness. When she and Peter come home from any kind of trip, when
they share testimonies with the Home, besides thanking everyone for their
prayers and telling of the many answered prayers, and talking about how much
they appreciate each person (which they do every time they talk to our Home),
they mostly talk about their witnessing. Mama is into prophecy, Loving
Jesus, the new weapons, pubs, etc., but she’s also super into witnessing,
and she is bold!
Not too long ago she and Peter took all the SGAs in
our Home on a weekend overnight outing. I’m sure there were lots of fun things
that happened, but when she came home and we talked about their time away, the
thing Mama talked about (for about 30 minutes) was not the food they ate or the
scenery they enjoyed or any interesting conversations she had had with the
young people, but about one of her witnessing encounters and all the
miracles the Lord did to bring that woman across her path so she could give her
a tract. It doesn’t take long when you’re around Mama to see what’s important
to her.
• Mama loves
people unconditionally. She is merciful, kind, considerate, understanding, and
goes the extra mile to try to help people. She wants the people in her Home to
be happy. If she hears that someone is sick, she’ll ask someone to tell that
person that she loves them and is praying for them. (She doesn’t usually beep
or drop by so as not to disturb them if they’re sleeping.) If she hears you’re
really bummed, she’ll call you and try to cheer you up. But she goes about it
in such a good way, not making you feel like you have to pretend that you’re
doing well and getting the victory if you’re not. She just accepts the fact
that the Enemy really fights sometimes, and she shows so much sympathy. Even if
you don’t know what’s wrong and you’re just sad or something, she just tries to
be there for you. It’s uncomplicated and very comforting. You feel like she
really understands and takes you where you’re at.
• Mama is
really cool! She’s so unpredictable. She has a great sense of humor. I love to
be around her.
• Mama is
emotionally stable. She doesn’t have mood swings. Nothing seems to rattle or
discourage her. She’s constant, and you can count on her to not overreact or
get negative or accusatory regarding serious Family problems or the sad reports
and personal letters she reads. She doesn’t get freaked out even about real
problem situations. Take, for example, the accusations that are flying around
these days about her and Peter. It’s not like she gets personally offended and
says, “Oh, that’s disgusting! I’m really upset!” She prays about it and sees it
as a serious attack of the Enemy on the Family and the Word, but her main
priority is not to clear her own name, but to do everything possible to help
the people who are confused and stumbled.
Mama knows you can’t please everyone all the time.
Her priority and goal is to get out the Lord’s Words, and she is faithful to
the Lord regardless of whether everyone agrees with her or not.
But what really does bother her is when such
slander, lies and twisted half-truths hurt you! That really gets her
attention! She’s a very attentive, vigilant and sober-minded shepherdess and
she won’t stand idly by if wolves are threatening or hurting her flock! Then
she’ll fight back!
Mama has been very involved with monitoring the
effects of detractors’ activities, hearing recent reactions from the field,
praying about how to strengthen the Family, answering questions in the GNs, and
especially praying for the Family. She knows things have been rough
lately. She doesn’t live in a dream world; she knows some are discouraged and
are fighting heavy battles. But she has faith; she doesn’t ever waver or doubt
the Word or the way the Lord has led, and I haven’t heard her say any
disparaging comments about James Penn or anyone else. She knows this is an
attack of the Enemy, and she knows we have to fight, but she also knows it will
pass and we’ll go on to accomplish the great things the Lord has promised. When
you’re around Mama you know everything is going to be okay.
• Mama is a
good people handler. She’s very respectful of people and concerned about their
feelings. She gives you the benefit of the doubt, anticipates your reactions,
lets you hear from the Lord yourself whenever possible, and once you’ve learned
your lesson, she drops it. She doesn’t rub things in or make an issue of
something if it’s what she calls “self-correcting.” If you’ve recognized your
mistake, communicated about it, heard from the Lord, etc., then she sees no
need to keep riding it or even mention it again, which would only further
embarrass you.
I usually try to pour out my really bad trials and
battles on tape, because you know how it is…sometimes you’re crying and being
real dramatic (a woman thing!), and it’s nice to just get it out, without
having to try to be all positive or react to counsel right on the spot. Plus,
sometimes I am just filling her in on the details via tape and then I’m going
to hear from the Lord about whatever is bothering me. Mama doesn’t dissect what
you say and get negative about you. She doesn’t label you or hold it against
you. In fact, once you’ve learned whatever it is you need to learn, or once
you’ve heard from the Lord, she usually only talks about the solution, the
answer, the Lord’s counsel. She doesn’t even mention the details of your
battles or what you said. All your
negativity, wrong reactions, unyieldedness, etc., is irrelevant to her once
you’re on the road to victory. And even if the battles go on and on, like
sometimes they do, she still doesn’t get negative about you or hold it
against you. She knows that some things take time.
Mama is really sensitive in that she doesn’t push you
to tell her something if you’re not ready. She can sense if you’re not quite
yourself, and she might say, “Are you okay?” There have been times when I was
really battling and out of it when she asked me that and I said, “I’m having a
bad day. I’ll tell you later. This is not a good time to talk about it.” Then
she simply prayed for me and dropped it. She doesn’t pry or make you feel
forced to talk. Of course, I guess if you were not communicating at all, then
she might pry a bit more-ha! But if you are open and honest, she’ll give you
the space you need.
• Have you ever
known shepherds who talk about others behind their backs very negatively, in a
critical, belittling way?-They really get into all the ways someone is so out
of it or weak or proud or whatever. Maybe you’ve done that yourself. I know I
have, LHM! Well, in all the conversations over the years I’ve had with Mama I
don’t recall her ever doing that. If you have to discuss a problem with her or
the problems someone is having, her motive in doing so is clearly to understand
the situation and especially to define what to ask the Lord in order to get the
counsel needed to help the person. There is not that icky self-righteous spirit
of “let’s really get into this person’s problem and get down on them and talk
about how bad they are (and thereby feel real good about ourselves).”
• Mama has a
good personality. She’s funny, well educated, and extremely interested in
people. She laughs a lot. She’s a real lady; she’s very queenly in her manner
and beautiful, and she doesn’t use bad language except when there’s a real
legitimate reason, and even then, only with the Lord’s permission. Ha! She
doesn’t complain, and even when she’s really busy she doesn’t make you feel
like you’re bothering her. She makes you feel important. She’s open and honest,
and is always telling jokes about herself and the funny things she does. People
who have never met her think of her as being real shy, but actually she’s great
with one on one conversation and gives captivating talks before groups.
• She loves
Peter so much and really knows how to wisely and lovingly care for her husband.
It’s fascinating to see her balance her roles as a queen and a wife, which
takes great wisdom because in one role she’s the boss, and in the other
role he’s the boss. Ha! She’s very respectful of Peter and honors him.
(I have to interject here that Peter is extremely respectful of Mama. He is not
familiar with her, and when the situation warrants, he shows obvious humility
and responds to her with “Yes, Ma’am.”)
• Mama lives
the “One Wife” vision in that she loves her own kids, David and Techi, as their
mom and she takes a personal interest in them, but she also loves the other
young people in the Home and is concerned about each one of them too, She makes
them feel loved and cared for as her own. I think it’s pretty amazing how she
does this. She tries to spend personal time with David and Techi when she can.
She does sweet little things for them, like share her snacks with them, or go
out for an occasional pizza dinner, or give them some little token gifts every
once in a while (like passing on sort of cool clothes to Techi that are sent to
Mama from provisioning). She and Peter were also very sweet to Nicole and would
sometimes have little times of fellowship with David and Nicole together. (This
was when David and Nicole were living with us.)
Now
I’ll go on to how I see Peter:
• He is humble.
It’s amazing to me that someone who is so wise, experienced and anointed can
have so little confidence in himself, and be so obviously dependent on the
Lord. He often prays for the Lord’s
help and guidance right in the middle of conversations. When you’re with him
discussing something or deliberating about a need or problem, it’s very
apparent that he is desperate to make the right decisions. He really thinks and
ponders and goes slow. He’s in the fear of the Lord about his responsibility.
• He is a
yielded bride for Jesus. I love to hear Peter say love words to the Lord. He’s
not like super eloquent, but that doesn’t matter. He’s so desperate. He really
loves the Lord and wants to be close to Him and be like Him.
• He sometimes
worries about the problems of the Family.-Not in a bad way, not like he lacks
faith, but I believe because he feels so responsible. He wants to be sure to be
doing everything possible to try to solve some of the big problems of the
Family-but it’s difficult because there are so many problems and so much to do,
and he and the leadership of the Family can only tackle so much at once. He
knows there is more that needs to be done to raise more finances at every
level, improve the education of our children, take care of the aging FGAs, make
life in the Family more challenging for young people, etc., and it weighs
heavily on him.
• He works
hard. Of course Mama works really hard too, almost all the time, but she’s a
little bit in a different category, because her whole world is her work on the
Word and for the Family. But Peter is a Taurus, and as you know, Tauruses
usually really like to have time to relax and enjoy life. But rarely does he
have much of that. He just doesn’t have time. Most of the time he’s very very
tired, and yet he’s sort of “driven” by his vision and desire to improve things
in the Family. Sometimes I’ve been concerned because he sets such short
deadlines for his projects or travels or meetings, etc., because it means he’s
going to work almost nonstop and be totally wiped out. But I know why he
does that. It’s not because he loves to push himself or because he’s addicted
to stress or he’s accomplishment-oriented. He does it for you, for the
Family! He’s not even strong physically, so I think it’s a miracle that he
manages to keep up the pace he does. I
think it’s his love and concern for the Family’s needs that keep him going.
I want to clarify that while Peter is very busy, he
gets his Word time and meditation/prayer time faithfully. He and Mama have
devotions every morning. They hear from the Lord every morning (and sometimes
at other times during the day). That time when they’re in prayer and reading
the Word is “off limits.” We in the Home do not interrupt or disturb unless
it’s a dire emergency!
• I love to
talk with Peter because you see those many years of experience with Dad and
Mama. And even though he’s the king now, he’s still very respectful of Mama and
even Dad. He told me just two days ago, “I’m not in the Family because I have a
job. I’m in the Family because I believe this is the Lord’s will for me,
because I want to serve the Lord.”
Mama
and Peter’s openness to counsel and dissenting opinions
I read the comments from James about how Mama and
Peter get rid of anyone who don’t agree with them 100%, how they are control
freaks, etc. That’s not true.
Mama and Peter counsel regularly with the CROs. They
do this primarily through written communications, obviously. There are also the
Summits, which is when Peter and the CROs hash out the various problems and big
questions, discussing, hearing from the Lord, etc. But Mama and Peter also
invite various CROs to visit. I’m sure they’d like to have all the CROs come,
but each time a CRO or a small group of CROs come, it takes the majority of
Mama and Peter’s time, because they have hours and hours of meetings each day,
spend personal time with them, receive a lot of prophecies for them, etc. It’s not like they just sit around
fellowshipping and enjoying nice meals or going out with the CROs, like a
little vacation. They work hard and it’s quite taxing for them both. But the
whole point of the visits, besides allowing the CROs who come to get tanked up
a little by being around Mama and Peter, is to talk and pray about Family
problems.
There have been two business-type meetings so far in
the year 2000 with three or four CROs visiting each time. Those weeks were
grueling for those involved! For weeks Peter had a three-hour morning meeting,
then a meeting over lunch, then a three-and-a-half hour afternoon/evening
meeting, then a meeting over dinner. (Mama attended as many of the meetings as
she could, depending on her other timely work.) Then usually Peter and Mama’s
few “free” hours at night were spent personally shepherding the CROs or
catching up on timely messages and other work.
All these meetings were to discuss changes needed in
the Family, solutions to ongoing problems, where to get the money needed, how
to spread out the leadership load, etc. These meetings were lively debates,
back and forth. Anyone who’s been involved in meetings like that knows how
tiring, draining and mind-bending that kind of work schedule and pressure can
be! And the reason Peter (and Mama) endure that is to hear from others, to
counsel, to make wise decisions for the sake of the Family!
Anyone who says Mama and Peter don’t value others’
opinions or only want things their own way is wrong. They just don’t know Mama
and Peter.
Mama and Peter also counsel with people in their Home
within the realm of their various ministries or responsibilities. Of course,
it’s not like you arrive in our Home and immediately begin debating with Mama
and Peter. It takes some time before you feel comfortable voicing a contrary
opinion or bringing up another side-after all, they are the king and
queen. (Something our detractors don’t like to mention. Ahem!)
I don’t want to give the impression that everyone
argues with them or is disrespectful or familiar. There is a balance.
Mama and Peter want to hear from others, but we who
have that responsibility also have to remember that we are their helpers
and counselors. They are the ones who have the responsibility to
make the final decisions as the shepherds of this Family. The danger of being in
a position where you are asked your opinion or what you say has some kind of
bearing in the questions asked the Lord or the decision made is that you can
get lifted up in pride. That’s dangerous.
If Mama is making a point about something important,
I don’t particularly like having to say, “I understand your point, Mama, but on
the other hand maybe you should consider…” Or if Peter is feeling led to go a
certain direction in a publication or project, it’s not my favorite thing to
say, “But it doesn’t seem quite balanced; it might have a better effect in the
long run if we were to do such-and-such…” But like it or not, those of us who
work with them do it because they want us to and expect us to. If we have an
opposing opinion or a different idea, Mama and Peter want to know about it.
They have made it abundantly clear that we are free to bring up any point we
want. They have also made it clear that they might not agree with us and that
sometimes we aren’t right in our opinions. We are respectful when bringing our
opinions to them and they are respectful of our opinions.-And those of us who
live here aren’t the only ones who express our opinions and give suggestions.
The CROs do it as well, as do you Family members via your letters, and Mama and
Peter honestly consider those dissenting opinions.
For those of us who know them well, there is back and
forth dialogue, and it’s often pretty direct, without a lot of powder puffing.
The reason it can be that way is because we know they want the other
opinions; they respect them and consider them. Mama and Peter know they don’t
know everything or see all sides. They depend on counsel, and they are very
open. They hear you out. Even if your views are narrow and not presented very
well, they listen, and they don’t just listen, they seriously and respectfully
consider what you have to say. Listening is not the end in itself. They don’t
listen just to make you feel good. Listening is a means to the end, and the
goal is to make wise, loving, well-rounded decisions. When you voice your
opinions or objections, they might ask you to hear from the Lord about your
ideas, or they’ll put your views in the pot with all the others when they hear
from the Lord.
Having said all that, I want to bring out that they
are the chosen shepherds of the Family and they are responsible to the Lord and
the Family for the decisions they ultimately have to make. As such, they wisely
listen to counsel, they pray, they hear from the Lord and then make the final
decisions. We have to accept that they have the final word, just like the boss
of any company or organization has the final decision. And in our organization
we can be sure that the final decisions will be right because they’ve been
prayed and counseled about, the Lord has given confirmations in prophecy on the
matter, and He has said numerous times that He will not let Mama and Peter be
misled.
We who have the responsibility to discuss things back
and forth with them have to watch out about getting familiar or critical or
thinking we’re so smart if something we say changes the plan in some way or
their perception of something. There is always the potential problem of pride.
Everyone knows how it wounds your pride when you make a great case for
something but it falls flat and those in charge do something else. If you hold
on to your “rightness” in a case like that, it can be a real problem.
I’d venture to say that’s probably what happened with
James. He had a lot of contrary opinions in the years before he left, which he
voiced. But when Mama and Peter didn’t do what he said or thought, he didn’t
let his own opinions go. Obviously, he’s got a lot of gripes; he cites a lot of
things he feels Mama and Peter (and Dad) did wrong. He puts himself up as being
amongst the few who were fighting for righteousness and truth, against
tremendous odds. But really, the whole time he was in WS he had ample
opportunity to share his views, just like all the rest of us do. And being the
outspoken guy that he is, he did. But somewhere along the line I think he forgot
that he’s not always right. He failed to trust the Lord when a different
decision was made. Lord, help us all!
Things
changed with Dad’s death
It wasn’t a big crisis for me when Dad died. I loved
him dearly and have great respect for him as the Lord’s Endtime prophet, but I
didn’t have a crisis of faith when he went to be with the Lord.
Granted, it was an adjustment to varying degrees for
all of us when Mama started to depend so much on prophecy. (Of course even that
wasn’t so much of a change for those of us who lived in WS, because Mama had
been having us have what we called PPMs, united prayer and prophecy meetings,
for years. We had prayed and heard from the Lord about lots of questions she
had.) But anyway, instead of so much discussion and coming to conclusions based
primarily on experience and knowledge of the situation or even counsel, there
was the constant “let’s ask the Lord.” That really takes the focus off any individuals.
My perception is that James, who thought he had a lot of “power” because Mama
and Peter listened to him, had to take a more humble position, because now the Lord
obviously had the last word via prophecy. I don’t think he liked that.
Also over the course of the next couple of years
after Dad went to be with the Lord, there was a big change in the way pubs were
worked on in WS. When Dad was alive, the Letters didn’t include as much
prophecy, but rather were given by the Lord inspiring Dad as he spoke.
Eventually, under Mama’s leadership, prophecy became the primary means for
producing pubs. Mama’s GNs were largely comprised of prophecy. The first drafts
of the Activated books were received in prophecy. The Heaven’s Library
stories and books were also received in prophecy, and then teamworked on
further by the earthly editors and spirit-writers. Prophecy was and still is
the name of the game.
It seems James never made that switch. I think he
resented it, and one reason I believe he refused to let the Lord work through
him in that way was because it was much more humble. (I’m not sure if he had
the gift of prophecy, but if not, I’m sure the Lord would have given it to him
eventually if he had hung on.) You get quite a bit of glory when you write
a book or a class or a GP pub, but not when you just receive it in prophecy
like a little channel. In that case, you know, and everyone else knows, that
it’s not you. You don’t get any acclaim for being such a good writer.
Granted, James Penn was a good writer when he was
yielded to the Lord. He wrote the Tribute to Dad; in fact, he wrote the Tribute
to Dad after the court cases, during the time he says in his letter that
he was supposedly so disillusioned (See Statement: “A Tribute to the Man,
His Mission and His Message”). Amazing, huh? Just shows how people can
change their minds and perspective, depending on their choices and spiritual
state.
My personal
opinion is that James just couldn’t accept the place of prophecy in our lives.
He now ridicules Mama, mocks her faith in prophecy, and doubts the prophecies
she sent him. I think that was the deal- breaker for him! This might seem like
a small thing, but it’s pretty sobering how serious the consequences can be
when someone doesn’t flow with the major direction God is going.
Mama’s
attitude toward prophecy
Some would have you believe that Mama uses prophecy
like some kind of evil weapon to hurt and control people, that she maliciously
adds weight to her own words and seeks her own will by using prophecy to make
people do what she wants. That’s not true.
Mama is extremely respectful of prophecy. She is very
much in the fear of the Lord about prophecy and that is displayed daily. She
doesn’t change prophecy (as in edits or additions, etc.) without the Lord’s
permission which is received in prophecy.
I think the rest of us get familiar with prophecy
sometimes. We read so much of it in the GNs and hear from the Lord so much that
we lose a little of our reverence; we can tend to quit seeing it as something
totally awesome and supernatural, the voice of the Lord. But Mama is not like
that.
Time and time again I have been convicted by seeing
the respect Mama has for the Lord’s Words. She takes the Lord’s counsel and
instruction seriously-whether it is a minor point like her need to cut down on
the honey in her diet, or something major like His instruction for her and
Peter to make a series of video meetings to pass on some counsel and
shepherding to the CROs and VSs.
Everything the Lord says is important to Mama. When
the Lord gives instruction, she does something about it. Prophecy is not
just “inspiring” or “beautiful” to her. It’s real instruction and counsel from
the Lord that she feels responsible to consider, pray about, get more details
on, and try, to the best of her ability, to implement. When she gets
instruction from the Lord, she changes or she follows up on it with the next
steps needed to fulfill His instructions. There is action. There is follow-up.
Mama uses prophecy extensively when shepherding
others. Some might think she does that because she wants to pressure people or
make them conform, since they won’t be able to argue with prophecy. That is not
the true reason at all. She uses prophecy to shepherd people because she has
much more confidence in the Lord’s Words than her own. She doesn’t presume to
understand someone’s heart or innermost feelings, battles, and desires. She
usually has an idea of the needs of a person or situation, but she will seek
the Lord’s viewpoint in prophecy so she can be sure her counsel is exactly
within the Lord’s will.
Yes, she often does give prophecies to the person
when she counsels them-almost always, in fact. But the reasons are because she
feels most people would rather hear it from the Lord than from her, and she
knows the Lord can present things more accurately and fully than she can. Some people
look at prophecy as this “thing”-and they get bugged if it’s too in their face
or too hard- hitting or if they think it’s “wrong,” especially when the Lord is
giving some kind of insight about their personal life or problems or changes
they need to make. That’s when I’ve seen some people put prophecy in a category
off to the side, and it’s no longer the Lord’s Words, they no longer feel they
need to respect it. That’s when the accusations come out against Mama-she uses
prophecy to control others.
Whenever there is a “heavy” message to give someone,
I know for a fact that she seeks the Lord numerous times about it. She also
counsels with all involved. She also gives the situation time. She doesn’t just
get a heavy message and then slam the person down with it. She’s extremely
careful, and the reason she gives the message to the person at all is because
she wants to help the person to grow. It has nothing to do with “control” and
everything to do with love.
But what we have to also understand is that she is a
woman of tremendous conviction. She doesn’t fear man, she doesn’t
compromise. She delivers the message the Lord wants to give to the Family as a
whole, to the world or to individuals. She is very loving, goes slow, takes her
time, prays about it, checks with those who will be affected, prays again and
again, spends a lot of time personally thinking and praying about the
situation, etc. But when all is said and done, she doesn’t back down on the
message the Lord wants to give. She is sweet, tender, understanding, gentle,
but she says what needs to be said. Even when she dreads it, when she knows it
will be very hard for the person or hard-hitting for some of the Family, she
still gives the message. If you ask me, this is real love. It’s “tough love.”
To my knowledge Mama has never “used” prophecy to get
her way or force anyone to do anything. She depends on prophecy because she
wants to be sure to be right, because she loves the Family and the people she
shepherds.
Often when Mama has prayed and heard from the Lord
about a certain person and their problem, she will ask the Lord for another message-this time speaking
personally to the individual involved-one that will make it easier for
them, one that will be gentler. The reason she does this is that in the first
prophecy the Lord is speaking to the shepherd about the person, in the second
prophecy the Lord is speaking directly to the person with the problem. The last
thing she wants to do is hurt someone through prophecy, which could hurt their
faith in the Lord and His love. She is faithful to confirm with the Lord that
any prophecies passed on to individuals are presented just as the Lord wants
them to be-not harshly or too strong, and usually more gently than how the Lord
may have explained the situation or problem to their shepherds.
She is so cautious and careful sometimes that it can
be a little aggravating when you’re working with her. There is so much checking
and double-checking. It takes a lot of patience, and sometimes it even seems
she goes overboard with asking the Lord again and again. But it’s because she
loves and cares.
About
the Law of Love
Lots of anti-cult people, James included, like to
rail on the Family for our living the Law of Love. James took the approach of
being so terribly offended with this, like it is something so awful that Mama
and Peter would dare to intrude on that most private part of our lives. That’s
so typical of a churchy attitude. They put sex in a different category as if it
were something evil that should never be talked about or prayed about, and
certainly no preacher should ever be so bold as to get involved in any way in
people’s sex lives! Tsk tsk! After all, sex is something secret and naughty!
Funny, I never heard James complaining about the
sexual freedom of the Family when for over 20 years his sexual needs were met
by single and married women. He didn’t have a problem with being the recipient
of the loving sex given by many sacrificial women in WS. Hmm…maybe he’s
forgotten that.
James is real uptight because of the Law of Love
series. But he just doesn’t get it. He says, “Given their horrendous track
record and the many lives that they have ruined, why do Maria and Peter feel
they have the right to control, manipulate, and exhaustively regulate this most
private, intimate act? What right do they have to dictate what people’s sexual
values and conduct should be? Many Family Members are middle-aged. The Law of
Love has been drilled into them for years. Many have FFed. They have paid their
dues in the sexual freedom department. They don’t need to be lectured to, or
bullied. Why can’t Maria and Peter leave them alone to decide what they want to
do with their own bodies? Why can’t a mother who has several children feel free
to care for them without being bombarded with sexual missives, and condemned
because she just does not have the energy, or even the desire, to put out?”
That is a completely twisted and perverted analysis
of Mama and Peter’s teachings about the Law of Love. Mama and Peter are not
controlling, manipulating and bullying people! And how, by the way, does James
think they would even do this-by going into the Homes and forcing people
to have sex?! Come on! Ridiculous! My God, doesn’t he realize how feisty,
independent and Charter-oriented the Family is today? People in the Family are
going to do what they have the faith for, and no one is going to force them to
“put out.” That’s the way it is, as I’m sure you know!
When reading James’ account of the Law of Love series
I question whether he even read it. What about all the guidelines in it for
those who create babies-is that making people feel forced and “bullied” to
start having a lot of sex? What about all the guidelines for relationships
outside marriage and the responsibilities of the giver and the receiver-does
that sound like Mama and Peter are just pounding people over the head to have
sex? What about the counsel about the need to care for single women, FGAs who
are lonely? I think James is a little clueless about the state of the Homes
these days, but it seems there are a lot of single women who feel a lot less
worried about having to “put out” than they are about not having their needs
for affection and sex met. So let’s get things in proper perspective.
I know the women I share my husband with are
thankful, they enjoy it, they need it, and they want the affection, sex and
intimate time loving the Lord. It’s a good thing, not something that is ruining
lives.
Now, come to think of it, some people might use my
own testimony of victory over jealousy to deduce that sexual sharing is forced.
I’ve even received some pretty strong comments from brethren on the field who
were offended that Matthew was having dates when it was causing me battles. I
think people got the impression that he was being bad to me because he was
having sex with young women. I have to
admit that those comments bothered me a little bit because some people were
writing in an accusatory spirit, as if Matthew was acting like some kind of
lecherous old man, drooling after the SGAs, treating me badly, etc., like, “How
could he do that!?” Well, the answer is, he didn’t! That’s not the case.
To set the record straight: I was never forced by
Mama and Peter to live the Law of Love.
All the dates that Matthew has ever had with any woman other than me
have been our idea, usually mine. Mama and Peter did not even encourage
us along those lines. In fact, when I brought up the idea to Mama of Matthew
starting to share with the young women, Mama was very cautious and even said it
might not be necessary or a good idea, that I needed to be sure I had the faith
for it, etc. Mama did not hint, push or in any way make me feel I needed to do
a certain thing regarding sexual sharing. She left that entirely in our court.
We didn’t share sexually because there was any
pressure from Mama to do so or because it was the “in thing.” We did it because
the Lord showed us to do it. We did it to care for others, to build unity. We
did it because we believe it’s right and godly and the truth!
And I can’t tell you how happy I am that we did. I’m
absolutely convinced that we did the right thing because today I’m completely
free of the battles with jealousy that I fought for so long. The Enemy has been
defeated in my life and now I have the victory not just by faith, but it’s
manifested in feelings. Now when we
share sexually with others it’s not a big deal. It’s sweet, it’s fun, it’s
wonderful! It’s so cool, it’s so much fun! I no longer have the Devil and all
his lies, accusations, suspicions, and fears on my back. I’m free. Glory to
God! Hmmm…that’s not my idea of “ruining lives.”
In
conclusion …
I imagine James spent months carefully weaving
his diatribe, finding quotes (with the help of the ARC) that supported his
position while conveniently ignoring whole Letters and the Charter because they
didn’t help to build his case. If this shows anything, it proves to me the
importance of knowing the Word. If we’re going to be in the Family, then
we need to be here 100% and be fully persuaded, so we’re not rattled and upset
and blown away by some detractor’s letter.
And yet, there have been people who have been willing
to throw away all their years in the Family, based on what he said! What about
all your years reading the Letters, knowing Dad and Mama intimately through the
Word? What about all the Lord’s promises about Mama as His Endtime prophetess?
What about Dad’s appointment of Peter as king? What about all the ups and downs
you’ve been through in the Family and hung on? What about all the fruit you’ve
seen? What about your faith in the Word and the revelations the Lord has given
Dad? What about your commitment to being a disciple?
How can you let all that go because you read a letter
from a man you don’t even know? It’s his word against Mama and Peter’s word.
It’s his spin against their honest explanation. What’s his agenda?
What’s his motive? Does he love you? Is he serving the Lord? What
are his fruits? Why do you think he wrote that letter?
I’m committed to this Family and I don’t care what
James Penn says! I don’t care what he does, what he thinks, or what he feels.
He and his letter are of absolutely no consequence to me, because I have made a
decision between me and the Lord to be a disciple in the Family. I refuse to
let the prejudices of others tell me how I should think and what I should feel.
I refuse to allow people to bring up some of Dad’s past mistakes in an effort
to convince me to abandon my faith in the man who taught me how to love and
serve Jesus. I refuse to judge the past actions of the Family by the climate of
today. And I’m certainly not going to take the word of James Penn or the System
and their interpretation of my religion over what Dad, Mama and Peter tell me
and over what the Lord Himself tells me.
I know I’m following Jesus. He is our Leader.
He is the Head of this Family. Not only am I following Him through the
foundation of the Bible upon which this Family is built, but also
through the Letters given through David of the End and his successor
Maria-Letters that I’ve been reading and that have worked wonders in my life
for nearly 30 years! I am following Jesus through the Words He gives me
personally through my own gift of prophecy.
I am determined to follow Jesus in the Family no
matter what all the James Penns of this world say. In fact, when I read his
letter it only made me more determined and gave me greater resolve to
tenaciously hang on and let no man steal my crown. I pray that God will
continue to help me follow the Words of David, that I will have the faith and
humility to continue to use the new weapons, to prepare for the future, and to
be all I need to be as we enter the era of action! I pray I will continue to
grow spiritually and be totally sold out to the Family and dropped out of the
System, so that if I ever meet James Penn again or any of our other detractors
they’ll see in me a living sample of the Letters!
I love the Mo Letters! I love the GNs that have been
published since Dad’s home-going. I love Dad’s new messages from Heaven! I love
Mama and Peter! What James Penn wrote didn’t shake my faith one bit; it didn’t
make me doubt or wonder one bit! I know what I believe, and I not only
put my all in with Mama and Peter, but I pray that daily I will become
more like them. I follow them as they follow Jesus!
* * *
UNPUBLISHED
Letter to a Young Person
From Robin (formerly
Keda), Japan
Dear
friend,
I sure love and appreciate you and all
the times you’ve worked hard, given it your best, and stood fast through
difficult squeezings and tests. These aren’t the simple days of yore when we
used to go out witnessing, taking one or two kids with us, talking with people
here in Japan about the Lord and helping them learn that there actually can be
answers to their lives. Things used to be much less complex, not only for us,
but for the world as a whole.
You’ve read how amazingly things have
changed since Dad’s life started compared with ours.-Well, they sure have
changed amazingly in the last ten years in society, as well as our communities.
Whereas we used to be fairly cut off from the world around us, and isolated,
especially when you were younger, as you know, as the years have been
progressing, we’ve been opening up far more in our thinking and relations with
others.
I know recently you’ve read some material
that talks about Mama being a “control freak” and how her and Peter’s “overuse
of prophecy,” etc., has caused them to have a very strong rein on the Family.
Well, I totally disagree. But I know for me, having had many chances over the
years to live with Dad and Mama and Peter, in some ways I have a real advantage
in having seen and experienced them in action in all types of ways.
I know you have read the writings of
someone who has left, expressing his view of life and expounding on his
personal reasons for leaving. I’m not perturbed about his leaving, as that’s
totally his prerogative, nor am I so concerned about his reasons, as every
individual is of course free to have whatever reasons he perceives as being
important. What I am concerned about, though, is the very unbalanced statements
and what I believe to be unfortunately critical and inaccurate conclusions that
were drawn, because there is some degree of power when someone says “I was
there.”
I’ve been able to visit Dad and Mama and
Peter numerous times over the years, and have lived with them for several
months at a time on different occasions, so just to balance things out, I felt
I’d like to share a few of my personal experiences. Ultimately, what you
believe is entirely your prerogative, but to have unbalanced input before you
make your decisions, seemed to me to be unfortunate. I actually have literally
hundreds of incidents and things that impressed me whenever I was with them,
which cause me to feel entirely different than they have been recently
portrayed, but I’ll limit my points to just a few that you possibly know about
or at least would find relatable. I have no hidden agenda here, I simply felt
that after having read a lot of what I feel is personal perceptions, which I
certainly don’t agree with, you might appreciate hearing some of the other side
of the coin.
I’m so glad my kids went to public
elementary school here in Japan for three years after having been home schooled
up until that point. It wasn’t easy for them, as you know, learning the
language and the culture, but we had chances to reach out to people in the
community around us and to be much more in sync with their lives and to
understand the difficulties they face daily, which in some ways we’d been
protected from. I remember having wrestled with the fact that my kids didn’t
speak Japanese very well all the years we’d been here, wondering what the
solution was.
At the time, I and the Japanese family I
was working with heard from the Lord together, as since the Charter we felt the
freedom to really decide what we felt would work in our situation. It was a
fairly radical stance at that point in time to step out and say we were going
to send them off, after having been very protective in the care of our kids up
until that point, but I’m so glad I did. At the time I communicated with Mama,
as she and Dad had been encouraging us to home school our kids to help them not
fall prey to adverse influences, bullying, violence and overt materialism, etc.
We felt a peace that the Lord was leading us this way though, so I was very
encouraged when I saw her response. She printed my letter to her, which
expressed some of the pros and cons we were experiencing, along with our
conviction that this seemed to be, at least in this time and place, the best
option for us, along with balancing views on sending kids to school.
I felt at that time that our situation,
being in a mission field with a difficult culture and language to learn, it
could be perhaps considered differently than someone who was still in the U.S.
or Australia, in that putting children into a regular public school in that
situation would expose the kids to a far greater level of negative influence than
was the case here in Japan. Nevertheless, Mama’s openness and even passing on
the option to others, to me was a very real indicator of her openness to
alternatives.
I first met Dad and Mama in Madrid, 1978, at the time
of the RNR. At the time I’d been a “chain leader,” and was actually wondering
if I should try Africa or Asia, when I was asked if I would like to pray about
helping out in the Pacific. I’ve been asked a number of times by the Folks if I
would like to try a certain ministry or not. Because I have trusted their
leadership and know their motives and love, I have usually felt good about
going for the option they suggested, but not always.
There was one time when I was in
Singapore, when Dad, Mama and Peter were there with their staff for a time.
They had been praying about the oversight of the Homes in the Pacific, and one
afternoon on a walk in a park, Peter suggested the possibility of a traveling
partner I could travel with from Home to Home. This traveling partner was a
very precious man, loved the Lord, and had a lot of gifts and talents that they
thought might complement my own. I thought about it and just didn’t have the
faith that it was what I would feel comfortable to do. So I told them I thought
I’d rather not.
If indeed they were “control freaks,” I would have
certainly noticed strong coercion, displeasure, disapproval or whatever at my
resistance to their pretty reasonable suggestion, but that was not the case. I
considered the matter many years later and wondered in my communications with
them if I had perhaps missed an opportunity for the Lord to have blessed my
work more, but not once have they told me that their opinion or suggestion was
definitely the Lord’s will if I didn’t feel comfortable with it.
As you know, I needed and received a pretty big
correction from Dad back in ’85, when I’d been traveling the Homes as the main
shepherd for the Eastern Hemisphere. At the time, Dad discerned that I not only
had a very self-righteous spirit, but that actually I had other spiritual
problems, that if I could receive deliverance from, it would indeed clean up my
spirit and I would regain my usefulness for the Lord’s service.
At the time, I’d been welcomed into their
Home in the Philippines where I lived for about eight months. I’d been working
as a traveling shepherd for years, but enjoyed working on pubs and helped with
editing a number of publications at the time-Daily Breads, Daily
Mights, etc. The Folks had had me visit a number of times and I’d helped
them here and there since they’d come to the East, but this was the first time
I’d lived for a longer period of time with them since Madrid.
Dad sensed that something wasn’t right in
the spirit about me, and as they counseled and asked the Lord, it became clear
that indeed, through my self-righteousness and other areas I was rebellious in,
I had become a vehicle for the Enemy to come into their Home. Dad corrected me
seriously one evening and said that it’d be good that I get a solid prayer of
deliverance. Most folks have read the story in old Letters, but perhaps there
are a few aspects at that time which weren’t so clear to the reader.
The very day after I received the
correction, I was out in the yard exercising, when I met Dad. He came up and
gave me a big hug and said, “You did good, Honey! The Lord just wants you to do
better!” He was so encouraging and warm, and I have to say, that throughout the
entire time of my being there, that was the case. In praying about what course
of training would be good for me at that time, both Dad and Mama felt it’d be
helpful for me to have a time of penance. This is a fairly normal Catholic
concept, wherein someone makes some gestures to in a way pay for their sins and
mistakes.
All throughout the day, everyone around
me was cheery, positive, helpful and bright as we went about our work, and the
evenings were the same too. The only thing that changed in that period of time,
was that during the time when everyone would get together to relax and have
dinner and dance, I would relax upstairs in my room watching the “Garden of
Eden” videos which I greatly enjoyed, since I’d never had a chance to see them
before. In other words, I certainly wasn’t sent to my room by angry people at
any time.-Folks were incredibly understanding and positive.
Peter at that time mentioned that
although I had lessons to learn, since my prayer, I was a “new creature in
Christ, old things were passed away and behold, ALL things had become new.” He
and Sara went over a number of Word classes with me to help me learn some key
factors in considering the feelings of others around me. One of my weaknesses,
amidst many, was that I’d been pretty pushy and opinionated and not very
circumspect in decision-making. This was very far from the way either Dad, Mama
or Peter had been with me, so they felt that reading some good solid Bible and
Letters on these subjects would help me to move at least a few more steps
towards being more like Jesus. I can’t say that it worked in that I achieved at
all, but I do know that I’m most grateful for the Lord pulling me up in my
tracks at that time and many other times before and since, as my earnest desire
is to please Him and to be a vessel of His love to others.
At the end of last year, I had been thinking of my
daughter’s exciting work in Zimbabwe, of the wonderful work our folks were
doing in Kosovo, and of plans to open up Ethiopia, and I started to wonder if
it might be time to consider a change of field, to move to a place where I’d
get “more bang for my buck,” since working in a non-Christian field like Japan
all these years at times can be a bit wearying to someone yearning to bear more
fruit in the long term as an effective missionary.
I help to do some work for WS, taking
care of some of their mail, passing on communications to the field, etc., so I
wrote Mama and Peter and expressed my question about a possible change of
fields, wondering if they would have any suggestions. Their answer totally put
it back in my court, saying that they know I loved the Lord and that He
wouldn’t fail to lead and provide, and that they would support my decision
whichever it may be.
As it happened, I heard from the Lord
personally and a number of ways to witness effectively locally opened up, and
my mind was made up. The Lord did give me a choice, but His highest seemed to
be for me to stick here where I have learned at least a lot of the culture and
language. Lord knows I’ve got a lot to still learn, but I’ve felt so much
challenge here since stepping back and reconsidering and reconfirming that
that’s where the Lord wants me. But I must say, to me again, Mama and Peter
were very open and in no way dictated what they felt would be politically the
best option. They just don’t work that way.
Contrary to what has been written recently, it’s
clear that both Mama and Peter have taken a lot of time to encourage the Family
to make sure that those who choose to not continue in the Family are helped to
get set up in their new life, are kept in good communication with, and are
encouraged to get established into situations that will help them continue
being useful citizens.
To me it’s a little odd that anyone would
take issue with this, considering the lack of wisdom we had towards those who
chose to leave the Family in years past. If anything, it’s been Peter’s
encouragement to be a lot more open, apologetic, and to have listening ears to
those who have left and who had perhaps had less-than-positive experiences with
shepherds from the past, that made a key difference in our present attitudes.
Dad was sold out for the Lord, and in our
younger years, I would say we were definitely guilty of being rather polemic
and having tunnel vision-lacking awareness of the difficulties those who chose
to leave the Family were facing. It’s been precisely because Peter listened to
so many former members as he traveled, and both Mama and Peter took note of
things that were written them, that they have encouraged us to be far more
conciliatory in our relationships with those who choose to not continue on as
Family members.
As a young person, one thing that’s unfortunate is
that at times over the years, it’s possible that you may have come across some
leadership in the Family who weren’t close to the way we’re all supposed to be.
At times, I’ve personally been a considerable distance from the way Dad, Mama
or Peter are, and regret that. If you read in the Word about consideration,
giving people freedom of choice and a real gentility in shepherding, yet at
times you find you’re under the leadership of someone who doesn’t listen to you
as a younger person or who has an opinionated way of working with others rather
than being simply a team member, I find this very unfortunate, as it leaves
space for you to think that Mama and Peter may well have the same weaknesses.
I have experienced time and time again over the past 22 years
since I met them, an amazing openness and sincere desire to learn how other
people feel. Mama has a fascination for people and spends a lot of time trying
to understand, to listen to them, and I know I have never felt more at home
than I have in their company. Contrary to what has been written, I have found
they encourage individual talents, different types of personalities and have
been far from restrictive in their dealings with people. Mama has continually
had the attitude if some mistakes are made, to not focus on the blame, but
focus rather on finding the solution. She’s preached “don’t cry over spilt
milk” and lived it time and again in counsel she’s given to different ones on
the field, co-workers in WS who make mistakes, in my life personally when I’ve
come short of the goal, and in her writing.
I can understand anyone finding prophecy a little
hard to take. I know that it’s stretching the faith of a number of people. But
on the other hand, to me there is almost no greater proof that the Family is
indeed everything the Lord has said we are destined to be-leaders in the
Endtime. Were we to simply cling to every word Mama and Peter said after Dad
had passed on, or were we to get tighter and more restrictive leadership, then
I would understand feelings that Mama and Peter were controlling things too
much. The fact is, though, and to me this seems the most obvious of all facts
in the whole picture, they have done exactly the opposite of what they’re being
accused of! They have set us all free to follow according to our faith.
If some felt they like some aspects of
the Family but couldn’t really hack the close leadership, they have made
working in the capacity of an FM member a very acceptable alternative. They
have led us away from asking them or other leadership a whole lot, but have
been training us to reach out to Jesus and the help He has given from the
spirit world. If this thing [the Family] be of man, it will come to naught, but
if it be of God, it will stand-as a testimony of those who didn’t claim to be
strong, but who admitted they were weak and in need of Jesus. It will be a
ringing testimony that none of the persecutions and attacks against it over the
years have prevailed. None!
Personally, I’m convinced more each year that what Jesus has
said in the Word all these years is being fulfilled more than ever. I expect
there will be more false witnesses and character assassination attempts. I
expect there will be more who scream “Sex cult!” or whatever the latest rage
is, but I can attest of this one thing: I believe I could never have come to
know Jesus as I know Him now, if it wasn’t for the faithful sample and teaching
of Mama and Peter, after Dad had passed on. I could never have been motivated
to want to have a passion to learn, to reach out, to want to give, if it wasn’t
for the training and Word that we receive each week. Because of all I’ve
received and continue to receive, I wake up with something to live for,
something to give to people, in and out of the Family, a real sense of purpose.
No matter what anybody tries to say, I know what I have seen and nobody can
pull the “I’ve lived with them” phrase out and have any effect on me, because I
have too, and I thank God for all I’ve been able to learn and see, and I wish I
could live closer to it myself.
I love you tons and pray for you during
this difficult time. I know Jesus has His hand on you and your sweet mate and
kiddo, and always will. You’re special to Him.
Let’s stay in touch.
Love, Robin
* * *
UNPUBLISHED
My
Personal Experiences
I’m almost 51 and I’ve been in the Family for over 29
years. That’s over half of my life. That’s a long time, and while there are
some former members today saying that I’ve wasted my life, I can truthfully
answer that the investment of nearly 30 years in the Family has been well worth
everything that I have had to give up to serve Jesus fulltime.
I joined the Family without ever personally knowing
or meeting Dad or Mama. I didn’t join a personality cult, but I made the
decision to serve the Lord in the Family because I felt very strongly that the
message they stood for was something that I wanted to give my life to. I judged
them by the fruit that they were bearing in their service for the Lord. The
same reason I joined the Family many years ago is the same reason that I’m
still in the Family today-because the Family was the most on-fire, soul-winning
group of people I had ever met.
Although the Family has been through many changes
over these 29 years, one thing that I feel has remained a constant, never-changing
principle is the goal to see Mark 16:15 fulfilled, that of living our lives for
Jesus and winning the world with His love. That’s why I’m still in the Family
today, because I still feel that we are the greatest soul-winning organization
around.
I first met Dad and Mama during the first part of
1978 when my wife and I were asked to be a part of some discussions pertaining
to the reorganizing of the work. The Family at that time was going through some
major reorganization in order to be able to do an even better job of
evangelizing the world, but we were also meeting to discuss how to take better
care of those who worked hard to witness to the lost world, the ones that Dad
said were on the tops of God’s list, the front-line witnessers-the
missionaries. We personally met with Dad and Mama almost daily for the two
weeks we were there, and it was easy to see that their loving sample and
concern for every Family member was not just something that you read about in
the Letters. I was able to see firsthand the loving shepherding of Dad and Mama
and come to love them as the kind and sacrificial people that I always knew
they were. Their real life sample of love and concern for the little people was
plain to see.
For the next year I worked closely with them, via letters
and reports, until we moved into a house in close proximity to them where we
stayed for about three months. We had the opportunity to work very closely with
them, as well as the other members of their personal staff. Although I was
going through a particularly difficult time in my life, I received a lot of
personal comfort and assurance as well. There are a few things that stand out
to me that happened at this time, which have stuck with me through the years.
After having listened to a personal message on tape
that Dad had made for me, a talk which contained some personal correction and
instruction, I was pretty discouraged, to say the least. I was discouraged to
the point that I felt that I didn’t have the strength to make the changes that
I knew I needed to make. I knew that I was in need of getting my spiritual life
straightened out, but I really didn’t know what to do. Dad was pretty firm with
me, but I knew it was the truth and that I needed it, and I’m thankful to this
day for all he did to help me.
After asking for united prayer, I was still feeling
pretty down and discouraged about everything, when Dad suggested that I just
relax and not worry about anything and to enjoy the evening by watching a movie
with everyone. I certainly needed this encouragement, and although I had a hard
time relaxing, this has always stuck with me and made me feel loved and cared
for in spite of my shortcomings. A short time after this, while working on a
project, Mama came to check on me to see how I was doing, and her encouragement
to keep holding on and making progress was a help to me as well.
I remember one of the last times that I saw Dad and
talked with him was after having Thanksgiving dinner with him and Mama and the
rest of the staff. It was a very memorable time together and although I had
made a lot of mistakes during the three months I lived close to them, I did not
feel any condemnation from anyone at all. All I felt was love and understanding
in spite of my mistakes. After dinner, Dad put his arm around me and said,
“Son, I’m so thankful to see you making it!” We didn’t have much time to talk,
but those words and his loving actions assured me that I was not condemned, but
forgiven.
During the last almost five years of being a CRO, I
have been working once again closer with Mama and Peter and others of their
staff. While there are some who are saying that Mama and Peter are manipulative
and that they have to have the last say about everything and control
everything, I have to take exception to statements such as this. I have found
Mama and Peter to be just the opposite of manipulative or control freaks. I
have attended various Summit meetings with Peter, some lasting as long as two
months, and I have seen a very concerned and ready listener who sought out our
counsel and opinions on every matter. His and Mama’s concern for the happiness
and overall spiritual well-being of each Family member was very evident by
their desperation to hear from us and get our opinions.
Attending these meetings and seeing once again the
way that Mama and Peter operate through prayer, counsel, and deliberation was
clear evidence that they do not use prophecy as a means to get their own way or
push their own program. I have always been encouraged to speak up and to give
my opinion on anything and everything. During the Summit meetings, we gathered
in small groups on a daily basis where we would take the opportunity to ask the
Lord many questions about practically every aspect of the Family’s mode of
operation. What always stood out was Peter’s concern, like Dad’s, on how to
make things easier for each Family member. It didn’t matter if the point being
discussed went along the Family’s usual way of doing things or not; I never
once felt that I couldn’t freely express my ideas or opinions. In fact, I was
always encouraged to speak up even though maybe I thought my ideas were totally
different than others.
I believe that some former members are confused about
what openness or having an open mind really is. The following example may not
be the best illustration, but maybe it will help some of you who may be
struggling as a result of some of the things that some former members are
saying. I hope it will help you to see things differently by remembering that
every secular organization or business has a set of rules or guidelines that
they operate within. Members of these organizations or employees of these
businesses are expected to abide by their standard if they wish to remain as
members or stay in their employ. If I worked with the Ford Motor Company, I’m
positive that the engineers and production and marketing analysts would welcome
suggestions which could help them build more and better cars, but I don’t think
that they would appreciate it if I tried to stop production of Ford automobiles
because I felt that Dodge was a better car or because the Dodge company’s
method of producing automobiles was better. The latter would lead the
supervisors to believe that you did not like the Ford Motor Company.
I think the Family operates much the same way. I know
for a fact how Mama and Peter operate because I have lived very close to them
at times and visited with them personally and I have been involved in some of
the decision-making process of the Family concerning many things. They are
always very happy to hear from anyone, his or her suggestions on how to improve
the Family and keep it moving forward where everyone can be happy and content
in his or her service for the Lord. I do know, though, that if someone is not
happy with our beliefs or lifestyle to the point that he wants to disrupt or
sway others, then it would be better for him to go elsewhere and “build cars”
in a manner that he is the most comfortable with.
Last year, myself and several others were able to
meet with Mama over lunch when she and Peter came through our area on a short
business trip.
We had the opportunity to discuss many work-related
matters, as well as enjoy some very nice fellowship together. As always, when
we talked and counseled together, the thing that stood out to me the most was
Mama’s concern for the work and for every Family member. The needs of every
single Family member was foremost in our conversation together.
Later, I was able to have some personal time with
Mama in which I was able to open my heart with her. I hadn’t seen Mama for
almost 20 years, so I was quite nervous to say the least. Just as I had
witnessed her concern and deep love for others, I was now experiencing it again
personally, myself, as we talked together. When she put her arms around me and
hugged me I cried a little, but I knew I could open my heart without fear and
that she would handle it with the greatest care. I told her about some of the
difficulties that I was presently experiencing, but I never once got a sermon
or felt condemned in any way, just encouragement to explain my feelings and
that everything was going to be okay. Just as I was taught many years ago when
I first joined the Family, she reiterated once again, how important it was for
me to make sure that I take the time needed to ask Jesus about the things that
I was going through so that He could answer my questions and comfort my heart
Himself.
I can assure you that you have someone who cares very
much for you and who would never think of forcing you to do something you did
not feel was right or do something you didn’t have the faith for. When my son
was diagnosed with leukemia, the letter my wife and I received from Mama was a
very heartfelt and concerned letter, as if she was suffering right along with
my wife and me. Mama expressed her thankfulness that we were able to hear from
the Lord ourselves and thus able to get our directions straight from Heaven.
In closing, I don’t worry that Mama and Peter are
leading the Family by coercion or prophecy to move the Family in the direction
they want, as some former members say. I have seen that this is not true and
their mode of operation, which I have witnessed myself, indicates clearly that
they have a healthy fear of the Lord, are more than willing to counsel and
explore all sides of a question or problem, and are desperate with Jesus to get
His custom-made instructions for the entire Family.
If you’re struggling with some of the things that
some former members are saying, I hope that my positive experiences of knowing
and working with Mama and Peter over the years will help allay your fears. I
also want to once again encourage you to judge them by their fruits. They have
always encouraged all Family members that they can and need to have their own
relationship with Jesus and that each person needs to look to Jesus and not to
them. Contrary to what some say, they are very humble, loving, and fun, and I
enjoy being around them and working with them.
* * *
UNPUBLISHED
Recently I wrote an article for the Grapevine
concerning my visit to Mama and Peter’s Home. I shared there some highlights of
my time with them and with the members of their Home, but I would like to write
more about Mama and Peter and their dedication to each one of us, dear Family.
I hear the statements and accusations of some of the
ex-members, which make me wonder “which” Mama and Peter they visited or know,
as it seems like I’m hearing about totally different people when I read or hear
about some of those truly strange declarations!
Mama and Peter are humans like you and me. They are
people with both weaknesses and strengths. They’re growing and learning, like
you and me. They’re making their decisions and choices each day, and they’re
not exempt from struggles and battles, just like you and me. They use the power
of the Word and prayer to learn His ways in their daily lives, and with all
that is within them, and they try their best to lead the Family as He wishes. I
don’t claim that they’re perfect, but I do know that they’re honest followers
of God’s Word and desire nothing else but God’s best for the Family.
Some of the ex-members seem to believe that Mama and
Peter are in it for money and for control. It couldn’t be funnier to even
conceive such an accusation, but to come even close to believing it is even
more preposterous. And what about control? You can’t be serious! If you know
anything about dictatorship and full control, you must also know that it
usually comes with such qualities as tyranny, totalitarianism, and absolute
rule, which I never found in Mama or Peter’s behavior, nor in my personal
interaction with them, neither in the Letters written by them.
When visiting their Home earlier this year, I had an
opportunity to counsel with Mama as well as with Peter about different needs of
the people on the field. Mama often expressed her concern that there’s not
enough love being shown. She wanted to know what can be done for people to feel
more appreciated, more loved, and she was concerned about it not because of
money and control, but because she truly cares for you and me. She is a simple
believer who is determined to follow God and His Words even if no one else
will. And she’s doing it out of love for Jesus and not in self-righteousness or
her own strength.
Peter is so excited about all that the Lord is doing
in teaching us new ways of doing follow up, and giving more Word to the world
around us. He, too, is a believer of Jesus and His Words. He is not perfect and
he never will be, but neither will you nor me. During my visit to their Home,
one day during a meeting Peter asked me, “What else can we do to help the
Family? What can we give so the Family will be able to do what we’re called to
do-to go into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature.”
If he or Mama were interested in gaining full control
over us and “using us” for money, we would never have those Letters teaching us
about making decisions on our own. We would never have the Charter. They could
just change the leadership structure to a more restricted one. Other worldly
governments/leaders have tried, and they succeed in being totalitarian leaders,
with much fear in the ranks of their people, many restrictions, and much hatred
from the people. It never brought the fruits of joy and peace and faith that we
have in the Family.
Let’s for a moment look honestly at the Word we’re
receiving-new weapons, new directions, new methods. Were you expecting the
Family to stagnate and be the same from the day we started? Were you expecting
that God would get silent and let us still eat donuts and run around in search
of hippies, driving around the States in big buses? Were you hoping that we’d
always be God’s servant and never learn how to be His friend, much less His
Bride? I hear and see many lives changed for the better (including my own)
because of the new weapons. I also hear and see mockers, scoffers, and
disbelievers of those new methods and new weapons. Some ex-members say that
they feel sorry for people like me who use those new methods and who are so
“brainwashed” and have to suffer an “institutionalized life.” I don’t believe
that they’re so smart and I’m so stupid that they can think for themselves and
I am not able to.
From my childhood, I was always very curious about
life, and at a very young age I became very interested in God and His
teachings, His ways of working. Meeting the Family was just another stage of
growth in my spiritual walk with God. I don’t agree that just because I’ve
known God since my childhood that I’m not able to make my own decisions or be
able to see for myself if what Mama and Peter are sharing with us in the Word
is true or deceitful. I have my own personal connection with the Lord, and I
can communicate with Him. I can ask Him things as much as Mama and Peter.
I haven’t yet found things in their teachings that
would go against the basic teachings of the Bible. I have seen, however, many
problematic situations in people’s lives and Homes-which weren’t the result of
Mama and Peter’s wrong leadership methods or the “wrong” Word we have, but
rather a lack of living the Word. We’re in training, and much is required of us
in the spirit, as well as in the physical-but it’s the personal choice of each
one of us. Mama and Peter are very special people who are dying daily to make
our lives better, and I would feel ashamed to ever accuse them of being in it
for money or control.
Let’s play a game for a moment. Can you imagine
yourself being the Devil for a moment? It’s the Endtime. It’s a new millennium,
where the Devil’s minions have received new strength and anointing for the era
ahead of them. The children of God likewise received new strength and anointing
to go forth and perform miracles as never before and to become teachers of the
Word as never before.
Being the Devil, I would shoot where it hurts and
where the damage would be greatest. I know by now that I can’t attack with
accusations and methods I used last year; I need to have some new weapons
myself. I know that many dedicated Family members are in their last stages of
being purged and tested in preparation for the era of action. Many are over
that, and yet many more are fighting battles and could be a great target for
me. How should I attack? I’ve tried doubts, fear, persecutions, financial
struggles. But how about throwing some dirt on Mama and Peter? Not many know
them well; there are many that are already wondering what it’s like at Mama’s
Home. I could strike at them, and at the same time weaken the trust and faith
others in the Family have in the Word that Mama and Peter are sharing with the
Family. I know my days are numbered. I know I’m bound to lose the final strike
on that battlefront, but if I act fast, I can at least slow down the work,
discourage and confuse some, and I can also deceive some and lure them into my
(the Devil’s, that is) words and beliefs. I will never have them fully, but at
least I can use them temporarily.
We are each mature enough people, and those who know Jesus can find the answers to those questions themselves. Read the Bible, if nothing else. If you have questions and you feel confused, call on God.-He is able to answer and is willing to show you the truth. Are you willing to hear and to believe it and act on it? We all know that we’re in the Time of the End, and we know that the struggle over men’s hearts will intensify. It’s not a playground we’re in any more; it’s a battleground, and it will only get more intense. But it will also get more victorious for those of us “who know our God” so we can “do great exploits!”
* * *
I Trust Them With My Life
By Abner, CRO, USA
“Who on this
freakin’ Earth is calling me at 10 a.m. on a Sunday morning?” I muttered as I
stumbled out of bed to answer the phone. It was September 1979. I was working
fulltime in my hometown in the US to pay off debts and raise my fare to go to
the field. I wasn’t in the best of spiritual health (we’ll leave it at that,
shall we?).
Me: “Yeah,
who’zit?” (Most of my calls at the time were from friends who would understand
my grizzly nature, considering the time of day and my current lifestyle.)
Peter: “Hi,
Tom! (My name at the time.) This is Peter Amsterdam calling from Switzerland.”
(Pleasant voice, especially considering the reception.)
Me: “Oh, uh,
hi…uh…how are you?” (When people are nice to you, you tend to try to be nice
back. This was about the best I could muster, but at least it was an
improvement.)
Peter: “Great!
It’s real nice here today. Abi and I were just out this afternoon, and I
thought I’d call you to let you know that you’re welcome to come and join the
Home here in Zurich if you’d still like. We’d be happy to have you.” (I’d
answered a WS want ad some weeks before, and they were looking for a handyman.)
Me: “Hey,
great. Wow. Thanks.” (Repentance starts setting in.)
Peter: “Well, do
you want to go ahead and book your ticket and just let us know? The sooner the
better. We could really use your help.” (Things are looking up, somebody even
needs me. …)
Me: “Sure. I’ll
do that.”
Peter: “We’re
looking forward to meeting you. Dad and Mama said to send you their love, too.”
Me: “Hey,
thanks. God bless them!” (That wasn’t exactly happening to me every Sunday.)
Peter: “Okay,
well, I’d love to chat more, but since it’s long distance I guess that’ll have
to wait until you get here.”
Me: “Okay,
thanks, I’ll let you know my flight as soon as I book it.”
Peter: “Thanks,
Tom. God bless and keep you. Sure love you.”
Me: “Yeah,
right, uh … yeah, love you too…” (I was a bit rusty on some of the love stuff.
See first paragraph.)
With that began
my personal relationship with Peter. I traveled to Switzerland where Peter and
Abi picked me up at the airport. I was coming out of a fairly backslidden
state. My goals were still intact as far as my desire to serve the Lord and
reach others with His love, but my standard was, well, sort of “fluid.” I was
very Americanized. From the beginning, Mama and Peter have never judged me for
my weaknesses but have consistently looked beyond that to bring out the good
that lies underneath some of that corrupt exterior we all have.
I went on to
help at the WIMM (World Wide International Mail Ministry) as a handyman-at
least until I broke more things than I fixed, and so eventually worked more and
more on office work where I was less of a wreck. Peter was actually only visiting
when I landed in Switzerland, as he had been asked to work more with Dad and
Mama, who were in France at the time, and they very much needed his help. This
wasn’t an easy thing for him, as it required him being away from Abi and his
kids. I eventually got mated to Abi and helped raise the kids, while Peter
willingly sacrificed his time with them to do the work the Lord was calling him
to do. Difficult decisions-but that’s Peter!
I later learned
from Mama that it was out of her concern for Abi and her needs that she was led
to ask for me to go to the WIMM, as she had the intuition that I would be a
help to Abi.-And that’s Mama! From my experience, Mama puts the work first and
she helps us in our service for the Lord to put Him first as well, but she is always
concerned about our specific needs and what we’re going through, and desiring
to do all she can to meet those needs. (Later, during a time when I was
separated from Abi, I lived and worked with another precious leader, Robin,
with whom I have great kids and who are all part of my family.)
So from the
very beginning of our relationship, I saw the stuff that Peter was made of, and
he’s been a tremendous encouragement to me. Over the years since 1979, I’ve
worked in various WS units, some closer to the field, some more behind the
scenes. Sometimes we worked near the Folks; other times we were in another
field. Through the years, Mama and Peter have shepherded me through some real
highs and some real, real lows. They’ve seen the best of me and the
worst of me (so far, anyway). They commended me when I was doing well, and
they’ve helped me when I wasn’t.
Sometimes that
help was in the form of correction, and I have to say that I received the
stiffest correction I ever got from Peter. As far as I could tell, I don’t
think there were any holds barred on that one, ha! But without a shadow of
doubt, those words were definitely the “wounds of a friend,” given at great
personal effort. And it was given at a time when he and Mama knew that without
the help, I was about to lose my spiritual orbit and go off into space, never
to be heard of again. I needed help at that time and I needed
correction. And Mama and Peter have always had the faith to give me what I
needed. That’s not easy. It takes a lot of love. Anyone who is a shepherd knows
that.
Some months
later I got a little note from Mama. It’s in a tiny red envelope that I still
carry in my wallet 15 years later. The cover says, “I thank God in all my
remembrance of you. Philippians 1:3” And inside Mama wrote, “Dear Tom (big red
heart), I love you! Thank you for your love, your faith, your
dedication! I admire you for taking the ‘low seat’ and for your yieldedness and
willingness to receive correction and your fight to get needed personal
victories! You’re precious to us and we need you! Don’t give up! Keep going for
Jesus! You’re doing a great work! Love, M.”
You see,
without a doubt, both Mama and Peter have the faith that we can make it. And
when we go through times of breakings or lesson learning, which is all part of
our lives as disciples of Jesus, they are not only there for us, but they also
have perfect faith that we can make it, and truly admire us for our dedication
to the Lord. I’m convinced of that.
I made the
foolish mistake one time of looking into another leader’s notebook after they
had visited the Folks’ house. I thought there might be something in there about
me. (Why on earth would I go out of my way to read something that would have
been said about me? Well, I told you it was foolish.) I didn’t find anything
after all, but it was a serious breach in the spirit for me to do that. Our
life in the Family as disciples following Jesus as closely as possible is a
serious calling. We are called to be a tight Family who can trust each other.
To be looking through someone else’s notebook was a breach of that trust and it
bothered me that I had yielded to that. I knew that I would be hindered in my
spiritual growth, as it was a type of “cigar” coming between me and the Lord,
as the old story goes. So I wrote Mama about it.
Mama wrote me
back a very encouraging reply, once again looking past my sins and seeing the
positive work of what the Lord was doing in my heart. Because I had coughed up
what was not only an embarrassing mistake, but also one that would by all
carnal reasoning cause me to be less trusted, she wrote that she felt that she
could trust me more. Perhaps, she said, not trust me to not peek into another’s
notebook, but to trust me to be open and honest if I did. She saw something
greater that the Lord had done in my life.
The story
doesn’t end there, though. It must have been about three months later when I
was at a meeting with Peter that I asked if I could look at a computer that he
was using. It had some programs on it that he was testing, and so I asked if I
could take a look at it. He was about to lie down for a nap, so he handed me
the computer and said, “I’ve got some open files on it. Just don’t look at
those, okay?” This is to the known notebook peep, ha! But once again, he
trusted that I’d learned what I was supposed to learn from that experience and
that I wouldn’t let it happen again. And to this day, I haven’t. Why? Because
you know when you’re trusted and it makes you fight a little harder to not
betray that trust. (Aside from the fact that I really don’t want to have
to confess that again!)
Mama was
traveling through the area I was in, in order to meet up with Peter after one
of his trips. Rather than staying in a hotel she asked if she and her secretary
could use a camper that was at our Home. I moved it to a local campground where
they stayed. (One thing Mama and Peter do not do is waste a dime of
God’s money!) It rained that night, and I came back in the morning to find Mama
sleeping in a chair in the camper as the roof was leaking in several places. I
couldn’t believe how cheerful she was!
“It’s okay,
Abner! It started dripping on the bed, so I moved over to the side. Then it
started dripping there, so I moved over to this nice cozy chair and I just
prayed against any more drips and slept so well. The Lord kept it nice and dry
here! Isn’t He wonderful?” I mean, it’s one thing to be polite, but she was
just genuinely cheerful and happy and loving Jesus and thankful for the dry
place she had to sleep, even if it was in a chair in a leaky camper. And
you can bet that those wakeful hours at night were spent loving the Lord,
praying for individuals in the Family, or listening to tapes and attending to
her huge mountain of a workload.
When you’re
around Mama in her normal living or work environment, you become aware that she
is totally absorbed in loving the Lord first, and loving and helping others
second. She totally lives to love and to serve. For me, she is the embodiment
of Matthew 22:37-40.
If I could say
anything about Mama and Peter in a few short sentences, it would be this: The
Family could not be in better, more loving, concerned or capable hands. There
is no one that I would trust more to carry the ball across the finish line of
the Endtime, to faithfully follow wherever God leads regardless of the
opinions of men or carnal reasoning. They have unswerving faith that comes from
a deep connection with God, and they have a tireless dedication to the Lord, to
His children, and to those who have not yet found His love. We’ve all seen that.
They are both very loving shepherds and extremely capable executives. (They’re
pretty smart, too, though they’ll just tell you it’s the Lord. It does
take some brains to run such a large and complex organization as the Family
today.) They need and deserve our prayers, our help, and our support. They are
only human, and they are totally aware of their own human limitations. And they
are utterly leaning on the power of God to finish the job.
I trust them
with my life.
*
* *
If That Isn’t Love?
By Bethy, 27, WS
The accusation
that Mama and Peter treat badly those who are not totally “on board” or “loyal”
upsets me, because I have personally witnessed the exact opposite. Not just on
one occasion, but repeatedly over the years. A few instances immediately come
to mind.
One was during
the first two years of the Zine. As a Zine team, we had a ways to go in being
fully united with each other, as well as on board with the way the Family was
going. Although we were living in a different unit than the Folks at the time,
we communicated with Mama frequently due to the nature of our work.
Mama would
approve the work we did, and there were occasions when she would make a change
that some did not agree with or had a question about. Sometimes the letters
written back to Mama explaining the reasons someone did not agree with her were
less than positive and could easily be termed as disrespectful, doubtful or
accusing. This type of thing happened on many different occasions, and it never
ceased to amaze me how loving and sweetly-presented Mama’s replies were. She
always encouraged us to ask her if we had any questions or didn’t understand
why she was making the change she did. On some occasions Mama conceded on our
point, and other times she felt led otherwise and stood by her point.
But she was
always ready to hear us out, and if she didn’t agree with us, she would explain
it thoroughly and very lovingly.
I found out
later just how hard all this was for Mama. It came to a point where she felt
obligated to defend every change to us, and spent a lot of her time doing so.
However, despite continued questions and disagreement with the direction she
chose to go, she was always encouraging and loving and kind in her
presentation, and took her time to explain things to us even when faced with
personal criticisms and questions on her decisions. The fact that some chose
not to accept the answers or the explanations was not Mama’s fault or the fault
of her presentation.
I have on file
forty different long letters Mama wrote to us over the period of a year and a
half. These are not just, “Oh, could you change this word to say that” kind of
letters, but these are all letters of explanation as to why she felt led to
make a certain change, or they are responses to different ones’ letters to her.
Here is a quote
from one of those letters that gives you an example of the way she treated
these differing opinions and questions that were posed to her.
“I appreciated
your bringing up the points that you did, and I understand your thoughts and
how you could feel that way. I’m always glad to hear from you, and I appreciate
your taking the time to write. It doesn’t worry me when I hear ideas or
opinions contrary to my own.-I freely admit that I need lots of help, and I’ll
always pray about it if something comes up that I haven’t already considered.
So don’t hold back on telling me something just because you’re worried about
bringing up a different opinion, because I appreciate it.
“I’m really
thankful that you wrote me. I didn’t consider your letter out of it.-Quite to
the contrary, as you’ll see in the message below, Dad commends you for asking
honestly, he really loves you and is proud of you!-And I agree. Thanks for
being such a blessing and big help to us through all that you do there.”
No one can tell
me that Mama and Peter treat badly those who do not agree with them on
everything. All I have seen is continued patience, love, understanding and
kindness, even when they might have been personally hurt or disappointed by
what people who disagree with them say or do.
z
One time I was
present with my dad [Peter] when a young person explained to him the kinds of
difficulties and harsh treatment they had received in a “Victor” type program
gone-wrong. It was pretty heartbreaking to hear. I looked over at him at one
point, curious as to what his reaction would be, and he was crying. It touched
my heart so much. Of course, it was sad to hear of the harsh correction that
this dear one had undergone, but I was so touched to see my dad so personally
affected by it as to bring him to tears. I could see he felt responsible in
some way and was very saddened that things had reached such a point. With tears
in his eyes, he very humbly asked forgiveness of this young person. Even though
my dad had nothing to do, in my opinion, with the treatment the young person
had gone through, I was so impressed by the fact that he felt personally bad
and asked forgiveness. He didn’t have to, but he did. It’s something I’ll never
forget.
z
It’s been a
great joy for me to be able to see Mama and my dad together. They love each
other so much and they are so sweet and personable with each other. It has been
a great blessing to have had more contact with them in recent years. And to see
them with Trevor and Olivia, their grandchildren, is such a joy! They are
typical grandparents-which means of course, the children behave much
differently around them than they do around their parents, ahem! Well, not to
worry, the Folks just enjoy the children so much. The first time they had the
opportunity to be with both of them together, they wanted to take them “solo,”
assuring Keana and I that they would be fine, that we should take a break and
come back to pick up the kids in a few hours.
After about an
hour, Keana and I, knowing our kids rather well, and being especially
acquainted with the energy they contain, thought we might consider “checking
in” to see how they were getting on. As we got close to the door, peals of
laugher were ringing out, and when we came in, the kids were doing….well, you
know…the things three-year-olds do, and highly entertaining Mama and Peter.
It was just
hilarious to listen to Mama’s account of their time with the children later,
and to witness Mama’s amusement at how much energy they contain. “Do they ever
sit still for more than a few minutes?” was her question. She and my dad had
planned ahead of time what they would do with the children-a plan involving
lunch, story, coloring, etc. All of which was completed in about 45 minutes,
much to their surprise.
As a mother,
knowing your kid is going to be spending a few hours of “quality time” with
Queen Maria and King Peter without you around can be a little unnerving. You
wonder what on earth they will think about your less-than-perfect
three-year-old afterwards. So it was quite a relief to find they were just
delighted with the children and with the chance to spend time with them,
despite the food that had spilled on the table, the marks that had been
accidentally drawn on the couch and the fact that the kids couldn’t sit still
for longer than two minutes for a story. Mama commented, “I need to brush up on
my pre-school skills, I can see.” But they immediately began fashioning great
plans for an outing-although they wisely decided to bring the mothers and perhaps
a “support staff” along next time, ha!
Although we
don’t live in the same unit as the Folks, when we were nearby and whenever
possible they’ve always tried to make special times to see and fellowship with
the kids. Even when they were busy or had to take care of other things, they
would schedule some special time to spend with them. Once we had a big meeting,
and of course the children didn’t attend; however, they had dinner with just
the kids afterwards in their bedroom. They gave them little plastic flowered
“leis” as a gift, which they promptly donned and started their own little
“Hawaiian dance school” in the room. The kids insisted that Grandpa Peter do a
“Hawaiian prayer” for the meal, which he did, much to their delight, actions,
dancing and all. After the meal, they played hide and seek. The kids took turns
hiding and then it was Grandma and Grandpa’s turn. It was so fun for me to
watch Mama scurrying around the room, trying to find a suitable hiding place
while the kids counted from the bathroom. She settled on standing behind the
curtain. Grandpa Peter was found easily, but Mama had to stay hidden for quite
a while as the kids “searched” for her. Finally, this stifled giggle came from
behind the curtain, giving her away, and everyone was laughing when the kids
finally pulled the curtain away. It was so wonderful for me to watch.
Mama and Peter
are so natural and normal, and to see them interact with their grandchildren is
such joy and so fun. They always love to hear any funny stories we have about
the kids.
*
* *
It’s Our Right to Believe What We Wish!
By Dawn (formerly Lois), CRO, Europe
My name is
Dawn-some of you may have known me as Lois. I’m very proud, thankful and happy
to say that I’m coming up to the 30th anniversary of my years in this wonderful Family, next month in
fact!-Quite an achievement, some would say, but I know it’s simply a case of
“by the grace of God stand I,” a testimony to His strength and keeping through
my many times of weakness and desperation over these three decades. And I
couldn’t be more thankful that He has done so!
Thirty years is
quite a stretch out of anyone’s life, and as I’m sure each of you could testify
of your own years in the Family, whether they be many or relatively few-the
Lord really knows how to make each year a whopper, exactly what we need! I have
been through many changes and “revolutions” in the Family. I have been involved
in front-line witnessing and teaching my children to do so, as well as years in
other type of work-secretarial, behind-and-in-front-of-the-scenes, shepherding
of WS units, and most recently the Lord has entrusted me to help with the
shepherding of the Family as a CRO, a responsibility which I am very desperate
about.
Well, these are
pretty tough times we’re living in, times which “try men’s souls” in many ways,
and times in which the battles we’re called upon to fight are getting fiercer
and fiercer. The spiritual warfare we’re engaged in is very obvious to those
who have their eyes opened to what the words and sights and sounds that we’re
surrounded with really mean-and to me they mean that the gauntlet has been
thrown down with a force that it hasn’t until now, and it’s time for us to take
it up with equal force and determination as we fight back.
I recently read
something which a former member of our Family wrote-an explanation of his
interpretation of some past events, the conclusions he’s reached regarding some
of our Family beliefs, as well as his impressions and denouncement of Dad, Mama
and Peter. He’s obviously chosen his path, as he has decided to remove himself
from our membership, and as I have just explained above, I have chosen mine. I
have written a few testimonies over the years on specific subjects or lessons
as they have come up in my life, and you have gotten a peek into some of my
highs and lows through the desperate introductory letter to “Let Jesus Bear the
Weight” and a few other Letters. But this time is different.
I love you, my
dear fellow Family members. This Family is my life, my chosen profession and
dedication, my passion and my calling. I have no doubt that it was our
wonderful Savior and Lover, dear Jesus, who called me to this ragtag band 30
years ago, and I have no doubt that He still wants me to be a part of it today.
And you-each of you who daily make that same decision with me-are part of what
I live and die for. Of course Jesus comes first, and without His wonderful
Words and the channels through which He has chosen to pour it, our dear Dad,
Mama and Peter, we wouldn’t have the Family to live in and for and with, nor to
bring others to. All these things I am proud of and hold my head high when
thinking or speaking of them.
But this Family
is under attack-serious attack. It’s nothing new, as the Lord’s Words and
prophets-and of course the Lord Himself-have been under attack since the
beginning, as Satan the usurper desired to have God’s Kingdom and His children
as his own. I have experienced many different and varied attacks on the Family,
all of which you can read about in the annals of our history in the Letters and
publications, and I have fought back in different ways at different
times-prayer, working on Word compilations, being a part of one of our major
court case teams, and prayer, prayer and prayer again!-And thank the Lord, He
delivered us from each one, whether they were inside or outside attacks-and we
still stand today.
But this
present attack is different-as there will probably be many new and different
methods employed by the Enemy over the years to come-and this one seems to be
hitting its mark with our Family members directly, especially our tender,
vulnerable, very potential second generation. In this attack, the writings and
surmisings of those who proclaim themselves to be “in the know” raises
questions about aspects of things which have been “behind the scenes” for many
years: questions about Dad and Mama and Peter and their true nature, questions
about their motives and character, questions about the sincerity of what we
read about them in the pubs and whether it reflects reality, questions about
the preparation of the Word for pubbing and thus its veracity, and so on.
Theirs are
hard-hitting accusations, and they hit at those who don’t have much to
counterattack with, because those of us who have had the blessing of being able
to personally meet and live with the Folks have been relatively few. I am one
of those, and my experience and conclusions are vastly different from those who
write such scathing and demeaning treatises, so much so that it’s difficult to
believe that we’re speaking of the same people-our King Peter and Queen Maria,
and of course, Dad too!
It’s as if two
people are walking a parallel path, side by side through much of the scenery,
fields and parks and whatnot that they’re traveling through. Their paths veer
off from each other from time to time, and then merge for a time again. And
then at the end of the road, one looks back and describes a journey of horror
and darkness and gloom, while the other describes a path of difficulties at times,
but one in which there were some loving and caring hands there at all times to
help them find their way, and which helped to make the journey one which I’m
very thankful to say continues on today. Well, he told his story, and now I
will tell mine.
My more
intimate relationship with Dad and Mama began around 1983, when they moved to
the Philippines where my husband, Apollos, and I and our children had been
living for some time already. At that time we helped them to get set up in some
temporary housing, and then helped them at various times as their team grew to
accommodate the needs of the services they needed to tend to. Those were
wonderful years of living close to them, of being for the first time under
their direct shepherding, of benefiting from their guidance and closer hand in
our lives, as well as their correction when we needed it. I began at that time
to understand what Dad and Mama and Peter’s shepherding was really all
about-and to describe it would be like trying to describe a rainbow, as it’s so
multi-faceted and beautiful.
Just a little
example: One time I was leaving one of the nearby unit-Homes after an evening
of fellowship with them. It was rainy and a bit slippery, and true to my
goatish nature, I hoofed it out down the driveway by myself, and promptly
slipped and hit bottom hard-being a few months pregnant at that! Apollos picked
me up and I hobbled home, and spent a few painful days with extra padding on my
seat. When Mama heard about it, the response was one of those “rainbow” ones I mentioned,
a bit of everything!
I got lots of
sympathy and compassion, prayer and words of concern, was told to be sure to
rest and not overdo; and then was chided for walking off on my own without
holding on to my husband’s arm, and him for not taking ahold of it as he should
whenever we’re out together, so that we could be a help and support to each
other. Dad’s example came into the picture too, of how this is what he has
taught Mama, and how we should be with each other-the men to be gentlemen and
be there for the women, and the women to allow their partners to be gentlemen
to them.
I could fill
pages with such examples, and maybe I will some time. But with 17 years to
cover from the time I began to know the Folks more personally, I’ll have to
limit it this time. But perhaps a brief summary of some of the events and times
and situations which stand out to me over the years will help to paint the
picture a little more clearly of what this journey with them has been for me.
z
Around 1985,
during the time of the “wind down” of WS, Peter met with my husband and me to
explain how they felt the Lord was leading for some of the families in WS that
had children who were getting older to move to the field, that this would help
to better meet the growing needs of the children, as well as help WS be able to
better concentrate on their projects for the Family. This was a big change for
us, leaving friends and loved ones, stepping out after years of
behind-the-scenes work to the “unknown” of field life, including the decision
of whether Apollos and I would go together or how it would all work!
The Lord had
given me a verse as I was praying before meeting with Peter, which prepared me
for the news he was going to share. Peter didn’t know of the Lord’s preparation
of my heart, and it was obvious that it was very difficult for him to break the
news to us-in fact, it was very painful for him, anticipating that it would be
a very difficult heartbreak for us. His tears and honest and sincere compassion
meant more to me than anything could have, and I knew that his heart was one
that truly fit the description of rejoicing with them that rejoice, and weeping
with them that weep. I have seen this time and again from not only Peter, but
from Dad and Mama too, as after all, Peter was their “student,” and this was
the sample and heart he had seen and learned from them.
z
Mama helped me
greatly in the transition the Lord asked me to make from being a
behind-the-scenes, shy and withdrawn secretary to someone with shepherding
responsibilities. This first came about as I was asked to accompany some of the
ambassadors (Abi, Juan, and Gary), as they held delegates meetings for training
in different parts of the world, followed by the TTC in Mexico. As unaccustomed
and disliking as I was of any kind of public speaking, or even much one-on-one
shepherding, Mama went very slowly and patiently with me. She never condemned
or berated me for my hesitancies and fears, but rather encouraged me not to
worry about it, to just be myself, and that others had seen enough of the big,
strong vocal leaders, and it would do them good to see someone a little meeker
and milder, who nevertheless the Lord could use.
Her own sample
has been a great encouragement to me in this regard, and I have never seen her
condemn or look down on others for their weaknesses or lacks. In fact, she has
tremendous understanding and compassion on the weak and on those who battle,
truly seeing herself as weak and needy of the Lord’s help in every area, as
nothing without Him, and she reflects the faith that the Lord is capable and
desirous of helping us all.
z
I saw the
Folks’ patience, mercy, and forgiveness extended to me many times, both during
times of battling with my besetting weaknesses and sins such as self-righteousness,
as well as after some serious blow-its. Once we were preparing a series of
newspaper articles for a major local newspaper, and I worked on finalizing
corrections and last-minute changes before they were sent to the Family members
who would submit them to the newspaper for printing. One day Peter came to me
asking if I for sure had sent the final draft of the last article, and if so,
why had the Family member who received it questioned something which was
supposed to have already been corrected? And lo and behold (and woe is me!), I
had sent off one of the rough drafts instead of the finalized one-a very
serious mistake considering it was for a broad GP readership!
But I received
mercy-a little sad shaking of the head with a thankful sigh that someone had
caught it-and that was enough for me to have some very desperate prayer time
with Jesus, asking His forgiveness and help to be more on the ball and sober
and prayerful, and never do that again!-And did someone else take care of the
final draft the next day?-No, everything continued as it had, except for a much
more serious and prayerful secretary, and a greater understanding through the
mercy I’d received of what true unconditional love and trust really means.
z
Over the years
that I lived and worked with Dad, Mama, and Peter, I have been involved to some
degree or another in their praying or counseling about many different people
and situations. I can never recall them speaking or counseling about someone in
anger or with any feelings or terms or expressions which would indicate that
they didn’t like a person, were upset with them, had any motives of vengeance
or harm, or anything like that. I have only experienced and felt their love,
concern, empathy, sympathy, and deep desire to do all they could to help,
whether it was by being able to understand a person or situation better and
thus being able to give the counsel that was needed; hearing from the Lord for
or about them; and of course praying for them and asking the Lord to work in
lives and hearts as needed.
I’d like now to
move on to more recent years. Perhaps one of the most difficult times for all
of us was the persecution years beginning in 1992. In Europe during those
years, we suffered raids on our Homes in Spain and France, as well as a major
court case in England, which raised the question of whether our Family is a
safe environment in which to raise our children. During much of that time I was
involved with the court case battles in one way or another-at times living with
those working on the case and being immersed from morning till night in the
many details of it, at other times visiting and meeting with different media
and legal teams about situations that had arisen, reading and writing reams of
material about every aspect of the case and the various accusations which were
thrown at us.
That time was
one of those “crisis of faith” times for me, when because of the accusations
which were hurled at us, which I was forced to read because of the need to pray
and counsel with others about them, there were many different angles of our
life and beliefs which I was confronted with which I hadn’t formerly
considered. These were questions and criticisms about things which I had taken
by faith these many years, questions which had previously never entered my
mind, and accusations which sent the mind spinning with a completely different
twist on things that I had previously believed with pure childlike
faith-accusations of things such as child abuse, mindless adherence to a “cult”
and “cult leader,” brainwashing, etc. So in the midst of trying to battle for
the Family, I was faced with questions about my own faith and future, and knew
that I had to reconcile these things with myself and the Lord.
So I did a lot
of praying, rereading of the Word, studying and researching those things that I
had taken with such faith and innocence before, to see if I still believed them
in the face of these criticisms and contradictions. And in the end I made the
decision that I did, that they were truth, that they were based on Scripture,
that the spirit and fruits I’d seen in the Family were undeniable, and that it
was worth fighting for.
I’ll come back
to this reference point a little later, but in order to keep up with the
chronological order of events of my personal experiences and interactions with
the Folks, I’ll go on to another of my major battles, a few years later, when I
again hit a low point. This was the time of “Let Jesus Bear the Weight,” when
“troubles just tumbled about me and heavier came each task.” My letter to Mama
and Peter at the beginning of that GN explains how low in faith and trust I had
become, and their response was again a sample of their love and concern and
true shepherds’ hearts. Peter came all the way from wherever he was to meet with
me and our teamwork, with the main goal being to help strengthen me and to
present me with a choice-to either grab ahold of the Lord’s strength and grace
and learn to let Him bear the weight, thus being able to continue on with
helping to shepherd the Family, or to let it all go and take an easier route of
serving the Lord in a less strenuous capacity.
What I didn’t
realize until Peter was with us for a few days was that his making this trip to
meet with us was actually during the time of his and Mama’s honeymoon
together! He had just received his new commission from the Lord and Dad, he
proudly and humbly (at the same time) showed me the ring which was previously
Dad’s but now on his finger, and told me that the Lord had put him and Mama
together! Wow, what news! And here was I, being a “problem case,” resulting in
calling Peter away from their honeymoon to baby-sit me!
Well, was I
ever humbled when fully realizing the scope of their love enough to bend over
that cliff to rescue this poor lost lamb. That’s the love I received from them,
and this love is what I have seen as the motivation behind their decisions and
actions time and time again-that of unselfishly, sacrificially and lovingly
serving the flock, their fellow servants and mates in this Family that they
love.
A few months
after this incident when Mama began explaining in the Letters about how the
Lord had put her and Peter together and had called and anointed Peter to be our
king, I must somewhat ashamedly admit that I had a battle about it at first. I
knew Peter fairly well and loved and admired him greatly. I had the blessing of
working with him on different occasions over the years, and had been in
meetings he’d held, counseling sessions and so on. Nothing had ever come up
which would cause me to doubt his sincere love for the Lord and the Family, and
his desperation to shepherd, lead, guide and serve us well.
But still, I
was shaky in my initial acceptance of this change. Why?-Probably just because
it was different, and because Peter wasn’t Dad, and because I had lived 15
years with Dad as our king-in other words, I was in a rut. But when praying
about it, I remembered the sacrificial mission of love and mercy that Peter
(and Mama by agreement and proxy) went on just to love and rescue me, to give
me the opportunity to see through the fog that I had allowed to cloud my
vision, that I might see clearly again in order to make a knowledgeable choice
regarding how to proceed with my life.
I owed them
much, as I’m sure I would have regretted a choice that would have been less
than the Lord’s highest for me. And realizing what love I had received brought
me to the conclusion that even if Peter isn’t Dad, I can accept him as the
Lord’s chosen, for the Lord’s love through him and Mama had proven their anointing
and right to royalty-our servant king and queen. I don’t know, maybe I’m such a
weak vessel that the Lord had to engineer these circumstances to give me proof
of Mama and Peter’s love and to help me have faith that they are truly the
Lord’s chosen channels. But if that’s what it took, I accepted it gratefully
and humbly, and my faith has never been disappointed.
z
A year or so
later, I have a similar story to tell-this time not of Peter coming to help me,
but of me being invited to their Home for a time of rest and re-strengthening.
Letting Jesus bear the weight didn’t come so easily for me, and on top of the
continued workload which we had, I began struggling with the use of the gift of
prophecy-not the doctrine or theology of it, but with my personal gift. I just
didn’t seem to have it, and when all around me were receiving direction and
answers and guidance through their gifts, mine seemed to grow dimmer and
dimmer.
I had written
to Mama about this and told her of my battles, and again the reply was one of
love and faith that the Lord could and would do it, and then reaching out her
hand to help pull me up. (You’d think by this time that they’d have come to the
realization that maybe I was just too weak to hold any training or input or
investment of time and attention they might give me, and just let me be. But
that’s not their way-not with me, and not with any of their children, as far as
I’ve seen.)
So I spent a
wonderful three months with them, months which confirmed everything good I had
ever heard about them, and decried every lie that had been uttered, including
those that are presently being circulated. As I used the illustration earlier,
living with Mama is like watching a rainbow grow and take its shape and form
and color, and then watch as it maintains that fullness and completeness on an
everyday basis. Mama is concerned about every aspect of the Family, the
Family’s members, their hearts and lives and families, ups and downs, battles
and victories, as well as the bigger picture of the Words that are being
received and going through the stages to be sent to the Family, different
projects in the works both in WS as well as worldwide. You name it, Mama is
concerned and in prayer about it, and wants to make sure it’s right.
Those three
months I was privileged to have many conversations with Mama about a large
range of topics, and I was amazed at her capacity to hold so many situations
and people and projects in her prayers and attention and concern all at the
same time. Mama listened to every letter that came in to her, and many times
our conversations were taken up largely by her desperate prayers for the ones
who had written and their situations, that the Lord would give His help and
answer their needs and prayers and bring victory-and of course, that He’d speak
and give His Words of comfort and love or guidance and counsel. I saw (or
rather heard of) Mama’s weeping through the night when reading the
heartbreaking letter from the young woman whose letter prompted the “Jesus Our
Good Shepherd” prophecies. No one was too little or unimportant-if their cry
came before her, Mama was concerned for them.
Mama’s patience
with me through my prophecy battles was a great help to me. She truly is that
little girl of faith that Dad spoke about, who helped inspire and encourage his
faith many times simply because she believed, and she continues to do the same
with each of us today. Some of the accusations I have read about Mama are
horrendous and ridiculous, and if there was any inkling of truth to them, I am sure
there would be many more testimonies and outcries that we would have all heard
about, and I’m sure I would have seen at least some hints of it during my
visits and times with them. It’s sort of like the search for the “missing
link”-if evolution is true, we should be knee-deep in’m!
But from my
personal experiences as well as what I have observed to be their reaction and
responses to others, I have seen only love and patience and compassion, and a
very prayerful balance of shepherding and trusting the Lord to work in people’s
lives. They were there when I needed them, there for me just as they are for
you and everyone in our Family. I’ve seen their love and concern. I’ve seen
Mama weep over letters she has received, heart cries that have caused her sleepless
nights. I heard firsthand of her reaction to tragedies such as the Austin
accident-such love and concern for her flock, and such a desire for the Lord to
work and strengthen them, and to hear His answers and guidance for them.
Some have
accused Mama and Peter of being “control freaks,” of wanting only conformity to
their wishes and desires, to what they believe the Lord gives through them. But
the love and concern I saw is not control-it’s tender loving care. Does a
mother “control” her children? Does a mother’s love and concern and care
translate to “control” to those who love and need her?-Sometimes, as with some
it can be misdirected that way. But I don’t believe this is the case with Mama
and Peter. As with the example of Peter’s visit to help me, they put forth
clearly my options, and the decision of which path to take was up to me.
z
I have also
read accusations about myself-and about you too, by the way-that we are
unthinking and naïve, that we have abdicated our right to choose in place of
trusting Dad, Mama and Peter, and that we unquestioningly believe and obey
whatever they say. Well, I would take exception to being called unthinking and
naïve. I don’t think anyone who has been in the Family this long would be so
without having put some thought and prayer into it, and without being aware of
all the possible reasons why he or she shouldn’t! Ours isn’t an easy religion,
as we all know. There are many difficulties and battles, both physically and
spiritually. The Lord and the Folks have continually asked us to count the cost
and to evaluate our status in the Family to make sure it accurately reflects
our faith and actions.
There have been
several points in the Family, such as recently with the call of decision to
sign the Charter Membership contract, where the Folks basically said, “As of
this point, there are no longer any Family members. If you want to be one, you
have to sign up!” Those of us who signed certainly had to think (and pray!) to
do that, especially as the contract included a list of the Charter Membership
guidelines that we were agreeing to!
I don’t find
any lack of thought or naivety there, and in fact the goal of the S2K, as well
as other times of shaking the tree previous to that, was to only have those on
board who were fully aware of what they were in the Family for, and fully in
agreement.
And at this
point I’ll go back to the crisis of faith which I explained earlier, during the
time of persecution and the different court cases we were embroiled in. That
time of re-evaluating what I believed in, as difficult as it was and as close
to the brink I was as I looked down, served to set a stronger rock underneath
me than had ever been there before. I looked the issues in the face, as well as
the fruit of Dad and Mama’s shepherding of us all, and decided that in spite of
the difficulties and problems, which I didn’t deny, I was still sure, beyond a
shadow of a doubt, that the Lord was in it and that He was continuing to be a
very real and involved part of the Family. The Family was His “baby,” and our
continuing to follow the radical lines He’d directed us down, in spite of the
System’s persecution and disdain, only assured our continuing to stay in the
center of His will and plan.
I hope you, my dear
mates in this wonderful Family, take similar affront at such accusations
against our intelligence and the decisions of faith which we have consciously
and purposely made. It is certainly our right to believe what we wish, no
matter how crazy or foolish it may seem to some. Isn’t that part and parcel of
what we are called to as Christians? “I am become a fool for Christ’s sake!”
(I’m sure you can quote many others along similar lines!)
Am I unthinking
and naïve just because I choose to believe that which someone else doesn’t or
can’t? I would hope not, although we know we shouldn’t be surprised that such
accusations are leveled against us more and more, with greater and costlier
repercussions. “If we have run with the footmen and they have wearied us, what
shall we do in the time of horses?”
z
The second part
of the accusation I mentioned above, that we have abdicated our right to choose
in place of trusting Dad, Mama and Peter, and that we unquestioningly believe
and obey whatever they say-well, in a sense that’s true, and for those of us
who have chosen this path of CM membership in the Family, we have done so
knowing and understanding what it means-“with full consent.” I have no problem
with giving over my “right to choose,” my right to discern what is true and
false, to the Lord’s choice of Mama and Peter as our prophets and shepherds.
This is what I knowingly and with full control of my faculties choose-what I
believe to be their anointing and inspiration as the Lord’s mouthpieces for us
in these End Times.
Were God’s
people in the pages of the Bible unthinking and naïve in giving their full
faith and obedience to the guidance of the Lord through Moses? (It was those
who didn’t who were in trouble!)-Or Noah (same answer!)? How about David or any
others of the Lord’s prophets for their times and places? Why should it be any
different now?
And why should
the radicalness and differentness of some of the messages which we are
receiving today cause us to waver or doubt, or to proclaim that they are false
prophets spewing out a mass of weirdnesses? “Did God Make a Mistake?” covered
it all very well, the story down through the ages of prophet after prophet who
were given unorthodox messages and means of getting God’s point across, proving
that God is certainly not bound to our limited and conventional means and
mindsets!
z
But the other
side of this “abdicating my right to choose” and “unquestioningly believing and
obeying whatever they say” is that I can speak up, I’m encouraged to do so, and
I most certainly do! Mama and Peter, taking into consideration that they are
the Lord’s prophets and His chosen shepherds of our Family, are incredibly open
and have made it clear that they welcome and desire our comments, thoughts,
observations and feelings. About what?-Anything and everything!
I and the other
CROs have had the blessing of being able to receive some of the New Wine in
rough draft form before it comes out to the Family, particularly some of the
series which will have a major effect on the Family such as the “Loving Jesus”
series and the “Law of Love” series. We have been asked to prayerfully read
them and to submit any questions, comments, reservations, possible reactions
from our Family members, and anything we’d like to contribute. You might ask,
“Well, if prophecy is prophecy and the Lord is guiding us through that, then
why ask the opinions of others, and how can Mama possibly change something that
may be in question if it is the Lord Who gave it?” I’ve asked that question
myself.
But I’ve seen a
wisdom and openness and relationship with the Lord in Mama which goes beyond
merely taking dictation and proceeding without question. Mama takes her
“winetaster” role very seriously, and in order to be able to see and understand
all angles of a situation, she often employs the help of others-a very wise
thing to do! And I am sure that each one of us who has ever been asked has been
very desperate to be a “wise counselor” to her.
And as far as
“unquestioningly believing and obeying whatever they say”-well, as I explained,
we can question, just as can you. Mama has encouraged legitimate questions, and
has encouraged the shepherds of the Family (whether Continental or Area or
Home), to help direct anyone with questions to the appropriate answers in the
Word, or to ask the Lord for the answers if none can be found. You and I are
also free to ask questions directly of Mama, and these are also welcomed.
But there does
come a time when our role is to “unquestioningly believe and obey whatever they
say”-or rather whatever the Lord gives them. This is the proverbial “bottom
line,” and the point of faith that each of us must have in order to be a
Charter Member-that we “believe that David was God’s Endtime prophet and that
Maria is God’s chosen and anointed successor, who has inherited David’s mantle
as God’s prophetess.” (From The Love Charter.) This is my belief in the
Lord’s calling and anointing upon them and in the Words the Lord gives through
them. And as such, I choose to follow where the Lord leads them, as I certainly
trust their channel more than my own-both because of the fruit I’ve seen the
Lord’s Words through them bear, as well as because of the experiences I have of
them being truly motivated and loving and sincere shepherds and followers of
our King.
It’s simple arithmetic,
if you believe the spiritual principles upon which the theocracy of the Family
is founded. Such following of the Word doesn’t detract from our Charter rights
to hear and find the Lord’s will for ourselves and our own lives. It’s just
that as Family members, one of the things we believe and adhere to is that we
have a spiritual king and queen, prophets who hear from God, and who we look to
for our guidance through this ever-darkening world.
But I
understand how it’s so easy, once the filter of faith is knocked askew
somewhat, to see things in a totally different light than when looking through
spiritually seeing eyes. What we see and believe in the realm of the spirit is
a very delicate thing-it’s there and it’s real and it’s so precious, to be tended
and nurtured with great care. But there are so many things which can spoil it
or cause it to dim or even be lost completely-compromise; bitterness and
resentment; pride; the admittance of pollutants such as System attitudes and
values which go contrary to the Word, but which can seem so logical and right;
not standing up for our beliefs in the face of mockery and criticism, thus
weakening our conviction by accepting the shame in our beliefs that people
place on us, etc.
It could be any
one of these things that has caused the path which some of our former members
describe to sound so different than the one which I have experienced during my
years in the Family. That’s not to say that it’s been without its battles and
trials and disappointments at times. But the truth stands sure-and I’m standing
up too. I’m standing up and proclaiming that I’m putting my lot in with the
Lord and His guidance of this Family through our loving Dad and Mama and Peter,
and with the future which He’s moving us towards. The day of march has surely
come, and I am thankful that I can say “I am not ashamed; for I know whom I
have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have
committed unto Him against that day” (2Tim.1:12).
*
* *
Yes, I’m Proud of Our Family!
By Francis Fisherman, 31, Mama’s Home
Hi! I’m Francis
Fisherman. I’ve been living in Mama and Peter’s Home for about five years now,
and was in another WS unit for a year before that. I work closely with Mama and
Peter, and with Peter in particular since I assist them with matters that
concern the administration of the Family. I also oversee the production of our
GP materials, the Activated program, marketing of our tools, and related
projects.
I wasn’t born
in the Family, but my parents joined when I was three, so I was raised in the
Family almost my whole life. I’m 31 now, so I don’t know whether I still
qualify as a “young person,” but I still feel like one, and I still think like
one in many ways. I can certainly relate to and identify with the SGAs who may
be younger than me, but who share the same common background and heritage.
I’m writing
this in response to the letter that James Penn (Phil) wrote with his thoughts
on the Family, our doctrine, leadership, WS, and Mama and Peter. I lived with
James for a year prior to coming to Mama and Peter’s Home, and communicated
with him a fair bit after that on work-related issues, until his decision to
leave the Family a year or so ago. I got along well with James, or Ray as he
went by at the time, and he was fun and interesting to talk with. So knowing
James, it saddened me to read the accusations that he put in his letter,
especially those against Mama and Peter. It was just hard to believe that this
was the same person that I knew and lived with. He’s very logical and a good
debater, but the bitterness was just too obvious in his writings. People
change, I guess.
I can
understand James’ and other former members doctrinal differences with the Family.
A lot of people disagree with Loving Jesus, the use of so much prophecy in the
Family, the Law of Love, etc., and that’s just fine with me. I don’t really
care what other people think about those things and whether they think these or
other Family doctrines are right or wrong. The way I look at it, if I’m going
to believe in something, I believe in it not because other people agree with me
or not-but because I believe it to be so, because examination of the
facts, and what I feel in my heart, convince me that it is so. Those who
disagree are entitled to believe what they want. We’ll find out in the
afterlife who was right and who was wrong, and we can sort it out then. I don’t
care for theological debates that much actually (other than for the purpose of
witnessing and getting people saved)-I’m mainly concerned with whether I’m
doing the best thing that I can do with my life here on Earth. The belief stuff
we can sort out when we get to Heaven.
Don’t get me
wrong, here. I’m not saying that I don’t care about the Family’s beliefs and
doctrines, and that I don’t believe them. I do believe in them strongly. But I
don’t like debating doctrine, because faith is a personal conviction, not
something that can be resolved through debate and logic. If it was always
logical, then it wouldn’t be faith, “for hope that is seen is not hope” (Romans
8:24). All that to say, I’m not going to get into that here.
But the things
James and others have said about Mama and Peter really upset me, because I live
with them, and have lived and worked very closely with them for the past five
years. James hasn’t lived with them for many years (I don’t know exactly how
many, but at least eight or nine), nor even worked that closely with them via
mail for the five years that I’ve been in this Home, so I don’t know how he can
pass himself off as an authority on what they’re like. If anyone’s an authority
on Mama and Peter’s character, it’s those of us who have lived and worked with
them every day in recent years.
So I feel
compelled to write up some of the true “inside scoop” of what life is
really like here and what Mama and Peter are really like and what their
leadership is like. I not only live in this Home, but I teamwork with Peter
closely. (I don’t interact with Mama as much as I do Peter, but still a fair
bit-and I did more so a couple of years ago when helping her with various pubs
projects.) As such, I’m privy to a lot of information about how the Family is
run, what decisions are reached by Mama and Peter, how those decisions are
reached and the prayer and reasoning behind them, the communications that go
out of here, etc. I’m not trying to boast, but I think it’s helpful to explain
that I’m pretty in the know about what goes on here, unlike some people who
claim to be, but aren’t!
Let me explain
a few things about myself. I don’t consider myself to be a very spiritual
person. I love the Lord, I believe in the Word and the Family, but I’m a very
pragmatic, down-to-earth type of person. I like to deal in facts and figures,
not feelings. I’m a lot like a number of other SGAs I know, in that I’m quite
analytical and I like to look at things as logically as possible. I like to be
convinced about things in my heart, and I don’t just accept things at face
value. I’m a far cry from the “unquestioning believer and obeyer” WS stereotype
that James tried very hard to portray in his letter. C’mon, James, I thought
you knew me better than that.
In fact, I’m a
bit of a tough nut, and if you thought that Mama and Peter only live with
people who are blindly yielded to anything they say, and ready to do anything
just because they say so, then if you knew me you’d probably wonder what in
God’s Earth am I doing in their Home, much less working closely with them? I
wonder that myself sometimes, ha! For one, it’s because Mama and Peter don’t
care to surround themselves with “yes men” who are just going to
unquestioningly follow their every word without raising a peep! And I’m living
proof to that. (Oops, there went another of James’ theories.)
At the same
time, as I mentioned before, I have learned that there comes a time when I just
have to make a decision whether or not to believe and accept something even if
I don’t understand it and can’t reason it out. That’s called faith. I’m faced
with that sort of decision from time to time. Some of the things that the Lord
has shown Mama and Peter, like the Loving Jesus revelation, or so much use of
prophecy, have not always been easy for me to understand or accept. Some of
these things I couldn’t reason out in my mind completely. So I’ve had to make a
choice to accept those things by faith because I believe that Mama and Peter
are being led of the Lord and they’re hearing from Him, or else believe that
they’re either making this stuff up or being duped by the Devil. That’s really
what it comes down to.
Fortunately for
me, I have an advantage in that I know Mama and Peter very well. So when it
comes down to that decision, it’s not a difficult one. I logically examine each
of the possible options:
1. “They’re just making the Lord’s Words up as
part of their master strategy plan to get us to follow their delusions:” For
that to happen, they’d have to be pulling the wool over my eyes and the eyes of
a lot of other people in our Home. Pretty impossible, if I might say so. I live
with some folks who I consider pretty intelligent and sharp, both FGAs and
SGAs. I have a real hard time picturing them as mindless. If you don’t mind, I
have a hard time picturing myself as mindless too, ha! Also, Mama and Peter
would have to be somehow sending me subliminal messages so that when I pray and
hear from the Lord myself, unsolicited by them, and ask the Lord about things
in the GNs, what I get from the Lord confirms what they got. Sorry, I don’t
believe in magic mind manipulation, at least not my mind-not to mention
everyone else’s here.
2. “They’re being duped by the Devil into leading
the Family astray:” If there is anyone who I know loves Jesus with all their
heart, it’s Mama, and Peter too. I never met Dad personally, but from reading
the nearly 3,000 Letters that he wrote, regardless of what people accuse him of
or what mistakes he made, I could feel an unquestionable love for and devotion
to Jesus. And I feel the same from Mama and Peter. I’ve seen it day after day
in countless examples. They’re always praising Jesus, thanking Jesus, talking
about Jesus, pointing me to Jesus-their lives are full of Jesus. I don’t even
think our bitterest enemies could accuse Dad and Mama of not lifting up Jesus.
So how could the Devil be promoting so much Jesus in my life? It doesn’t make
sense. So I can very easily eliminate this option.
3. So that leaves me with option 3, which is that
they are being led by the Lord and His Spirit. It’s the only explanation left.
So I believe it, and I trust them. I’m reminded of the verse, “Beware lest ye
be found to fight against God.” If it is the truth and I resist it and find out
I’m wrong later on when I get to Heaven, then I’ll be sorry in the end.
One thing I
know for sure is that I don’t have the same love and devotion for Jesus that
Dad did, and that Mama and Peter do. I love the Lord with all my heart and try
my best to serve Him, but if I’m honest with myself I know it doesn’t match
theirs. So who should I trust to be right about whether something is from the
Lord or not? Should I trust myself, or should I trust Mama and Peter? I’d much
rather trust them, because I know they’re closer to Jesus than I am. I see it
in their daily lives. (I’m certainly not going to trust James and what he says,
because I don’t know much about his love and dedication for the Lord, nor have
I seen the fruits of it recently; rather to the contrary, sadly.)
And if I’m
having a real hard time with something, like I did with so much emphasis on
prophecy at the beginning, or even with certain specific prophecies, here’s how
I look at it: I trust Mama and Peter because of the sample that I’ve seen in
them of dedication to Jesus and lifting up Jesus-not themselves, but Jesus. But
even if-worst case scenario-we get to Heaven and I find out that Mama and
Peter were wrong, and that it was all made up or a delusion, and that the Lord
never told them to hear so much from Him in prophecy, and that the Loving Jesus
revelation was just their own imagination, that the Law of Love didn’t originate
from Heaven either, that the prophecies in the GNs were false, what is Jesus
going to do? Is He going to punish me for trying to hear from Him more? Is He
going to be upset at me for trying to love Him more with all my heart and mind
and even body? Is He going to berate and cast me out for trying to be a sample
of His love to others by sharing sexually with them? C’mon, let’s be real here!
If He would, He’s not the Jesus I read about in the Bible, so I might as well
throw the whole thing out and become an atheist!
So as you can
see, even when looking at things in a totally logical analytical way, I figure
it’s a win-win situation! Not that we should be looking at things analytically,
but occasionally when my faith has been tested and tried, it has helped me to
break things down like this and find that indeed I am doing the right thing by
placing my trust in Dad, Mama and Peter.
So in writing
about Mama and Peter, and the accusations that James (and others) make against
them, my comments are built on the foundation that I trust Mama and Peter.
That’s really what it comes down to in the end, doesn’t it? Now James might say
that I’m just following blindly, but trust is not blind acceptance. Rather,
trust is something that is built up over time as a result of events or
interaction in which you know the person to be truthful, honest, loving, and
worthy of that trust. My experiences in the Family for years, and then living
and working with Mama and Peter, have resulted in that trust being built up. It
was not an overnight thing, but rather came about as I saw firsthand their
sample of love for Jesus, and became convinced of their love and concern for
the Family and for the lost.
I think it’s
that last point that has made the biggest impression on me. I have had a lot of
discussions with Peter about Family policy, or certain situations, and he
always shows a great deal of concern for each Family member, and how such and
such a policy is going to affect them. He makes it clear that our job as
leaders in the Family is to serve the folks in each Home, to help them fulfill
their calling of serving the Lord. Yes, I am a servant. But I’m not a servant
to Mama and Peter, even though I work for them. Ultimately I’m a servant to
Jesus and the Family, and that’s what Mama and Peter are too. You know the
Letter, “Without Love It’s Nothing”? Well, the love and concern that Dad shows
for the Family in that Letter expresses very well how I’ve seen Peter
operate.-And Mama too, of course. I’m just talking more about Peter because I
work with him more closely than I do Mama. His sample is very convicting in
that regard.
It’s very
evident in the regular counsel meetings that Peter and Matthew and I have
together that Peter carries the responsibility of co-leading the Family with
Mama very seriously, and it’s a heavy weight on his shoulders. He and Mama do
it because the Lord has given them this job and they love Him and don’t want to
fail Him, and because they really care about each Family member. I know from
talking with them that their goal is to give their lives so that we all can
serve the Lord better. As a result of their sample, that has become my goal as
well.
But I know for
a fact that they would not want the job if it was just for their own benefit or
gratification. I see what they do, I know what their job entails, and believe
me, as young and ambitious a person as I am, I would not want the job. It’s a
horrible weight! Just the knowledge that about 13,000 people around the world
are looking to you for direction and the Lord’s Words, plus the practical side
of running such a multi-faceted organization such as we have in the Family with
the needs of so many different people to consider-children, parents, singles,
single parents, teens, outside sheep, catacombers, etc.-is frightening! And
then on top of it to have people attacking you for it and persecuting you! I’m
amazed that they don’t have a nervous breakdown! I guess it’s just their faith
in the Lord that He’s in control.
Speaking of
Mama, I have never in my life seen someone work as hard as she does. She is a
living example of a shepherd laying down her life for the sheep (despite James’
claims to the contrary). I consider myself to be a hard worker, but I don’t
hold a candle to Mama. Her life is her work, and her work is 100% devoted to
helping the Family, answering people’s questions, going over the pubs, praying
about and for situations that need help. I like to take days off, have fun,
play games, watch movies, etc., but she doesn’t do any of that-well, hardly ever.
I wish she would take more time off! I have to admit that at times it’s even
bothered me that she works so hard, because in my pride I’ve felt that I have
to match that, and I can’t. It would be interesting to calculate exactly what
her daily average of work hours is, but my estimate from living with her is
around 14-15 hours a day, 7 days a week. No matter what she’s doing, she’s
almost always got a taperecorder going and is listening to some work.
So what’s my
point? My point is, why in the world would anyone work as hard as Mama with so
little in return? She and Peter are well established as the leaders of the
Family, just like Dad was before them. She could work less than half as much as
she does now, and the Family would keep on going and serving the Lord without
hardly a hiccup. So why do it? For money? I happen to know a bit about the
Family finances from working with Peter, and I know that what comes in goes
back out in services to the Family. So no money. Even our enemies know that.
For power? Just to feel in control? Just to get people’s adoration? People in
the System do push themselves very hard to get that sort of thing. But in
Mama’s case that logic doesn’t fit, because she could have all that with much
less effort on her part. If her motives were selfish, she wouldn’t push herself
to the limit for the Family like she does. Besides, she’s always pointing me to
Jesus, trying to get me to hear from Jesus personally, not to go to her for the
answers to things, but to go to Jesus. That’s not a “cult of the personality,”
it’s a “Jesus cult,” ha! I am therefore convinced, both from her words and her
deeds, that what motivates her is Jesus, pure and simple. Love for Jesus,
obedience to Jesus. “The love of Christ constraineth her.”
Here’s an
example of this: There have been a couple of times over the past few years when
I’ve asked Mama about cutting down on the number of GNs that we send out to the
Family. Not because I feel there’s anything wrong with the GNs, but it’s a heck
of a lot of work to get them all out! It takes a real toll on Mama, as well as
on a few other very dedicated souls in our Home who help her. Plus it costs
money, is more work for the NPCs, etc. What do you think Mama’s answer was each
time we discussed it? “What about the folks who are having battles about
such-and-such and need some counsel on that subject?” “What about the parents
whose kids have left the Family and are in need of encouragement and are
desperate to know what the Lord has to say about it?” “What about the young people
who are faced with questions on what to do about such-and-such?” “What about
the bad samples in our Homes that need to be addressed and corrected so that
they can reflect more the spirit of Jesus?” And so on. My thoughts were,
“They’ll get by on a little less-let’s slow it down.” (Now aren’t you glad that
Mama doesn’t listen to everything her counselors tell her? Ha!) But her
response was along the lines of, “But if it will help them, shouldn’t we give
it to them while we have it beside us to give? Why wait if they need the help
now?”
There are so
many different people in the Family and each has different needs, and Mama
tries as hard as she can to receive (through Peter and her channels in our
Home) and pass on the Lord’s counsel on those issues. And sure enough, we get
back responses to each of those GNs from someone, saying how much it helped
them and came at just the right time. And as far as Mama is concerned, if it’s
even just for that one person, then it’s worth it. And there’s no one making
her do it except the conviction of the Holy Spirit in her heart. To me that is
unquestionable proof of her love and devotion to all of us, and the purity of
her motives.
James says that
Mama and Peter are, and I quote, “abusive, controlling, manipulative, self-centered,
deceitful, and callous leaders who were willing to do just about anything to
save their reputations and preserve their image.” He says that he reached this
conclusion after years of living and working with them years ago. I didn’t live
with them years ago, so I can’t speak for then. So maybe five years ago, when I
moved into their Home, Mama and Peter had a miraculous conversion from being
horrible people to the very loving and concerned people that I’ve known-and
continue to know-them to be. Likely? I think not.
As far as being
willing to do anything to preserve their own image, that’s an easy one to
disprove. If there was anything that risked destroying Mama and Peter’s image,
it was the Loving Jesus revelation. If they were selfish and concerned about
keeping the Family under tight control, being of good reputation, etc., then
publishing that revelation was the stupidest move they could have ever made.
And they’re far from stupid-even those who disagree with them can attest to
that. I was with them when they published the Loving Jesus revelation and
talked with them extensively about it (unlike James, who was not living with
them at the time). I even argued in favor of postponing publishing it for the
Family because I didn’t think that people could handle it. I have to confess
that I was more worried about their reputation than they were. But they were
convinced it was from the Lord, and therefore chose to “obey God rather than
man,” regardless of the consequences to their leadership or reputation. I
personally don’t know anyone else who would have had that kind of courage.
That’s why I’m proud of serving Jesus with them. They don’t compromise for
personal gain, no matter what the cost.
And the result?
Sure, some people left the Family over the Loving Jesus revelation, but our
stats show that the Family’s population is still growing. 1204 disciples, not
counting babies born, have joined the CM Family since the LJ revelation was
published. Interestingly enough, that’s a 25% increase over the 5 years prior
to the LJ revelation, when only 964 new disciples joined the CM Family. (I use
CM stats in this example because people joining the FM Family wouldn’t even
necessarily know much about the LJ revelation.) James, on the other hand,
affirms that “no adult in his right mind joins the Family anymore these days.”
So in case you didn’t know it, all of you who have joined the CM Family in the
last few years are not in your right mind. So maybe you were brainwashed into
joining the Family. Oh yes, I forgot, sociologists have disproved brainwashing.
Uh, let’s see, maybe you were love-bombed? Oh, right, we don’t allow sex with
new disciples anymore, so scratch that one. Let me see, could it be that you
joined the Family to serve Jesus? No, certainly not. No one in their right mind
would want to serve Jesus, right?
Back to LJ.
Despite the fact that some have left, I’ve read hundreds of responses from
Family members around the world saying how much it has helped them. Last year
we conducted an anonymous survey of 600 Family members (16 and up) in South
America, and 98.4% said that they accept or believe in the LJ revelation. And
79.9% said that they practice it personally in some form. In addition, 88% said
that the LJ revelation has had either a “great” (55.7%) or “some” (31.5%)
improvement in their relationship with the Lord. So, were 600 people lying? To
claim that a few might have fudged their anonymous questionnaire I would
accept, but 600? To what purpose?
So the numbers prove
that the LJ revelation has had a positive influence on the Family. Sure it’s
radical. I don’t understand it all myself. But who cares? Do I want to be
closer to Jesus? Yes! If loving Jesus intimately will help me reach that goal,
then so be it! And like I said earlier, if it turns out when I get to Heaven
that I was deluded, I know the Lord will give me credit for trying anyway!
James says that
“Maria and Peter have debased the wonderful gift of prophecy. They have twisted
and manipulated prophecy to serve their own ends and control the Family, so
that it is difficult to believe any of their prophecies … destroying its value
by printing too much so that it becomes worthless.” He uses the analogy of a
currency losing its value through overprinting. The problem with that analogy
is that the reason a currency devalues when a government prints too much of it
is they don’t have enough gold or other hard assets to back it up. And unlike
gold or precious metals, Jesus never runs out; there’s an unlimited supply of
Him. Therefore, it’s not possible to dilute the value of prophecy, no matter
how much of it is used or published. To say that prophecy can be diluted is
tantamount to saying that Jesus is limited in His capacity to speak, or that
He’s not as all-powerful as we believe Him to be. That strikes at the very
heart of Christian belief.
As far as
manipulation through prophecy, when I first started out hearing from the Lord
more, Mama was more involved. I wasn’t used to hearing from the Lord about
everything, and I needed a lot of prodding and encouragement. I also needed to
learn how to hear from the Lord-mostly about really clearing my mind of my own
thoughts in order to get the Lord’s mind on the matter. Mama was a good
teacher. But she didn’t dictate what I should be getting from the Lord. In time
I became more used to hearing from the Lord about things without her having to
remind me. Now, when a work question comes up that I’m responsible for, I go to
the Lord and ask Him for His answer. Mama doesn’t even know about most of those
prophecies because they are about minor issues regarding my day-to-day work and
decisions. That’s a far cry from
manipulation. There have been a couple of times when Mama and Peter have given
me prophecies that talked pretty straightforwardly about my NWOs. They were
difficult for me to receive. But the reason is not because they were untrue,
but because I’m a proud guy and it’s sometimes hard to admit to myself the
areas I need to change and grow in. Were they using prophecy to manipulate me
or berate me into submission? No. They could have sat down and told me the same
things in their own words, but instead someone had prayed and gotten it from
the Lord. What difference does it make? It was true either way.
What about the
accusations of the total control that Mama and Peter exercise over those in WS,
and by extension, the Family? That they suffer no dissent or difference of
opinion? Over the years that I’ve lived with Mama and Peter, I have had quite a
few differences of opinion with them. I’ve discussed a lot of issues with
them-little issues, big issues. I’ve always found Mama and Peter willing to
listen. It’s one of the things that amazes me the most about them, their
willingness to listen despite being very, very busy. They never blow me off.
Three or four
days ago, Peter was getting ready to go on a trip and was very busy with
last-minute prep. Despite that, he took about two hours to talk with me about
some things. In the course of our conversation I asked him a couple of pretty
heavy questions regarding past Family policies. Most people would have been
very hesitant to ask those questions. It’s no credit to me that I did ask-it’s
just that I know Peter (and Mama) well enough to know that his response would
be prayerful and loving, not defensive or retaliatory, not cutting me down or
accusing me of being “disloyal” or “unyielded.” He encouraged me to share my
heart, answered my questions, we talked about it and discussed it. I made some
suggestions that someone who was used to “being kept in line with a great deal
of fear” (as per the “Gospel According to St. James”), and who was used to
being “manipulated, controlled, bullied and belittled,” would not in a million
years have dared to make! But Peter took it in stride and was very open to what
I had to say, and we talked about it quite openly.
If there’s one
thing that Peter and Mama have encouraged me in the most, it’s to share my
heart with them about things that bother me, things that I have questions about
or I don’t agree with. Just in that conversation Peter and I had a few days
ago, he again asked me to please be open with them about anything that’s on my
heart.
So, far from
being closed off to what others have to say and trying to control them and
their actions, Peter and Mama are extremely open to others. In fact, they are
some of the least sensitive people I know in that regard. I think most people,
myself included, would have a hard time with all the suggestions and
constructive criticism that they get-not to mention the unconstructive
criticism from those who dislike them. I don’t think I could take it like they
do, much less encourage it. They are shining examples in that area.
That’s not to
say that they always agree with what everyone says. Like I said, I’ve had differences
of opinion with them, and we discuss things together and pray about them. I (or
others, as the case may be) make my proposals of what I believe should be done,
but the final decision is theirs. Sometimes they’ll go with it but sometimes they don’t. And that’s their
prerogative as the top leaders with the ultimate responsibility for the effects
of their decision.
It’s the same
in any company or organization, and there’s nothing evil or sinister about it.
A company CEO will consult with his VPs (vice-presidents) and advisors, but
when it comes down to it, he has to make the final decision and bear the
responsibility for it. And once the decision is made, the VPs’ responsibility
is to make sure that decision is carried out to the best of their ability. If
it’s a big decision that they feel is wrong, they can appeal it, and if the CEO
stands firm in his decision, they can resign in protest if they choose. It’s
the same with me. There have been times (though not often), where I didn’t
agree with the final decision. But I know that I’m not always right, and just
because I don’t agree with something doesn’t mean that it’s wrong. I’ve learned
to trust the Lord in these cases.
A perfect example is the LJ revelation-I was
worried that the Family wouldn’t handle it and it could even cause serious
division in the ranks. Time showed the contrary to be true.
James writes,
“I sometimes wonder how many Family members are sincerely proud of all the
Family’s present-day beliefs and practices.” Well, I am for one! The Family has
its faults, and there are things that I would like to see change, and that are
changing. We’re learning as we go. Show me something better and I’ll go there.
But so far no one has shown me anything better. So, yes, I’m proud of what
we’ve done and what we’re doing today for Jesus. And to be honest with everyone
reading this, no offense intended, but I don’t really care whether the other
12,999 members are proud of the Family or not.
I’m not proud
of the Family because 12,999 other people are proud of the Family, I’m proud of
it because I know for a fact that despite our many faults and mistakes, we are
trying to serve the Lord the best we know how, to be a sample of His love, and
fulfill His commandment to “go into all the world and preach the Gospel to
every creature.” And, if you don’t mind, speaking to my peers in the Family,
that’s why you should be in the Family too. If the accusations of some former
member make you ashamed of being in the Family, then please go do something
else with your life.
If as James-the
new self-appointed spokesperson for Family SGAs-claims, “Many, especially SGAs,
have consciously decided to ignore the doctrinal weirdness and simply use the
Family infrastructure to carry out ‘Consider the Poor’ ministries,” then please
go use someone else’s infrastructure instead. If all you need is
infrastructure, there are a lot better ones than ours out there, with a lot
more people and money to help you do what you want to do. (Of course, if James’
claim was true, then why don’t those SGAs who leave the Family and who say they
feel this way join some other groups? I haven’t heard of any joining the Peace
Corps, Red Cross or some similar outfit.) Sorry, I don’t mean to be harsh, but
that’s honestly how I feel about it.
That’s not to
say that I’m so super strong and have never thought of leaving the Family.
Actually, I have battled with leaving the Family a number of times. But it
wasn’t because I thought what the Family was doing was so wrong and that I was
going to “escape” and do something better with my life. I might have used that
as an excuse, but inside my heart I knew that the reason I was thinking of
leaving was because I wanted to live for myself for a while, make some money,
do something a little easier than “laying down my life for the brethren,” take
a break and see what the System was really like.
I am convinced,
however, that despite whatever problems, difficulties, sacrifices or oddities
living in the Family may present, the Family is the place for me. And I can’t
think of any two people more dedicated, prayerful, in love with the Lord, and
concerned for each and every Family member than Mama and Peter. I gladly stand
by and support them as the Lord’s appointed Family leadership, and I can
testify to seeing this anointing manifested daily in their loving care for both
you and me.
*
* *
They Are My Friends
By James, Mama’s Home
I joined Dad
and Mama’s Home in January 1992. Until that time, my main ministry in the
Family had been witnessing, and I had spent most of my time on different
mission fields. I had always considered myself a field person and loved to be
on outreach. In November of ’91 I was invited to help out at a Summit Meeting
doing staff work, and right after the meetings were over I was invited to WS. I
thought that I would be going to another unit, but to my surprise I went
directly to Dad’s Home! At that time it was unusual for someone to go directly
to the Folks’ Home from the field, but there was a need at the time and I was
available, so off I went.
Before this I
had never seriously considered going to WS, and I didn’t really know what to
expect. I guess I was expecting the Home to be very tight, full of rules and
do’s and don’ts, but was relieved to find out that I was wrong! There were
actually less rules and schedules than almost any Home I had ever been
in! It was a small Home, only about 12 at the time, but we all pitched in and
worked together well. There was a lot of unity, and we had a lot of fun.
I started
working closely with Dad right after I got to the Home. We were staying on a
farm at the time, and Dad was involved with a number of handyman and
farm-related projects, so I began to work with him on a daily basis. Even after
we left the farm, I continued working closely with Dad right up to the day he
passed away.
It’s hard for
me to explain what it was like being with Dad, and knowing and working with him
closely. He was a father and a friend to me. He was young-spirited with lots of
new ideas, but he was also the voice of wisdom and experience and a real sample
of prayerfulness. At first I was quite nervous about meeting and working with
him, but after the first day or two my fears quickly vanished. I felt very
comfortable with him and enjoyed being with him. I’ve often thought about what it’s
going to be like when we meet the Lord. I think we’re going to find Him so
loving and warm and we’re going to be so comfortable with Him that we’re going
to want to be around Him all the time! Well, that’s kind of the way it was with
Dad. I loved working with him, going out with him, sitting in his classes, and
just being with him.
When I think
about my times with Dad, many different experiences and stories flood my mind.
For example, just a few days after I joined the staff, Dad and the other handyman
were working on a building project and they wanted to get an early start, and
Dad invited me to join them if I felt up to it. So I showed up bright and early
in the morning and ready to work. Dad was a bit surprised as he thought I was
going to sleep in. (Both Dad and Mama have always been concerned that we get
enough sleep and rest.) Dad told me that I didn’t need to get up so early, and
then he said, “Son, contrary to what others may think, this is a voluntary
army.” Meaning that he didn’t want me to feel pressured, or feel that I had
to work if I was tired and needed to rest. There was a genuine concern and care
for people, that no one was overworked or didn’t get enough rest.
At the same
time we worked hard, but a lot was left up to our own initiative. When we were
given a project to do, or if we were responsible for something in the Home,
then we were expected to pray and come up with ideas and to do it. The Folks
wanted people to think for themselves; they didn’t want to have to tell us how to
do every little thing. They wanted us to see the need and respond, and they
wanted it to come from the heart. And that’s the way the Home was run; everyone
was expected to take initiative and do their part.
Dad also had a
lot of faith, but he was understanding of others who didn’t have as much faith
as he did. I remember how I needed to hammer a nail into a wooden frame that
was adjacent to a large pane of glass. I was afraid that the glass would
shatter or crack from the vibrations, so I was gently tapping in this nail and
being ever so careful. Dad was there watching me do this, and after awhile
said, “Son, let me do that.” And he took the hammer and boldly pounded the nail
with just a few strokes and the glass was fine. Then he just laughed and said,
“You see, you just need more faith!”
Another time I
was painting the outside of the house and Dad was holding the ladder for me. I
had to paint the top edge of the house, so I had my paint bucket on the top of
the roof. Dad suggested I balance the bucket on the top rung of the ladder, as
it would be closer to me that way. So I tried it, but I wasn’t so sure of doing
it that way, as I was afraid that the bucket would fall. Dad right away noticed
that and said, “Son, you’re the one that’s painting, so put the bucket wherever
you feel comfortable with it; it’s according to your faith.” And that’s the way
Dad was, he would sometimes give ideas and suggestions, but he expected us to
operate according to our own faith.
During the last
couple years of Dad’s life, his body had grown quite weak. He especially had a
hard time walking long distances as he would become weary quickly. His mind was
very much alert and he would still want to go places and do things, but his
body just couldn’t keep up with his mind. So towards the end we would push Dad
around in a wheelchair, and that way he could get out and about and not get
tired. He never did lose that pioneering spirit!
Anyhow, Dad was
always trying to improve things and find a better way, and he wasn’t afraid to
try something new, even if it seemed a bit wild. So talking about wild ideas,
he had the idea to replace his thin wheelchair tires with thick mountain bike
tires, so he could have a smoother ride. It wasn’t easy to do this, as the
spokes and the hub were all different, but after a few modifications, we
succeeded. The only problem was that the mountain bike tires were a bit higher
than the original ones, so the back end of the wheelchair was slightly raised,
and the seat sloped downwards a bit. But we decided to go on a test ride to see
how it would work.
It was working
just fine until I hit a dip in the road, which caused us to come to an abrupt
halt-and because of the slope of the seat, Dad went sliding right off the front
and landed on the ground! I just stood there, dazed and shocked, as I felt Dad
must’ve been hurt for sure. But he just calmly said, “Well, Son, are you going
to just stand there, or are you going to help me up?” As it turned out, Dad
wasn’t hurt at all, and actually thought it was quite funny. He used to joke
with me about that afterwards and say things like, “Why did you throw me off
the wheelchair that day?” That’s another thing I liked about Dad, he had a
sense of humor.
But perhaps
what I remember most and liked the best about Dad was his outgoing love and
concern for others. We in the Home felt and experienced this love, but it
wasn’t just with us, he was that way with others too. When we took him out in
the wheelchair he would always be kind to people he’d meet and was a faithful
witness as well. I remember in particular this one elderly lady who we kept
running into. She was quite poor and Dad would always say hi to her and give
her a small donation, and make her feel loved and special. She loved Dad and
would just light up whenever she would see him. But there was a period of a
couple of months when we didn’t see her.
Then one day we
ran into her again at a small café. Dad was so happy to see her and right away
asked me for some money. Then he got out of his wheelchair, which took a lot of
effort for him, walked over to this lady, put the money in her hands and gave
her a kiss on her cheek. I was watching the lady’s face, and immediately tears
came to her eyes (and mine as well), as she was so touched that this man would
be so sweet and loving to a little old nobody like her. But that’s the way Dad
was. Everyone was important to him, and he seemed to be extra loving and sweet
to those little nobodies who really needed love and encouragement.
Shortly after
this, Dad passed away. This lady was so sad when she heard the news and asked
us if she could have a picture of him to remember him by. She then prayed with
us and received the Lord in her heart.
After Dad
passed away, I remember wondering what would happen to our Home. I always felt
that Dad was the radical one; he always loved change and doing new things. Mama
was the more cautious one, and I thought that things were going to be boring
without Dad around, ha! It’s funny when I think back about those things now, as
Mama definitely inherited Dad’s mantle and there have been lots of
changes!
Things have
changed after Dad passed away, just like the Lord said they would in all those
“New Day” prophecies. Our Home, and WS in general, has changed a lot since
then. For one, we have a lot of young people in WS now, and they sure make our
Homes fun and exciting. I can’t imagine what WS would be like without them! But
our Home, and the other WS units, had to change and adapt when we started to
take in young people. We couldn’t operate the way we had in the past, because
if you know young people, they need change and variety and excitement in their
lives. It’s not like we didn’t have fun before, but it was different with just
FGAs in our Home. FGAs can sit for long hours at their desk and find
fulfillment and challenge from their work, but SGAs need more than that. They
do very well with their work, but they generally need more changes, activities,
fellowship, etc., than the FGAs. So our WS Homes have changed a lot over the
last five or six years.
Sometimes I
hear things that some former WS members have said or written about their life
in WS, and it really makes me wonder. Some of these people I know, but I also
know that they haven’t lived with Dad or Mama and Peter since I’ve been on the
staff, and that’s going on nine years now! To me it’s like someone saying,
“Yes, I know about computers, I used to work with them ten years ago.” Well, a
lot has changed since the days of 286’s! And if you haven’t continued working
with computers, then you have no idea of the progress and incredible changes
that have taken place, and how the computer world is very different now than it
was back then! It’s like these guys are living in the past, and they don’t
really have the scoop of what it’s like now.
That’s one
thing that I love about Mama and Peter-they’re probably the newest bottles of
us all! They’re always willing to try and do something new, which is evidenced
by all the changes and new moves that have been happening in the spirit. But I
must admit that some of these changes have been difficult for me as well. The
“Loving Jesus” revelation and some of the New Wine was hard for me to swallow
and receive at first. But I feel I have an advantage over a lot of people in
the Family, because I know Mama and Peter well, and have lived and worked with
them for years now. I know how much they love the Lord and how sincere they
are, and how desperate they are to follow Him closely. I’ve seen how prayerful
they are and how they don’t make a move without making sure it is the Lord’s will.
So it’s easier for me to trust the Lord and accept these things, because I know
the “source.” It’s easier for me to trust that the fruit will be good as I know
the tree.
I‘ve often felt
if people could know them like I do, it would help to alleviate or erase any
doubts or questions they may have. I sometimes feel if I was still on the field
and I heard some of those accusations about Mama and Peter and WS, I wonder how
I would receive it. I’m no spiritual giant, and I could easily get hit with
doubts or questions and begin to wonder if those things are true. It’s just the
Lord’s mercy that He placed me where I am, and I’m very thankful for that. But
I also feel it’s a responsibility, because very few people know the Folks in
such a personal way like I do, so I feel I need to speak up to help set the
record straight.
It’s as if you
have a close friend, and this friend is being accused of all sorts of things,
but you know that these things they’re being accused of aren’t true, as you’ve
lived with that person and have known him for many years. Wouldn’t you feel
that you needed to speak up on their behalf?
Well, if you didn’t, I wouldn’t consider you much of a friend.
Well, Mama and
Peter are my friends, and I know them well. Not only have I lived with them for
years, but I’ve also worked closely with them. I feel I can talk to them about
anything. I often share my thoughts and ideas with them, and I come up with
some pretty wild and far- out ones, but I don’t hesitate to share them even if
they are kind of wild, as I know they’re very open to ideas and suggestions and
they believe in counseling. And I appreciate their counsel very much. I know
that they will prayerfully consider and discuss and pray about issues, and I’ve
learned over the years that they’re usually right.
I’ve gone on
different trips with both of them. I was able to travel with Peter on his
visitation trips to both the Far East and to South America. For the past
year-and-a-half I’ve helped to shepherd their Home, so I’ve been in many meetings
with them and in close communication with them. I know how they work and I know
how they are. I know how they treat people. And this is what I like the best
about them-the patience and love and faith that they have in people. They’re
very concerned about each and every one of us. They live their whole lives for
us. Nearly every waking hour Mama is either listening to tapes, or going over
the pubs, or praying and discussing with different ones, doing all she can for
us. Peter is also constantly pouring out and holding meetings and doing all he
can, to the point that he often becomes weakened and worn out physically.
I’ve been in meetings where they’ve talked
about personnel, and I’ve been amazed at how much patience and love and faith
they have in people. Sometimes I tend to feel frustrated about people or
situations, but the Folks seem to have an unlimited amount of love and
patience. But their love and concern pays off, and it’s manifested in the lives
of those who know them well. A number of people have joined the staff and a
number of others have visited over the years, and I think they can all testify
that their lives have been touched in a special way. I look back to how some of
the young people were when they first joined our staff, and how they’ve grown
and matured and have become so deep in the Lord, and it’s a beautiful thing.
They’re happy and fulfilled and doing a great work.
Sure, Mama
encourages us all to pray and hear from the Lord and use the new weapons, but
again that’s part of her love for us. She knows that if people do that, then
they will be closer to the Lord and will be happier too. And I can also testify
of that from a shepherding viewpoint. When people do get on board, they’re more
inspired and have more joy of the Lord. They still have battles, of
course-everyone does-but they hear from the Lord and He speaks to them
wonderfully and gives them words of comfort and guidance and encouragement, and
shows them the path to victory. And as a shepherd, that makes my job a lot
easier, ha!
On the trips
I’ve gone on, I’ve seen individuals or Homes or even areas who weren’t so on
board, and I’ve seen that these same ones were uninspired, and struggling both
materially and spiritually. Whereas I’ve been to places where people have
really tried to live the Letters and I’ve seen His blessings on their lives and
Homes. So of course the Folks encourage us all to get on board and do our best
for the Lord, as they love us and they know that this is for our own good and
benefit.
When I first prayed about writing this, the Lord
reminded me of the story of the blind man in the Bible who was healed when
Jesus put clay on his eyes and asked him to wash in the pool of Siloam (John
Chapter 9). The Pharisees who were there saw the miracle, but they still accused
Jesus of being a “sinner,” and they tried to persuade the people that He was
not even of God. But to the man it was obvious by the good that had happened in
his life that Jesus was a prophet. I have seen miracles of good fruit happen in
my life and in the lives of many others, so it’s quite obvious to me that Mama
and Peter are of the Lord. And I hope the experiences that I have shared with
you will help to give you a little clearer picture of what it’s like living
with them.
* * *
Our Queen and King of Humility
By Dora, Family Care
I’m
reminded of a project we recently worked on for our children: “Mama’s Childhood
Memories.” We had asked Mama to recollect memories of the time she grew up, so
that our Family children would have the opportunity to get to know how she was
as a child growing up, and thus relate to her on that level.
Mama dictated
quite a few stories, and just days ago we sent the project to Thailand so that
it could be printed there for our children: a beautiful volume of Mama’s
childhood memories, decorated with beautiful art matching the time period Mama
describes. I think it will be a treasure for our kids.
In the last
story, titled “A Cemetery Story,” Mama tells how when she was about 11 or 12,
she liked to go to an old cemetery, a favorite spot where she would take some
books with her and read. She tells how she enjoyed being alone with Jesus in
her “magic garden,” as she called it.
Mama says:
“One time when I was in the cemetery reading and thinking about things, Jesus
told me that I was someone special to Him because I liked to be alone with Him.
I had no idea that I was going to become Mama and lead the Family! Isn’t it
amazing how God can even use little people, little children, and help them to
be someone special for Him? You’re special to Jesus, too, and He loves to talk
to you, too. So keep listening to Him, and keep reading His Word so you won’t
miss anything that He has to say.”
I think our
kids will really enjoy that book of her childhood memories, and of course it’s
meant for them. I enjoyed it too, and the above paragraph is my favorite part,
I think. For two reasons, one because I like how Mama takes the focus off of
herself and instead reaches out to help others, even with the things she’s
experiencing. I like how she tells these stories in this volume and yet she
thinks of the kids who are reading them. She doesn’t tell the stories to
glorify herself or draw attention to herself; she wants it to be of help to
others. The other reason why I really like what Mama says in that paragraph is
because it reminds me of when I was younger and having that “feeling” of doing
something special when growing up.
At age 26 I
joined the Family, and two years later, in August 1978, I met the Folks and
began living with them for the next nine years. Mama and Dad shared their daughter with me and let me experience
loving a child as if it were my own. But this is not really a story about
myself; I just wanted to give the background picture.
Back to the
cemetery story: Mama looks at herself as a little one, but her love for Jesus
is what makes her great. The first time I saw her she was walking next to Dad,
coming towards me across the big back yard at the Swiss house in 1978. I
thought she was so young, so bouncy and bubbly, and not really as shy as I
imagined her to be. Knowing of her shy side, Mama makes herself be outgoing, which
is quite humbling for her. Dad and Mama greeted me and just took me into their
personal family circle, and I lived close to them till 1987.
I got to
know Mama as a mother, wife, shepherdess, work overseer, manageress, and as a
friend. I treasure and respect her as our queen and I hold her dear for the
sample she has been to us of someone who’s given her life to the One she is in
love with, to let Him be the One leading and directing the Family. I would
describe her as very focused. I liked that about her. At the time I lived with
the Folks, Mama oversaw much of the publication side of things. Dad had trained
her in that area. Mama is a hard worker and a good manageress. I’ve often
admired her for how diligent she is with details.—I’ve sometimes even felt
impatient, thinking she was too into getting it “just right!” If she wouldn’t
have answered the Lord’s call in her life, I could imagine her as a directress
of a great successful company, very much interested in making sure her
employees fulfilled their obligations. And so, as head of the Family and as
head of WS, dear Mama likes to see her “employees” (if you will) fulfill their
obligations: our Family’s obligation to be missionaries to the needy world, and
WS’s members to fulfill their obligation to serve our Family missionaries! We can see from the recent GNs and moves of
the Spirit that Mama and Peter, as present-day heads of this Family, are very
much interested in helping us be what the Lord wants us to be: to service this
dying world, to break the box and let the gold of His treasures flood the
world, to seek out the lost and feed them with His Word.
My personal
goal is to continue to follow where the Lord is leading dear Mama and
Peter. I know He’s using them, and I
know He speaks to them, because I know they’re very desperate with Him. They
are small in their own sight, but they know they have an amazing God by their
side Who shows them the way.
As for
Peter: I always liked him as a person and a man, and I really like him being
our king! I know what it costs him to fulfill the responsibilities the Lord is
asking of him! Thank you, Peter, for your yieldedness to Jesus which is rooted
in your love for Him, to be by Mama’s side and spearheading this work. It must
not always be easy and I am sure you have your share of trials, but I thank you
for giving them to the Lord and seeking Him for the solutions.
I’ve lived
with Peter for many years in the Folks’ house and have experienced some of his
ups and downs. It was always extremely easy to talk to him and discuss things
with him. I would often think of him as my “big brother,” because I felt
whatever I was going through—lessons the Lord was trying to teach me or
mistakes I had made and needed help with—he had been there, he’d understand and
be able to help me. Peter wasn’t lofty or up on a pedestal; he was “one of us”
on the staff doing his job and being a help to Dad and Mama.
There’s a
beautiful picture in a HTK Jeremy drew of Peter sitting with Jesus enjoying a
glass of wine—I think it’s in “Peter, the Water-bearer!” Peter looks so good,
hearty, kind of rugged, and very human! That’s what he is, a man touched with
the feelings of our infirmities, and that’s why I’m happy he’s our king, and a
mate, counselor and helper at Mama’s side!
I love you,
Mama and Peter! Thank you for following Jesus in your personal lives and giving
your lives daily to hear from Him and help show the way!
* * *
A Letter to Our Wonderful Family
By Joan (Endureth), CRO, ASCRO
I have been in the Family for about 27 years. Sometimes it
even surprises me how long it’s been! I am now basing out of the Middle East
and am helping to minister to the many precious people here. As many of you may
be aware, different things have been circulating from former members of
late—letters that have not been the most inspiring to read. What burdened me
the most was feeling that our shepherds were being put in such a bad light and
made to look like unfeeling, uncaring, and downright bad shepherds. From
knowing Mama and Peter personally, having visited their Home on several
occasions, and having spent hours and hours with Peter over the last 10 or 12
years, I felt burdened to at least share with you my personal perspective of
Mama and Peter, and those who work closely with them.
First of all, before I ever met Mama, I grew quite close to
Peter, who has always been a help and blessing to me. I wondered whether I
could meet a sweeter, more kind-hearted person than him. He seemed to have such
a tender heart, even though he is a big strong man. He is highly talented and
gifted by the Lord, yet the thing that touched me the most about him was his
simplicity and his willingness to be weak and to let the Lord’s light shine
through. He would admit that he was weak and in need of the Lord, always giving
the Lord the glory.
One of the
main things that made me feel so close to Peter was his love for other people,
his willingness to lay down his life, to go to the nth degree even when he was
tired or weary, to be an encouragement to others. He seemed to know when I needed
a little word of love and encouragement, a pat or a hug to lift my spirit. I
would see him being exactly the same to everyone else that was around, male or
female, always willing to lay down his life.
As I said,
Peter has a tender heart. I have seen him cry time after time when singing
songs to the Lord. I have seen him touched to the point of tears when talking
about the sheep or Family members who were going through trials or battles.
These things touched me deeply, as I know that those feelings or emotions are
not something that can be worked up in the flesh nor put on. These shows of
emotion weren’t in public, but just in times of talking together about certain
people, situations or sheep, so I know with all of my heart that Peter is an
unusually loving and caring shepherd. I don’t think it’s because he’s any
better than anyone else, but just that he was called by the Lord and he said
“yes.” Because of this, the Lord has been able to make him into a special
instrument, a tender, loving, and sweet vessel of the Lord’s love.
I feel very
honored to have visited Mama’s Home on several occasions, spending about a
month there each time. All I can say is that each visit changed my life for the
better. I think the times I went were usually times when I was going through
particularly big battles and needed a fair bit of help and encouragement
(though I was never told this, ha!). Mama and Peter took me into their Home and
showed me personal care, gave me a lot of love and attention, showered me with
His Words, and helped me through my battles. I always went home strengthened
and, I believe, closer to the Lord and with more faith that He could again use
me, more connected to Jesus and with a greater desire to serve our wonderful
Family.
When it
comes to Mama, it becomes a little harder for me to explain the qualities that
I have seen in her. In some ways she is rather special and unique, and that’s
why she’s been called by the Lord to be a special instrument in His hand.
Mama’s love
for the Lord is so obvious. When celebrating her last birthday in our Home, I
was sharing a few tidbits from having been around her. One is the way that she
constantly acknowledges the Lord, how she brings the Lord into every
conversation, how she thanks Him and praises Him for everything, how she asks
for His help in whatever matter we may be discussing, and how she prays and
asks Him to help people that we may be talking about. She doesn’t want to do
anything without the Lord and His presence and Spirit. It’s a wonderful sample.
I always envisioned our shepherds to be like that, and they are!
Another
thing that has touched me about Mama is that she talks about her weaknesses;
she shares the areas that she feels she needs to grow in. She has shared with
us about her need to be more loving, giving, and sacrificial. But honestly, her
loving and giving puts me to shame each time I’m around her. She’s so
sacrificial. Every time I was around her, she seemed to sense my needs, even my
desires, and wanted to meet them in any way that she could.
I find it
amazing that with all that she had to do—the multitude of work, all the Family
mail coming in, the GNs to work on—she still had such a personal loving concern
for me. After being around Mama I wanted to do more for the Lord. I wanted to
please the Lord more. I wanted to make Him happy. I wanted to serve Him and
love the sheep, and I especially wanted to love Family members more.
Mama speaks
highly about each Family member. No matter who they are or where they are, she
really does look at them like they’re tops, because they are. She says she
could probably never do the job that they do, have the faith that they have, or
accomplish what they accomplish, and she means it with all of her heart. It has
always helped me as a shepherd in the Family to see Family members through her
eyes in that way.
Mama and
Peter are constantly trying to help us, your shepherds in the Family, to do a
better job of loving you, caring for you, and serving you. They constantly
remind us that we are supposed to be servants of the flock, that we’re supposed
to be there to serve you, to take care of you, to love you and to sacrifice for
you, and not to be as hirelings or as some of the bad shepherds that we’ve had
in the past.
I’ve heard
quite a few of the comments that have been floating around—negative things that
the Enemy has inspired concerning Mama and Peter—and you have most likely heard
them as well. One is how Mama and Peter are trying to manipulate people and get
everybody to do what they want them to do through prophecy. Well, my experience
is somewhat the opposite, as although they do pass on the Lord’s Words,
whenever they gave counsel, and even when they have heard from the Lord—I’d say
almost all the time, they would still ask me to pray about it. They would encourage
me to take into consideration the things they were passing on and use them if
they applied, but if the Lord led or showed me differently, then they’d
encourage me to follow how the Lord was leading me personally.
I have to
say, though, that the counsel they gave was very helpful and almost always
applied. Still, I always felt the freedom to be led of the Lord on the spot,
and knew that if the Lord led in a slightly different direction or slightly
modified the counsel that they passed on, I had the freedom to follow that. I
didn’t feel that I was failing the Lord or going against their desires or
wishes. In fact, I felt that they were happy that I prayed about the matter on
the spot and received direction from the Lord, since that’s what Mama has been
trying to teach and train us all to do—to hear from the Lord ourselves
personally and be led by Him.
Some former
members have stated that our more radical doctrines aren’t really of the Lord
and that they’ve gotten us into a lot of trouble and are being forced upon us.
One example they give is the Loving Jesus revelation.
God bless
Mama and Peter!—I don’t know if it was any easier for them to receive
that revelation from the Lord than it was for us. They counseled with us
CROs about it and asked us for our thoughts, feelings, and reactions on the
material before sending it out to the Family. It was difficult and it seemed
pretty wild and unusual.
Of course
there were the fears that we could get into pretty big trouble for this, being
that it was a pretty radical doctrine. I’m sure a lot of CROs and other people
expressed these feelings and opinions, yet the Lord encouraged them to go ahead
in giving this revelation to the Family. Although it took a while for us to
absorb it and begin putting it into practice, I personally would like to
testify that I am so very thankful for Mama and Peter’s conviction and their
desire to follow and obey the Lord’s words.
There are
times when the Lord specifically shows them something that they should do as
shepherds of the Family and they do it, no matter what we the people say. For
we the people aren’t always right, and sometimes we lack in faith and trust.
It’s true
that we’re out on the field and we know and experience certain things from
being out here, but just the same, in the spirit they are on the mountain, and
because they are not so influenced by their surroundings or what people say,
they are able to hear quite clearly from the Lord on matters. In the case of
the Loving Jesus revelation, although it was pretty meaty, I can testify that
it has completely changed my life. Sometimes I wonder if I would have made it
this far without it!
So I’m
thankful that Mama and Peter have obeyed the Lord even when we might have
thought it was a little bit too radical, or a bit too much, or that maybe they
were going off the deep end, so to speak. If you want to look at it like that,
Dad didn’t hold back in giving the radical revelations either, but I’m thankful
that we received each revelation that Dad gave. I believe that the Family is
what it is today—a wonderful missionary group around the world in many
countries, reaching many people—because we followed what the Lord gave Dad, and
now Mama and Peter.
Thank the
Lord we didn’t solely follow our own faith, as for me personally, I
wouldn’t be what I am today or be able to accomplish much for the Lord if it
wasn’t for the Word that is being poured out, even the more radical Word. It
spurs me to action. It makes me want to serve the Lord more. It makes me want
to be more dedicated, more sacrificial. It makes me want to give more and not
live so selfishly. It makes me want to witness more and get out there and do
the job.
I don’t
believe we’ve been led astray, not even a little bit. I believe we’re on the
straight and narrow for the Lord and we’re heading into this Endtime period
determined to be witnesses for the Lord to the very End, determined to help
people to know Jesus personally so that they don’t have to live lonely lives
without the Lord. Some people have left the Family and dislike the Family.
Well, that’s their choice, but my choice is to continue serving Jesus in the
Family, to continue witnessing, to continue living a life of sacrifice in
taking up my cross and following Jesus every day. I pray I won’t be satisfied
until the world has been reached for the Lord, and I’m thankful that we have
such a dedicated, free, exciting, and wonderful Family which surrounds us and
helps us to do the job, and such precious shepherds.
Every time
I get hit with battles, read distorted stories that former members have told,
or read something that puts the Family or our shepherds down, I get the verse,
“By their fruits ye shall know them.” I look around and I see our wonderful
Family. Of course we’re not perfect, but I see people going out witnessing
every day, souls being won, lives being touched, and I know that it’s because
of the Word that we read and the shepherds the Lord has given us.
I pray that
no matter what battles and trials the Enemy brings along our way, no matter
what attacks of the Enemy we have to fight, no matter what anybody else says,
each and every one of us will continue serving the Lord to the best of our
ability. I feel privileged to be fighting side by side and hand in hand with
all of you in this Endtime battle.
* * *
For the Record
By Pearl, Mama’s Home
Recently
there have been things said about Mama and Peter that have been untrue. Because
these things were written by someone who has lived with Dad and Mama and Peter
(though not recently), and because the accusations were well written and
seemingly “factual,” they have hurt some people’s faith, and caused others to
doubt or become confused.
Presently I
am one of Mama’s personal secretaries. I have lived with Dad, Mama, and Peter a
long time, going on 20 years now. I’ve not just lived nearby or visited
occasionally or met them in a passing encounter, but have lived almost all of
those 20 years in their Home, sometimes in the bedroom next to them—interacting
with them daily, talking with them almost every day on the intercom,
transcribing many of their meetings, discussions, their daily prayer times, and
times of hearing from the Lord. There was a short space during this 20-year
period when I didn’t actually live in the same house with them, but was a five-
or ten-minute drive away, but I was still in communication with the Folks and
transcribed their personal tapes and letters.
I have
traveled with them, lived with them, cleaned their room, and can say I’ve known
Dad, Mama and Peter very personally and intimately for the last two decades. I
can confirm that they are everything the Letters say they are. They are the
most loving and concerned shepherds the Family could have—unselfish,
sacrificial, honest, humble, yielded, upfront, hardworking, anointed leadership
who love Jesus with all their hearts. Their only reason for living is to bring
His love and message to you and the world.
There is no
doubt in my mind about this because I’ve seen them in action, not just for a
visit, but consistently and constantly. They seek the Lord and His highest will
for the Family daily, and are consistently loving, prayerful, living the Word,
sacrificing, working on the Word, and doing everything in their power and
strength to promote and give the Lord’s love. They eat, live, and breathe to serve
the Lord and the Family. I know that sounds vague and general, but let me give
you a few examples.
Some have
said that Mama and Peter don’t listen to people or that they’re close-minded
and determined to have their own way no matter what.
Sometimes I
make Mama personal tapes, and many times I’ll have ideas or suggestions. Some
of the ideas are pretty wild and I’ll say, “Mama, this is from the wild ideas
department. I don’t know if it’s from the Lord or not, and I may be really
off.”
Mama has
told me many times when I’ve said that, “Don’t ever hesitate to share your
ideas. I like to listen to them all. Of course, they may not all hit the mark,
but we need to get everyone’s input so we don’t miss anything. One of your
ideas could be very important.” I can personally testify that Mama is very open
to ideas and suggestions and takes them seriously. She prayerfully considers
them and implements many of them, including the ones you send in to her in your
letters. And that’s what the Summit meetings are largely about—discussing how
to implement the many ideas people bring up.
Recently I
had more to do than I could handle, and prayed about my workload—what work I
could do and couldn’t do. I basically presented to Mama what I could handle and
what would have to be delegated to someone else. Basically I was saying, “I can
do this, but not that. I’ll be able to do this and not that,” and she was fine
with it. Of course, I asked the Lord and got a confirmation from Him. But Mama
is definitely not a “control freak,” otherwise she’d be ordering me around and
not considering my feelings.
Mama really
does let people work according to their faith and abilities. She isn’t standing
there breathing down your neck. Whenever I begin to feel pressured or
overloaded, I just say so. I’m not afraid to speak up, because I know she wants
me to, and I know she’s not going to think I’m a dummy, incapable, or that she
needs to get someone faster or replace me; I’m not afraid I’m going to lose my
job if I can’t keep up or someone better comes along. Mama and Peter don’t work
like that.—If they did, I wouldn’t be here, that’s for sure! They are extremely
patient and forgiving.
Here’s a
typical note from Peter, “Hi Honey, I love you! Would you mind putting this on
tape for Mama? Thanks. You’re really looking nice! Love, Peter.” Isn’t that
sweet? Having your boss call you “honey,” and “would you mind”—wow!
In our
work, Mama and Peter trust that we’re hearing from the Lord. They trust our
judgment and what we have the faith for. Mama has asked me to receive
prophecies sometimes when I haven’t felt up to it, and I just say so, and I
know she’s not going to think that I’m “not on board.” She doesn’t order
or pressure. Sometimes if she knows she’s going to have timely work for me
later on in the day, she’ll call and let me know ahead of time.
Both Mama
and Peter are very considerate. In other words, they’re not dictators or
overbearing generals. There has been many a time when Mama was going to ask
someone to do something, and if they had a headache or weren’t feeling well
she’d ask them first how they felt, if they felt up to doing it later or if she
should ask someone else. I could write a book on Mama and Peter’s love and the
thoughtful things they do every day.
As you
know, recently Peter had a heart attack and was very weak, but despite that,
they decided to go ahead with some meetings with a few of the CROs about how to
better the Family, asking for ideas and how to implement them, how to spread
out the responsibility more. That’s another story in itself—how they listen to
others and ask others to help in making the decisions. It’s definitely not Mama
and Peter running the whole show, taking credit to themselves, or manipulating
things.
Anyway,
Peter had just had a heart attack some days earlier and a leadership meeting
was about to begin the next day. We had CROs visiting and there was a lot of
work. Peter has an extremely heavy workload and carries many responsibilities,
and there were the meetings to pray about, topics to cover, the keynote, how to
go about the meetings, and many important things and details to attend to. But
that morning Peter and Mama in their personal prayer time asked the Lord for an
encouragement message for me. They didn’t have to; they had many other things
they could’ve asked the Lord about.
They are
always willing to help someone, are open to their needs, opinions, ideas, and
most of all they’re open to the Lord and the leading of His Spirit. So you know
if they would stop to hear from the Lord for me despite Peter just having had a
heart attack, and preparing for very important meetings that would affect the
future of the Family, I know they would pray for you too, if you needed the
help and the encouragement.—And they do! That’s how much they love each and
every person in the Family.
Also about
being open with others, Mama has at various times asked me to pray about her
NWOs. In fact, I don’t know anybody as open, honest, and humble about their
personal NWOs as Mama is. On a regular basis she asks not only me but others to
check in with the Lord as to how she’s doing.
Specific
things that she has asked me to pray for regarding her personal life have been
(taken from her personal dictation), “Am I being affectionate enough or should
I be more affectionate, and how?” “How can I improve in my marriage?”
“Sometimes I take too long or can’t make up my mind, or when I talk I tend to
get into too many details. Ask the Lord if that’s ok and how I can do better.”
“I have no sense of direction. I’m uncoordinated. Can’t follow exercise. I feel
a little handicapped and have to have things very simple. Could you ask the
Lord about that?” When Mama was battling jealousy she was very open and honest
about her tests and trials. She would frequently ask for prayer and ask the
Lord specifically how she could be less jealous and more loving and how she
could get the victory.—You’ve read her story in the GNs.
This
definitely isn’t the person I’ve heard about in some of the things that talk
about Mama and Peter covering up. The truth is this: There are no secrets, no
hidden agendas, no cover-ups. In fact, even in the tiniest things, which are
really insignificant, she’s honest and open. For example, occasionally she may
think she has given me a tape, but she forgot it in her dictaphone. She’ll call
on the intercom and ask about the file, and when I say I haven’t received it
she’ll say, “Oh dear, maybe I forgot to give it to you. Ooops, I did! Sorry
about that!” She’s so sweet about it and she doesn’t try to cover it up and
say, “Well, somebody called and distracted me.” You know how we kind of
“wiggle” out of things sometimes? She probably was distracted, as there
are always problems, emergencies, timely messages to go over and important
business, various interruptions, etc., but even with the tiny “human” boo-boos
she’s open and honest.
Not long
ago when Mama and Peter were traveling, she got up to leave and forgot her
purse for a moment, and also forgot to lock the suitcases. She shared her
lesson and asked someone to pray about why she forgot those things. I’ve never
known Mama to try to cover up, but to the contrary, she will share her mistake
or lesson and ask for prayer. And when she asks you to pray and ask the Lord
about her personal life, in her explanation she’ll say, “Now ask the Lord to
clear your mind of any opinions and to give you a clear channel and not be
influenced by your own thoughts, even if it comes out to be a correction. I
want the Lord to correct me if I need it. I need to know the truth and I want
to be open to anything He has to say.”
On another
subject, if anyone thinks the Family has changed in its original fire to
witness, or in its original goal to reach the world with the Gospel or get out
the message, it sure hasn’t changed as far as your top leadership—which is
Mama. If you go out with her, you had better be prepared to have plenty of
tracts, and know how many you have and what kind and in what languages, and
that they’re folded nicely as a good sample—and how many you’ve passed out!
I have a
file of the names and addresses of sheep that Mama has personally witnessed to
and who have received the Lord. Right now in my “approval” subdirectory is a
letter and prophecy that needs to go off to a dear man that Mama and Peter
witnessed to, prayed for and Peter received a personal prophecy for. Even if
they’re traveling, tired, busy—it doesn’t matter—if they meet a needy sheep
they’ll do whatever the Lord leads them to do to witness, encourage or help
them.
Peter and
Mama, no matter how busy they are, do not start their day without asking the
Lord for His agenda and what He wants them to do. They also ask for the Lord’s
blessing and approval on their work and any and all activities. You can be
sure, dear Family, that there is nothing that comes out in the Letters that
Mama and Peter ask the Family to do that they don’t do themselves, or have
received the Lord’s confirmation on and have asked others to pray and receive
confirmations on as well.
Some time
ago when Trevor and Olivia were living in a unit nearby, the Folks were in the
midst of a lot of work—they had pubs to finish, some emergencies had come up
that they were having to attend to, and they were about to go on a trip as
well—but they wanted to see the children, who were living at a nearby unit,
before their trip, so they asked the Lord about it.
Mama
prayed: “Lord, we really need You and we need Your strength, we need Your help.
We need to be a good representation of You to Trevor and Olivia when they come
over, even if we’re only with them for 10 or 15 minutes. So please, Jesus, do
help us and show us what we should do and how we can be what You want us to
be.”
Isn’t that
precious? Even though Mama and Peter were extremely busy and about to make a
business trip, they took time with the children and took time to pray that
their sample would be the right sample—to 4-year-old children. That’s an
example of how much they pray and ask the Lord about the littlest things.
When
someone is going through a rough time or needs some correction, it’s very
difficult on the Folks as well. Their heart goes out to people and they pray
for people having a rough time and ask the Lord to encourage their hearts. They
also ask us, their staff, to pray for the person. If someone goes through a
rough patch, the Folks do not say icky things about them. I could give lots of
examples about this one, but because they involve personal details of others,
they’re a private matter.
Mama and Peter don’t go into their room and talk behind people’s backs
and badmouth them. They’re just not like that. And they don’t take advantage of
people.
Unless you
have lived with the Folks and have been privy to their daily prayers and
conversations, it’s hard to grasp how much goes into each and every thing they
do—how much prayer they put into things, how much love and concern, how much
they try to be everything the Lord wants them to be, how they try with all
their heart to please the Lord, to please the Family, to witness, to get the
Word out, to feed the Family.
I could
fill a book with Mama’s private prayers—her prayers for people who write her
from the field, her prayers for people in our house, for people going through
battles, her personal prayers for victories and help in her personal life.—And,
by the way, if someone is having a tough time with something that comes out in
the New Wine, she doesn’t belittle them or look down on them or think they’re
weak, or decide that they’re an “old bottle.” The first thing she does is pray
for them. Then she asks someone to pray about how we can make things easier,
clearer or better explained.
Here’s an
example of a prayer request Mama asked me to pray about, which she asks from
time to time—for her and Peter’s strength because they’re pouring out and
giving so much for the Family. She said, “Please ask the Lord why Peter is so
tired. He’s really, really tired. I keep telling him it’s just that everything
has caught up with him, especially that meeting. It was such a terrible strain.
He says, ‘I don’t like being tired.’ At dinner he’s almost ready to go to bed for
the night. Anyhow, I’m sure the Lord’s going to strengthen him, but there’s an
awful lot to do and he’s very tired. Thanks for your prayers.”
Another
time Mama asked for prayer for herself: “When I went to visit some of our loved
ones, it was good and I was glad I went, but I was so tired. I mean, I don’t
know when I’ve been so tired. When I got back I could just hardly stay awake
even during dinner. I wonder if that was just to show me how weak I really am.
Of course I got cold and I was fighting a cold, but still I wondered if the
Lord was trying to show me how weak I am, and either nudge me to do more as far
as exercise and eating better to get strengthened, or just show me what a
miracle it is when I don’t feel like that. Maybe you can ask Him about that.”
So, dear
Family, please do keep both Peter and Mama in your prayers. They really do give
it all they’ve got every day and they don’t take vacations. I’ve accompanied
them on a couple of “work-cations” when they have to take a break from the
constant press, but these are for short time periods and they usually work in
the mornings all the way through the afternoons, and then around dinner time
knock off, go for a walk, eat, and many times, if the Lord brings a sheep, they
witness to them, and of course they pass out tracts.
I’ve
practically grown up with Mama and Peter and I can personally assure you that
you couldn’t have shepherds that are any more dedicated and loving and honest
and sacrificial than Mama and Peter.—And that’s exactly the reason the Lord has
made them our shepherds, because they are the most loving and best there
is. If they weren’t, He wouldn’t allow them to be our shepherds, I’m sure. Do
you think the Lord would give you less than the best, or put hirelings as your
shepherds? No way! And I know if you were to meet them personally and live with
them you would have a book that you could write too about their love for the
Lord and this wonderful Family and for you personally!!
* * *
They Took Me Into Their Home
By Ezra, Japan
I love Mama and Peter dearly. I not only consider them to be
my king and queen; they are also my friends. They helped me at a time when I
was really going through it, when I had made a lot of mistakes in a leadership
position. Despite that, they took me into their Home to help while they were
here in Japan, and that was certainly “Days of Heaven” to be living with Dad,
Mama, Peter and their sweet household. I lived with them for a couple of
months, which were some of the most rewarding and memorable of my life.
I haven’t read the letter that James wrote, and I don’t plan
to. There is just something that is not right about someone trying to “get
even.” I don’t know James, but I do know Mama and Peter, and I had the
wonderful experience of getting to know dear Dad as well. I treasure that time,
and I’ll try and paint a picture of the Mama and Peter that I know.
Mama ... well, from the moment we met at the airport she
tried to make me feel at ease. She was always concerned about my health and how
I was doing. I always felt sincerity from her. We lived in a very small house,
and I was so impressed with how little they would get by with—no luxuries, just
simple accommodations. I would see dear Dad every day for a few moments or
together on walks, but it was Mama that I spent hours with—on the intercom! I
was set up comfortably in a little room downstairs, and Mama was faithfully
next to Dad upstairs, while carrying on lengthy conversations with me over the
house intercom.
Mama was searching desperately to try to help the work in
Japan. She wanted to glean every drop of information that she could get from me
and others who had been on the field here, for the sole purpose of trying to
find ways to get the Japan Family back on its feet and bearing fruit. I clearly
remember that I could freely express myself and my opinions, and Mama really
encouraged me in this. It was no holds barred, because she was after
information. Mama was gathering info from other sources at the time as well.
She would ask me questions on these other points, then listen, then give her
opinion, and then ask me what I thought. It was very definitely a constant,
ongoing, two-way conversation. I never felt stifled in my opinions. I never
felt that I had to be careful about how I said things. I in no way felt intimidated
to follow some “party line”; in fact, Mama wanted to cover any and all ground,
which to me seemed so radical and free! The fruit of that time was some very
helpful advice and guidance for the Japan Family, and it was a privilege to be
part of that.
It was always very clear to me that Mama was concerned about
the “littlest” person in the Family, and that love and concern was clearly
manifested to me. At one point I was faced with some very serious battles about
my visa and whether I would stay in Japan or not. I was secretly worried that
my situation might cause some serious problems, but I wasn’t confessing my
fears about it all. It was then that I got a sweet note from Mama asking me 10
different questions about why I would be putting in a request to leave Japan.
Each one of the ten questions was valid, and could have been a possibility, but
I was touched that she knew so much about me—enough to ask me all those very
pointed questions about what might really be on my heart. Actually, it was the
unasked 11th question that I confessed and got the victory over that kept
me here serving the Lord in Japan, and I cannot thank the Lord enough for that.
I owe my service here over the last 10 years to Mama’s loving
persistence, but that’s our Mama! That’s what makes her so special—she’s always
striving for the best and highest, and she has great expectations for us all,
and at the same time, great understanding and sympathy for us.
One time I made a serious mistake with our Home’s central
heater. I was leaning to my own understanding and had gone against Dad’s
careful and prayerful counsel on how to set the thermostat. The result was that
the house got extremely cold in the middle of the night, and Dad woke up
freezing cold and could have caught pneumonia. Dad came down and saw that I had
moved the setting too low, and soon after that, he was on the intercom giving
me a much needed rebuke. Boy, did I deserve it! Mama came over to me in the
middle of it all, and put a blanket around me and said, “Join the club!”—meaning
the club of those that had learned a good lesson directly from dear Dad. She
looked like an angel, so very tender and understanding and not condemning at
all.
A few weeks later at the New Year’s celebration that we had,
Dad was going around the room, making sweet comments about each one in the
Home. When he came to me, Mama pointed out that I had learned such a good
lesson recently after Dad’s good bawling out that I needed. Referring to my
mistake, Dad quickly replied, “Ezra could never have done that.” In other
words, Dad was publicly forgiving me by just letting it pass. That’s the way it
was living with them. Even with our mistakes they were so generous with
understanding, sympathy, and forgiveness.
Mama was super concerned about my back, as I had a back
problem at that time. She was insistent that I shouldn’t overdo or strain
myself, no matter how insistent I was that it was “all right!” I can’t help but
feel a warm and loving memory come over me of the wonderful time I had living
and working with her. I’ll treasure those memories forever.
Now, Peter, here’s a great guy. He always had a magical way
of making you feel very comfortable and at ease, but at the same time, you knew
just where the line was between when it was time to play and time to work. I
got to know Peter through meetings and times of serious discussions regarding
problems in the Family. It was a very difficult time, and sometimes the
conversation had to be about people and situations, but I was always clearly
impressed that Peter wanted to hear all sides. He didn’t go for putting fingers
on the scale, and he wanted to give everyone a fair shake! Look at me! It was a
real gamble for them to have me come to live with them, as I had been generally
only on the field, and had been recently in an office situation that had turned
out to be a real problem. But they obviously had the faith for me, and it
pulled me through some rough times in my life. The Lord’s love really shines
through Peter. You can see that he really loves Jesus, and he really loves the
Family.
I feel so very sorry for James. I have been serving the Lord for 27 years now—25 of those years
in Japan—and I’ve been through thick and thin. In all those years I’ve had the
blessing of seeing things through rosy glasses, and I believe that it’s a pure
gift from the Lord. I’ve had to battle with bitterness and negative thinking
very little in all of those years, and I really thank the Lord for that. The
few times I’ve entertained bitterness it has just about destroyed me, as it only
brought me deep sadness and loneliness. Bitterness separates, isolates,
destroys the one who entertains it, and does nothing but terribly hurt the ones
around it. I feel so very sorry for those who have not been able to look at
life through those famous Romans 8:28 glasses. I do all the time. I couldn’t
make it otherwise.
Hail to our Queen Maria and King Peter! I love them both, and
I hope that this little personal testimony will help someone else, especially
if you’ve had to wade through James’ letter. I didn’t read it because I know
it’s not necessary. My suggestion is to do the same. The Mama and Peter that I
know in the flesh are the same Mama and Peter that I read about in the Letters,
and that’s enough for me!
* * *
From Someone Who Knows!
By Gabe, of Amy, WS
I didn’t
come to the Folks’ house to help write or edit pubs. I came because I had the
gift of helps and I loved to serve. I was very happy in my ministry. I cooked
Dad’s food for seven years. I made his bed for 12 years. I enjoyed my ministry.
Eventually,
because of the gifts the Lord had given me, combined with the training I had
received from Dad and Mama, the Lord called me to be a shepherd. That is what I
have done for the last 12 years.
I would
venture to say I spent more time with Dad than anyone else besides Mama. I
joined the staff in 1981 and was there in 1994 when Dad took his last breath.
The reason I spent so much time with him was because I cooked for him; I
brought him his food; I was his handyman, his driver. I even slept in the same
room with him at times when he was extremely sick and Mama was exhausted and
needed extra rest. I know Dad. I continue to feel his presence in my life every
day. When I drive, I hear his voice cautioning me just as he did when he was
sitting in the back seat. When I do handyman work, I hear his voice reminding
me to pray. His training continues to play a big part in my life, and I’m
thankful for that.
Because of
all the time I spent with Dad, and knowing him on such an intimate basis, I of
course saw him at his good times and bad times. I could tell you many things he
did that proved his imperfection, but can also testify that he loved the Lord
above all and gave all of himself and his life and strength to serve the
Family. I know Dad had a sincere love for the Lord, as well as a fear of
failing Him. This is why he passed on every message and revelation that he
received. He knew that many of the things that the Lord gave him were going to
be difficult for some people, but his love and reverence for the Lord motivated
him to do what he had to do.
When I
joined the staff back in 1981, in South Africa, there were 10 people on the
staff. There was Dad and Mama, Peter, Joy,
Sara, Alf, Pearl, Dora, James Penn, and myself. I’m happy to say that all of these people,
except for James, are still going strong for the Lord. They’re all serving the
Lord in some capacity in the Family.
I was
saddened when I heard about James leaving the Family. I was very close to him
for many years. His and others’ decisions to leave the Family have helped me
understand what you young people feel when your friends, brothers or sisters
leave the Family. Of course, each person has to make his own choice; that is
part of the Lord’s plan and something Dad and Mama have tried to teach us.
When James
decided to write his negative point of view, it saddened me even more.
James was at one time a dedicated David’s Mighty Man and a big help to Dad and
Mama on many occasions. I don’t want to argue James’ points one by one, but I will tell you what I know to be the
truth about Mama and Peter, and the choice is yours as to who you will
believe.
Keep Your Eyes on
the Lord
Dad was
human. He had weaknesses, but he was honest about them. For example, Dad was
very honest about his weakness for alcohol, which he confessed to the whole
Family in “MY CONFESSION!—I Was an Alcoholic!” (ML #1406). I’m happy to say
that the last three years of Dad’s life, he didn’t drink any alcohol. Anybody
who knows anything about alcoholism can recognize that that is a total miracle.
Of course, Dad wasn’t an alcoholic in the true sense of the word because most
alcoholics desire to drink constantly. Dad did not drink during the day and
only drank in the evenings, when he woke up in the middle of the night, and
when he couldn’t sleep or was trying to go to sleep. In my opinion, this isn’t
a true alcoholic; nevertheless, Dad felt it was a weakness. He also felt it was
necessary to be honest with you, his Family, about his weaknesses. The main
reason he wanted to share his weaknesses with you is so that you would know he
was human and that you wouldn’t look to him, but rather you’d look to the Lord.
I can’t possibly count how many times Dad reminded us around him to look to the
Lord and not to him. He did so constantly.
Mama and
Peter are also human. They have their personal weaknesses just like you
and me, but they’re also honest about them. Like Dad, they also have constantly
reminded us to look to the Lord.
Many people
are thankful to Dad and Mama because of their love for the Lord and the
decisions they made to make the Family possible. It’s like that verse, “By
one man’s obedience many were made righteous.” Because of Dad’s faith and
obedience to the Lord, he was used of the Lord to start the Family. Lots of
people are very thankful to Dad and Mama, and now Mama and Peter, for their
continued love for the Lord. This is natural, but the thing Dad, and now Mama
and Peter, have tried over and over to stress to us is to not look to them, but
to the Lord.
Way back in
1982 when the Family was sending Dad their videos of their marvelous works
around the world, we were sitting with Dad watching a video of our Family. One
Family member on this video was expressing his love and appreciation for Dad so
exuberantly and enthusiastically that Dad felt he was giving too much credit
and glory to Dad rather than the Lord. So Dad paused the video in frustration
and explained to us, “You guys have to realize that if anything good gets done,
it’s the Lord. You have to give credit to the Lord. You can’t give credit to
me.” He said, “What has to happen? Do I have to get sick; do I have to die? If
you guys are going to give me the credit, then I’m going to have nothing but
problems. You’ve got to remember to give the credit to the Lord, and this is very,
very important. Now, I want you to
learn that lesson and I want you to learn it well.” Then he released the pause
button and we continued to watch the Family video.
He also
explained at that time that he had weaknesses and problems and made mistakes,
but, he said, “As long as you guys continue to keep your eyes on the Lord, the
Lord will not fail you and He won’t fail us. We’ve just got to keep our eyes on
the Lord.”
The Bible
says to desire not to be teachers, because unto you is the greater condemnation.
The interpretation of “condemnation” in this verse is “judgment.”—There’s a
greater judgment and more is expected of teachers, shepherds and leaders, so
it’s important that you pray for them and do your part to keep your eyes on the
Lord and not on them.
I think one
reason why Mama has promoted prophecy so much is because she wants us to look
to the Lord! As long as people are looking to the Lord, then they don’t
look to man. Mama and Peter don’t put themselves up on pedestals as being
“perfect.” Mama and Peter are like us. They’re doing their best to be a sample
of Jesus, to be more like Him, and that’s certainly what is reflected in the
Letters, and it’s also reflected in the Home, in their daily interactions,
decisions, and discussions.
Because of
my 14 years of working with Dad and 20 years of working with Mama and Peter, I
could tell you lots of stories and anecdotes to illustrate the point that they
are weak human beings, they need others, and they are very open to ideas,
suggestions and the opinions of others. Anyone that is trying to control or
manipulate someone else doesn’t confess their own weaknesses. There have been
numerous times when Dad, Mama and Peter have confessed their faults before the
body and asked for prayer. Some of those talks have been published; many of
them haven’t. Nevertheless, Mama and Peter continue to come to their
teamworkers and sometimes to the whole body when needed to ask for united
prayer.
We who live
with Mama and Peter see some of the times when maybe they’re tired, irritable,
or simply “human,” but that doesn’t make what they publish not true, or of any
less value. That doesn’t lessen their anointing as queen and king, or take away
from the responsibility and anointing the Lord has given them as the leaders of
our Endtime Family. They are human and they have human weaknesses—but they’re
NOT like James says they are and makes them out to be. They are not
manipulative, deceitful, cruel, uncaring, selfish or untruthful.
They are
learning, as we all are. We all grow, we change, we revolute, and that’s what
keeps giving us fire and life to keep serving Jesus. When you stop changing,
then you die. In order to change things, you have to reassess, re-evaluate and
look honestly at things in life. Mama and Peter do this regularly, and they do
so with a lot of counsel with other shepherds, and lots of feedback from you,
our dear Family. If they didn’t, our Family would have died out long ago.
The Dangers of Pride
Something
that could cause people who know Mama and Peter well and who work closely with
them to begin having problems is if those people fall prey to pride. The reason
for this is that the Folks are very encouraging; they listen to people; they
constantly solicit ideas and opinions and ask those around them for input. What
happens then is that we around them get in the habit of being able to share
anything with them, whether we agree or disagree with something. Once Mama and
Peter hear our ideas, they may have some personal feelings on the matter, but
what they do, pretty much without fail, is pray and take things to the Lord.
It’s not that they don’t listen to people, it’s just that at some point they
take the matter to the Lord. They obey God rather than man.
If we put
forth suggestions—and I think for the most part many of our suggestions are
taken, implemented and approved by the Lord—over time it becomes easy for you
to expect to be not only listened to, but you expect that your suggestions will
be taken, because many of them are. But what happens when they’re not? Then
it’s easy, when you’re personally involved, to get a bit resentful and hurt. If
this continues to grow and you maybe are not praying enough about your
suggestions, a root of bitterness can begin to grow and cause you to blame
those around you for what looks to you to be wrong decisions. Voila, a
problem occurs, and you start labeling Mama and Peter as the “bad guys.” But
check out the Word. Read up on bitterness. What is your experience with
bitterness? How does it cloud issues? Who’s the villain here?
The sad
thing is, sometimes little disagreements can fester or grow and cause somebody
not just to disagree with Mama and Peter, but to let that disagreement lead
them to the path of bitterness, and eventually they not only leave the path of
serving the Lord in the Family, but they go down the path of not serving the
Lord at all.
Mama and Peter
Listen to Others
Some people
say that Mama and Peter don’t listen, that they make all the decisions and call
all the shots. I’ve heard this before, and from time to time, when things
weren’t going the way I was hoping they would, I would tend to feel that way
myself. When I did, I took it to the Lord and asked Him about it. Here’s what
the Lord said to me:
“There are
certain things that your shepherds, leaders, and prophets are obligated to do
for Me. They realize the importance of counseling and they do counsel, as you
know, but there are times when they have to do what I have shown them to do.
This is their obligation to Me. This is their responsibility to Me. There were
times when you even criticized your Father David for not taking your counsel,
but he knew the seriousness of following Me and doing what I showed him to do.
Now you see the wisdom in the way he operated.
“Even
though you didn’t understand it at the time, you see now why he operated this
way. When it comes down to it, this is what you admired him for. He bucked the
System, went against the tide, and didn’t conform to convention and the norm.
He told you that you could live without the System, and you believed him. He
told you that you could forsake all and follow Me by faith, and you followed.
He told you I would supply, and you saw miracles and testimonies of supply.
This increased your faith to continue to follow and have faith. If you hadn’t
followed and had faith, you would have missed so much. But you had to follow by
faith.”
This little
explanation from the Lord, even though short, helped me to understand and have
faith.
WS Has Changed
WS has gone
through a lot of changes in the last five years, especially with the infusion
of a lot of young people. We no longer operate the way we used to. Things have
changed. Dad has graduated. We’ve continued to progress. The dynamics of our WS
Homes have changed dramatically over the last four or five years as we brought
in more newcomers, and particularly more young people.
It’s very
difficult for someone like James Penn to speak as an authority about the
workings in the Folks’ house when he hasn’t been here for over 10 years!
Believe me, things have changed so much. We’ve grown, changed, adapted, morphed
in so many ways, in my opinion, for the better! Not that the old was wrong, but
we’ve continued to move forward and change and revolute, TTL! Learning to work
with the young people that came from the field in many instances, and learning
to understand them and how to integrate our generations, now three under one
roof, was a challenge, but I believe many of the things we learned in our
transitions and mergers have helped our Family worldwide.
Certainly
we’ve learned some things the easy way, and others the hard way, but the
lessons we’ve learned have been shared through the Letters. The growth we’ve
made as a Family is pretty evident, and the growth has not been towards more
control by Mama and Peter, but more control over our lives by the Lord. I have
experienced this growth in my personal life and in the lives of those in WS, as
I’ve visited the various WS units during the past years and talked with and
know each person in WS personally.
I shepherded
Mama’s Home for 12 years, but a year and a half ago Amy and I were asked to
help with the shepherding of another unit. When Amy and I moved to this other
unit—which was a fledgling one—Mama trusted us to shepherd and organize the
Home without her direct oversight. Not one time that I can remember did Mama
get involved in the running of our Home. She could have called, she could have
written letters. To me, the fact that she didn’t was commendation that we were
doing a good job. She let us operate the Home the way we felt led. We as a Home
made our own decisions, decided on our own schedule, set our own in-house goals
and policies. As long as our Home members fulfilled their WS responsibility to
produce the pubs in their court, Mama was content to leave the ins and outs of
how we did it up to us and our Home. (I was never so glad for the gift of
prophecy and the emphasis on hearing from the Lord for our situation!)
As a
shepherd of a Home in WS—and as someone who hates to be poured into a mold—I
have operated and worked independently of Mama and Peter. I don’t want to say
it was independent of their oversight, because they were available for counsel
whenever we needed it. But as far as them getting involved in the details of
our Home and with the personnel of our Home, they did not get involved, except
when we asked for counsel and advice on occasion. They figured we’d had several
years of training, we were experienced in the new weapons, and they had faith
in our channels and our abilities to shepherd. I’ve operated this way for a
year and a half now.
Our Home
has gone through transitions in the way we operate and do things since our
young people came. I have changed, Amy has changed, our shepherding has
changed, and our Home has changed. And our Home was Mama’s Home at the time
these changes started. Mama and Peter were available for counsel and advice,
but we made the adjustment and changes—and they were happy to let us. They
didn’t try to control things or get involved with every facet of our lives.
Sincerity, not
Manipulation
One of the
accusations against Mama and Peter is that they try to manipulate the Family
through prophecy. I can personally testify that Mama’s motive in asking the
Lord questions and sharing His answers with you is not to manipulate you or to
control you, but rather to seek for ways we can serve and love the Lord better.
Mama felt
that we needed a closer and more intimate relationship with the Lord and asked
Him if there was any way we could love Him more and express our love for Him,
which resulted in the Loving Jesus revelation. Mama also asked the Lord if we
needed to spend more time praising Him and loving Him, so our prayers wouldn’t
constantly be petitions asking Him for things, but also thanking Him for our
many blessings. As a result, the affection time/praise time revolution was
born. She wanted to make sure that we weren’t resting on our laurels and
coasting on our past training from Dad and the way we used to do things. She
wanted to make sure we were operating according to how the Lord wanted us to
operate today for our personal situations, hence, the emphasis on hearing from
the Lord in prophecy individually.
All these
various revolutions and revelations were born purely from the motive of loving
the Lord and pleasing Him, not for manipulating our personalities and
individual characteristics. Mama just
loves the Lord—as Dad did—and she feels it’s her responsibility as the
shepherdess of the Family to continually ask the Lord if there are any ways
that we can love Him more or please Him or do a better job for Him. This is her
job and she continues to abide in her calling.
Amy and I
recently visited a chiropractor, as Amy sometimes has problems with her back.
He was talking to us about the benefits of eating good healthy nutritious food.
I explained that we try to do that, but some of the people we live with like
white sugar or white flour products. (We don’t buy those products but still,
there is the temptation for some people to want to eat them.) He explained to
us, “Don’t buy it. Don’t make it available. Just tell them you can’t find it.”
He gave us a stern lecture about the harmful effects of these things on your
body. Here was a System person trying to get us to enforce some rules and
regulations because he knows of the devastating effects junk food has on one’s
body. Mama’s motive for trying to get us to take care of our bodies through
proper get-out and eating right is because she’s concerned that we have healthy
bodies to serve the Lord for a long period of time.
Mama’s
motives for asking the Lord questions on various spiritual issues and even
practical matters for the Family comes from her desire to love and please the
Lord. She is a wise and loving shepherdess who doesn’t want us to fail the Lord
in any aspect of our lives.
Mama and “Control”
Mama is
concerned that we are doing the most we can do for the Lord. She is an
efficiency expert and expects quality work out of people. She insists that you
get the rest, exercise, and time off that you need, but also is an anointed
motivator with an ability to get you to do your best for the Lord. Sometimes
that might mean a little “meddling,” but it’s for the purpose of seeing to it
that we’re getting the job done for the Lord that we need to do. It’s not a
matter of her desire to control people personally. She has the interests of the
Lord’s work at heart, and getting the work done means taking care of the
workers.
Mama was
very involved with the individuals in her Home at one time, but now those in
her Home have largely learned to run and manage themselves, by seeking the Lord
more and more. She certainly knows
what’s going on and the state of her flock, but for the most part, the Home is
run by shepherds who counsel with and inform Mama and Peter of how things are
going. A lot of informing the Folks is done through the many personal
prophecies that the Home members voluntarily send to Mama and Peter, which are
evidence that people are seeking the Lord and asking Him how to go about
things.
Mama has
been like a parent in many ways. She got involved when she needed to, when we
were young and “green” and didn’t really know what we were doing when it came
to our work in WS or even areas in our spiritual lives and relationships. But
once she had done her motherly job and knew we had the basics down, she stepped
back.
Take other
scenarios: Would you say that bosses like to control their employees? Yes, some
do. By controlling their work hours, they control their home lives too, to a
great extent, and they certainly control how the work is done at the workplace.
Does the army like to control its soldiers?—Definitely, there’s total control.
That’s the nature of the military. Any church organization, corporation,
business, or army has to have a united goal. To reach their goal they need an
overseer, head or leader who points them in the direction that they believe is
the right way to go, and if people want to be part of that group, they follow.
The point is, what’s so unusual about Mama and Peter and the Family? What’s the
beef? And we in the Family have the security that the leadership of Mama and
Peter is sound, wise and according to God’s will, because we know they pray and
hear from Him each step of the way, and they counsel with others.
People have
to choose whether they want to be part of any organization, corporation, group
or whatever, knowing its guidelines and standards. Being in the Family or being
in WS is much the same. I believe that if people are not here for the Lord and
because of their love for Him, then the Family is not the place for them. No
one has to be here just because they were born into it. Each person should make
a choice.
I can’t
forget a very important point here, and this might be a bit sensitive for some
women! Generally (notice I said generally, as there are exceptions),
women are noted for being much more easily labeled as “control freaks.” In my
experience with women, such as Mama, Amy, Sara, Dora, and other women who are
pushers or like to get things done and are really doing something, it can
appear that they are trying to control things. Sometimes they are to a certain
extent, and they need to in situations where they are the boss and they are
responsible to help people do the right thing, as in Mama’s case.
Some women
tend to want to know what’s going on all the time so they can plan, and that
can make them appear to be “control freaks.” Mama is an extremely curious cat
(Leo) and she loves to know what’s going on. That is part of her job, to know
the state of her flocks. When it gets into meddling in our personal lives, then
the point of “control” comes up. Mama is a bold woman and she is not afraid to
tell people what the Lord says. In fact, she often asks the Lord for messages
of love, encouragement, instruction, direction, etc, for people when she feels
they need it. Sometimes the messages may conflict with our personal feelings or
desires.
This is a
point at which we can either take something as from the Lord or begin to
complain that Mama is trying to so-called “control us through prophecy.” The
choice is ours. When I shepherd, I face the same dilemma sometimes when I have
to pass on a message to someone. It’s not easy, and I run the risk of someone
feeling like I’m out of line to be trying to “tell them what to do.” But really
it’s not me; I’m just the channel or vessel passing on what the Lord
wants to say to the person, and the choice is always theirs as to what they
decide to do with the counsel and whether they will receive it. Nobody can
“force” someone to do something, at least not through prophecy. It’s clear in
the Charter that it’s our choice to follow a prophecy that is given to us
personally, to pray more about it, or to disregard it.
I think the
“control” that people struggle with is more often that the Lord tells us
what He wants us to do and sometimes it’s hard for us to do it. Then we
can either come to grips with it by going back to the Lord and asking Him about
it, or we can choose the easy way out. The easy way out is often to blame
things on the deliverer of the message if it’s not one that you received
yourself, and say they are pushing you, pressuring you, and that you don’t want
to be controlled. As a shepherd I have seen person after person who has
received hard sayings in a prophecy and has taken them to the Lord personally and
asked Him to explain them and has overcome any questions they had that way. I
have done that myself as well.
The key is
recognizing the cause of the difficulty and dealing with it. Think about it.
Why are you having a hard time with a prophecy? Is it because of who received
the message? Then ask the Lord about it personally. Is it because of who is
talking to you about it? Then ask the Lord about it personally. There is always
a solution to the struggles people have, but the individual has to deal with it
personally rather than turning around and blaming someone else or some
circumstance. That road leads to destruction, not production for the Lord.
We in WS do strive very hard to live the standard in the
Letters in our WS Homes. We try very hard to remain united in our goals. Dad
explained why we are different than the churches and other religious
organizations when he said:
“I’ll tell you,
brothers and sisters, what makes the difference—this huge, vast,
insurmountable, incontrovertible, undeniable difference!—It’s our
unified leadership and total unity! It’s our unified message and total
cooperation! It’s our unified organization and total coordination! It’s your
unified obedience and total dedication! We are one Family, one Nation, one
Kingdom, one Fold, with one Shepherd!” (ML #189:22)
We have found in our WS Homes that to have this high standard
of unity it is necessary that someone with authority can make the final
decisions. With so many diverse personalities, so many diverse opinions,
someone has to be given the authority to make the final decisions. Of course we
try to involve all Home members in Home decisions as much as possible. We have
Home Council meetings, and we also ask the Lord about any decisions, but
sometimes there is still a need for further counsel and final decision-making.
That’s where the teamworks of each WS Home, or Mama and Peter in counsel with
their teamwork arrive at decisions, taking into consideration the counsel of
others and the Lord’s counsel in prophecy.
The members of each WS Home love and respect their shepherds
and have agreed to make personal sacrifices for the sake of the unity of the
Home. It doesn’t come up very often where anyone disagrees with the decisions
to the point that they get up and leave, although that is their prerogative.
It does make it clear in the Charter that you forgo some of
your rights when you come to WS, just like you do in a Service Home. There are
good reasons for that. For example, we can’t have people working at System jobs
when we’ve invited them to WS for a specific ministry. They can’t fellowship
with other Homes when we have certain security standards. There are certain
requirements we have in WS, which we try to make very clear to people before
they come.
The fact of the matter is, yes, we do have some control, but
it’s not anywhere near the extent that James portrays and it is something that
those in WS have agreed to. And we have agreed to those terms because we love
you, we love our work for you, we love the Lord and we love our shepherds.
Amy and I work with a wonderful team that operates very much
according to their faith in life, yet are committed to sticking to a high
standard. Some have said we run a tight ship, but let me ask you a question,
since you are the ones who support us through your tithes. I was once in your
place. I went to the post office every month and mailed in my tithe. I laid
hands on that tithe in the envelope and I prayed, “Lord help our WS Family to
use this money wisely.” We are shepherds of the representatives that you have
sent from the field to serve you in administration, publications, and producing
the Word. Would you like me to say that we run a loose ship here, that people
work when they feel like it—if they get inspired, they work, and if not, they
don’t? Or would you rather that people here work hard, put in long hours, and
use the money you send in wisely and are frugal?
Human nature is such that it doesn’t like to make sacrifices
and die to self. So our job as WS shepherds, and Mama’s job, has been to get
people to be inspired about putting in the hours and working hard for you and
making the spiritual progress needed in their personal lives. That is a tough
job. Believe me, I know. I almost quit, as you read in the “Spiritual Attacks
Intensified” GN (ML #3255, GN 856). Then Dad spoke to me, through the messages
that were published in that GN and others. He said, “Son, I trained you, I
taught you. You have the anointing, you have the authority. Now use it to
accomplish what you know needs to be accomplished.” That’s where my life
changed. Rather than running from my calling, I decided to do the hard
pick-and-shovel work of being a shepherd. One of my friends on the field, who
was a really good shepherd but had stopped shepherding, told me, “I didn’t want
to continue to go through the breakings it requires to be a loving and
understanding shepherd.” By the way, when he told me this, he was explaining
how he needed to get back into shepherding and has since abided in his calling.
I decided to fight on and am still fighting. It’s not easy. I
sometimes feel like quitting, just like you probably do. But my personal goal
is still the same. I live for winning souls and giving the message of love and
salvation to the world. I can’t personally go out and do that much, but I
believe that the Family is the best place to do it. I live for you who are out
there doing the job. I know it takes faith, and our goal is to provide you with
the Word, which gives you the faith to fight on.
Besides the GNs, my favorite pubs are the FAR, Grapevine
and other such pubs that show what a tremendous job you are doing. You’d better
be doing the job, because we are living to serve you, and if you’re not, I
might come out and try to “control” you! Ha! I’m just kidding. I know that’s
impossible, as you’re all so different and unique in your special way. We are
committed to doing our job here of getting out the Word—which for me means
shepherding those who do. I pray we continue to operate in unity here, and with
you, so that we can accomplish the Lord’s will for us as a Family.
* * *
A Queen To Be Proud Of!
By Abi, CRO, USA
Peter and I met each other in our junior year of high school
and ended up as boyfriend/girlfriend from that time on. We met the Family
together while traveling in Europe, and we joined in 1971. From the very
beginning I knew there was something very special about Peter—he seemed to have
a special love for those he came in contact with. Everyone seemed to love being
around him. Of course, when we met the Family this came out even more and
continued to grow as he lived with Dad and Mama.
When he was asked to go and be with the Folks, he was very
loving and considerate about it; even though we parted physically, I never felt
abandoned in any way. He continued to call me his wife and was always very
loving and caring in our interaction together. Whenever we would see each other
it almost felt as if we had not been apart.
Even when he got married to Mama—something I was so happy
about as I knew how much Peter loved Mama—he still included me whenever we were
around each other.
I’ve had the blessing of visiting with Mama and Peter for
extended periods at different times over the years that I’ve worked with them.
During these visits I’ve gotten to see the fruit of the Word they so faithfully
pour out, through their sample of living it.
If they were as corrupt as some former members make them out
to be, I don’t think so many would be touched by their sample of love, concern,
and simplicity. I don’t think they could fool all those that they come in
contact with.
Like Dad, you can tell that Mama and Peter are not here for
their own profit, gain, or comfort—and this is something I’ve seen them
sacrifice time and again for others. I don’t think anyone would complain about
them being comfortable or having nice things, as they give so much of
themselves. But the way they and their household live is a sample of simplicity
and frugalness with the Lord’s funds, from their housing, down to their
vehicles, furnishings, and personal needs.
Even when there’s a need for something that costs a little
more—as they usually get things secondhand—I saw Mama very concerned about the
price. She had a very painful ingrown toenail and needed some good walking
shoes, and when someone pointed out some which fit without hurting her toe too
much, I saw her battle over the price and spending money on them.
Once, while Mama was traveling through our area on business,
I saw her choose to stay in a very small motor home over a bigger, nicer one,
as she wanted the two secretaries she was traveling with to have that one. And
then when it rained and the motor home she was in leaked, you didn’t hear a
complaint out of her mouth—only thankfulness that it wasn’t worse. I was
convicted, as I felt she deserved something better and could have easily moved
into a hotel, which would have been a lot easier physically, but again she
opted to stay, remaining happy and content in her surroundings. In my opinion,
she is a queen to be proud of.
In working with Mama and Peter I have never felt that I
couldn’t say certain things. They have always wanted to hear whatever I had to
say, and in fact have encouraged me time and again to speak up and say whatever
I felt, even if it was contrary to the way they were feeling.
They encourage us as field leaders to question things and
bring them to their attention for further prayer, counsel, and direction. I’ve
never felt that we had to always do things the way they’ve been done in the
past. In fact, I feel the opposite, and sometimes felt bad that I didn’t have
more to contribute in the way of new ideas or suggestions.
You can tell from the Letters that they’re not content with
the way things are, but they’re always looking for ways to do things better.
It’s so untrue that they don’t appreciate contrary opinions.
I remember a time I was explaining some trials a person I was
helping to shepherd was having. After I was done, Mama explained to me that
these were very longstanding problems which I needed to be aware of, but she
never discouraged me from trying to help, and having faith that that person
could change. She is not stuck on how things were in the past, but instead she
is a woman of faith—knowing that things can and will change.
I remember getting corrected for whispering something to
someone at the table in front of someone who was battling and feeling a little
left out. I could have gotten sensitive about this correction, thinking that
that person should be a little stronger. But when praying about it, I saw the
love and concern Mama has for others—something you definitely see in the Word
and through her sample in every way.
These are all things that would not be if Mama and Peter were
as corrupt as some are making them out to be. I know that they’re human and
probably make mistakes like all of us, but one thing I know is that they
respect the Lord’s voice and leading, and in coming to Him so often, if there’s
anything that needs to be changed, they will do it, as evidenced by the New
Wine coming out.
In Mama and Peter encouraging all of us to hear from the Lord
ourselves, you can see that they’re not getting everyone to look to them. They
want all of us to have our own personal connection with Him. They aren’t
controlling us through the Charter or the S2K—they have just defined for the
Family the guidelines the Lord gave for discipleship, which have been right
there in the Bible all along.
I’ve seen that when you open yourself up to the Lord for His
guidance through prophecy, whether you get it through the Word or yourself
through a personal prophecy, the Lord always leads you to do the right
thing—the harder thing—as He is helping us to be the disciples He wants and
needs us to be—called out and separate.
I don’t know if I can really do the subject justice, but it
hurts to hear some of the things that are being thrown out. I know Mama and
Peter personally and I’ve seen their hearts through the Letters that have come
out, along with seeing their personal sample, and I stand beside them fully
convinced that they’re doing the right thing. We have a ways to go and a lot to
learn, but I firmly believe that we’re making a mark, and that’s what’s
important to me!
* * *
How I See Things
By Steven (Silas), CRO, ASCRO
I have been in the Family for approximately 29 years. Having been
not only in the Family but in a variety of positions of responsibility over the
years, it has been amazing to experience the different revolutions that the
Family has gone through—including the graduation of Dad to his Heavenly reward
and continued oversight of the Family, the “New Day” weapons that have been
introduced through Mama and Peter’s anointed leadership, and their having
received Dad’s mantle, like Elijah of old.
I often think back on the different things that have happened
over the years, such as the “New Revolution,” the “RNR,” the FFing revolution,
the DFing revolution, and so forth—most of which had fairly major ramifications
for the Family as a whole, often leading to a realignment of our goals. In some
cases, such as with the RNR, it resulted in a clean sweep of the leadership at
the time, leading to a “New Day” leadership then as well.
We shouldn’t be
shaken in mind or spirit when there is a purging, as it has happened before in
the Family. It has almost always resulted in a stronger, more determined, more
dedicated Family than before. For example, during the RNR, some of the top
leadership of the Family, including Deborah, Jethro, Rachel, Timothy and pretty
much the entire “top,” with the exception of Dad and Mama, ended up choosing another
path—yet the Family has accomplished more since then than we ever dreamed
possible. In some ways, I feel that what we have experienced in the last few
years is not unlike that, although in many ways we seem to be faring much
better now than we did after the RNR.
The reason I mention this is because of some pretty malicious
lies and exaggerations that have been circulating of late, which have
destabilized some—particularly some of our younger generation who may not
remember that these things have happened before, and yet the Lord has kept us
and made us stronger and better through it. “Every branch that beareth fruit,
He purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit” (Jn.15:2).
I want to share with you a few personal experiences that I
have had over the years, from as far back as 1975 when I first met Peter in
Italy, before the RNR. Needless to say, we (Endureth and I) have both had our
ups and downs, depending on what the Lord was doing in our lives. But
thankfully He has allowed us to make it and to change with the different moves
of the Spirit that have happened over the years—which is the reason why the
Family has kept alive and vibrant to this day, challenging “the very gates of
hell.”
My experiences with Mama
I met Dad and Mama when they were living in the Philippines
many years ago. We were all living at MWM at the time in Sri Lanka. There was a
plan for MWM to move to the Philippines, and I was asked to go house hunting.
To my surprise, it turned out that Dad and Mama were living there. To my even
greater surprise, I was invited to visit their Home.
Over the years many people have written about how wonderful
Dad and Mama are, which I can certainly affirm from my limited 25-day stay. The
experience left a lasting impression on me, and it’s something that I treasure
and will never forget. Mama was as bouncy, bubbly and full of life as I had
read, always concerned for those around her. She went out of her way to pass on
to me little tidbits, counsel, love, and appreciation every time I happened to
encounter her. Of course, she had not taken on Dad’s mantle at that time, as he
was still here with us, but it was clear even then how gifted spiritually she
was, and how the Lord had given her such a mother’s care and heart for all of
us in the Family. She was then and is now genuine, sincere, and real.
Peter’s anointing
Prior to the RNR days, Endureth and I had worked very closely
with Timothy Concerned. Timothy was probably the best friend I had in the
Family, and we were also very close to Rachel and Emmanuel. Given this, it was
very difficult for me when Timothy left. But I could see so clearly in meeting
Peter what the Lord had in mind all along. The Lord knows what our choices are
going to be, and while I don’t know if it can be called predestined, it was
clear that the Lord had been grooming Peter from the beginning to fill the
shoes that had been temporarily worn by Timothy before he left. Peter was
anointed for the job. He was concerned, efficient, and organized—everything
that Dad and Mama needed at the time.
I remember meeting Peter at Dad and Mama’s house for the
first time in that capacity. It impressed me at the time, and has continued to
impress me ever since, how personable and down-to-earth and “real” he is. It’s
hard to explain. I suppose when you read a letter from Peter, or some of the
wonderful and beautiful prophecies that have been shared with all of us, it’s
difficult to imagine that these gifts are embodied in such a friendly,
easy-to-talk-to, and genuinely concerned man of God.
Personal encouragement through our battles
One thing I wanted to mention about Peter is regarding my
“Weakness Revolution” testimony and lessons that you may remember. (See GN 820,
ML#3218:256-294.) Different prophecies were received for me, some of which were
pretty strong meat, I thought, ha! Dear Mama and Peter lovingly suggested that
Endureth be the one to pass these things onto me on their behalf, to make sure
that I was able to take it in the right spirit, in an attitude of faith, and
not to be defeated by what the Lord had said, but to be challenged by it.
Endureth had a wealth of counsel that she had received from both Mama and Peter
on this, and it made a huge difference as far as my being able to take the
Lord’s Words as from the Lord and not be devastated but rather challenged by
the fact that the Lord was bringing this about in an effort to help me to grow
and change.
The concern Mama and Peter had for me personally was very
reassuring, and they expressed their unconditional love. I know that love is
not just for me either, but for every member of the Family. I know from seeing
the amount of correspondence between Mama and the field, the various prophecies
that she sends to people in answer to their letters and heart cries is very
much the same. It’s a spirit of encouragement, a personal encouragement
revolution that Mama herself has lived since the onset of the Charter—or at
least that’s my perspective from being able to help handle some of the various
messages that she’s passed on to different people in our field.
Going back to this time of the “Weakness Revolution,” the
other thing that made a big difference was that Peter had taken a lot of time
to put together for me, aside from the prophecies, a beautiful letter of
encouragement. I can’t remember how long it was, but the first two pages were
nothing but encouragement, commendation, and appreciation, which was then
followed by six or seven helpful points of what I could do to help safeguard
myself from the weaknesses that I have. The points in themselves were very,
very helpful, but the thing that impressed me the most was that Peter took so
much of his time to make sure that I was feeling encouraged and not
discouraged. That, coupled with the fact that both Mama and Peter had gone out
of their way to make sure Endureth was able to encourage me personally each day
until I had gotten over the hump, helped me to know that they have genuine
concern for each one of us in the Family.
Though there may be times when we need to have our weaknesses
or the areas that we need to grow in pointed out, this does not necessarily
mean anything other than that the Lord is showing a little bit of “tough love”
through our dear queen and king. It’s part of their job in shepherding and
leading the Family.
Mama and Peter via video
Another recent experience that we [CROs/VSs] had with regard
to Mama and Peter was seeing them on video. It was very exciting to see how
natural and “real” they were. Not having been around Mama physically very much
made the videos pretty exciting for everybody. She’s funny, natural, engaging,
determined, spiritual, and wise—everything that the Lord has said. The
anointing and the gifts of the Spirit were obvious and impressed us in a
wonderful way. Then, of course, the natural way that she and Peter were with
each other—both in terms of affection, humor, or the prophecies and spiritual
principles that they were sharing—was fantastic.
Peter’s sacrificial nature
Four or five years ago, Peter and a small team visited
Thailand. One of the things that impressed everyone who met Peter at the time
was how concerned he was for everyone that he met, every Home he visited, every
person he talked to, every situation that he encountered, every project that he
became aware of. He was extremely sacrificial with his time, and spent a lot of
time talking to the different individuals he met whom he felt he wanted to talk
to, or who wanted to talk to him, regardless of his personal needs or
strength.
He took time in the Homes he visited to meet with the
children, to tell them about life with Mama, to show them pictures of Mama and
his Home, etc., which the children still talk about. He showed himself so
interested in and concerned about the mission field of Thailand, and all that
the Lord was doing here.
Mama’s outgoing love and concern for others
This is something that I’ve been impressed by at Summit
meetings—how Peter would go out of his way to show the Lord’s love to the
various women leaders that would attend, knowing that he is quite in love with
Mama, and she with him, and it’s not necessarily that easy being away from each
other for such lengths of time.
Knowing what a sacrifice it must be on Mama’s part, it has
been pretty remarkable to me to see how Peter has continued to go out of his
way to show a large measure of love, sharing with the different women that
attended the Summit, knowing again that this is something that Mama is not only
a party of, but definitely encouraging. Both Mama and Peter were an example of
living the Law of Love to the full. Another thing that has impressed me
regarding Mama is how concerned she is for the individual. I know that for
Endureth the last many years have sometimes not been super easy for various
reasons. Although we are still mated and together in every sense of the word, I
am also together with Pearl, and we have several children together.
Although I’m not sure if it’s for that reason, I do know that
Mama has gone out of her way to make sure that Peter has shown Endureth a large
measure of love during the times we have visited, which is something that
Endureth has been very appreciative of. This personal love, concern, and the
personal touch is so beautiful and Christlike. It’s somewhat inescapable and
these are some of the things that I have seen and experienced with Mama and
Peter both.
I hope that gives you a picture of my experiences with Mama
and Peter, which couldn’t be anything but wonderful, beautiful, and very real.
The Lord is now beginning to bring to pass an era of greater works that will
make everything that the Family has done until now seem like building blocks
for what He had planned all along. It’s therefore not surprising, just as Mama
said in a recent Letter, “Stay on the Wall,” that the Enemy is fighting in a
variety of ways, including this particular letter from a former member that is
not only insidious, but has the intent of weakening those who the Lord has
chosen to carry on this work until He returns.
* * *
Mama, Peter, and the Grandkids!
By Rejoice, WS
My name is
Rejoice. I worked with Keana (Techi) during her teen years, and have been
involved in the daily care of Mama and Peter’s grandchildren, Trevor and
Olivia, for the last four and a half years.
About a
year and a half ago we moved closer to Mama’s Home for a while, and there I met
her for the first time. During the time that we were living nearby, Mama and I
had some talks together.
Even before
I met Mama, her love and concern for Keana and the grandkids came through in
her wanting me to communicate regularly and share news of how things were going.
I’m a mother whose grown son is off on a mission field, so it was very easy for
me to understand Mama’s desire for this communication. You want to hear news
about your child because you love them so much and they’re such a part of you.
Something
that I admired in Mama was that I never felt my communications with her had to
be watered down. I didn’t feel I had to hold back and not be honest with her
even when Keana went through her difficult teen years. There were a couple of
times when I felt nervous about some of the things I wrote, but Mama took
everything in stride and would right away write back encouraging notes to me
along with either some counsel or telling me how they were praying for the
situation and Keana and me. I think it’s a wonderful quality in a mother to be
able to hear not only the good things about your child, but also hear about the
hard times they’re going through, and then not blame you for their hard times,
even when I know there were times I didn’t handle things as well as I could
have.
Then Keana
had Trevor, Beth had Olivia, and once Mama was a mommy but now she is a
grandma. What’s more, the mommies, grandkids and I, along with some others,
moved nearer to Mama and Peter’s Home for a time, so Mama and Peter got some
hands-on grandparent training. I’m happy to report that although some of the
first sessions were pretty exhausting for them, they came through with flying
colors. Ha!
Mama is a
normal grandmother, although she is the first to admit that caring for little
kids is not her forte. The kids are live wires, and Mama and Peter have
sometimes come out of a few hours with the kids ready to take a nap.
Nevertheless, even when she and Peter have been busy with the affairs of the
Family, they really try to make time for the grandkids.
When first
living near them, they were so excited about the grandkids and decided they
would take the kids on an outing. The mommies were a bit concerned, knowing
full well how exhausting two four-year-olds can be, especially these guys who
are so full of energy. So after talking a bit with the mommies, Mama and Peter
decided, “Well, maybe we’ll take them for a few hours in the afternoon instead
of for a full day.”
Mama and Peter haven’t been with young kids this age probably
since David and Keana were that age; plus, as you know, as we get older we just
don’t have the stamina that we used to. After a few hours with these guys (and
there’s nothing shy or meek about these two once they warm up!), both Mama and
Peter were wiped out and told the mommies that perhaps the next time they’d
bring a support staff. Ha! After taking the kids that first time, Mama and
Peter also took them for other outings. (This time the mommies went along!)
They did things like going to the circus and to a marine park.
When Trevor
was sick with a cough, Mama called to talk to him on the phone to encourage him
and pray for him. He was so excited. While he was on the phone, Olivia was in
the background shouting she wanted to talk with grandma too, which of course
Mama had full intentions of doing.
One time
when Mama and Peter were going to take a trip, the kids, upon hearing about it,
wanted to draw and color some pictures for them and also send them prophecies
for their trip.
The kids
love Mama and Peter a great deal and often talk about them. One day when Olivia
was talking with Keana about their grandparents, she said, “I know Peter is my
grandpa, but I call him King for short.” Ha!
When the
kids were making a card for Mama’s birthday, I was suggesting different
pictures to draw, and one was the picture of Mama with the sheep. They had on
occasion seen some real shepherds, so they both looked at me and I could tell
they were visualizing Mama as a shepherd of real sheep and trying to figure out
why on earth, with all she had to do, she would be walking across the
pastureland herding a bunch of sheep. Then the penny dropped and they realized,
“Oh, but we are the sheep, right?”
One time
when Mama and Peter were at our Home giving a talk, they wanted to be sure that
Olivia and Trevor had special time with them. So when they first came they
spent a bit of time with them and then had a dinner with them and the mommies.
After the dinner the kids were just beaming and telling me of all the fun they
had while with their grandma and grandpa. I wish I could remember all their
little stories of what went on, but what sticks in my mind is how happy and
excited they were and just talking on and on about all the fun they had with
them.
Mama and
Peter, being in many ways typical grandparents, give the children little gifts
at times. One thing that stood out to me was that they were concerned that when
the kids thought of them they would associate their love and care and gifts as
coming not only from them, but from the Lord as well. They try to bring the
Lord into the conversation with the kids whenever they can, but not to the
extreme where it gets to sounding preachy. The little surprises they give to
the kids range anywhere from books, a magic trick set, or a prophecy from Jesus
printed on special paper.
The kids
love receiving prophecies from grandma and grandpa, and are so excited when
they get home to show them to us.
Also at
Christmas and for the kids’ birthdays, Mama and Peter made sure they spent time
with them, along with giving a gift to each of them and praying for them. The
gifts they gave weren’t extravagant, but to the kids, the fact that their
grandparents gave it to them makes them very special. On their last birthdays,
which are eleven days apart, Mama and Peter spent time with each one of them
individually. They wanted to emphasize
to them that Jesus’ Words are the very best present of all, so they gave them
each a beautiful birthday message printed out clearly in big letters with
pictures and borders and stickers. They
gave these to the children first, emphasizing what a special privilege it was
to receive such a wonderful present from Jesus. Later they gave them a toy, but only after making a big deal of
the birthday prophecy—reading and discussing it together. I know that it always
touches the mommies’ hearts to see both Mama and Peter so concerned about the
kids and taking time from their very busy schedule to spend with them.
Mama is
very concerned that each one gets equal time, and anything she gives to one,
she goes out of her way to make sure the other has the same or something
equivalent. One day I told Mama that the kids noticed that one of their
prophecies was on a larger paper than the other. Mama responded that she had a
check about that, but that the prophecies were already printed out so she had
gone ahead, hoping they wouldn’t notice. She made sure the next time she sent a
prophecy for them that they each had the same size paper. That takes time and
love to go to that degree to make sure one child doesn’t feel they’re any more
special then the other.
In talking
with her about the little guys, Mama has been very supportive and encouraging
in my care of them. She has never made me feel that I don’t do it right or
anything like that. She is so easy to talk to and always listens when I explain
different things the kids are learning or battling, and she’ll often take my
hand or touch my shoulder and shoot up a prayer right then and there for them
and me.
When first
hearing that I would be coming to live closer to Mama, I wondered what it would
be like. I understood that Mama was very concerned for all the children in the
Family, and from what I’d read and heard, I felt that she tried not to be
partial in her love even with her own, but I did wonder what she would be like around
her daughter, son, and grandchildren. I was very impressed as I saw her give
them that personal love and touch that only a mother and grandmother can
provide. She’s concerned about their health, their relationships, their ups and
downs, their needs, basically everything.
From what
I’ve seen, though, she has this level of concern with all of us. True, it may
be manifested differently with each individual, but she doesn’t show partiality
to those of her immediate family, but has that motherly concern and love for
all. It’s a tough role to play, because she wants her own family to know that
they’re special to her, but at the same time she’s also a mom to us all, and I
personally think she plays this role very well.
Each time
I’ve seen Mama she asks me about Keana and about how the grandkids are doing.
Whatever she can do to help, whether it’s with a prayer, spending extra time
with them, or whatever, she’s available for them and it’s obvious.
I hope this
gives a little insight into Mama, and Peter too, and their interactions as
parents and grandparents. They are concerned and caring people, but a lot of
fun also. They enjoy mixing and mingling with us and letting their hair down
when they can. I love them and like them too, and I’m sure you would also if
you’d get to meet them.
* * *
Travesty of the Truth
By Bonnie, USA
Recently someone in my Home got an email from a friend
containing a lengthy letter which is being circulated from James Penn (commonly
known as Phil, also known as Jay or Ray). James was a long-time member of WS,
but left the CM Family a little over a year ago. This letter was supposed to be
a personal letter written to a couple in answer to their question of why he had
left the Family, but it seemed pretty obvious to me that it was written with a
much broader vision in mind, as evidenced by its pubs-like format.
I’ve lived behind the scenes in WS for 16 years—12 of them
with Dad, Mama and Peter. And I happen to know James very well. I also lived in
the same Home as James for the two years previous to his departure from the CM
Family, during the beginnings of the GPU (now FCF). All that to say that I
definitely have something to say on the subject matter of his letter!
Since James feels so free to share his views and opinions of
things, I would like to also take the opportunity to freely express mine—which
differ considerably! James devotes pages to voicing bitter criticisms and
judgments of Mama and Peter (as well as Dad) and their shepherding of the
Family, condemning them for everything from the way they handled the issues
brought up in the B.I. court case, to their dependence on the Lord through and
full faith in prophecy, to their use and application of prophecy, to the way
they shepherd people in WS, etc., etc. He uses much carnal reasoning,
witticisms and sarcasm to mock Mama and Peter and the New Wine and supposedly
prove his point, all the while portraying himself as some poor “victim turned
hero,” now himself a “beacon of light” shining the way out of the darkness to
help others. Oh boy, give me a break!
James seems to have lost something vital on his road to
higher logic and reasoning, and that is simple faith. His road has in fact led
him to the depths of judgment and bitterness.
Following the Lord and the Word and His prophets has never been and is
never going to be “logical” or widely accepted or understood by the mind of
man. Reading the Bible shows us that. “For the carnal mind is enmity against
God. It is not subject unto the law of God, neither indeed can be.” “My
thoughts are higher than your thoughts, neither are My ways your ways, saith
the Lord.”
Having lived in the same Home with James before he departed
from the CM Family, I could write as many pages as James on what transpired in
our Home that long year before he made his decision to depart. James spent very
little time in the Word. He had a very exalted opinion of his ability to handle
things in his own strength, and deemed himself to be quite far above the
average Family member in his intellectual abilities.
While he now out of one corner of his mouth praises and
commends Family members for their service to the Lord, Godly attributes and
sincerity, during that last year before leaving he made derogatory and
condescending comments about Family members as a whole, feeling he was above
normal Family members and it was his duty to help these poor, pitiful,
brainless people. His comments were very arrogant and self-promoting.
Somehow, in spite of his lack of Word and his operating
according to his “great intellectual mind,” he seemed to see himself to be a
great discerner of spiritual matters. Hmmm.
It was a continual weakness with James over the years that he needed to
be reminded to stay in and feed from the Word, especially with the ministry he
had of helping to research and write for the more legal and media-oriented
pubs. Unfortunately, he spent many more hours of his time reading and studying
the words and opinions of man and the world and man’s wisdom than the Lord’s
and His Word, and prided himself in his knowledge.
I believe his anger and frustration at Mama and Peter and the
way they decided to handle things because of what the Lord showed them in
prophecy is because ultimately his pride was offended that they did not take
his advice, his “logical” and “reasonable” suggestions. They listened to and
considered his and others’ suggestions, and brought them before the Lord, as
they always do. But ultimately they follow the Lord and do what He shows them
to, and it may or may not be in accordance with what others may think or
suggest. James accuses Mama and Peter of not listening to others, but this is
far from the truth, as any one of those of us who has lived and worked with
Mama and Peter can testify, and which is even evidenced by the many topics in
the GNs that Mama addresses that have come from the Family’s personal letters
to her and Peter. What really bothered James is that they didn’t do what he
wanted them to do and what he thought was best.
Another factor that I personally believe offended James’
pride regarding the use of prophecy is that he did not have the gift of
prophecy himself, and it somehow offended his superiority when others who he
looked upon as less intelligent and important than himself could receive
prophecies about things which Mama listened to and treated with equal respect
as anyone else, no matter what their job or position. After all, it was the
Lord’s Words, and it didn’t matter to her who they came through and how smart
or educated they were. It didn’t matter to the Lord or Mama, but from cutting
remarks I heard from James, obviously it mattered to him!
Prophecy sort of leveled the playing field, so to speak, and
James found himself feeling not quite as lofty and important as he deemed
himself, and this highly offended him. To think that a “lowly” kitchen staff
worker could get a prophecy that could override his great and mighty opinions
and vast personal wisdom! (It was the hit dog—or should I say humbled dog—who
was now howling!) With the growing use of prophecy, people’s opinions were
still sought and listened to, but ultimately what the Lord had to say about
things (no matter who it came through), and what His opinion was, determined
the final outcome. In my opinion, James felt a loss of power and importance,
which was very disconcerting for him.
One thing that really angers me is that James thinks he can
get away with writing such slander about our loving shepherds, and present such
a twisted distortion of them and situations and events by playing upon his
position as a long-time member of WS, someone who was really “up there” and “in
the know,” and using that as a platform of credibility to dump his disgusting
doubts, putrid bitterness, weak faith and gross misrepresentations of the truth
on others, basically trying to poison others with his hatred.
He tries to use examples of people who were supposedly
mistreated, prophecies that supposedly contradicted each other, things that
were decided and said and done, details that he knows that the vast majority of
Family members aren’t aware of because they weren’t there, to sow doubt and
suspicion and fear and mistrust in people’s minds about Mama and Peter, as well
as the New Wine. But hey, I also “was there,” as were others in WS, and sorry,
James, “it just ain’t so!” He can’t hand ME that stuff, nor the rest of those
that were and still are there. In fact, some of us were there when he wasn’t,
and we are aware of the full picture and what happened in each of those
supposed examples and situations he writes so confidently and knowingly about.
It truly is amazing what some people choose to leave out of their account of
things!—Like most of the details and background and important circumstances
surrounding their little “factual” statements of things.
James seems to want to make people think that he is the
“dispenser of all truth” on “what really happened” when it comes to WS and
goings-on behind the scenes and the real scoop about Mama and Peter’s
leadership. Well, I guess he just forgot there are a few of us around who were
“also there.” Maybe he was counting on us not saying anything. Oops, sorry
about that, James.
If people want some nitty-gritty, “inside scoop” stories, I
could write a book on what it was like living with James the year or more
before his departure from the CM Family. It would probably make for quite
interesting reading. But I’ve got better things to do with my time than to
write such things, when there’s so much to be done for the Lord, and you’ve got
better things to do than read it. It infuriates me that he would attempt to
download his big stinking load of spiritual fecal matter on every unsuspecting
soul who received his letter!
It grieves me deeply to hear James speak so critically and
judgmentally of Mama and Peter when they extended so much love, care, patience,
concern, understanding, guidance, prayer and support to him personally for so
many years. Personally I was astounded
at Mama and Peter’s prolonged love and patience, and willingness to go the
extra mile and have faith for him.
I too have received so much from them. Dad and Mama are like
my parents. Along with Peter, they loved, shepherded, provided for, listened
to, prayed for, trained, encouraged, inspired, comforted and cared for me in
every way possible for many years. They were, and continue to be, the most
loving, caring parents and shepherds in every way that I could ever hope for.
When I joined them in my mid-twenties, I was not quiet, meek, humble,
disciplined, spiritual or well trained. I was just the opposite, a bit of a
handful, a wild horse with a lot of energy and strong will and a host of NWOs
that would have scared anyone! But they saw past all those things (which,
believe me, wasn’t easy!) and saw my heart and love for the Lord and desire and
willingness to serve Him with all my heart. In spite of the rough material I
was made of, they had the faith to take me into their arms, their hearts, their
lives and their Home and love me, shepherd, teach me and train me into a more
useful vessel for the Lord.
Dad loved each one of us as his children, and no matter what
kind of harebrained things we did or how we stumbled and fell, even though we
very likely got corrected for it and sometimes a good “spanking,” he was very
quick to forget and continued to love us always; there was no doubt about that.
I personally made Dad very upset on one occasion through my selfishness and
stubbornness, and got quite a deserved tongue-lashing for it. But Dad came up
to me afterwards and looked deep in my eyes and took me in his arms and said he
was sorry he had to spank me but it was because he loved me, and I knew it.
There was no doubt about his love. He made an effort to spend special time with
me later on that day just to make sure I knew.
There were many mistakes we on the staff made over the years,
both large and small, serious and not so serious, and Dad continued to be the
loving father and shepherd that he always was, instructing, guiding, teaching,
feeding, correcting, encouraging, comforting, and above all, loving us. And he
had fun with us too!
And dear Mama has a very special place in my heart, as she
has been, and continues to be, a very real and tangible personification of the
Lord’s love, patience, mercy, understanding and tenderness through the years to
me. She has never expressed anything but total faith, love and encouragement
for me through the years—and sometimes that has been a tough order! Because of
my strong will and personality and consequent weaknesses, I have gone through a
number of breakings and the Lord’s hand working in my life. I have not been an
“easy child,” so to speak. I am not an exceptionally talented or gifted person
in any area. I am pretty ordinary, so it’s not like I had some great
indispensable talents that outweighed all the trouble I was at times! It was
really just the Lord’s love and mercy through Mama, as she continued to
encourage me and express faith in me and love me and pray for me through it
all. She had faith for me when I did not have it for myself. She loved me when
I didn’t see how anyone could love me. She loved me in spite of myself and my
weaknesses, and believed the Lord for me and manifested that love and faith,
patience and tenderness for years, and still does. THIS is how Mama treats
those who live and work with and for her, and so does Peter.
This love Mama has does not stop within her household or WS,
but is extended to all of us in the Family. Aside from loving the Lord Himself,
Mama lives and breathes for this Family! I can testify that she is thinking of
the needs of the Family every waking hour of her day, day after day, as she
lays down her life continuously in prayer for us, listening to our letters,
bringing our heartaches, needs and desires before the Lord, and then seeking the
Lord for His answers and guidance and instruction on practically every aspect
of our lives. She lives to receive and feed us the Lord’s Word. She lives to
give to us—to give us the Word, to give us love, to give us encouragement, to
give us faith, to comfort us, and give the Lord’s answers to our needs and
questions. Her whole life is for us and revolves around us—to give us what we
need to love, live for, and serve the Lord, and be happy, healthy and provided
for in doing so. You have no idea how relentlessly she and Peter both labor for
the Family day in and day out, to their own sacrifice. In my observation, Mama
and Peter have done and continue to do all that is humanly possible for the
Family.
To hear someone like James say that Mama and Peter do not lay
down their lives for the sheep is a gross travesty of the truth, a heinous lie!
They do nothing but lay down their lives every single day! They both bear a
huge burden of responsibility for this Family! How would YOU like to be
responsible to the Lord for and daily be confronted with the burdens, problems
and heartaches of those in the Family? How would YOU like to be responsible for
making some of the decisions that Mama and Peter have been faced with in times
of intense persecution—where you neither want to water down or nullify the
truth of the Word that the Lord has given just because of the pressure of the
godless world system, nor do you want to jeopardize the lives and freedom of
our children and Family members?
Most of us can barely carry our own burdens, or those of our
personal families, Homes and situations (which we often bring to other
shepherds or Mama and Peter), let alone bear those of the entire Family! It is
so easy to sit in the judgment seat and criticize others when we’re not the ones
who are responsible before the Lord for the outcome and its sometimes serious
consequences. I’m sure it would make each one of us very very desperate! And so
it does Mama and Peter.
If Mama is anything, she is most certainly a woman of prayer.
If anyone believes in prayer, I can testify that she does! She believes in it,
and she practices it, and makes sure those who live and work with her do the
same—and bear our burdens and the burdens of our Family daily in prayer. She
and those who live and work with her pray continually for us—our problems,
trials, afflictions, provision, protection, ministries and situations, both
generally and specifically. She and they often pray for specific people and
situations they know of around the world, and they are aware of a lot. Those in
WS consider it a part of their service to the Family to fight for and support
you daily in prayer, and this is due to Mama’s personal conviction and love and
concern for you, and her faith in prayer, which she practices herself, along
with Peter.
Mama is very much touched with the feeling of others’
infirmities, and more concerned about others’ troubles or suffering than her
own. Any of us who have lived with Mama over the years know how cheerful and
positive she is in spite of some of the intense afflictions she has endured for
years at a time with her eyes, headaches, and for a while profuse bleeding.
Often you would talk to her on the intercom or see her in the hallway, and
unbeknownst to you she would be battling a headache or her eyes were extremely
sore and hurting, or she was nigh to fainting due to weakness from loss of
blood. Yet you would never know from her countenance or reaction to you. She
would always be full of love and concern for you, asking you about yourself and
your work and how you were doing, being sure to love and encourage you in some
way, and listen to any of your problems or woes, and pray with and for you on
the spot, all the while suffering herself.
I have had regular migraine headaches for the past six years.
Thank the Lord, they are much milder than they were in the past. I first
started getting them regularly when I was with Dad and Mama, and they were
rather severe. Mama was always very concerned when she heard I was getting one,
and would usually call me on the intercom. I would try to insist on working
until it got to the point I was not capable of working, because there was so
much to do and not so many of us to do it. But Mama would make me stop working
at the first sign of a headache and insisted that I forget everything else and
just rest and get whatever I needed to make me as comfortable as possible. Not
only would she pray for me herself but would have everyone else in the Home
praying for me. She would have people check on me regularly to see if there was
anything I needed or they could do for me to make me more comfortable, whether
it be dashing to the store for some bubbly water to help the nauseousness;
preparing something for me to eat; or getting a cold washcloth and bathing my
forehead, or lightly massaging my head. She would have someone take time from
their work to sit and read the Word to me to encourage my spirit and give me
something to hold onto during this time of affliction and battle. She would
make sure there was an intercom right beside me within reach so that I would
not have to get out of bed or look for it should I need to call someone for
help or prayer.
Many times Mama told me how she admired my fight and
perseverance through my affliction, and how her afflictions were nothing by
comparison. Well, I certainly beg to differ with her on that one! My headaches,
however severe at the time, usually only occurred once a month and only lasted
for 24 hours. Dear Mama faced very sore eyes on a daily basis and often had
headaches while carrying her huge load of responsibility in the feeding and
shepherding of the Family, yet remaining so cheerful and positive all the
while. To me, she is amazing!
Mama always deems others’ sufferings greater than her own,
yet her own sufferings have given her great compassion and tenderness towards
others who suffer, not only physically but spiritually or emotionally as well.
All I can say is I have never been as loved or well cared for
in every way as when living and working with Dad, Mama and Peter. I have
received great love, care, understanding, input, training and shepherding.
However undeserving, I consider myself to have been incredibly blessed, even
“spoiled,” to have received so much when deserving so little. It was just the
Lord’s love through them—through Dad, Mama, and Peter.
So, if you want to know how Dad, Mama and Peter treat those
who live and work with them, that’s my experience.
I know there are many of you who have met Peter on his
travels and have seen what kind of a man he is, and I’m sure there is no doubt
in your mind why the Lord has chosen and entrusted him with the responsibility
of being our king. We couldn’t ask for a kinder, gentler, more loving, serving
king.
All I can say is “wherefore by their fruits you shall know
them”—the fruits of the Family all these years in the way of souls reached, the
message going out to all the world and those helped and won to the Lord; and
the fruits in your own lives from the wealth of Word and spiritual input and
training that has been poured out to you, and your own relationship with the
Lord. That is fruit of Dad, Mama and Peter being willing to lay down their
lives for you every day to take on the burden of the responsibility of
shepherding this Family and its many facets, people, ages, nationalities,
situations and complexities. It is a burden and responsibility of desperation,
of prayer, of sacrifice, of love, and of giving without end. Those are the kind
of shepherds we have! Thank You, Jesus!
(End of file.)